


Butterscotch Goddam

by Pacificwanderer (CNichole)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (with the Force), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Solo Has a Sex Tape, Ben Solo is a bad boy, Bodyguard Rey, Class Differences, Dry Humping, Exhibitionism, F/M, Fingering, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hand Jobs, Happily Ever After is all I write, I Love You, I'm Sorry, Implied Kylux in the past, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Light Bondage, Light Praise Kink, Masturbation, No Pregnancy, Oral Sex, Prince Ben Solo, Read the notes in the first chapter, Rey has memories of a hard life on Jakku including food insecurity, Secondary FinnRose pairing, Sexual Tension, Spice Smuggler Rey, The galaxy's favorite party boy, What if Ben grew up with Uncle Lando instead?, but with some drama along the way, come play (a little), i just keep feeling guilty for changing it when I go long, probably closer to 30 chapters than not maybe a little over, regular old humping, this will be completed if this year doesn't kill me lol, took out the chapter estimate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:07:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 127,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21865429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CNichole/pseuds/Pacificwanderer
Summary: When Rey meets Ben for the first time on Cantonica, she is both repelled and drawn to him. Beautiful, decadent, and everything she is not, Ben Solo is the galaxy's golden boy, a playboy prince that is as famous for his sex-holo as he is for being the son of Senator Leia Organa and General Han Solo. Rey hates what he stands for, and the life he represents, but she can't deny that there's something that runs between them, even though she knows better than to catch feelings for an Aristo, especially one as infamous as Ben Solo.As their lives continually converge and tangle, Rey and Ben find themselves on a path that will reveal the dark undercurrent that's working to solidify its power in the galaxy. And as their attraction increases and their relationship grows more complicated, Rey will discover whether she's in league with an angel... or the devil himself.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 732
Kudos: 682
Collections: Reylo - AU's (Star Wars)





	1. I'll Help Myself

The air was sweet and Rey wasn’t sure whether it was due to the abundance of flowers vining through the nearby latticework, or some sort of synthetic scent meant to enhance the harem-like nature of the receiving area.

What she was sure of was that the air was spiced—something meant to relax the guests and probably lower their inhibitions, she imagined. These parties were rife with that kind of thing and everyone knew it. Hells, it was half the reason some people came.

Fortunately, she was used to this too, so she’d injected an inhibitor before setting out from her ship. The last thing she needed was to end up in some socialite’s lap because she let her guard down and, besides, they were here for one socialite in particular. Devrum Fentest was famous for his orgies, which meant that both Rey and Finn were meant to get in, get the credits he owed them, deliver the product, and get the fuck off Cantonica.

It was times like these where Rey wished she could disappear. There really wasn’t anything in the galaxy that was worse than an Aristo party. Part of her knew her bad mood was jealousy at the excess and their lack of responsibilities, but another part of her just hated how they got to live however the fuck they wanted when so much of the galaxy suffered.

Finn, for his part, had gone off to work out the particulars with Dev, which meant Rey was on lookout. She normally enjoyed this role, except when keeping a lookout meant watching over a group of misbehaving socialites. It wasn’t that Rey was averse to orgies, or misbehaving, but work was work, and these kinds of places had their way of muddling the senses until even gravity seemed optional.

And, more to the point, she sure wasn’t dressed to enjoy the present company. Covered head to toe in form-fitting dark leather, and a holster on her side, Rey was armed with her favorite DL-44 blaster—modified, of course. Capable and prepared for everything, she slowly moved around the room, eyes scanning for any unusual activities or signs that law enforcement had caught wind of their clandestine meeting with Dev.

As luck would have it, Rey was remarkably good at not being seen. It was an ability she’d had since childhood, which made her a great thief and spy. This was precisely why Maz loved her so much. Rey saw things no one else did and could get into places that no one else seemed to be able to and, because of these latent abilities, she passed through the room mostly without being noticed.

Dev payed well, which was why Maz continually did spice running jobs for him, but Rey didn’t trust the man. Not that it was uncommon for her to be untrusting. Considering half the galaxy was looking for one alias of hers or another, it was smart for Rey to keep to herself and assume that everyone was working against her—until proven otherwise.

As she waited, Rey slowly weaved her way through the room, dipping and weaving through the revelers as she mentally tallied how many credits she’d get from scavenging a place like this. _That chandelier alone would bring in enough to feed me for a month, never mind the spice sticks, _she thought as her fingers itched to reach out and claim one from a serving droid.

It wasn’t as if anyone would notice, right? Rey was halfway through talking herself into stealing just a _little _bit of spice to sell on the market when a glimmer caught her attention. Rey slowly turned her head and, had she been less of a professional, her face would have given each and every one of her feelings away.

But Rey was smart, calculating, and above all, calm. She schooled her features and feigned indifference as her eyes scanned over the most attractive man she’d ever seen. He was tall, muscled, and laid in an expanse of pillows as creatures, humanoid and other sentients alike, vied for his attention. A Twi’lek draped his lekku over the man’s broad chest in a bid to capture his attention. It didn’t work.

Rey stared covertly before she finally realized who the man was. Almost everyone in the galaxy knew of the infamous Ben Solo. Maz had alerted Finn that he’d be at the party prior to their leaving Takodana and, though she wasn’t about to admit it to anyone, Rey’d actually looked up Ben before they left on their run, and _shit _had she ever seen an eyeful.

She should have realized why his name had sounded so familiar to her when she’d overheard Maz and Finn talking—it was because not only was Ben Solo the famous son of Senator Leia Organa and Captain Han Solo, but he also had one of the most infamous sex-holos in the galaxy.

A sex-holo that Rey had _seen_. She’d justified watching it by saying that she needed to understand what she and Finn were getting themselves into at a party that was apparently being thrown in his honor. And, as a consequence, she had a _very _good idea of what they were getting themselves into.

Way too good, actually. While Dev was better at covering his tracts, Ben Solo seemed to live his infamous life out in the open, but Rey knew better than to write off a man like that. Sometimes it seemed that the larger they lived, the more they had to hide.

_Best to avoid him… but I could catch a glimpse, to keep an eye on who catches his eye and who doesn’t… _Rey talked herself into doing a little covert reconnaissance, not that she needed a reason to stare—_everyone _was staring at Ben Solo and with good reason.

He looked like the king of this ungodly castle, and he looked like a _bored _king. Rey watched as he indolently trailed one hand along the expanse of his stomach while he barely listened to whatever the Twi’lek was trying to tell him. Eventually, he slid out from under the Twi’lek male and languidly rose from the low cushions.

Rey thought, though she couldn’t be certain, that an audible sigh passed through the room when he stood and exposed more of his body, and so _much _of his body was on display. He was wretchedly sublime. His long, dark hair was swept dramatically to the side with glittering jewels threaded throughout. His dark makeup—kohl-rimmed eyes, black lips with an audacious pop of red striping the middle—contrasted with the brilliant white of his outfit.

A tight, cropped top matched a billowing linen skirt which covered his long, muscular legs. His skirt was so transparent it left nothing to the imagination and were it not for the short cover he wore beneath, he would have been entirely on display. His feet were bare and his otherwise pale skin was dipped in some sort of purple sheen that had him glittering like a Corusca gem.

Rey was certain that the bare feet were part of some sort of new-age ritual intending to connect a person to nature, or some such nonsense, and she hated that she knew that—hated that she had to know _anything _about Aristos at all.

She supposed he was covered, and maybe it passed for fashion among the elite, but she couldn’t keep the flush from showing on her cheeks as she realized that if he stepped just a _touch_ too wide, she could see _absolutely everything _there was to see about him.

Rey barely kept her mouth closed as she feigned interest in a passing serving droid. Keeping with the façade, she grabbed a glass from the droid’s tray and pretended to drink as she tried to keep from drawing too much attention. But, try as she might, she couldn’t stop herself from watching the strange, hypnotizing Aristo who was much too tall, much too muscled, and much too beautiful.

Ben Solo couldn’t move without someone trying to catch his eye. People were drawn to him like bees were drawn to the sweet flowers on Naboo. He pulled people effortlessly into his orbit and even Rey caught herself staying close, her gaze lingering on his sculpted body as it glittered in the midday sun.

_He shines like a jewel as he passes by, _she thought. Rey didn’t think that she liked makeup normally, but here and on _him…_ Rey watched from behind a group of sentients as he passed her by. A human woman latched on to his arm and she let out a too-loud laugh at something he said, trying just a touch too hard to get his favor but, for whatever reason, it seemed to work.

The strange, handsome Ben Solo gently drew his finger along the woman’s cheek before dipping in close to whisper something in her ear. Oh, how Rey wanted to know what he was telling her, against her better instincts. She didn’t belong in this world at all, and the last thing she needed was to catch this man’s attention.

_Time to get out of this room, _she thought to herself.

Glass still in hand, she made the mistake of shooting back the golden liquid, drinking deep as it pleasantly warmed her from the inside out. She’d thought it was wine; she was wrong, of course, but she wouldn’t realize it until a little later. In the meantime, she needed to leave before she made a fool of herself or worse, she was recognized. She hazarded one final look back at the hypnotizing Ben Solo and sealed her fate.

Rey was good at blending in, so it was quite the shock when she realized that the handsome Aristo was watching her watch him—that never happened! No one ever noticed her unless she wanted them to notice her. And what was worse, his eyes were clear and focused. He had seen her watching him and seemed to want to know _why _she’d been staring.

_What game is he playing here? _Rey wondered as she realized she wasn’t the only person in the room doing reconnaissance work.

Ben Solo was no spiced-up socialite, and he’d zeroed right in on her. With all the bodies on display in this room, this man had singled her out—a woman of no consequence who merited no second glances and who was mostly invisible to normal Aristos. Rey took a deep breath and kept her expression blank as she broke eye contact and stepped towards the exit of the huge room.

Ben Solo might have known how to play the part, but there was more going on here than Rey was aware of, which put her at a disadvantage. Rey hated to be at a disadvantage, so she took her gaze and her body elsewhere.

Better to wait away from that kind of temptation. People like him drew too much attention and, while she liked to have a feel for the room so she could discern what to expect next, if she stood too close and for too long, Rey knew that she’d catch his eye again, which would spell trouble for them both.

Besides, she knew what socialites were like. Even the lucid ones were devious at best, and dangerous at worst. Always working for their own ends. No, Ben Solo was the last thing she needed in her life.

_Time to find Finn… _she thought while placing her empty glass on the tray of a passing droid as she decided to focus on her anger—at the Aristos, at the planet, at the Force for bringing her to life. It wasn’t the first time she’d been to Cantonica, and Rey was certain it wouldn’t be the last.

Cantonica was a playground for the rich, famous, and beautiful—three things that Rey was undeniably not—and she hated visiting, even when it was to get paid. Between Canto Bight and the excess of costal villas, there was always some Aristo looking to start shit on the planet.

_Never mind the issues with slavery and the Fathier races… _Rey thought to herself as she tried to find her way through the cavernous home.

Dev was the least worst Aristo she knew, which wasn’t saying much. On their first visit, he’d tried to coerce her into sleeping with him, but he’d been so drunk that he’d fallen on his face and passed out before she’d been able to kick his ass.

Now, he’d picked up an affinity for Mirialans, so Rey didn’t have much to worry about. Besides, Maz had made it clear that if he wanted to continue using their services, he needed to keep his dick in his pants and his hands to himself.

_Would that all Aristos were as easily cowed, _Rey thought as a gaggle of sentients passed her—a mix of species and genders, all beautiful in their own, unique way and most either blindingly drunk or spiced out. They didn’t see her, which was what she’d wanted, still, she found their giggling to be grating as she shuffled along, getting further and further away from the party as she went.

_Where is Finn? _She thought, blearily. _I don’t like this fucking place one bit. What the fuck is wrong with me? _she thought as she finally realized it had been more than wine that she’d drunk.

She was drunk. Or drugged. Or both. And that was _bad. _Rey wandered and got spectacularly lost and was just starting to panic when a familiar voice called to her from behind. Rey turned too quickly and felt a little funny—maybe the drink had gone to her head?

“You’re going to get yourself in trouble if you keep snooping around in here.”

Rey steadied herself and looked into the face of one of her closest friends—well, as close as she was able to get, anyway. Finn had dressed to impress and his clothing almost passed for Aristo, except he wasn’t showing quite enough of his ass for that.

His overcoat was a vivid blue, and a long, yellow undertunic set off that color nicely. His dark brown skin and tightly curled hair shimmered in the dewy air, which only served to make him look more handsome.

“You suit this place,” Rey commented, and she meant it teasingly, but it was true. In another life, Finn could have fit as an Aristo. As it was, he ended up as a smuggler for Maz, just the same as her, but at least he could play the part better than she.

“Well, with enough money, just about anybody can suit just about anything. C’mon, let’s get back to the party. Dev has our credits, but he’s in the middle of…” Finn stopped short and Rey narrowed her eyes.

“Is he fucking someone? Or multiple someones? Are we waiting around for him to finish with an orgy?”

Finn sighed. “I didn’t ask, but his erm… assistant told me that he’d be finished in an hour.”

“This is such bantha shit, Finn. You know how much I hate these things. I feel like my skin is crawling just by being here!”

Finn stepped closer and wrapped an arm around Rey’s middle, holding her close as he led the way back towards the receiving area. “Look, sooner or later you’re going to have to deal with one of these events without me, so you might want to start getting used to this. One day, you might not have my charming self to keep you from getting your ass kicked.” Finn grinned while Rey glowered.

“That was _one _time and I’ve saved your ass more times than I can count. Besides, I find that my fists do a good job at talking and I’m good at not being seen,” she said, a little slurred. Her tongue felt strangely thick in her mouth and the words were slow to come to her lips.

Finn blinked down at her. “Are you drunk?”

“I dunno. Had something to drink, and it’s not… I don’t like it.”

Finn groaned before fishing around in his pocket. “Ichor. You had ichor. You should know better than to eat or drink the food here. Take this,” he directed while passing over a vial. “It’ll give you a nasty headache, so take some painkillers when we get back to the ship, but it’ll counteract the ichor.”

“Ugh,” Rey groaned before popping the vial open before downing a pill dry. “Tastes like hot garbage.”

“Better than being out of your mind in this place. What were you thinking, Rey?”

“I got nervous!”

“_You _got nervous? I have a hard time believing that,” Finn said with a chuckle.

“Some fucking Aristo saw me, Finn.”

“What do you mean, ‘saw you’?”

“Saw me looking at him,” she replied, eyes wide with emphasis.

“Well, that never happens, which Aristo?”

And she was about to tell him when they rounded a corner and she walked smack dab into a big, broad body.

A little cough and then a laugh sounded from the big body before Finn recovered, “Oh! Ben. So sorry, didn’t see you there!”

“I’m offended, I’ve been told that I’m hard to miss,” Ben joked smoothly as Rey slowly looked up, only to glower at the man in front of her—had he followed her?

This asshole was the reason she was drunk, or spiced, or whatever! Him and his hot body and his piercing gaze and his _noticing her noticing him! _It just didn’t sit well with Rey, not one bit. Here, she’d been looking to avoid him, and now he was right in front of her!

_How fucking serendipitous. Stupid sexy Aristo, _she thought wryly. His eyebrow quirked and his lip curled into a smile as he watched her, almost as if he could hear her ireful thoughts. _This one is going to be nothing but trouble for me, I can sense it._

And so, that was how Rey found herself being _formally_ introduced to Ben Solo, infamous rake, and someone whose penis practically had a fan club. And, given that she’d seen said penis, she understood why. Ben Solo was a _monster _and the way he used his body would have gotten him thrown in jail in several star systems. But that wicked talent and reputation kept half the galaxy crawling at his feet.

As much as she hated herself for it, she kind of admired his swagger. It wasn’t as if he’d had a choice about the sex-holo being released, in fact, whoever had recorded it had tried to blackmail him with it, but Ben Solo, being who he was, didn’t give a shit.

So, it got released.

And the galaxy’s obsession for this dark, wild, chosen son was amplified. He could have cowered, or begged, but he’d looked that sentient right in the eye, so Rey imagined, and called their bluff. And she respected that about him, even if she did find Aristos repugnant on principle.

Still. He was tall and broad, and as he reached out to her, Rey realized how big his hands were. Her hand mostly disappeared within his as he firmly shook while he introduced himself, “I’m Ben Solo.”

“This is Rey,” Finn said while gesturing towards her. “She’s one of my friends.”

“And you’ve never introduced us? Finn... I thought _we _were friends?” Ben purred, without releasing her hand.

Rey expected that other people would be charmed by him, but she knew his type and cut in before Finn could feel bad. “I don’t like to play games. And I don’t like Aristos. Too many assholes who love to pay for lavish parties, but when it comes to paying for the _supplies, _they’re all out of credits.”

Ben blinked, his lush lashes dusting across his cheeks before he laughed, face crinkling with mirth as if she’d just told a joke and not insulted him to his face. Rey had_ not _been expecting that. Usually, when she insulted someone, especially someone with wealth, they acted offended and bolted off to lick their wounds.

But this man? He just seemed more interested, which wasn’t at all what Rey had been intending. Ben pulled her hand against his chest before declaring, “Charmed. I hope to be seeing much more of you, Finn’s friend, Rey.”

She should have pulled her hand back, should have punched him right in the fuckin’ sternum, should have done absolutely _anything _other than stand there like a spiced fool as he dragged her hand up his chest before dipping his head to press a slow, hot kiss on the inside of her wrist. A satisfied smile spread across his handsome face as he watched her react.

Time slowed, and Rey’s pulse thundered in her ears as the galaxy shrank around them, leaving just her and Ben Solo, binary stars revolving around the same strange center. Her head dipped back as she stared at his face, his full lips, the blush on his cheeks, his dark brows, deep-set eyes—intelligent, curious eyes. A gaze that would haunt her dreams, she was certain.

_I’m going to have glitter and lipstick on my wrist, _was all that she could manage to think. Ben smiled down at her as if he realized and enjoyed that fact. His cloying scent enveloped her, and she knew that she’d be taking that with her in memory as well. With a final squeeze to her hand, Ben released her and broke the spell between them.

Ben stepped over to Finn and gave her friend a kiss on each cheek and then finally, a lingering kiss to his lips, before disappearing back into the party without another word. Finn was _visibly _charmed, mouth still pursed a little as if he was thinking of what it felt like to have Ben’s lips against his.

When Ben was gone, when his presence and his heat and his scent were _finally _gone, Rey managed to clear her head enough to gripe, “Who the fuck does he think he is?”

She was getting ready to go on a bit of a rant, but Finn shushed her. “He’s _Ben Solo, _son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, and he is well-liked. And, well, _I _like him and I’d like to stay on good terms with him.”

Rey raised an eyebrow, incredulous. “C’mon, Finn. _Him_?”

Finn raised his hands, waving as he assured her, “It’s not like that! Though I should be so lucky. We just have more than a few mutual friends—I met Rose because of Ben!”

That surprised her. Rose was a lovely woman and didn’t suffer fools. That she knew this Aristo was somewhat of a surprise.

“Well, if _Rose _thinks he’s an okay sort of person…” Rey started as Finn fixed her with a glare.

“Because my vote of confidence isn’t enough?”

Rey raised her eyebrow. “Finn, I know what you’ve done for tall, dark, and barely clothed.”

Finn sighed before a fabulous grin worked its way onto his face. “Okay, you got me, pumpkin.” And, before Rey could get upset at his nickname—that she _hated—_he continued, “Let’s get the hell out of this hallway. Dev said he’d meet us at the Starbird, so you don’t have to keep yourself from murdering or fucking any Aristos.”

Rey groaned. “Piss off, Finn.”

Finn shrugged as he wrapped a strong arm around Rey’s shoulders. She wouldn’t admit it, but she definitely needed help walking because her brain was still way too fuzzy from the ichor and Ben Solo.

“I mean, I wouldn’t blame you. Hell, there was a time when I’d have _killed _to have Ben Solo’s attention.”

“Zip it, Finn. There’s nothing there. He’s just some stupid, hot, Aristo playing games—as always. End of story.”

“End of story,” Finn parroted, but Rey could hear the smile in his voice and even she knew that there had been _something _between her and Ben, but what, she wasn’t certain.

That night, while they flew through hyperspace back to Takodana, Rey dreamed of dark eyes, a charming smile, and a deep, resonate laugh. And when she woke, she knew, she just _knew_, that damn Aristo, Ben Solo, was going to cause her no end of trouble.

* * *

**Author's Notes**: Title for this is taken from the Fischerspooner song of the same title, which I listened to a lot while writing this, in addtion to my Ben Hoelo Playlist, because that's how I write things. Any mistakes are my own. I wish I could show you the art that initially inspired this work, but it was lost to the tumblr purge. It was pretty glorious, ngl.

So, I'm feeling a little chaotic, so I'm going to write it out. I've been working on this for a while because I've always wondered how things would have ended up for Ben had he gone to Uncle Lando's as a kid instead of Luke's (answer: way too much fun, way too many flings, way too much trouble). It's heavily implied that Ben has had past relationships, so if you're looking for Virgin!Ben (or Rey), this isn't it (my other complete canonverse story, Steady As We Burn would be better for that), though the story will focus on their back and forth and there won't be any cheating going on here.

If you have concerns (questions about content you might find triggering), you can always message me and I'd be happy to chat, though I'll try to be as courteous with the tagging as I can. Not super angsty, but there will be some drama, along with humor, so I'll try to keep it balanced as these two figure their shit out. Drug use mentions (Rey's a spice runner) and other underworld issues in this. Also a (kind of) continuation of some of my But Thinking Makes It So shorts because I just couldn't let go of Ben Hoelo.

* * *

**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend, hit me up on [Twitter,](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading!**

**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom [@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media for 2020 :)**


	2. Affection In All The Wrong Places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a botched attempt at stealing some Corellian whiskey, Ben Solo comes to the rescue. Invading her ship and her space, Rey finds it hard to resist the charming Aristo, even though every cell in her body warns her against getting attached to a man like him.

The routine customs check had gone well. The Starbird was retrofitted with covert smuggling compartments that the Coruscanti port officers didn’t know to check for and the durasteel planks hiding compartments under the walkways were free of contraband, as planned.

Rey and Finn kept their illicit goods hidden and safe. The last thing they needed was to get their spice confiscated—they couldn’t afford a loss of cargo like that or Maz would have their heads. There was a time when Rey used to feel bad about smuggling spice, but years in the Jakku desert had changed her and, besides, Maz was particular about who they worked for—namely that they take jobs from Aristos who could afford their services and not people who were dealing in the streets.

Not that there was any sort of moral hierarchy in spice running, but Rey liked to comfort herself that at least they weren’t working for the syndicates. As much as spice could ruin someone’s life, she didn’t mind so much if that someone happened to be a wealthy Aristo. It was cruel, but so was the rest of the galaxy and a girl needed to eat.

Though nothing could stop her from dreaming about one day when maybe, just maybe, she’d be able to do something else—to _be _someone else other than a spice runner, but that would take credits, and she wasn’t going to make much in the way of credits by being nice or waiting around for them to fall into her lap.

Finn jabbed her with his elbow when he noticed her daydreaming as he packed the shipment into dummy containers. “Head in the game, Rey.”

“Right, right. I guess I’ll stay with the ship. You going to be fine getting payment?” she asked as he finished up. Finn was resourceful and good at talking his way out of trouble, but she still worried. The Coruscant underworld wasn’t known for being a friendly place and she’d gotten into no end of scrapes here over the years.

“Aw, warms my heart that you’d worry, pumpkin,” Finn teased as Rey glared.

“Don’t get shot and lose our credits, is all I’m saying.”

“Sure, sure. I should be back within two hours. I’ll comm if I have any issues,” he said while checking his wrist, so Rey did the same. She marked the time and would wait for him to call if needed. Which meant she was going to be doing a whole lot of standing around, guarding, and being bored. Which she fucking hated.

Rey was a woman of action and she liked to move. Staying in one place just made her antsy, which Finn knew, so she wondered whether he was doing this on purpose to test her patience. After getting drugged on Cantonica, Rey thought she probably deserved it, but she’d still get him back for making her stay with the ship while he got to go out into the city and do the fun part.

She tried to behave, she really did, and stayed on the ship for as long as she could manage, but boredom and curiosity were a dangerous combination, and eventually, Rey found herself skulking around the port. It smelled like engine fuel, grease, and scalefish and, though the rest of the port was busy for this time of day, the dock they’d landed at was relatively quiet.

There were a few vessels aside from their own in the expansive area, and some even had their cargo half unloaded, Rey noted, as she poked around. It was beyond fucking foolish to leave cargo unattended in a place like this.

This was Coruscant, home to all and friend to no one. Kill or be killed on this planet, especially on the lower levels, and Rey was good at taking advantage of opportunities when they presented themselves. One merchant had carelessly left some Corellian whiskey crates out in the open, just waiting to find a new owner, and Rey wasn’t about to pass up a chance like this as she loved Corellian whiskey.

And it’d all have gone swimmingly if she’d not spotted Ben Solo out of the corner of her eye, watching her from somewhere near the port exit, which distracted her so badly it sent her tripping and falling right onto the cargo.

“Fuck!” she cursed, just as an angry-looking Rodian merchant popped his head out from around some stacked crates.

_“What is your business here?” _he grumbled. Rey barely made it out, her Rodian was terrible.

“I was just…,” she stumbled her way through an excuse. She was _never _this foolish. Even when she got caught stealing, which was hardly ever, she always had an exit plan. But somehow, the sight of that stupid Aristo had sent her mind reeling.

But more than that, it was like her body had reached out with awareness. Like finally taking a breath after being held underwater—the relief when she’d spotted him was...

_Palpable. Overwhelming, _her mind supplied as the Rodian started to yell. Rey’s hand slipped to her blaster, which would be her last resort, but she still liked to know she was protected, especially when he started to shout that he was going to call the guards on her.

Shit. This was going south fast_,_ but just as the Rodian started to get _really _mad, arms and green antennae flailing as he accused her of theft, the sound of shoes clicking against the duracreet ground interrupted the ranting sentient. The Rodian’s eyes bulged a little as he seemed to recognize the infamous Ben Solo.

_Does everyone in the galaxy know this fucking Aristo? _Rey grumbled to herself as Ben reached out to take her blaster hand, a knowing smile on his face.

“There you are, beautiful. I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” he murmured before pressing a kiss to her wrist, just as he had on Cantonica.

The Rodian before her immediately stepped back when he realized that she knew him and apologized profusely for the misunderstanding. There had been no misunderstanding, she _had _been planning on stealing his whiskey, but she was glad for the interruption, even if it had been an Aristo who’d saved her ass.

The Rodian merchant left with hardly another word, and about ten bows towards Ben before they were left alone together. She hadn’t seen him since that day at Dev’s, though he regularly featured in her dreams, which pissed her off to no end—waking up, flushed, body aching, fucking _needy _for a stupid Aristo who she’d met _once. _It was embarrassing. This was the first time she’d been near him on her own and Rey didn’t like it or, more to the point, she didn’t trust herself to be alone with him.

“There are easier ways of getting my attention than by stealing whiskey,” Ben joked as a smile worked its way onto his handsome face once they were alone.

He was dressed more subtly today, dark robes cinched tight at the waist with a wide leather belt, but split to almost his navel to reveal a flash of color—ruby red—as another layer peeked out from beneath. His pale chest gleamed and her eyes were drawn to it, so of course, he noticed.

Rey forced herself not to be embarrassed as her eyes continued their descent. Dark pants and high leather boots finished off the look and Rey couldn’t help but think that he could almost pass for a prince today, which was saying something considering how much of him she’d seen on Cantonica.

_Almost all of him, really, _her brain supplied unhelpfully as she glowered. “I don’t want your attention,” Rey lied. “And, I think can handle myself now.”

His makeup was subdued, but a fine shimmer on his lips glinted in the light as he stared down at her. “I see that, but unless you want that Rodian to come back with friends, it would be best to indulge me for a little while, sweetness. They know better than to bother one of mine.”

“Don’t call me that,” she grumbled. She wasn’t his sweetness or _his, _and it was his fault she got caught, to begin with.

Of course, it didn’t help that Rey looked like she’d been wrestling with a happabore, and she was sure there must be oil smudges on her normally pinkish, freckled skin. Her long hair was pulled back into a messy bun and her leathers were dull and dirty from her work. She looked every bit the smuggler she was. And here was Ben Solo, prince of sin, looking like a juicy shuura fruit. It wasn’t fair, but the galaxy rarely was for someone like Rey.

His curled, glossy hair fell to the side, head cocked as he continued teasing her, “What should I call you? Starlight? Wicked temptation?”

“Rey. You know my name is Rey,” she said before taking her hand back and making her way onto the ramp of her ship. If she thought he’d get the hint and piss off, Rey was sorely mistaken because Ben just followed her right up into the cramped hold.

“Who gave you permission to come onto my ship? And what are you doing on this level, anyway?” she growled while getting right up in his face, his stupid, handsome, smarmy face. No one aside from smugglers, merchants, and syndicate members normally hung out around these parts.

Of course, he ignored her entirely and focused instead on what he wanted. “You didn’t answer me.”

“Answer you _what? _My name is Rey. Use it,” she said, punctuating her words with a tight press of her finger against his exposed chest.

He liked that, she could tell and, much to her dismay, so did she. She should have known better than to touch him at all. There was something about skin to skin contact that heightened everything between them and made her weak to his immeasurable charm.

Rey pulled back and started to turn, intending to walk away from him—_run _more like it—but instead she found herself being drawn closer to him as his strong arms reached out and gently enfolder her against him. Back to front, with nothing but their clothes to separate them, they shared space, heat, and air as Rey’s head began to spin.

“Rey,” he whispered against the shell of her ear. “What if I want a special name for you that’s just between the two of us?”

She was weak, lacking control, there was no denying that, but there was also something about him that called to her. Beyond his looks and the feel of him at her back, there was something more… something strange that resonated with each and every one of her heartbeats.

_Him. Him. Him. It’s him, _her heart seemed to say. It was uncanny and made her both uncomfortable and achingly curious. Rey’s curiosity was always getting her into trouble. _Always. _And, this time, trouble had taken the form of a gorgeous, sensuous man.

“What makes you think I want anything special between us?” she asked softly even as she arched her neck to the side.

Ben laughed as his lips brushed against her skin obligingly. “Would you like me to describe what I saw when you were watching me at Dev’s, or what I see right now?”

“How about you kiss my ass, Solo?” Rey grumbled, and she had every intention of pulling out of his arms, but Ben did the most curious thing. Slowly, so slow that she could have stopped him had she wanted to, Ben slipped a hand up and over her abdomen, sliding over the slight curve of her breast, before scraping across the exposed skin along her collar. Rey breathed deep, body pressing into that firm, hot touch, as she waited—barely breathing—to see what he’d do next.

His hand skimmed higher, pressing against her neck before a finger slipped up to angle her head back against his shoulder. She was pinned there, against his hard, broad body, with every inch of him pressed against every inch of her. And she found, much to her frustration, that she wanted _more. _She barely kept herself from whispering, _“Please._”

This was a dangerous game they were playing and one that wouldn’t end well for either of them. Rey had too many secrets and had made too many enemies and Ben… As if the galaxy’s favorite playboy would ever truly be interested in someone like her. But still, she waited for him to speak. But still, a strange hope bloomed in the dark recesses of her broken heart.

Ben let out a long breath as Rey relaxed into his touch as if that had been the catalyst he’d been waiting for. There was a deep desire between them both, something overwhelming and base, almost uncontrollable. But Ben seemed to enjoy edging them both_. _Getting close, but not quite close enough, to what they wanted. Pushing her higher before pulling back and denying them.

Finally, he continued, “I noticed you the moment you walked into Dev’s receiving room, though you worked hard to be unnoticeable. If someone sees you, you’re quick to duck your head and avoid their gaze or move behind a group. If you want to watch, and you _do_ enjoy watching, Rey, you find a vantage point—behind another being, a column, and wait for the right opportunity. You’re patient, so patient, and you’re willing to wait for what you want. Did you like watching me?”

“No,” she lied which earned her a low laugh.

“Did you want to come sit with me? Drape your body across mine like that Twi’lek did his? Did you wonder what it would feel like to touch me? To smell me? To taste me?” he purred.

“No,” she lied again, this time sounding even more unconvincing than the last.

His hand was firm as he tipped her head away from him, exposing the sensitive skin behind her ear to his mouth. His lips pressed against her as he continued, “I imagined what it would feel like to have that tight ass of yours against my legs, to tangle my fingers in your hair and pull—just a little, just to see if you liked it.”

Rey’s breath hitched at that and he _knew, _she _would _have liked that, she would have liked that very much indeed. Rey swallowed thickly, jaw clenched as she fought to keep herself from admitting just how much she wanted this man.

_This only ends in heartbreak. This only ends in heartbreak. This only ends in heartbreak, _she repeated the words like a mantra as Ben’s proximity and words picked at her resistance.

Rey knew that all she had to do was say the word, and he’d leave, take his body and his warmth away from her, but somehow, she couldn’t the words to refuse him. If she just kept silent, maybe he’d give her what she wanted without her giving him anything in return.

Maybe, if she just kept silent, she could keep her heart in one piece. But silence, much like patience, was never her strong suit. And Ben was so good at pushing her buttons.

“What _would_ you like? High-strung smugger with an alias list as long as my…,” he paused and Rey could practically hear his smile as he finished, “_arm_.”

_Ass. Great, cocky, arrogant ass! _She thought. Or maybe she said it because Ben was laughing at her back, lips against her skin as he sweetly urged, “More. Give me more of that filthy mouth, Rey. Tell me all the wicked things you want or lie and tell me how much you _don’t _want them.”

Rey took a breath, heart shuddering as she fought against the urge to press back and let him give her all of what he offered and more. “There’s no way I’d ever let an Aristo like you have me.”

“And why is that?” he murmured, voice low and dangerous.

“You’re too rich. And spoiled. And wouldn’t ever be able to understand me, let alone love me—” Rey finished with a gasp. She hadn’t meant to say that—what had possessed her to mention something like love?

Ben either didn’t notice or didn’t mind and gently nosed along the curve of her jaw as he said, “I see more than you realize. I see a woman who is lost. A woman who wants to be found, but doesn’t want to trust someone to find her. I see your fire, your intelligence, and the pain that you hide. I want to feel your fire. I want to enjoy your intelligence. I would make you forget your pain.”

“The life you speak of isn’t in the cards for me, Solo. Declarations or not, you are who you are and I… well, I’m not willing to get my heart broken again.”

That was the truth, wasn’t it? She was so tired. Tired of scraping by, tired of getting her heart stomped on, tired of the betrayal. And a tryst with someone like Ben Solo, if that was even what he wanted—what would that get her other than more heartache?

His body shifted, but he didn’t release her, not at first. Just held her tight, hugging her, really. It was strange and unexpected for Rey. She felt and knew that this was just a hug. Nothing more. She didn’t often receive comfort from others that was free from expectations and tears pricked the corner of her eyes in response. Was she so hard up for human contact that a mere hug sent her reeling?

“I can take no for an answer,” he started softly. “But understand me, Rey, what I’m offering doesn’t have to hurt. What we can have, doesn’t have to come at the expense of your heart. I want you, this is undeniably true, but I’m willing to wait for you and, if that day doesn’t come, friendship with you would never feel like I was settling for something.”

“I don’t know what I want,” she replied honestly. “I don’t trust people.”

“With good reason,” he finished for her. “You’d be wise not to trust someone like me.”

Rey laughed at that. “Did you just move from trying to seduce me, to holding me, to warning me off? I really don't know what the hell to make of you.”

He chuckled and the rumble of his chest rolled right through her. “What can I say? You bring out the worst in me.”

“That’s because you are the worst, Solo,” she replied before pulling out of his arms, but her taunt wasn’t as biting as it should be. He wasn’t… well, he wasn’t half bad, if she thought about it, which she decidedly did not because she did _not _need to be thinking about how nice Ben Solo might be if he wasn’t himself.

“Kiss me goodbye?” he asked as she turned to face him. And, though it was foolish and she shouldn’t have, Rey found that she _did _want to kiss him goodbye, wanted to do a great deal more than kiss him, and wanted to push him away all at the same time.

So, she gave in to the impulse to push him, except she pressed him hard and tight against the wall of her ship as she fell against him. Their bodies molded together, her stomach pressing into the hard length of his as she reached up and pulled his head down, meeting his lips with her own.

There was something uncanny in the way that Ben Solo kissed her. Rey had been kissed before, though she’d never been much interested in lovers. The part of her that was fighting to survive had a hard time with opening up enough to allow that much vulnerability, but with Ben, the _last person _she should have opened up to, it almost felt easy. Something about him was _always _too easy, and it made him a threat.

He kissed her sweetly, completely, as if they had nothing but time with which to stand there and enjoy each other. Not like Finn would be back any moment. Not like that Rodian could return and take his revenge. No, he kissed her like the moment was infinite. His lips gently sucked on hers before his tongue darted in as he deepened the kiss.

His hands skimmed along her arms before sliding back, one settling on her hip, the other low on her ass. She should have been offended, probably. Except her own hands were tangled in the fabric of his jacket, holding him tight, and she swore to all that was unholy that if he _stopped _kissing her, she’d kill him.

And he seemed to know it because he hitched both of his hands against her thighs and pulled her up against him, turning them both before pressing her back into the wall. She liked that. Liked the way he pressed between her legs, the slow friction driving her wild as she reached up to thread her fingers into his long, dark hair.

Today, he smelled like sin, a smoky masculine scent that intoxicated her so thoroughly that she almost thought it must be a spiced scent, but she didn’t feel out of control. All that she wanted was the man who had his lips and body pressed against hers, which, of course, was the saddest thing in the galaxy for Rey.

Breaking her rules by falling into the arms of the last man she should ever trust, with his broad, tight body grinding hard into hers as she fought for air while pulling him closer, kissing him _deeper. _

_No spice, but he’s a drug all his own, _she had the presence of mind to think as Ben clenched his hands against her ass before he shifted against her core. Rey whined against his lips and she felt his pull into a smile. He liked that, she knew. Liked her against him, weak, and wanton.

_Weak, wanton, useless, a fool… _she thought as her mind finally got control over her desires. This was a mistake and one that would cost her if she didn’t keep it from going too far. Rey pulled back, forehead pressing against Ben’s as she took one deep breath, and then another. And he held her there, body hard and straining, as he waited for whatever she would say next.

_Sorry to disappoint you, Solo, _she thought as she looked into his eyes. They looked darker today, little flecks of gold floating in and out of focus as he stared at her. They were beautiful, he was beautiful, too beautiful and tempting for someone like her.

“You need to go,” she finally managed, though Rey didn’t know how she found the strength to tell him to leave, especially when he was still pressed so intimately against her.

Ben swallowed thickly as his eyes darted from hers to her lips like he wanted nothing more to keep kissing her, but eventually, his jaw squared as he gave a tight nod before gently sliding her to the floor. Her traitorous legs almost dropped out from underneath her as Ben set her down, but he quickly reached out to steady her.

“Been a while since you’ve been kissed like that?” he teased.

_I’ve never been kissed like that _she thought, but what she replied with was, “I’m not talking about that with you.”

The smile he gave her seemed to suggest that he knew the truth, but he didn’t bother her about it again. Ben stepped back, arranged his cock in his tight clothes so that he was _almost _decent, and gave her a wink.

He really was the worst, but still, she smiled as she gave him a small wave while he stepped away from her.

“See you again, Sweetness,” he assured her.

“Doubtful, Solo,” she replied even as the taste of him lingered on her lips.

He turned slowly as if he was waiting for… Rey wasn’t certain of what she wanted, but she was determined not to give it to him—whatever it was. With a wave, he turned and walked down the plank and left her ship, leaving Rey alone, which was best, she tried to assure herself.

_He’s only going to cause more trouble, and you have enough of that as it is,_ she thought, even though part of her wanted to call out and have him make good on the promise of that wicked body and sensual mouth.

But that wasn’t in the cards for someone like her, no matter how much he seemed to be drawn to her. Alone meant that you didn’t get hurt. Alone was what she knew best. Being alone was the only thing she truly deserved.

* * *

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	3. Don't Want To Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finds herself addicted to finding out everything she can about Ben Solo--and a little addicted to celebrity gossip as a result. Unbeknownst to her, that information is going to come in handy because Maz has a new job for her and Finn, one that will push Rey out of her comfort zone and into a backless dress.

Rey woke from a dream that was so intoxicating she’d almost been able to convince herself it was real. A crooked smile. The touch of a lover. The feeling of connection and contentment. And belonging—a childhood dream come true. With a shake, she pushed herself up from her small bed. The rough synthfur caught against her skin as she struggled to sit, brain foggy as the sleepiness lingered.

It was a dream she’d had many times before.

When she’d been small and alone, before she’d killed Unkar Plutt, before she’d left that barren hellscape of Jakku, Rey would dream of a better life. Sometimes, instead of studying alien languages or practicing flight sims, she’d read. In the crew’s quarters on downed Imperial ships, far from the big hauls that would draw other scavengers, she’d find little personal treasures which were all that remained of the long-dead officers and troopers.

So many datapads with stories, some of which were absolutely not appropriate for a young girl, but she read anyway. There was one story, however, that always stood out, that she’d never forgotten, even after she’d murdered and fought and clawed her way out of that life.

There was a girl who was unloved, and she found herself looking for her family, but losing herself on along the way. And in this story, there was also a boy, one who had lost himself so long ago that he no longer remembered who he was or what it was that made life worth living. He’d sold himself to a great and terrible entity for power so that his existence could mean something. The entity assured him that all he wanted was within his grasp, if only he made a small sacrifice—his freedom. Surely it was such a thing to ask for in the face of such immeasurable power?

Lies. Betrayal. Deceit. His path was darkness until he met the girl. And everything changed. Sometimes, Rey would pretend that she was the lost girl, fighting for survival against insurmountable odds. Sometimes, she was the dark boy, given himself so wholly to the darkness that he didn’t see the cracks in his armor until her light shined through.

Together, they saved each other in every way possible. The story’s ending was a happy one and Rey had read and reread that tale until, one day, the datapad had refused to turn on anymore and the story was shelved in her memories. But she never forgot it and, sometimes, she even dreamed about it.

Today was one of those days, and waking to the reality that nothing had changed, that she was still in Maz’s castle, still poor, still scraping by... still in the service of someone else, even if that someone else was no longer Unkar Plutt.

And still, she dreamed of freedom. She really was an irrepressible fucking fool, wasn’t she? A voice sounded from outside of her tiny room and Rey knew that, if she lingered any longer, Finn would be pushing through and into her room to drag her bodily out of bed.

But first, Rey reached over and grabbed her datapad and connected to the Holonet. She wasn’t getting shit done without checking the news first—asteroid charts, weather on the planet, that sort of thing. Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the only thing she was interested in. No one knew... at least, she’d encrypted her datapad so no one _should _know, that she’d been obsessively checking the gossip holos for news of Ben Solo because, as she’d predicted…

She could. Not. Stop. Thinking about him.

And, given how often he was in the public eye, he was _always _in the Holos. Night after night, he was seen with the galaxy’s elites, a new outfit for every engagement, each more extravagant than the last. He really seemed to live to push the boundaries of fashion. Rey could only imagine what his closet must look like.

Sometimes, he even did events with his mother, which were more subdued, but they made quite the pair—Ben, hovering over his tiny mom as she gave some public speech or another. She was running for Senate again, so she was almost as much in the press as Ben. Not that Rey had noticed or even _known _that his mother was Leia Organa before meeting him at Dev’s.

Rey normally didn’t keep up with Aristos, but she just couldn’t get Ben Solo out of his head. For the most part, he seemed to attend events alone, but occasionally, he’d have some sentient or another on his arm. It was a badge of honor for the social elite and Rey was more than just a little bit jealous of the fact that it was so easy for these people to have fun, to forget everything else in the galaxy to just… enjoy life.

They could wear a pretty dress. Do their hair. Put on some makeup. Have fun. Oh and be on the arm of one of the galaxy’s most eligible bachelors. And Rey looked for a glimpse of that glittering life, more and more and more, every morning and every night checking the gossip on the ‘net for news.

Sometimes, Ben smiled in pictures. And he was so breathtakingly handsome that Rey had started saving the candid shots to her ‘pad, just to flip through when she was… well, whenever she wanted. Mostly, he was serious in photos and she thought that maybe it was because he knew his face looked pretty fucking good when he was playing a part, but those quick moments where that smile broke through and the frustrating, beautiful, teasing Ben that she’d seen peeked out?

Glorious.

Rey sighed as she read through the gossip. No news since last night. He’d attended the opera in Coruscant with his ex, but they’d arrived separately and left the same way. Not that Rey was paying attention or worried about it, or anything. Armitage Hux was a notorious serial-dater (and she knew this now because her obsession with Ben had extended to his exes, unfortunately). So, she didn’t have anything to worry about. Not that she was worried. She was _not _worried! Why would she be worried?

Rey sighed to herself. Same old excuses. Same bullshit. She cared because she’d kind of gone and gotten a crush on Ben Solo, who’d kissed her more soundly, and so completely, that she’d not been able to get the feel of his _lips—body—teeth_ out of her mind since. That stupid ass. The absolute cad. How dare he? And yet…

Sometimes, when she was really lonely, she’d think about his promise that what they could have together didn’t have to hurt and she’d regret turning him down. Sometimes, with her hand between her legs and her lip tight between her teeth, she’d pretend it was _his _fingers touching her, pushing her higher, and then she _really _regretted it.

But, mostly, she knew her place and was absolutely certain that she did not belong in Ben Solo’s life at all, no matter how enticing he was. And, besides, what would he want with a desert rat like her? She had more important shit to worry about—like making some fucking credits so she could get out of this life.

Clearing all thoughts of her dreams, of complicated, beautiful temptations, Rey focused on the moment—closed her eyes and really _felt _what she needed to do next. And it was with a blinding sense of clarity she realized that there was something in her mind that wasn’t quite right, wasn’t quite _her, _actually.

It felt as if something was waiting just at the edge of her awareness for her to really notice, for then, and only then, would the source of her confusion reveal itself. And as quick as it revealed itself, the feeling was gone, and she was alone. It felt strangely _important. _Like being tugged in a certain direction by an unseen force.

_What the fuck was that? _she wondered to herself while reluctantly slipping out of the bed. Her feet hit the cold stone floor, and she cursed as she fumbled around for some slippers. She eventually got her shit together enough to hit the shared ‘fresher on her side of the castle before getting on with the rest of her morning routine and kind of brushed the whole mental weirdness as lingering effects from her dream.

Things slipped back into a familiar sort of normal, but she couldn’t banish the thought that something big was about to happen, something life-changing.

_Good or bad_, she wondered before finishing up with getting ready.

Rey didn’t have much time to spare thinking about it and, soon enough, she was in the galley with Maz and Finn to hear a briefing for their next job. It was something different from their normal spice runs. This job paid well, unlike most of the others they’d had recently. Maz would have her cut, of course, but that left more than enough for her and Finn to split. And maybe, just maybe, she’d be able to put some of those credits away for safe keeping and save up for a new life.

Other staff from around the castle moved throughout the galley, slipping in and out as the sounds of dishes and food being scraped together filled the room. It was a big space but felt smaller for all the activities. It was actually one of Rey’s favorite parts of the castle and one where she didn’t feel quite so alone. Plus, there was always extra food lying around and Rey was _always _hungry.

Rey sipped on a bitter cup of instant caf while waiting for the nanowave to finish heating up her breakfast. Once it was finished, breakfast and caf in hand, she walked over to the small table in the corner and slipped into a seat beside Finn who looked like was nursing a hangover.

“Up too late in the cantina?” Rey asked, just barely keeping the smug smile from her face. Rose was probably unimpressed, but she’d also had her fair share of late nights in Maz’s. They all had.

Finn groaned. “Yeah, one bet led to another and—you know what? Let’s not talk about it. My head is throbbing.”

“I can make you one of my hangover cures if you want?” Rey offered and this time she couldn’t keep the smirk from her face.

Finn made a face. “Fuck no, but thank you. That _cure _is worse than the hangover.”

Maz stepped into the room, her tiny frame somehow managing to take up a huge presence in the galley. Maz was all business at this time of the day and went right into what she wanted and needed Finn and Rey to hear.

“We’re branching out,” she said with a coy smile, hands rubbing together as she considered them both. “Getting some new business—protecting clients.”

Rey wasn’t sure what she meant by ‘new’ considering Finn had been doing bodyguard work for Maz since before Rey had even landed on Takodana, but she’d never expected that kind of work from Rey. Guess things were changing.

“Don’t we already?” Finn asked before swiping Rey’s caf and gingerly giving a sip. “This is terrible,” he added to Rey, who rolled her eyes and ignored him.

“Certainly, but not of this caliber. It’s time to make some real money!” Maz said with a little chuckle. She looked absolutely thrilled with herself, which Rey knew was a bad sign. Whenever Maz looked thrilled about something, it usually meant that she or Finn were going to be put through some sort of wringer.

“What kind of clients?” Rey asked before scooping up a spoonful of her rapidly cooling oats.

Maz fixed her gaze on Rey, glasses glinting in the low light of the galley as she stared. Rey liked Maz, but she was wary of her—she was wary of everyone, really. But Maz in particular. It was hard enough to trust, but knowing that Maz had lived for the equivalent of almost 40 of her human lives was daunting to think about.

Finally, Maz answered, “Same as always.”

“So, babysitters for the rich,” Rey finished with a sigh. _Rich Aristos with too much time and no responsibilities. Great._

Maz laughed. “This is why I like you! Never afraid to say it how it is. But you should mind yourself Rey, your face always gives you away, even if your words don’t.”

Rey shrugged because it was only true for people who actually knew her. She worked to keep herself as stoic and disconnected as possible. It didn’t always work. Somehow, her anger always managed to get through, but often her bluff was good enough to trick most sentients.

_Not Ben Solo, _her mind unhelpfully supplied. No, not him at all. He, like Maz, seemed to know things about herself that even she didn’t. It was unnerving, but there wasn’t much she could do about it other than avoid him, which was what she fully intended to do.

Rey’s spoon hit the side of her bowl with a little clink as she finished her breakfast. Finn gave her an incredulous look, and she knew it meant something like ‘You eat as fast as a bantha during feedings,’ but she didn’t take offense.

She _did _eat quickly. It was something she’d learned at a young age, either you eat quick, or there might not be any food left. People weren’t kind or forgiving to scavengers on Jakku and, more than once, she’d had her portions taken after not paying close enough attention to her surroundings. Better to eat fast now than to not eat at all.

“I thought Aristos had their own security details?” Finn, voice strained as if every word amplified the pain of his hangover.

“Syndicates are branching out and headhunting the best. The Aristos are playing power games. I have no time for such nonsense, but I do not like that the syndicates are sticking their noses in where they don’t belong,” Maz grumbled.

Rey could understand that. She’d had a few run-ins with syndicates over the years and it was always nasty business. Almost lost her head more than a few times. And it wasn’t just any syndicate that had been giving Maz trouble, but Crimson Dawn.

Rey had more than a few run-ins with them herself, and she knew that this bodyguard business wasn’t just a new source of income, with Maz, it was personal. Which meant Rey had to keep her eyes open and her ears to the ground for information on what the Syndicate was planning.

“What do they want?” Finn asked.

Maz chuckled softly. “What they always want—power, money, influence.”

“And that means fucking around with the Aristos?” Rey asked and Maz gave her a nod.

“Certainly does. Dev had men at his doorstep just last week, asking for protection money.”

Rey made a face. The last thing she wanted was to deal with syndicate goons like that, and she said so. And, to her surprise, Maz nodded her agreement.

“That’s bigger than I want to mess around with too. But for private events, public outings, you and the others will be up for contract work as… deterrents.”

“Deterrents,” Rey deadpanned.

“Yes, you will stand around and look pretty and help your hosts if anything untoward happens.”

“And if we don’t wanna?” Finn dared to ask. She must have had this conversation with the rest of her smugglers, as Finn and Rey were hardly the only people in her employ—though, they were her favorites.

“Then you know where the door is, my dear boy,” she replied, which was answer enough. Take the jobs protecting rich Aristos or show yourself out.

_Not much of a choice, but I guess I’ll take it. _Rey gave Finn a look, and he seemed to be coming to the same conclusion as her.

Finn shrugged. “Guess I should brush up on my blaster skills.”

“You wouldn’t need to brush up if you just listened to me once in a while,” Rey teased.

It was true. Rey didn’t have the luxury of getting sloppy as there was no telling when she’d need to make a break for it—and quick. But Finn had Rose and, in a way, Maz, which made him soft. Rey didn’t have that security. She was no one who had no one. But that was okay. At least, this way, it would keep her from getting hurt again.

“Blaster skills aside,” Maz interrupted. “You two need to brush up on your manners.”

“I’m plenty polite,” Finn disagreed.

“Social protocol with these events is a little different from what you two are responsible for when delivering spice. Don’t draw attention to yourselves and keep _others _from drawing attention, as well.”

“Deterrents,” Rey finished as Maz nodded in agreement.

“Look like you belong, keep our clients safe and happy, and keep things flowing—or find a quick exit. That is your job.”

“And when do these jobs start?” Rey asked as she finished her drink, and wasn’t quite paying attention to how grimy it was at the bottom, so ended up with a mouthful of caf-flavored silt in her mouth.

Instead of answering, Maz asked. “Do you have formal clothing, Rey?”

Rey blinked, sucking the rest of the caf from her teeth, before gesturing to herself. “This is as formal as it gets, Maz.”

“Well, we’ll have to see about that, won’t we?” Maz replied. And Rey knew from the smile on Maz’s face that, whatever was happening with this new assignment was, she was not going to enjoy it. Not one bit.

* * *

About three hours later, back in her room, Rey was most definitely _not _enjoying herself. At least, she had Finn for support, but at the moment, he was pissing her off more than anything else.

“You know, you’re almost pretty when you’re not covered in an inch of dirt,” Finn mused as Rey glared over her shoulder.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Never, pumpkin,” he promised with a laugh. “Seriously though, you look great. Almost respectable. You sure you’re not secretly a runaway from some noble family yourself?”

Rey sighed. “Nope, I’m a certified nothing and nobody from nowhere.”

Finn cocked his head to the side. “Well, you coulda fooled me.”

So, maybe she didn’t look as bad as she thought she would in a dress. And Maz had been thoughtful enough to consider her weapons as the holster on her leg was sufficiently hidden and her boots were high enough to hide a vibroblade. And there were sharp pins in her hair if things got _really _rough. But the rest of the dress… left precious little to the imagination—with a deep split in the front and the back. She looked more like a _companion _than a bodyguard, though Maz had explained that this was part of the plan.

And it wasn’t black, it was a lush, forest green. Rey didn’t wear anything but black, normally. But this was apparently going to help her blend in better—people at celebrations _didn’t _wear black, apparently.

“I can see the line of my underwear with this,” Rey grumbled as Finn snorted out a laugh.

“Yeah, I don’t think you’re supposed to be wearing anything but courage under this,” he explained.

“Are you fucking serious?”

“The most fucking serious,” he managed while holding back another laugh at her expense.

“This is going to kill me,” Rey grumbled, hopelessly.

“Probably,” Finn agreed. “But at least you’ll look good going down.”

“That is something, I guess.” Rey smoothed out the skirt of her dress while she stared at the stranger in the mirror.

_Almost looks like one of those makeover transformations from the holo-dramas, _she thought. She really _did _look different when she wasn’t covered in blood and dirt and sweat. Almost respectable, even.

Finn gave her a long, appraising look, hand raising up to his chin for a moment as he considered Rey. “Now, we just need to do something about that hair.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Rey asked before self-consciously patting her messy bun.

“Oh, everything,” he commented mildly and entirely ignored her indignation, finishing with, “I’ll get Rose. She can handle anything, even _your _hair.”

Rey was still shouting obscenities at him, her hair, the fucking dress, the whole situation that necessitated this bullshit, as he ducked out of her room.

_And this isn’t even the worst part. The Galactic Concordance celebrations are a big deal on their own… but Leia Organa is also throwing a party for her son. _

_Ben Solo. I get to play bodyguard during the speeches and then have to watch as the world celebrates his name day._

“This is going to kill me,” she repeated aloud, to no one in particular, as she had the faintest feeling that somewhere in the galaxy Ben Solo knew of her plight, and was joyous with the prospect of what was yet to come.

* * *

**Author's notes: **Any mistakes are my own and yes I am just writing in tropes and situations I enjoy in fic lol what of it? Rating is probably going to go up in like two chapters. I can't wait for Concordance daaaaaaaay ha ha ha.

**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend, hit me up on [Twitter,](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading!**

**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom [@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media for 2020 :)**


	4. Fascination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has a Cinderella moment, while Ben gets caught on a walk of shame. But while one’s playing a part, the other has more going on behind the scenes than anyone realizes. It’s Galactic Concordance Day, Ben’s birthday, and Rey’s about to meet Senator Leia Organa, what could go wrong?

Rey was spending entirely too much time on Coruscant lately, but given that half of the Aristos with credits in the galaxy filtered through the city on a regular basis, it made sense. Maker forbid they have to go without their spice supply for even a second longer than necessary. She supposed it kept Maz in business, but she also resented the shit out of them for their excess. Listless, beautiful, selfish, and cruel—that pretty much summed up Aristos in her mind. Most of them anyway.

_Ben Solo’s not listless, but he sure is beautiful. Is he cruel? Is he selfish? _Rey wondered to herself as she and Finn traveled to a rented room to get ready for their assignment. She shouldn’t be wondering about any of that, but part of her wanted to find out what really made Ben tick. Was he as terrible as all the other Aristos she’d met?

Rey sighed and caught Finn’s attention. His eyes flickered over to her as he navigated their rented airspeeder through the Coruscant skylanes. “What you thinking about, pumpkin?”

Normally, she’d chew him out for using that nickname, but she was too high strung to even notice. “I don’t know. This all just seems so… Strange? I mean, of all people to keep running into, why Ben Solo?”

Finn turned his head to give her a quick look of confusion. “What do you mean? We saw him once at Dev’s… unless.”

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, _Rey thought to herself. She most definitely had _not _told Finn about her run-in with Ben during their last job, and absofuckinglutely had _not _told him that he’d had her pressed up against the wall of the Starbird, legs wrapped around his hard waist, tongue down her throat. Yeah, definitely missed telling him about all of that.

Finn hummed thoughtfully. “Keeping secrets?”

“Only a few,” Rey replied cryptically.

“I hear he’s a great lover.”

“Evidently.”

Finn grinned but wisely kept his eyes on the zooming traffic. If Ben’s sex-holo was anything to go by, he _was _a remarkable lover. Though it must have been hard for him to trust people when they were always vying for the next big piece of gossip. Probably kind of lonely, now that Rey really thought about it.

Rey stared at the Coruscant skyline, chilly air rushing over her skin and through her hair as Finn flew along. The whole city seemed to be buzzing with excitement and apparently everyone needed to get somewhere because the air traffic was insane. It was a good thing Finn was a patient pilot because Rey thought she might pull her hair out at the stop and go flying.

Despite not liking the city or the planet very much, she had to admit the skyline was remarkable. The buildings stood like giants reaching for the stars and it was amazing to think of how many billions of sentients lived in one place. It was beautiful to look at from afar, anyway, but once you got closer or into the lower levels, the real ugliness always shined through.

“Hear he hates his Name Day, though,” Finn added after a beat, bringing Rey’s thoughts back to Ben.

“Really? I don’t even know when mine is. At least people remember _his_,” she grumbled.

Finn shrugged. “Guess having to share it with one of the most important days in the history of the galaxy gets tiring.”

Rey hadn’t considered that. Though she knew more about his parents now, she really couldn’t think around how hard it must be to live up to that kind of legacy. Being no one, while lonely, did have its perks in that nobody expected shit from Rey. She could live her life free from the burden of expectation, but Ben?

How much had been thrust upon his shoulders? What was it like growing up in that world? Rey shook her head and tried not to think about it. Difficult or not, he had the kind of opportunities she couldn’t even begin to dream about, and the last thing he needed, or probably would want, was her pity.

“Think there’ll be alcohol at this party?” Rey joked, shifting the conversation.

Finn laughed. “After Dev’s? You really lookin’ for trouble today, or what?”

Rey grinned. “Trouble’s my middle name.”

“Well, you’re in the right city, then. In Coruscant, if you’re not looking to get into trouble—or looking out for it, you’re doing it wrong.”

Trouble always found its way into Rey’s life, and she’d just have to wait and see whether the kind of trouble that was heading her way in Coruscant would be the fun kind or the kind that made her want to lose her mind. If Ben Solo was involved, she expected the latter, but at least she might get a kiss… or more out of it.

She tried not to feel hopeful about any of that because she should _not _be thinking hopeful thoughts about Ben Solo, but it was hard when he was such a remarkable kisser, and so hard and fit and muscular and tall and…

_Fuck, _Rey grumbled internally. She really couldn’t just forget him. Or get him out of her head at all. Why did all paths seem to lead back to Ben?

_Maybe the galaxy is trying to tell you something,_ she thought, but that was a stupid thing to consider.

All the galaxy had been sending her way since childhood was bullshit, so it would be wise to assume that she’d be getting more of the same with Ben. Rey tapped her foot irritably as Finn flew them closer and closer to their destination. Anticipation, excitement, dread, all warring within her as they floated along.

Yeah. Coruscant was going to be some kind of trouble.

* * *

Finn navigated them safely to the hotel in good time, especially given the state of the city’s traffic, and the hotel was absolutely not the rundown shack Rey was expecting it would be and, also to her surprise, it was on the upper level of the city. As Finn and Rey slipped from the speeder, a waiting droid jumped in and took control of their craft. Rey and Finn stood and stared at the hotel as the droid navigated the speeder away for parking.

“Well, this is a little nicer than normal,” Finn said with a laugh. The hotel and surrounding area were full of sentients, and the whole city seemed to be bustling. Rey hefted her pack onto her shoulder as Finn led the way into the crystalline entrance of the hotel.

“Yeah, this is… Wow,” Rey breathed as she took in the view. She was used to the kind of money Aristos flashed around, with their gaudy homes and tacky clothes, but this took Aristo and cranked it all the way up to something inconceivable.

At her visible shock, Finn explained, “Really is a different kind of assignment. Things are shifting in the galaxy and spice doesn’t bring in the kind of currency it used to—not with the syndicates trying to get their cut too.”

“Yeah, but upper-level accommodations? I can’t even imagine how much this would cost.”

_More credits than I’ll ever have in my life, _she added mentally. It was a stunning building, as most of the upper-level constructions were. The hotel’s skyscraper stretched so high into the sky that Rey wondered whether the top levels needed artificial atmospheres and gravity.

“Friends of Leia’s own the property and because we’re working for her, apparently we get the friends and family discount,” Finn joked.

“Seriously?”

Finn shrugged before stepping into the lobby. “That’s what Maz implied. C’mon, let’s get ready. We don’t have much time left.”

“Do you know where you’re going?” Rey asked as she trudged along behind while trying not to get caught up at the splendor before her.

“I’ve got the room info in my datapad, and the keycards.”

“You really gotta start communicating better, Finn,” Rey chided. Rey liked to be in control and, in Coruscant, she always felt a little bit out of control and not knowing the whole situation wasn’t helping.

“You have your datapad, right?” Finn asked as they slipped into a transparisteel turbolift. Finn produced a keycard from his pocket and slid it against the sensor before the ‘lift was off.

“Yeah, and I read the briefing. But none of this was in it.”

Finn shrugged. “You know Maz, she has her ways.”

_Yeah, and she trusts Finn more than she trusts you, _Rey reminded herself. She hadn’t been with Maz for that long, so it was to be expected, but it still rankled her. Rey stared out of the elevator and watched as the tip tops of the city came into view. It was a breathtaking sight, but all it did was make Rey feel small and anxious.

_I’m a nothing and a nobody in a city full of somebodies. I can’t fuck this up. _She really needed the credits, especially if she ever wanted to get out of this life, so she’d do whatever she needed to do to make a good impression and, hopefully, that meant Maz would get more contracts guarding rich Aristos for her.

They came to a stop so seamlessly that Rey barely felt it. The doors chimed as they hit the right floor, sliding open to reveal a long hallway that smelled like fresh purple passion flowers. The scent was probably synthetic, but nice regardless.

“Where’s our room?” Rey asked.

Finn checked the directory. “Follow me.”

The hallway seemed to go on forever, stretching on an on for so long that Rey almost suggested they jog, but eventually, they stopped in front of gilded double doors.

“This is it,” Finn announced before tapping his keycard on the panel.

The doors hissed softly before sliding open to reveal the room, which more like a _suite _than a room, and could have encompassed her own quarters back on Takodana at least five times over. Floor to ceiling ‘windows revealed the city to their eyes. Rey had a peek around the suite—full kitchen, what looked like _two_ bedrooms, a sitting area, and probably more within the individual rooms.

“This is nuts,” she marveled before walking over to the windows. Leaning forward, Rey pressed her head against the cool ‘glass and let herself fall a little. The world of Coruscant buzzed before her and it felt like she was floating within it as it passed her by.

Finn let out a low whistle as he explored from somewhere behind her. “Man, credits can’t buy happiness, but they might get you close.”

Rey snorted against the ‘glass, little puffs steaming out from her nose as she answered, “Yeah, let’s just get ready and then get to where we need to be.”

They were meeting up with a representative for Leia at some public park on Coruscant—one of the few remaining green spaces on the largely synthetic planet.

“You’re the one with your head in the clouds—literally,” Finn shot back. He was in the second bedroom, the smaller one, from the looks of it.

Quick as a flash, Rey was off the ‘glass and into the _main _bedroom, tossing her pack on the massive sunken bed before calling out, “Dibs!”

The view was similarly spectacular from the main bedroom, but it also had a full couch and sitting area, as well as a walk-in closet, which she wouldn’t need, and a wall-sized mirror, which she might.

Finn peeked his head in from the sitting area. “You little shit,” he said amiably. “Fine, but we’re using _your _‘fresher.” He pointed with his chin to the absolutely massive refresher that was attached to the room.

“Well, damn,” she said, taking it all in.

The whole place was decorated with an understated kind of opulence, but it was obviously a décor that was curated with care. Art hung on the walls and Rey had enough of a passing interest in art to recognize some pieces—probably prints from famous artists, but lovely. It was beautiful, but she tried not to get attached as she spread her things over what was probably an expensive, creamy satina duvet.

“You have our clothes?” Rey asked while fishing through her things.

“Of course. They’re hanging in my room—there’s some sort of garment steamer droid that’s taking care of them.”

“Well, isn’t that convenient?”

“Fuckin’ Aristos, eh?” Finn said with a shrug.

“Fuckin’ Aristos,” Rey agreed. “I’m gonna use the sonic. Give me a few minutes?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah, after the traffic smog, I need a shower too.”

“Race you?”

Finn looked aghast. “You know I _never _rush with my routine.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Okay, come in when you’re finished, then.”

“Sure thing.”

Sighing, Rey grabbed her nightclothes to throw on after the sonic, made quick work of all of that, and popped out of the ‘shower feeling a lot better. Until she realized that she’d have to do her hair up.

Rose had shown her a pretty easy style—a kind of roll that was fastened with her charged pins, but Rey had only been able to practice once before she and Finn needed to set out. Still, she did an okay job and Finn would be able to fix up what she’d not been able to perfect as he was much better with this whole ‘not looking like a slob’ thing.

With her hair nearly done, Rey decided to start with the makeup. She took it out of the bag Rose had lent her and spread it all before her, which was a mistake. The sheer number of makeup instruments before her was _daunting. _She had no idea where to start, and if she didn’t know where to start, she’d not get her makeup done in time to get to the event, and if she didn’t get to the event, Leia wouldn’t pay Maz, and if she didn’t pay Maz because of Rey, Rey’d get fired and then…

Reaching out, she picked up a sponge and tried to remember what Rose had shown her.

_Foundation? Or what came first… concealer? Oh fuck, I’m so fucked._

Rey stared into the mirror and only her annoyed, super stressed face stared back at her. _Shit, shit, shit. _Rey was going to cry, and Rey did _not_ cry. She _hated _this shit. It was entirely out of her element. She liked to _look _at other people’s makeup, not have to fuck around with it herself. This was insane. She’d never be able to pull this off, which meant she’d never save up enough credits to get out of the spice running business and she’d be poor and alone forever and…

Rey sniffed just as Finn popped into the room, half-dressed and already looking great. He took her in, hand frozen in front of her face, eyes wide and red-rimmed, expression hopeless.

“Pumpkin…,” he started.

Rey swallowed thickly, too upset to even get pissed about his damn nickname. “I just… Rose showed me, but I can’t do this, Finn! It’s too much—there’s too much. What was I supposed to do about the colors and in what order? I just—what is all this shit? What is it? I’m going to get it all wrong and stand out for looking like a fool—” Rey spiraled as Finn reached out.

“C’mon, gimme that. I’ll help you,” he said while softly taking the sponge from her hand.

“Aren’t there droids that can do this kind of thing?” Rey said glumly.

“Yes, but they’re out of our price range, so you’ll have to settle for me,” he said with a wink.

Rey’s shoulders slumped, and she tried to breathe as Finn pulled her closer. “I don’t hate makeup, I just haven’t had much need for it. And these Coruscanti assholes just wear _so much _of it. Rose tried to lay it all out for me, but I just…”

It was a lot. All of this was a lot. She wasn’t used to being anything other than what she was, and what she was was a desert rat.

“I used to have a hard time with it all too, but you get used to it with practice,” Finn assured her while guiding her to the little hover-chair.

“Is that how you got so good at it?” Rey asked, sniffling a little as Finn settled her into the chair.

“Yeah, and Rose likes those makeup holos, so I watch along with her. Helps me keep up appearance for when I have to make nice with the Aristos.”

“Clever,” Rey offered.

Finn beamed charmingly. “And don’t you forget it.”

Rey watched as Finn took a little electronic concealer stick, which he hovered over the skin under her eyes.

“You need to get more sleep,” he commented before switching to the other eye.

“Nightmares,” she admitted, but it wasn’t just that, even the good dreams haunted her and made it hard to sleep.

“I know the feeling,” Finn offered as Rey realized that she didn’t really know that much about the man. She was getting closer to Rose, but there was still so much that she didn’t know about the two of them. Maybe, if things worked out, and she didn’t have to make a break for it from Takodana, she’d get to know them better.

But, somehow, she doubted it. Rey tried not to think about the future while Finn helped her with makeup. The little machine whirred cheerily in his hand while a micro-spray of cosmetics spread on her skin. After the makeup was applied, Finn blended it with the sponge before picking up a container of foundation and manually applying blotches to her skin, before smoothing that in with the sponge too.

“I remember hearing that the secret to wearing makeup is to make it look like you’re not wearing any at all, but on Coruscant, that’s bullshit. If you don’t look like you’re wearing makeup, it’s noticeable. They love their glitter, glimmer, and gloss—but it all changes with the seasons and affiliations,” he explained as he went through the laborious process which he’d eventually have to do for himself.

“This is a whole lot of bullshit, Finn.”

Finn shrugged. “It’s how they identify themselves—who they’re running with, who they support. Makeup is political in many circles, Coruscant included.”

“So, green, blue, and silver?” Rey asked while gesturing to the eyeshadow palette.

“House Organa’s ancestral colors.”

_I guess that explains my dress too, _Rey thought as Finn made his way through shadows, glosses, and glitters as he painted her face.

“The gold?”

Finn’s hand hovered in front of her face as he smiled. “Not sure. Might be from Leia’s husband’s side.”

“Red stripe on the lips?”

“To honor Naboo, I think. Part of Leia’s familial history.”

Rey sighed. “And what happens if you wear the wrong makeup?”

Finn gently grabbed her chin between his fingers and tilted her head back. “Could be taken as some sort of slight at worst, at best, it’d be embarrassing.”

“But for someone like me?”

Finn winked before reaching over to grab some shimmer. “I wouldn’t worry about it. We’re nobodies. We’ll barely warrant a second glance.”

That was actually reassuring. If she thought about it right, makeup could be used as a kind of mask because no one would recognize her the way she looked right now, she was certain. Rey stole peeks of Finn’s work as he transformed her face, and _she _barely recognized herself. The blush made her cheekbones stand out, and the eye shadows made her hazel eyes almost look green.

Just when she thought he was almost done, Finn reached over to grab a little compact and pulled out a small black disk, which he immediately tacked to her cheek.

“What’s this?” she asked as he lightly powdered her face. The mark was high on her left cheek and, if she was being honest, reminded her of Ben’s own beauty marks, which immediately annoyed her because Rey remembered again that she’d _also _have to deal with him at the event.

Finn paused and took a moment to survey his work before answering. “Hmm? That’s so they know you’re _Leia’s._”

“I thought we were supposed to be avoiding attention?”

Finn nodded. “We are, and this will help. The Senator is popular and many of her supporters will be wearing the same sort of mark on their face. In the crowd, you’d stand out without one.”

With the finishing touches of Rey’s makeup completed, Finn got to work on himself, so Rey made herself useful and went to make sure the garment droid was doing a good job of steaming their formal wear. After the droid finished, Rey laid out Finn’s clothes before taking her own glimmering dress back with her to her room.

It wasn’t much of a dress in that it was _much less _than she was used to wearing, but the layers of her skirt would hide her weapons and the slit made sure they were easily accessible. Hopefully, she wouldn’t have need of them, but it was better to plan for the worst and hope for the best.

The deep v in the front and back of her dress concerned Rey, but there was some shimmering fabric that stretched between the two pieces that should hold it all together. Rose had offered her some tacky tape that was meant to hold her all in, but the dress actually fit her body well enough without needing to stick the fabric to her skin.

Finn crossed paths with her in the middle of their suite as she went to change.

“Almost ready now,” he called over his shoulder before the door to his room slid shut.

Once she was back in her room, Rey hit the panel to close the door for some privacy. With that done, Rey slipped from her loose clothes and into the dress. She’d thought she might need Finn to help her pull all together, but she’d been able to twist herself around and do it on her own—and got it on without disturbing her hair or makeup.

Not wearing anything in the way of wrappings on her breasts was strange, but she’d at least managed to find some underwear that was serviceable because like hell she was going to work commando, the dress was distracting enough.

Sitting on the hover-chair, Rey slipped her navy, knee-high boots on and then began the arduous process of strapping in her weapons—blaster holstered high on her thigh, vibroblade in her right boot, charged pins in her hair.

And then, it was all done, and all she had to do was wait for Finn and try to control her anxiety. Rey hazarded a glance into the huge mirror in her room and she looked… well, she didn’t look bad at all! Except for the fact that she looked nothing like how she normally did.

_In another life, maybe this would have been normal? _she thought to herself, but Rey had a hard time imagining any life where this would be normal. The forest-green of her dress contrasted nicely with her rosy skin and freckles, while the silver accents along the edge of the slit drew attention to her long legs, which she wasn’t entirely comfortable with, but it’d have to do.

With a few minutes to spare, Rey popped out her datapad and connected to the ‘net, to scope out the goings-on of Coruscant and definitely not to check the gossip holos. Okay, so maybe just a quick peek to see what everyone was wearing and who was going and—

_There’s Ben Solo, _Rey thought while skimming her favorite gossip holonist—Galaxy Glitter was just a pen name, but they always seemed to have the latest gossip and, considering it had become something of an addiction for Rey, she basically owed them her life.

** _Decadent and dashing Ben Solo was caught slipping from the Royal this morning, dressed in barely more than a smile. Happy Name Day, indeed—to us! Who he was with and what he was doing last night in the infamous hotel is debatable, but we want to be the kind of sentient that has Ben Solo looking that messy in the morning. We’re open this weekend, Ben!_ **

An image of Ben, looking bedraggled and stupid hot, flickered out of the holo. Barely clothed was right! Dressed in loafers and a bloodred robe that was _only just _holding on courtesy of the tiny cinch at his waist, his hair was long, mussed, and his makeup was most definitely smudged. Whatever he’d done last night, he must have had one hell of a time. The story continued:

** _His mother, Leia Organa, was spotted near the city center preparing for Galactic Concordance Day, though a smaller, private party is expected later at Leia’s Coruscant penthouse in honor of her salacious son. Exclusive, invite-only, and you know the drill, insiders with photos are encouraged to contact me while the rest of the galaxy sits and waits to hear more!_ **

** _As ever, stay gorgeous! And if you don’t have anything nice to say, send it to us first!_ **

** _-GG out!_ **

_I wonder what Ben would think of me in this… _she started to think, but immediately cut that train of thought off. The last thing she needed was to worry about what he thought of her! He was a silly obsession, nothing else. His opinions didn’t matter. And, fortunately, Finn's voice from the other side of her door called out, asking if she was decent, which would be a sufficient distraction from more thoughts of Ben Solo.

“Come in!” Rey answered as she stood. The entrance to her room shifted open with a soft hiss and revealed her comrade.

Finn looked painfully handsome in a silver and green striped overcoat with _nothing _underneath but his shimmering, dark brown skin, which was more skin than Finn usually showed. Paired with bold, patterned pants that were in the same shade of green and silver as his jacket, a wide belt was hitched to his waist and swung as he walked. Long dark gloves reached to his elbows, and the whole look was capped off with silver boots; he looked like an Aristo.

“This is Coruscant,” he said with a shrug at Rey’s surprised look.

His makeup was perfect and with the silver highlights, his black eyes popped. He had a similar stripe on his full lips to Rey—blood red and audacious. It would make it easy for anyone to tell who their allegiance was with.

“This is Coruscant,” Rey reluctantly agreed. “Ready?”

“Better be,” Finn said with a wink.

Weapons on, datapad checked once, twice, thrice, she and Finn finally made their way towards the city center to face the rest of the Galactic Concordance Day.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I’m fucking laughing because Galaxy Glitter was just the first thing that came to my mind and then I went and typed –GG Out! And I realized that GG is the same initials as Gossip Girl, which I guess this is kind of a little homage to that in some ways so HAHAHAHAHA my brain is wild and I am very tired lol. If anyone is curious, I’m basically working my way through the Balmain 2016 Fall Menswear campaign in regard to high-fashion in this story because I love it to death. The end lol.

**Any guesses on who our illustrious galactic gossip really is?**

I’m having a little bit too much fun with this, so the chapter got a bit long but! Convenient for you that the next two are mostly worked out. Can’t wait to have some fun with Ben in the next episode—and Leia, who after years of working in politics and a certain Force-sensitivity, doesn’t miss a god damn thing. RIP Rey! Blah blah technically speaking most speeders will have auto-nav, but I'm head canoning that Finn likes to fly on his own, when possible. Any mistakes are my own, my precious.

* * *

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	5. Hidden Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's back and, scandalously, still in his walk of shame clothes as Rey and Finn meet his famous mother and get to work. Dressed in clothes that aren't hers, hair pulled, and lips tinted, Rey slips into a world that's not her own, capturing the heart and attention of the one man in the galaxy that everyone wants.

Korr Sella, Leia’s assistant, and Maz’s contact, was waiting for them on the steps of the park. Her dark hair was left loose in glossy curls that hung just at her shoulders. No dress for Korr, but her pantsuit jumper in a mossy-green, embellished with silver detailing, was just as stunning—and heels that were as sky-high as everything else in Coruscant. Her tawny skin was made up with the same kind of makeup that Finn and Rey had—Leia’s colors and markings, though Korr’s was a little more extravagant.

“Welcome to Coruscant,” she said as Finn and Rey walked towards her. Maz must have sent holopics ahead of time, that or maybe the Senator’s people had been tracking them since they entered the system and had known exactly what to expect.

“I’m Finn. This is my associate, Rey,” Finn said while extending his hand to Korr, who took it, gave it a shake, then did the same to Rey. She seemed very no-nonsense, and Rey liked that about her.

“We don’t have much time. The Senator wants to go over the particulars herself,” Korr said before gesturing to the park entrance. “Follow me,” Korr finished as Rey and Finn followed behind along the stone path.

The park was lovely and seemed to go on and on. There were flowers blooming in carefully cultivated gardens, trees that seemed to be almost too big for their roots and _lots _of people. Judging from the look of the crowd, Leia had a lot of supporters.

The park was the only green space Rey had ever seen in Coruscant and, though it was lovely, it paled in comparison to the natural beauty of Takodana. Still, she’d heard there was a big fountain with a huge, bronze statue somewhere in the park and she kind of wanted to see it.

_Maybe after the job is done… _She thought, though she doubted she’d be able to convince Finn. Once a job was done, he always wanted to get right back to Rose, which she understood. Still, Rey had no one to go back to, so a little time lingering would be a nice break from the loneliness of her room.

Korr interrupted her thoughts as she led them through the park at a brisk pace. “We’re not anticipating any trouble. Senator Organa is a popular public figure and, while there is some family history that’s controversial, she’s mostly been able to overcome that shadow.”

Rey wasn’t sure she understood what she meant by that, though she had read a bit about Leia and had heard of her before via her fierce reputation. Apparently, her family had some dark history, but the story was unclear and mostly hearsay. It had caused Leia some trouble in the Senate at one point or another, but the galaxy had moved on to whatever controversy had come next and now it was all but forgotten.

Still, it made her curious and she wondered how Ben felt about it all, which was inconvenient because she shouldn’t have been wondering _at all _about what he thought or felt or cared about.

“But beyond that?” Finn prompted.

Korr shook her head as she walked along, leading them further and further into the park. “Just another celebration in the park, with the added touch of it being her son’s birthday. Though, Senator Organa won’t speak to that during the celebration.”

“Expecting any trouble with the party afterward?” Rey asked.

“No more than usual—I mean, not particularly,” Korr recovered and Rey realized that maybe the Senator’s aide was just as aware of Ben’s antics as Rey was, and almost as annoyed by them.

That told Rey everything she needed to know. Aside from the celebration in the park, this was just another Aristo party where she’d be too bored and too pissed off, but ultimately happy that she was getting paid. They scuttled along and, after rounding a bend, a bright white obelisk-like building came into view.

Rey was fortunate that she needed to wear boots to be able to hide her vibroblade because she was quite certain she’d have killed herself in heels or broken both her ankles at the pace Korr was taking.

“This is a public building, though Senator Organa has rented it out for the day and into tomorrow. And because it’s a public building, you two are needed to keep an eye on who comes and goes as, invited or not, people always try to make their way into these kinds of parties and we want to know who’s showing up and, more importantly, why.”

“Sounds a little bit more like spying than guarding,” Rey added while Korr led them up a long staircase to the entrance.

“That’s a little bit closer to what we’re looking for. Obviously, if needed, we expect security services, but otherwise…,” she trailed off while pushing a long code into the entrance panel. The wide, metallic-looking doors shifted open, revealing another cavernous building in Coruscant, but this one was busy as people shifted in and out of view, all moving at the same brisk pace that Korr seemed to have.

“Senator Organa’s waiting in a private room. We’ll have a few minutes with her before you two will hit your posts. I’ll provide you with updated briefs momentarily as well,” Korr said, brow furrowing slightly as if she was thinking a million things a minute and, considering what she was responsible for and who she worked for, the aide probably was.

They stepped inside the building and Korr led them down a long corridor before turning down a hallway, and then another, and then another. If Rey wasn’t so good at paying attention, she’d have been totally lost. Fresh flowers seemed to bloom out of the large sunken pots that decorated the long walls of each corridor and were releasing the most pleasing smell. Rey could only imagine how much something like that would cost.

Finally, Korr stopped before one room in particular though, from the outside, it looked pretty innocuous. Another panel, another code, and the door slipped open as a voice called out from within.

“I was just about to send out a search party!”

“Sorry for keeping you waiting, Senator,” Korr replied as she stepped into the room.

“Oh, you know I’m used to waiting. Senator, and all,” Leia’s raspy voice replied while Rey took her in.

Leia was smaller than she looked on the holos, but her presence seemed to take up the room—a force to be reckoned with, for sure. Rey saw where Ben ended up getting at least some of his looks as he and his mother had similarly pale skin and dark hair, though Leia’s was streaked with lovely strands of silver. Dark, sharp eyes peered out from Leia’s face and Rey thought for a moment about all that the Senator must have seen in her life, and must still see, considering her job.

Korr introduced Rey and Finn and, after an appraising look, Leia gave a short nod, a little smile, and confided, “Maz owes me. You two will do nicely. Handy with a blaster? Wait, don’t answer that. I’m not supposed to talk about those kinds of details, so I’m told. Talk to Korr.”

Rey couldn’t help but smile at Leia’s sense of humor. Dressed in a long, deep green overcoat, Leia’s silvery dress peeked out from beneath though, unlike the silvery embellishments on Rey’s and Korr’s clothing, Leia’s cuffs and along the edge of her hem had a golden shimmer. She looked senatorial, Rey thought, like she was in charge and absolutely was not going to take shit from no one. Her makeup was more subdued than Rey’s but complimented her clothes nicely.

Rey wondered whether her hair meant anything as it was braided and piled high on her hair in an elaborate style. She also wondered whether it gave her a headache. Rey could hardly stand having her hair in anything other than loose buns or a braid, so the hairstyle she was sporting now—all smoothed and pulled in on itself, was just beginning to drive her nuts.

Korr and Leia talked to each other in hushed tones before Korr headed to a freefloater desk and retrieved some datapads and was just about to hand them over to Rey and Finn when the door to the room slid open with a soft hiss.

For a beat, there was nothing, just light shining through from the hallway until a long shadow stretched out across the floor. Leia sighed dramatically as her son slowly stepped into the room, still dressed in whatever he’d been wearing last night—which wasn’t much, truthfully. Evidently, he’d not had time to change before coming to this meeting. Rey could _not _believe that he was meeting his mother in his walk of shame clothes, assuming that's what he was returning from. Rey'd seen the gossip holo, but did anyone really _know _why he was dressed the way he was?

Rey’s mind sputtered as she flushed, realizing she was staring just a _bit _too hard at Ben, and she hoped his literal fucking mother wouldn’t notice and say anything. But Rey realized, much like Ben, there was more to Leia Organa than met the eye. Rey was quite sure she missed nothing, even if Ben pretended not to know her as he walked into the room and straight to his mother.

“You’re late,” Leia said, eyebrow raising as she stared down her son—or stared up at him, considering he towered over her. “And barely dressed.”

“And yet, you love me anyway,” he replied, beaming before stepping close and enveloping his mother in a hug. He’d pulled that scandalous robe closed since the morning and had managed to wipe the smeared makeup from his face. His hair was still tousled and, much to Rey’s ire, just made him look more handsome.

“You’re lucky it’s your birthday,” Leia said finally as they pulled apart.

“It’s your fault for having me,” he drawled as his eyebrow twitched with amusement. “Is Dad coming to the ‘celebration?’” The way he lingered on the word _celebration _made Rey think that he was anticipating anything but fun.

Leia shook her head. “You know your father. Hates crowds, and political parties even more. But he’ll be coming to your birthday party. You know, he’d never miss that.”

Ben snorted softly. “Ahh, no. He wouldn’t miss a chance to tease me on my least favorite day of the year, would he?”

“Never,” Leia agreed.

Ben sighed dramatically before taking in the rest of the room and its occupants, finally. A slow smile spread across his face as he drawled, “But I’m being impolite. You have guests, care to introduce me, Mother?”

Leia gave him a look and Rey took it to mean ‘I don’t know what game you’re playing at here, but behave’ because Rey was quite certain he normally didn’t give much of a shit about the company his mother kept, and it sure didn’t seem normal for him to ask for a formal introduction.

If anything, the love that radiated off of the two for each other surprised Rey, maybe because she’d never experienced the love of a mother like Leia, but it also warmed her heart to know that Ben was close with his mom. As much of a reprobate as he was determined to be, he couldn’t be _all bad _if he still loved his mother and had her love in return.

“Finn, I believe you have met,” Leia said knowingly, which might have caught Ben off guard as there was a slight twitch under his left eye as his mother spoke—a tick? So, his mother kept tabs on him? Rey wondered why, but the introductions had shifted to _her _so the thought fled from her mind as she became the center of their attention_._

“And this,” Leia said, hand dramatically gesturing towards Rey, “is Rey.”

Ben slowly stepped towards Rey before pulling his arm to his chest with a flourish. “Ah, Rey. What a lovely name,” he murmured as Leia stared on, eyebrow curving almost to her hairline.

Ben’s eyes locked with Rey’s as he bowed slowly, hand over his heart while he murmured, “Charmed.”

_Charmed… _The word shimmered through her as he repeated his introduction from Dev’s, the first time they met. That he _remembered _what he’d said to her at Dev’s was enough to give Rey pause. Her cheeks felt hot and she had to fight to keep her breath even as the room seemed to shrink around them both.

Ben reached out, long fingers stretching towards her as he offered his hand. Rey swallowed before sliding her hand into his, just as before, still as firm and huge against her own except, this time, she had the pleasure of her own memories coming back to haunt her. What she’d imagined those hands doing in the dark hours of night! What she’d done to herself with her own hand, pretending it was his!

Gods, it must have shown in her expression because a slow, satisfied smile spread over Ben’s face as he took her hand and placed a lingering kiss on the inside of her wrist, wickedly mimicking everything he’d done to her on their first meeting. His tongue darted out before he pulled back, the warm rush of that slick tip against her flesh made her breath catch.

This time, Rey _was _charmed and had they not been in a busy room with people, she might have shown him just how much he’d charmed her. Unfortunately, Ben pulled back as Leia coughed and went back to talking to Korr. As Ben’s hand slipped from hers, Rey felt a little bereft at the loss of contact before getting mad at herself—she was here on a job! Not to get all up in her feelings about Ben Solo!

Fortunately, the room shifted back to the anticipatory mood they’d encountered on arrival. Leia was halfway through leaving, needing to follow up with some official or another when Ben interrupted. “Mother, may I use your facilities? I need to change.”

Leia shook her head a little. “You change almost as much as I do. Korr, can you show Ben to my quarters?”

“Of course, Senator. Ben, if you please…?” Korr said while slipping a datapad into Leia’s hand before gesturing to the back entrance of the room.

Rey assumed that was it and that he’d be leaving, but Ben surprised her by turning back to her and Finn to properly excuse himself.

“If you will excuse me. I find myself short of time and I wouldn’t want to disappoint my mother on this special day by wearing this,” he said, more politely than she was used to.

_Of course, he remembers his manners around his fucking mother, _Rey thought and, though she couldn’t be quite sure, she thought she almost saw Ben’s lip quirk, as if he was holding in a laugh.

Ben bowed toward them both. “Finn, always a pleasure. Rey, lovely to make your acquaintance. And I have to say, you look resplendent in that color.”

He _had _noticed the dress and Rey couldn’t stop herself from blushing as her cheeks heated. _That _Leia must have noticed. Neither Rey nor Finn bowed back as Ben left, but Finn managed to kind of dip his head while Rey stood awkwardly and tried to forget the way his approval had made her heart clench a little, and the way his lips and tongue had felt against her skin.

“He gets it from his father,” Leia assured the room. “And his uncle. Now, Korr will work out the rest of the details with you two because I have some bigger problems to worry about.”

Rey was almost not offended at being referred to as a ‘problem’ by Leia, but she understood. Here were two more people to worry about on a day where Leia was probably worrying about thousands of people. So, they got to it.

The rest of the morning passed in a flurry of activity that had Rey’s head spinning. Finally, she was able to get to her post for the outdoor celebration and survey the surroundings, as was her directive. She and Finn were to mingle in as best they could and pass for guests, though they were acting as auxiliary security. Which meant they were both on stage-watching duty.

Though it was a public event, Korr had made it clear the real issues would be later at the party—certain politicians had been invited, while others were not, and the ones that were not weren’t very happy about it, evidently.

But, for now, she stood and eavesdropped on conversations. She could not, for the life of her, understand what it was about these Aristos that made everything into a complication. If it wasn’t perfect, then it was useless to them, and it was that excess that made her angriest.

They lived in a near-perfect world where droid and other sentients lived and sometimes died, by their whims, and they still had the gall to stand and complain when something wasn’t exactly to their liking. Eventually, a kind of hum settled over the crowd and Rey realized that the celebrations were commencing.

She looked over to her right and saw that Finn was standing at the opposite side of the stage. He gave her a nod as he caught her looking and she returned it. He looked just as bored as she. The stage was a massive stone construction, which was weird for Coruscant where everything seemed to have a metallic gleam, but Rey supposed it worked with the natural beauty of the park.

There was a staircase to the far side of Rey and it was lined with guards—Leia’s, all standing at attention as they did a good job of looking professional while they waited. Though, Rey wasn’t there to _look _professional. She was supposed to look like a guest, which was hard in its own way given how much she hated Aristos and didn’t want to look or act anything like them.

Finally, Leia made her appearance. The crowd clapped politely as she and then Ben came onto the stage. Leia smiled and waved at the crowd as she came up to the podium and Ben followed, a huge shadow behind his tiny mother.

Rey blinked in surprise as she took in his clothing. He’d changed and she and Ben now matched. Ben had changed into a robe that was the same deep green as her dress, except it was layered beneath—crisscrossing, shimmering violet fabric was folded across his chest with a white layer beyond that peeking through the waves of fabric, all cinched with a wide, silver belt. Tall, dark boots reached his knees and just kissed the front later of his clothes. When he shifted, Rey could see that he was also wearing trousers in the same dark green.

He looked like one of the main love interests from her holo-dramas. Though there were flashes of the decadent Aristo she’d grown accustomed to seeing on the gossip holos, and in the high-society fashion spreads. The man that stared out over the crowd looked almost demure by comparison, especially next to his petite and vibrant mother.

Leia Organa was a force in the galaxy, with a personality to match. Even on Jakku, Rey remembered hearing about _her, _fearsome leader, ruthless in the Senate, hated by the scum of the galaxy—so not very popular on her backwater home.

But the more Rey had read about Leia Organa, the more she came to respect her. The senator had lost so much, but continued to fight for what she believed in and seemed to be able to rally anyone to a cause. She was a symbol of strength in a sometimes-chaotic galaxy. How she’d ended up with a son like Ben Solo, Rey wasn’t able to guess, but she thought that maybe her former-smuggler husband might have had something to do with it.

_You should ask him, he might enjoy telling you,_ a little voice inside suggested before Rey could clamp it down. She _did _want to know more about him and she _was _just a little bit obsessed with him, if her search histories were anything to go by. But learning about his past would only guarantee one thing, that Rey’d become even _more _obsessed, and she’d probably get emotionally attached, and that was literally the last thing in the galaxy she needed.

At least, it was what she kept telling herself, but watching as Ben stood by his mother’s side, smiling placidly at the crowd as they celebrated Galactic Concordance Day, he almost looked… well, like a prince. Almost like one from her dreams, if she was telling the truth and, as she stared at him, sun shining down on him, dark hair shimmering in the light as he seemed to pick out a face in the crowd to wave to, there was something almost familiar about Ben Solo.

Like something out of a dream. But like a dream, the moment she tried to hold onto the thought, it fled from her mind and Rey realized she was daydreaming when she was meant to be watching the crowd for signs of unrest, but the day slowly dragged on without incident.

There were speeches. Lots of clapping. Some medals were exchanged. Lives lost honored and speeches, not just Leia, but other senators and dignitaries from around the galaxy, though, especially the core worlds.

Honestly, it was mostly the core worlds that anyone ever gave a shit about. Once you got too far away from the core, it was near lawless, which some people liked. Every once in awhile, Rey would indulge her fantasies and think about what it would be like to actually live in a city like Coruscant—the upper levels, clearly.

What would it be like to not have to worry about being safe? Or having enough food? Or having a place to live for the long-term? It was a dream. And one that Ben seemed to be living. Her ire and, honestly, jealously must have been palpable because finally, after about an hour of standing near the front, hand on her hip in case her hidden blaster was needed, he noticed her.

Rey’s breath caught as his eyes found her. His gaze skimmed over her, took in every inch of what she was wearing before rising again to hold her stare. She knew somehow that he’d been wanting to do that since he first saw her in his mother’s study, and that made her feel powerful.

A slow smile spread across his face. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, a gesture she unconsciously mimicked. She’d kissed that mouth, more than once. Today, his makeup was made up in the colors of Naboo—deep reds trimmed in gold and black.

His full lips were painted white except for a red stripe painted in the middle. It reminded Rey of how he’d looked when she’d first seen him at Dev’s—indolent, lazy, but hiding a keen mind and sharp eyes. It also made her realize that he must have held his matrilineage in some regard because he seemed to borrow fashion cues from Naboo, where his grandmother had been from.

She knew entirely too much about him now, but it was interesting to keep picking up little details. Truth be told, it was what kept her alive. His lips mouthed her name and she could feel her cheeks heating as she hurriedly looked away. The last thing she needed was for anyone to notice her, and he did nothing but attract attention considering _everyone_ was interested in what he was doing and who he was doing it with.

By the time Rey worked up the nerve to look at the stage again, Ben was missing, his mother was finished with her speech and the crowd was slowly dispersing, which meant it was time for Rey to play the shadow game. Leia had a personal security detail, so Rey and Finn were there for spying, support, and to keep their eyes and ears open for any sort of issues.

So far, it had been quiet, aside from Rey’s own internal monologue where she kept chastising herself for both not paying enough attention to the stage, and therefore Ben Solo, and paying _too much _attention to the stage, and therefore Ben Solo. It was good that he left. She’d been way too distracted by him anyway, when she was there to make sure nothing happened to his mother.

Leia and her entourage moved indoors. The festivities started with light dining and drinks before dinner was served in the main hall. Of course, Finn and Rey stood guard while all the Aristo’s ate, but it was fine. Rey had been stuffing her cheeks with puffy cakes and other snacks since the waitdroids started making their rounds, so she was good and Rey knew Finn was smart enough to do the same.

Dinner was long, tedious, featured way too many courses and Rey had to bite her cheek to keep from voicing her outrage over the still mostly full plates that made their way back to the kitchens.

_Stupid fucking wasteful Aristos, _she fumed internally, while trying to maintain a placid look on her face. She hoped it worked. A few times, Ben looked over to where her and Finn were positioned—close enough to the entrance to keep tabs, but not close enough that they drew much attention. She wondered what he was thinking, but before she could catch his eye, he’d look back and talk to some nearby Aristo, and she was invisible once more.

The night dragged on. Dinner finished and everyone moved to the main hall where dancing and other celebrations were meant to take place. For the most part, this party was unbearably dull, even with the free snacks. Not like the typical Aristo affairs Rey had experience with—no available spice, _definitely _no orgies, no drama. People were drinking sensibly, talking in hushed, polite tones, basically acting like adults and it was all so...

“Boring?” A familiar voice startled Rey from her appraisal of the event.

“I don’t know how you stand it,” Rey replied before turning to look into the unbearably handsome face that had been haunting her dreams.

Up close, she could make out the flecks of purple shimmering against his skin and she wondered whether that was part of his signature look, or maybe it was his own signature color? She wouldn’t ask, but given that he _always _seemed to get purple glitter on her, some way or another, she was beginning to suspect it has some significance.

“You get used to it after a few decades,” he assured her with a wry smile. “Drink?”

Ben offered her a glass of bubbly wine. She shook her head. “I learned my lesson.”

“I promise, this one isn’t drugged.”

“But I still think it’d be best to have a clear head for this,” Rey said before shifting away from him, eyes back on the party. She thought it was a clear dismissal, but Ben, it seemed, only ever did exactly what he wanted.

Rey made out the faintest touch, the pad of his finger trailing ever so softly along her spine. His touch was electric and it took everything she had not to shiver, not to whimper, not to show exactly how much she’d missed that touch and how she desperately wanted more.

“You’re the worst,” she managed, words breathier than she’d have liked.

Ben let out a low chuckle. “But that’s why you love me.”

Rey huffed. “Whatever you say, Solo,” she said, trying to ignore him and watch the boring as hell party. It wasn’t working well, especially since his scent had managed to work its way closer, invading her senses with that dark lusciousness that was his alone.

Finally, she worked up her courage and told him what she’d should have said from the start, “You need to leave.”

“Eventually.”

“Not eventually, right now,” she added firmly.

Ben sighed and, to her surprise, relented a little. “Fine, sweetness. I really can’t deny you anything.”

She didn’t know what he meant by that, but she was both satisfied that he was leaving and sad that he was. But it was for the best, right? Just when she thought he was going to take his leave, he leaned in, close enough that only she could hear him and asked softly, “Maybe you and I can have a little fun later? See if you can find your way through the layers of my robes? Gods know, I’ll have an easy enough time with you in _that _dress.”

Rey choked in a breath, rounded on Ben and was about to get angry when she looked up into his eyes realized he was tooling with her. The ass. He was teasing her to perk her up. Maybe he did know her better than she thought?

“Fun? With you? Not bloody likely,” she replied with a snort. Ben laughed. He _liked _her ire and seemed to appreciate her candor. It was… well, if she was being honest, it was refreshing to have someone appreciate for her she was, really, and not who she normally pretend to be.

So much of her life was filled with pretending, mostly to keep herself safe, or from being discovered by the many, many people who were hunting her, but it was also tiresome. And to be herself, even if it was with someone like Ben Solo… it felt comforting. And that he seemed to realize this thawed just a little bit of the icy, protective shell that Rey had built up over her shattered heart.

“Chin up, smuggler. There’s still singing and cake to come,” Ben said with a pained expression.

“Singing?”

“For my Name Day.”

“Which means…”

“…You all get to stand around while I stand in the middle and everyone sings a song for my Name Day.”

“Which you hate?”

Ben grimaced. “Which I hate.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I figured it would help brighten your up your mood, and it seems to have worked. You’re practically glowing.”

Rey couldn’t suppress her smile. “Okay, so maybe imagining you have to stand there and listen to all these ancient and boring Aristos as they sing you a Name Day song makes for a pretty funny image.”

“Welcome to my life,” Ben drawled.

“Sounds hellish,” Rey offered.

“Indeed.”

“Are there going to be candles on your cake?” she wondered.

“Undoubtedly.”

“How many?”

Ben winked. “It’s rude to ask and, besides, don’t the gossip holos list my age, weight, measurements? Certainly, not _all _of my measurements,” he assured her.

Rey coughed as her cheeks flushed. Just how the fuck did he know she read gossip holos about him? Well, regardless, the last thing she was going to do was admit it.

“I’m sure I don’t know anything about you that hasn’t been gleaned from either first-hand information, or for what I need to know for the job,” she replied, tartly.

A slow smile spread across her face at the lie. “Of course,” he purred.

And if she thought he was going to be deterred by her ire, she was sorely mistaken as Ben stepped closer, stared down at her, and paused for a beat as if he expected she’d step back. She didn’t. Rey too stepped closer, rising to whatever challenge he seemed intent on giving, except he didn’t tease her, or even try to tempt her.

Ben reached out slowly, hand coming up to trace over her cheek before settling gently against the side of her face. He touched her with a strange kind of reverence, almost as if he was surprised that she let him touch her at all. And, really, had he been anyone else, they’d have been sporting a broken fucking arm, but for Ben… Rey had to resist the urge to purr as his thumb softly traced along the curve of her jaw.

“You look…,” he started, but stopped himself from finishing whatever he was going to say.

“Hmm?” Rey managed while softly pressing into his touch. Was he going to tease her about the dress? Or maybe he liked it? She knew he liked the color, at least. She hated how much she wanted him to like it and how much his opinion was coming to mean to her. As if she did anything solely for _his _approval, but still…

Ben’s eyes traced over her, hitching on the low cut of her dress before sliding down to the high slit of the skirt.

“Packing?”

“Of course,” Rey barely managed to reply.

Ben’s lip quirked. “That’s my girl.”

Rey glared, but it was half-hearted. She was just about to tease him back when someone called his name. Ben sighed, broad chest expanding and contracting as his shimmering eyelids slid shut. It seemed like if the last thing he wanted was to go answer whoever it was wanted his attention.

“Till we meet again,” he said softly before taking his hand back.

His touch lingered on her skin as he stepped away and long after he was gone. Quick as a Loth-cat he turned her mood and her world upside down. It was dangerous—_he _was dangerous, and her curiosity about him was dangerous too. But why? What was it about this Aristo that tempted and repelled her so much, especially when her good sense was, more often than not, fleeing as soon as he stepped into view?

Rey groaned softly before getting back to her job. It was going to be a long night.

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Author's Notes:

Hey, I've got the flu lol so if there are any mistakes, you can blame the flu monster. Rating is definitely going up next chapter bc it's getting spicy :) BEN'S BACK BENNNNNNN'S BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Said to the tune of that kid in Hook lol. I missed Ben. 

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	6. In The Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben gets his birthday cake as Rey finds herself in a spot of trouble in the garden.

For most of the evening, a multi-species band had been playing quiet, but upbeat music that didn’t so much as compete with the din from the crowd as complement it, which was quite the feat considering how much and how loudly Aristos _loved _to hear the sound of their own voices.

Standing around and waiting for something to happen had to be at the top of Rey’s list for shit she didn’t enjoy. Get in, get the job done, get out—that was her style. But there was no “getting the job done” when the job was to stand around and make sure nothing bad happened to a bunch of rich people. Just a whole lot of standing, waiting, and fighting boredom.

Though, Rey did have to give it to Leia, or Korr, or whoever had coordinated the food for the party because the food that she’d been able to snag was _exceptional, _so Rey had that going for her. Finn, for his part, looked as bored as she from his post across the room. Occasionally, they’d signal to each other, checking in to make sure nothing was up. Both of them had covert comms, but it was better not to reveal that unless necessary.

After dinner, people started dancing, which wasn’t as unpleasant to watch as Rey had thought it would be. Some people were even great dancers, Ben included, though he didn’t seem to be interested in going out of his way to dance.

If his mother insisted, he’d take on a partner and Rey, doing her best to watch him dance without making it look like she was watching, would stare on as he’d sweep them through an Alderaanian waltz, or other dances that he must have learned due to his upbringing and status. Rey wondered what it was like to have the time to master such things.

The only dance Rey knew how to do was the Corellian Cheek-Step, which was a whole lot of ass movement and not much else. No one here did any sort of ass wiggling, Corellian or otherwise. She smothered a laugh with her hand while thinking about how scandalized these Aristos would be to see her strut out onto the dancefloor, hike her skirts up, and move her ass. It probably wasn’t _that _funny, but she was _really _bored, except for the few times Ben was dragged onto the dancefloor.

Then she was rightly entranced. For a tall man, he was remarkably light on his feet and moved through the beat of the music as if he could feel it in his soul. And she was far from the only person in the room to notice. Dancing like this wasn’t common outside of the upper echelons of Aristocratic circles, so to see someone so proficient was a real treat for many.

And not everyone had a pedigree like Ben Solo. With several generations of royalty adding to his bloodline, he really _was _the galaxy’s prince and, sometimes, when the mood hit him or if his mother was there, apparently, it _really _showed. A few times, as he spun around this partner or that, he’d catch Rey’s eye and almost smile. Of course, he caught staring.

_Like what you see, Smuggler? _his expression seemed to say.

Rey immediately glared right back. _You look like a dancing chicken, _she thought to herself, just in case he _could _make out her thoughts.

No reaction to that from Ben, so either he was back to pretending to be interested in whatever his partner was saying, or he really _couldn’t _read her mind, but like to make her think he could. And, truthfully, he looked divine and she not so secretly hated him for it.

No matter the size or species of his partner, Ben was able to seamlessly lead them through whatever dance they happened to be doing. It was kind of brilliant and Rey had to wonder whether a skill like that would have any practical applications, like with fighting, for one.

_I can think of a few ways that attention to detail and ability to… lead a partner would have some practical applications... _her mind not so helpfully supplied before she could stop herself. Unfortunately, this time, whether summoned or just because Rey seemed to be perpetually committed to embarrassing herself in front of Ben, he again caught her eye.

_This time, _he was grinning, much to the pleasure of his _obviously _enamored dance partner—a rather stout Lasat male who was, quite literally, allowing Ben to sweep him into his arms and across the dancefloor. She couldn’t keep the blush from her cheeks, which was a _dead _giveaway that she’d been thinking about him. And it was obvious he knew and loved it.

Rey sighed audibly from her position—half hidden by a thick drape near the exit, right by the food. One of the serving droids tipped its head at her but said nothing. Rey was sure the droids were more than used to moody humans. Taking a deep breath to clear her thoughts, she tried to concentrate on the room and not on who Ben was dancing with or what he was doing.

Eventually, as promised, the night shifted and eventually, the name day boy was brought front and center by his parents. Han Solo had shown up late, and as much as Leia seemed to be annoyed by this, Rey could also tell that it was expected. He was handsome, the old general, and tall like his son, though Ben shared his mother's pale, white skin, while Han's ruddy complexion looked as if he'd spent decades chasing the galaxy's many suns. Leia’s husband towered over her much in the same way as her son did.

Han didn’t smile much, not like Leia and Ben, but his smirks and quirks had definitely been picked up by his son, who also had the good fortune to have a mother who was great at putting on a show and a smile. Han stepped over to where his son was sitting, almost sullen, and gave Ben’s shoulder a tight squeeze as if he was commiserating.

As much as Ben was _always _in the spotlight, Rey had to wonder how much of that he enjoyed because, watching him sit there, he looked like he was dreading what was yet to come. Leia stepped out from behind her family’s table and signaled to Korr, who nodded before quickly stepping over to the band. On cue, the music started up and _everyone _seemed to have been anticipating this because the guests broke out into song together. Leia waved to Ben, who grudgingly came to stand beside his mother.

It was the most put out that Rey had ever seen him, and she couldn’t even properly enjoy it because the _noise _from the room was truly terrible. Rey scrunched her nose as the Aristos sang their way through the happy name day song. They weren’t great singers, by any stretch of the imagination, and Ben had a plastered-on smile as he pretended not to be _rightly _offended by this, truthfully, awkward as fuck display. No wonder he looked put out.

A cake, with glittering enhancements, floating on a glowing serving platter, was shifted towards Ben. There were lots of lights, but no candles, so Rey assumed Leia was doing the kind thing and not bringing attention to his age. Though Ben was right, Rey _did _know his age, and it was because of the gossip holos. Ben Solo was turning 30, as was the Galactic Concordance.

She wondered whether it bothered him—some people got hung up on their age. Truthfully, as a child, she never really thought she’d make it anywhere close to her thirties, so getting close was more of a shock than anything else. And, besides, with the galaxy at his fingertips, Rey assumed he could pay for youthful enhancements if he needed it, and he didn’t.

Once the song was over, Ben made _quite _the show of extinguishing all the lights on his cake with a wave of his hand. Rey gasped at the display as scattered clapping and enthusiastic cries sounded from the room as he reminded them all that, not only was he descended from royalty but _Jedi_. Rey assumed that most of the room thought it was some parlor trick, but she’d been around the galaxy enough to realize the truth when she was seeing it. Moreover, she’d _felt _strange things from Ben.

It wasn’t like his family history was hidden, or anything, but no one seemed to care for what Ben was aside from the drama that seemed to hover around him. Maybe that was intentional? Not everyone was comfortable with or even _liked _the Jedi, though they’d mostly been relegated to myth. But in some far off reaches of the galaxy, they were still very real, and very much a source of fear and awe.

Ben returned to sit beside his father as a droid floated the cake away for cutting, and Rey signaled to Finn that she was going to leave her post to find the ‘fresher. Though Korr had given her a datapad with all the relevant rooms, exits, and pathways, she was still a little unsure of where exactly it was.

Rey slipped from the room, listening to the hum of conversation as she moved—some in basic, but there was a mixture of other languages as she strode by. She understood a few. She was mostly self-taught or taught by proximity and necessity, but translation enhancements were something that she’d considered before. Maybe, if she was going to be spending more time in and around these kinds of people, she’d invest in the bodymod.

_Two rights, three lefts, fifth door, _she thought to herself as she tried to find the ‘fresher as quickly as possible. Fortunately, a group of sentients made their way out of a sizable doorway after retouching their makeup, and Rey stepped in the large room. It was more of a meeting place than a place to do your business, but Rey knew that ‘freshers were also a great place for gossip, so as she slipped into a stall to relieve herself, she also eavesdropped.

And, not surprisingly, most of the gossip was about Ben Solo.

_So handsome…_

_I hear he has the biggest… fortune—lots of giggling and laughing._

Comments about his height, hair, clothes, his dancing, who he might be interested in dating next, so basically all useless to Rey except for the fact that it satisfied her endless curiosity about Ben and, though she wasn’t about to admit it, made her just a little jealous. Which was so silly, he was no more hers than she was his, but still…

After some awkward maneuvering in her dress, Rey finished her business and stepped out into the cavernous ‘fresher. There was a large fountain in the middle of the room that gurgled cheerily as people moved throughout, as well as a seating area with plush furniture that more than a few slightly inebriated sentients were using to gossip in low tones to each other.

Realizing that she wasn’t going to get anything of substance from these people, Rey made her way to one of several large basins and slipped her hands under the running sani-water. It wasn’t until she was leaving that she finally heard something worth listening to.

_“I don’t know where they’re from, but they certainly don’t look friendly!” _Rey heard from down the hallway to her right—which should have led towards the garden area, if her memory served.

_“Let’s get back to the party, my dear,” _another voice added and, by the time Rey rounded the corner to see who was there, the couple had departed. It was probably for the best. If there was anything unsavory going on, the last thing Rey needed was a bunch of Aristos screaming and fainting and otherwise getting in the way about it.

A manual door was conveniently propped open, and Rey wondered whether the scared Aristos had slipped out to have some sort of tryst before realizing that they weren’t alone. Rey quietly stepped into the garden, and the sound of flowing water greeted her ears. It was dark, and only the light from inside was providing any sort of visibility at all.

_These Aristos and their fountains… _Rey thought to herself before focusing. _Those two were definitely heading out here to have some fun._ _But who did they find?_

Rey crept into the garden and into the shadows to keep from giving away her position. What little there was flickered every so often as a guest inevitably walked by the exit. Shifting along some thick hedges, Rey managed to find the fountain which was bigger than she’d expected.

Some sort of scantly clad sentient was trapped in a passionate embrace with another as water flowed down both of their bodies. In the light, and under different circumstances, it would be lovely. For now, it was going to give her some _lovely cover_ as she peeked around the fountain.

She made out a small gazebo where a group stood huddled together in the low light. They were talking too quietly for her to be able to hear.

_Syndicate goons? _Rey worried. She did not need more Syndicate goons in her life. She’d pissed off more than her fair share, and her last run-in with Crimson Dawn had almost cost Rey her life. Still, she could listen for a bit and then get the fuck out and find some backup, right?

_Let’s just take a closer listen… _She thought while her head inched around the sculpted bodies of the fountain. The sentients in the gazebo were humanoid—definitely male. And armed. Why the fuck were they armed and what were they doing at this party? She had the presence of mind to wonder whether they were more hired muscle, but something didn’t seem right. Rey had a second sense when it came to bullshit, and she knew these men weren’t at the party to provide support.

She should have commed Finn before going in alone, but Rey still hadn’t quite gotten used to the whole “having backup,” thing. She’d gone it alone for so long that she’d gotten used to only relying on herself. And, besides, what was a little covert recon? It’s not like she’d do anything stupid. Get close, have a little listen, then scoot out and alert Korr and Finn to whatever these men had planned.

Rey ducked back behind the fountain and took a look around. If she wanted to be able to hear them, she’d need to get closer to where they were holed up. Fortunately, there was a table and chair set pushed close enough into the hedges that she could get closer and probably not be seen—if she was smart and quiet about it.

Gathering the fabric of her skirt and slipping low, Rey inched over to the perimeter of the garden, paying attention to where light from the interior flickered out onto the garden. For the second time that day, Rey thanked herself for deciding to wear boots. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to do recon in _heels._

The men shuffled as she moved, but didn’t seem to notice her presence and now she was close enough to make out their conversation, which was mostly them standing around complaining about waiting around for…

_Who are they waiting for?_

They avoided saying any names, but whoever they were meeting must have been someone important for them to risk getting caught by Leia’s guards. Or maybe this was some sort of power play? Wouldn’t be unlike one of the Syndicates to send in some men to remind the Aristos who had the _real _power in Coruscant.

After a few minutes of ducking around garden furniture and getting a whole lot of nothing from the three men, Rey decided to do the sensible thing and head back inside to alert Korr and Finn. And it would have been fine, had the hem of her stupid fucking dress on caught on the edge of one of the garden chairs without her noticing.

So, instead of making a hasty and quiet escape, her dress pulled at the small chair and yanked it across the stone ground with a discernable _scrape._

_Perfect. I’m gonna fucking die, _she thought as three heads snapped up and looked right at her. Whatever she’d caught them doing, they did _not _look happy about being caught.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck! _She cursed before giving the lengths of her dress a vicious tug, finally freeing it, but ripping it in the process.

_Fucking dresses! _she thought before starting to panic. This was bad. So, _so_ fucking bad.

One of the men, the big one, built a bit like a battledroid, leered and grinned at her before walking over, slowly, like he had all the time in the world. It was meant to frighten her. She knew how these kinds of assholes worked. And considering she was in a fucking dress, alone and vulnerable, it was _working._

“Looks like we have a little spy!” he said finally, stopping close enough that she could make out the cybernetic enhancements—the glint of his unnatural gaze, the metallic shimmer along his cheek and running the length of his arms. Rey was _not _prepared to deal with something like this alone.

Mustering up her best acting abilities, Rey decided to play dumb. A huge, fake smile in place, she stood and fluttered her eyelashes, dipping her head as she feigned innocence. “Spy? I’m lost. This palace is much too big and I’ve gotten all turned around!”

The man in front of her snorted while his cohorts chuckled darkly. “Is that so?”

“Of course, have you seen this place?” Rey asked before gesturing vaguely with her arm, as if to say, _Well, just look at it!_

The man cocked his head and stared at her, probably scanning her with his cybernetics, which meant he knew she was lying and could detect the blaster and vibroblade she was packing. His blueish skin almost shimmered as he took her in, his smile splitting into a fearsome grin as he found what he was looking for.

He stepped closer and Rey took a step back as the man laughed. “That blaster you’ve got hidden tells me you’re a liar. And do you know what we do to liars?”

Jeering laughs from the other syndicate members reached her ears as Rey tried to decide between pulling out her blaster or making a run for the exit. She was outgunned and outnumbered. In this situation, she’d generally fall back, but there wasn’t much room and if she didn’t make a decision quickly, this male was going to make it for her.

Rey’s body shifted, hand sliding down to connect with her blaster, as she decided to make a proper last stand, and just as her foot slipped out and she went to pivot, she slammed _hard _into something warm and solid. A hand came up to steady her as an all too familiar presence made itself known.

“I think it’s about time you three found someone else to play with,” rumbled the deep and quite obviously pissed off voice of Ben Solo.

Rey couldn’t see Ben’s face, but he held her tight against his front as they both stared down the goon. Ben’s fingers danced over her skin, softly caressing her collarbone before indolently curling against the base of her neck. It felt possessive—his big, broad body around hers felt like a claiming. Rey realized he _was _making his intentions known to these men.

_She’s mine. _A wild kind of energy radiated out of Ben’s body and Rey wondered whether she was imagining it, or feeling his rage. It was uncanny, but instead of making her feel more afraid, it made her feel… almost elated. The dark power rolled off of him in waves and curled around her, seductive and protective.

_Don’t fuck with what’s mine, _that power seemed to be saying. And Rey held her breath, hand frozen on her blaster, body tight as a spring against Ben’s, as she waited for what these would-be party crashers chose to do next.

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Author Notes: Hihihihihihi, Been bad sick guys, and combined with other family concerns, work, and general anxiety about… ohhhhhh you know what, been a bad time for having fun with fic. At any rate, the next chappy needs to be edited, and I’m going to be focusing on this for April Campnano, so hopefully can get some sort of a regular update schedule going. Anyway, thanks for reading and for your patience and thanks for all the lovely comments and kudos. Stay safe, stay healthy, hugs to you all. Hoping for the best 😊 If anyone gets my KotoR ref/joke in this, I’ll love you forever (also this chap was like 10k long, so I had to break it up into pieces, gotta raise the rating next chap, for reals for reals this time).

Spoiler for next chapter: **THICK THIGHS SAVE LIVES.**

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**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend, give this a [lil reblog](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/post/612963452033630208/pacificwanderer-butterscotch-goddamn-by)/[retweet](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1/status/1240412818756603905?s=20) or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading!**

**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom [@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media for 2020 :)**


	7. Two Of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben finds a handy solution to the goon squad and things get heated in a supply closet.

_ *****Please note the story rating has switched from M to E :) If you're not into that, you're welcome [to follow this story on FFnet](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13458634/1/Butterscotch), where I've edited it for that site.** _

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_She’s mine. A wild kind of energy radiated out of Ben’s body and Rey wondered whether she was imagining it, or feeling his rage. It was uncanny, but instead of making her feel more afraid, it made her feel… almost elated. The dark power rolled off of him in waves and curled around her, seductive and protective._

_Don’t fuck with what’s mine, that power seemed to be saying. And Rey held her breath, hand frozen on her blaster, body tight as a spring against Ben’s, as she waited for what these would-be party crashers chose to do next..._

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Ben held her tight against his body, his heat seeping through the open back of her dress, warming her skin as he stood behind her and stared down the man before them.

“I think you three are in the wrong place. It’s time to leave, isn’t it?” Ben asked, voice so cold and full of menace that it even sent a shiver of fear through Rey. This was not the playful, careless Aristo she was used to dealing with.

A small voice inside reminded her that he _was _the son of a senator and a general, both war heroes, but there was something else simmering beneath that also made her pause. It was time to find out more about Ben than what the gossip holos provided, that was for certain.

Her would-be assailant twisted his lips indignantly before spitting to the side. Rey knew exactly what he thought of this whole situation, and he was not happy. His bluish lips parted, and Rey tensed as she waited for the male to tell Ben exactly what he thought of his demands, but before he could say anything, Ben’s hand snapped off her chest, palm out, fingers extended.

“You’re in the wrong place. Your message was received. It’s a waste of time to be here now,” Ben crooned, the tenor of his voice hypnotic as the male’s face went slack. A tremor ran through Rey at Ben’s words. Somehow, power flowed through him and into that declaration. It was more than just a demand, Rey could _feel _the insistence in what he said, the careful suggestion that could not be denied as he took control of the situation with some unseen power.

_Is this magic…The power of the Force? _she wondered. Was _that _what she’d felt from him? The goon before them shook his head and distracted Rey from her thoughts.

The man rubbed a meaty, blue-colored palm over his tech-altered face, jaw slack as he stood and stared into the distance before muttering, “We’re in the wrong place… It’s a waste of time to be here.” He sounded like he was coming out of a daze and looked confused.

Ben gestured again, long fingers reaching out before curling subtly as he urged, “It’s time to leave. You need to run along now.”

The goon shook his head a little before blinking slowly as he gave a lethargic nod. And Rey stared as, finally, the man stood down.

_Why the fuck did that work? Just how the fuck did Ben pull this off? _she thought to herself as Ben continued to stand at her back.

For whatever reason, the male wasn’t willing to push the issue with Ben and seemed to be taking a step back—one halting step, and then another, before turning to face his group.

“We’re leaving,” the goon managed, ignoring the confused looks and grumbles from the males he was with.

And then, much to her surprise, they _left. _Rey was suddenly quite suspicious of Ben's abilities. Maybe there was a logical explanation for how easily he’d been able to dispatch the goons?

_Like what? That he’s just so intimidating that they ran off scared? Of an unarmed Aristo? Yeah, fucking right._

Rey sighed softly before stepping away and turning towards Ben. She didn’t even know what the hell to say. Thank you? She probably should thank him, but she was feeling so uncharitable. Who was he to waltz in and save the day all the time? And, besides, she’d probably have been fine on her own, even if a little voice in her head chimed in that she really might not have been okay this time.

Ben shook his head, long dark locks falling into his eyes as he took her in.

“What?” she grumbled.

“How do you always manage to get yourself into trouble, Smuggler?” he asked, lips quirking as his eyes traveled down the length of her body—ripped dress, leg exposed, hand on her blaster. “And always so quick to reach for that thing.”

“How do you always manage to _find _me, even when I’m trying not to be found by you?”

Ben huffed softly. “Luck. Pure dumb luck.”

Yeah, she didn’t believe that at all.

“Well, I’m going to head back to my—” Rey started, but Ben reached out and took her hand, startling her into silence as he urged her to follow him.

“C’mon.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere private.”

“Somewhere private, _why?_”

“So, we can talk.”

“Talk?” Rey chirped back. “What could you possibly need to talk to me for?”

A loaded expression flashed across his face and Rey realized that he was holding his tongue, which only irritated her more. She liked him. She hated him. She wanted to be around him. She wanted to be away from him. He was too confusing and it, more often than not, just made Rey frustrated with herself, which also drew out her anger.

Still, he managed to mind his manners, even though Rey was being difficult. “Please, it would honor me if you’d do me the pleasure of spending a moment of your time with me.”

“In private?” Rey finished.

“In private,” he agreed softly.

Rey sighed before giving his hand a little squeeze. “Let’s hurry then. Before your mother or Korr send out a search party for me—I am on the clock, you know?”

“I know,” he assured her. “This shouldn’t take long and, if you get in trouble, I’ll take the blame.”

Rey didn’t have the patience to tell him that, even if he _did _take the blame, no one would fault an Aristo over a nobody like her. Aristo's were _never _accountable for anything. But still, she let him lead her out from the garden and further into the expansive building. Ben seemed to be searching for a place to take her and, after finding three locked panels, he finally found one that popped open without a passcode. Ben pulled her inside and hit the panel to close them in before really taking a good look around at where they were.

“This is a supply closet,” Rey deadpanned as her eyes adjusted to the sparse light.

Ben blinked before laughing softly. “Evidently. It’ll serve.”

“For what?”

“Well, I needed to get you away from prying eyes so I can keep you out of trouble while we deal with your obvious attraction to me and your proclivity for getting into trouble to draw my attention.”

“Excuse you? What does my—I mean, I’m _not _attracted to you! I didn't even know where you were! And, I was doing just fine until you came along!” she growled.

“Is that right? Was that before or after you alerted those thugs to your presence by managing to trip over garden furniture?” he asked, lips quirking with the smile he couldn’t contain.

Rey hissed through her teeth. She was pissed and embarrassed that he’d seen her fuck up like that. “I’d have figured it out,” she grated.

Ben hummed thoughtfully. “Of that, I have no doubt. But I do have some concerns as to whether you’d have made it out of there without blaster holes in your lovely dress—though, maybe they would match the rip?”

Rey glared down at the offensive skirt, slit obscenely high on her leg. She’d have to hold it closed for the rest of the evening to avoid showing off her blaster holster. Of _course, _he gave a shit about how her clothes looked, the vain, pompous Aristo that he was.

“But come now, enough about your dishabille, and back to what matters,” he purred.

“And what the hell is that?” Rey asked while glaring up at his handsome face.

This close, she could see the little cosmetic enhancements better. The glimmer of jewels webbing across his lush, dark hair. Moles darkened and highlighted against his pale skin. His lush painted lips, with that audacious pop of red set against white. She was growing fond of the faint violet shimmer that he seemed to favor. Ben’s dark long lashes fanned against his skin as he slowly blinked while looking down at her. Rey couldn’t even properly glare at him, he was so close to her.

_Has he always been this tall? _She wondered as she tried to harness her anger and keep her wits about her.

“Why, dealing with your unruly attraction to me, of course.”

“I’m. Not,” she growled, jaw clenched as she fought for restraint. She was, and they both knew it, but Rey wasn’t interested in making anything easy for a man who’d likely gotten used to everything in life being far too easy for him. He was going to have to work for it if he wanted the truth.

Ben smiled as if he knew her plan and was relishing the challenge. “That’s a lie. Look at you, smuggler. Your lips are plush and slick, your cheeks are flushed, you’re panting. And you can’t take your eyes off of me.”

“It’s dark in here! And it’s cramped. And I was scared, and now I’m angry!”

His lips curled into a smile. “It’s alright. I can’t take my eyes off of you either,” he admitted, shocking her into silence.

She should be angry, should bust out and let Finn and Korr know about the goons, but she was in a closet with Ben Solo—and why were they in the closet, anyway? The goons had practically run out of the garden after Ben’s little magic show, or whatever he did, so it wasn’t like they needed to hide from _them_.

_The gossip holos…_ Rey thought. Yeah, the last thing she needed was to get caught up in Aristo drama, so maybe it was for the best that Ben had pulled them both away from where they could potentially be seen.

But it was more than that. She’d gone with him because there was something strange about his presence, an uncanny feeling she hadn’t felt since… No. He was not special to her. He was just super hot, strangely interested in her, and had kissed Rey senseless the last time he’d seen her. And, besides, the only sentients she ever got attention from were goons, spice smugglers or worse.

Rey mused that she’d upgraded from attracting thugs to attracting spoiled princes. Most other women would be thrilled, but given that she didn’t trust him and knew exactly how Aristos treated their social inferiors, she was smart enough to keep her distance—emotionally! Physically, she couldn’t possibly be any closer to him, at least, it was what she thought until his hand reached out and gently traced along the curve of her cheek.

“Tell me the truth, Rey,” he murmured as she swallowed thickly.

She wanted to; it was so strange. Normally, lying was second nature to her and something that came as a result of her dangerous job and her past. But with him… she hated it. It was like they had some sort of strange connection and she couldn’t pinpoint why it felt wrong to lie to him.

They couldn’t have been more different. Yet, here he was. In a closet with her, making up reasons to be close to her. He was too much. Where she’d spent years spent honing first her scavenging skills and then her smuggling abilities, he’d spent years honing his skill set.

_Seduction. Subterfuge. _Rey could only guess at what kind of life this man led. His attention was dangerous and drew eyes when all she needed and wanted was to blend in and do her job without being seen. She was a ghost in the galaxy and for good reason. Not everyone wanted her alive and she’d made enough enemies—enemies that still tracked her—to know her fears weren’t unfounded.

And with Crimson Dawn on the rise… Rey needed to play her cards right. Make a bunch of credits and then fuck off to somewhere remote and lie low for… the rest of her natural life, probably. She should cut this off, whatever it was, right away. But almost against her will, Rey found herself being drawn to the frustrating Aristo. His proximity was intoxicating, and she found herself resisting the urge to do very, very wicked things with this man.

_He’d let you, _her mind supplied unhelpfully. _There’s not much this man wouldn’t let you do with him._

His fingers threaded into the hair at the nape of her neck as he urged, “The truth. Tell me.”

Rey’s eyes slipped closed. She ached to be touched like this and hated that he was the one giving her exactly what she wanted. But she couldn’t afford to tell him the truth—that she wanted him, against her better judgment, more than she’d ever wanted anyone else. That there was a strange connection thrumming between them both. Did he feel it? That he was beyond desirable to her because of how unattainable he was. But there was too much that separated them. If she gave in to this man, he’d tear her heart out, Rey just knew it.

“Just because you’re handsome doesn’t mean I want you. Anyone with eyes can see what kind of person you are. And you want them to see you, which is a problem for me. Everyone looks closer when you’re around, and I don’t want anyone to see who I really am.”

He leaned in close, lips brushing against the sensitive skin behind her ear. “And who are you, really?”

“I’m no one,” she said, not for pity, but because it was the truth. The galaxy was safer for her when she was no one.

His laugh ghosted across her skin. “Is that so? Not to me. I’ve never seen someone with your… fire before. I want to know more about you. I want to know what makes you tick? What makes you angry, aside from me,” he quickly added as Rey sputtered, before continuing. “What sparks your interest? What makes you moan?” His voice was a deep purr and cut right through to the quick of her.

Rey’s legs felt weak, her body achy, as she tried to resist how badly she wanted him. But she made no move to distance herself and, as his fingers tripped over the much too thin fabric of her stupid, ridiculous dress, Rey felt herself pressing closer while her hands reached out to steady herself against his arms.

She felt drunk, with his hot his skin against her palms as she fought for control over her desire. She was going to have glitter all over herself again after this, she just knew it.

“Too bad you’re never going to find out anything about me, Solo,” she barely managed. The words sounded weak, even to her.

His lips pressed against the column of her throat, tongue darting out to taste her before he replied. “We’ll see.”

Rey let her head fall back, tongue slipping out to wet her lips in an invitation, but he didn’t kiss her. Maker, she wanted him to kiss her again. Wanted him to fuck right off. Wanted him to fuck _her_. Her hands skimmed up under his robes, nails dragging softly against his forearms as she pressed tight.

“Wicked smuggler, where have you been hiding all this time?” he wondered as his lips trailed across her cheek.

“Nowhere, everywhere,” she heard herself reply.

That made him laugh. His hands slipped over her hips, reaching up and tracing along the exposed skin of her back. This was so wrong for so many reasons, but there was something inside of Rey that wanted this. Would it be so bad to have the attention of a man like Ben Solo, if only for a moment?

_Of course, it would be! _she thought furiously, even as she rubbed against him, even as her hands skimmed up higher under his clothes and along his strong biceps. It was unfair how attractive he was, how he’d heightened his natural beauty—dark hair, broad physique, soulful eyes—with cosmetic enhancements that made him look otherworldly. He was dangerous. Tempting. And ultimately wrong for her.

But for a moment, Rey closed her eyes and pretended that she wasn’t wanted in at least ten systems and that he wasn’t the galaxy’s most notorious playboy. Pretended that he was just a man and she a woman and that this was the normal course for two people who were obviously attracted to each other. Ben’s arms held her tight as his leg gently eased between hers, the fabric of her dress splitting open as the thick muscles of his thigh ground into her.

_Fuck… _she thought as she forgot how to breathe.

Ben laughed. Had she said it aloud? She wasn’t sure anymore. When was the last time someone had made her feel like this? When was the last time someone else had made her come, to think of it? Would it be so bad to enjoy this?

Rey’s body moved before her brain could catch up and she canted her hips, grinding against his leg. He was wearing thin breeches underneath his voluminous clothes and they felt whisper-soft against the skin of her inner thighs as she cursed herself for actually finding underwear that worked with her dress.

Ben radiated something like amusement and desire as he held her tight, big hand pressing against her lower back as he urged her to slip and slide against him. Ben helped her find a rhythm as Rey ducked her head against his chest, lip trapped between her teeth as she closed her eyes and just _felt._

It was just the two of them, the sounds of their breaths, the staccato beat of her heart in her chest as Rey clung to him and barely kept herself from begging for more. She shouldn’t have even been doing this_,_ but she wanted more and, worst of all, he _knew it. _How could he not when she was so…

“…So fucking wet. Gods, Rey,” he groaned, as if in answer to her harried thoughts.

Rey whined piteously at that. It was too much now, he’d gone and wound her up so badly that she _had _to come now. And he hadn’t even kissed her! Her body was trembling with need, and this asshole hadn’t even deemed her worthy to place a kiss upon!

But this, working her body against his leg like some sort of horny teenager, surely this was something she could forget. It was a means to an end. She could keep her eyes closed and take a bit of pleasure for herself. With her eyes closed, he could be anyone…

_If that’s true… why are you thinking of his lips, his body, his mouth, his words? God, his cock feels fucking massive against my stomach…_

Ben slipped his hands over her ass, holding her tight as she rocked against his leg. She was so wound up, it wouldn’t take much, and he probably knew it.

“Come on, Rey. Let me watch that pretty face of yours as you come,” he urged wickedly.

Rey bit her lip _hard _to keep from crying out. All she could think about now was how badly she needed—no, _deserved—_to have this pleasure. Would he deny her that, cruel and beautiful creature that he was? Or would he give her this moment to take as a memory before she sailed out of his life and into the galaxy?

Ben gently nosed behind her ear as he wondered, “When’s the last time someone made you scream?”

_Oh fuck. Never… _she thought. He seemed to take her silence for what it was—an admission that her sex life, much the same as the rest of her life, had been terrible. She didn’t want a one-night stand, she wanted connection, _belonging. _She wanted all the things the life of a smuggler would never let her have.

Ben’s lips tripped against her skin as his voice rumbled, “How tragic. The things I’d do to you. I’d take you so completely that you’d never be able to get the memory of my cock out of your mind. God, Rey—you’re soaked. Are you going to come for me?”

One of Ben’s hands left her ass before wickedly wedging between them both as Rey gasped up at him.

_Oh, fuck! _She thought as he pressed his hand against her soaked core. He let out a low laugh as his hand skimmed over the sopping fabric of her underthings, apparently amused that she’d gotten so worked up, but said nothing to tease her about it, for once.

That soft pressure against her clit had been just about enough to send her over the edge, _but not quite_. Holding her gaze, Ben slipped his fingers under the fabric of her underwear and gave one long swipe along her slit. Rolling his fingers upward, he pressed against that insistent little nub, swirling it between his thick fingers as Rey dug her nails into the thick muscles of his arms.

She’d leave nail marks on him, Rey was sure of it, but at the little swirling motion, that precious softness, the perfect and intimate way he knew _just _what she wanted was too much. He was fucking ruining her for anyone else, and she hadn’t even fucked him. He was _dangerous and powerful, _and it only made her want him more.

And she’d thought she’d seen the worst of what he could do, the way it felt like he could imprint on her soul as he invaded every part of her being, but it was what he did next that made Rey lose all sense of who she was, where she was, _what _she was.

His eyes locked with hers as he gave one final swipe between her legs before Ben pulled his hand up to his lips, dipped his fingers inside of his mouth to give one long, obscene _suck_ as a satisfied smile spread across his face. His eyes fluttered as he licked the taste of her off of his fingertips and that combined with the way his touch and pushed her _so close, _and the steely feel of him pressed so tight between her legs, _almost _got her off. This was going to destroy her, she was quite certain, but what a way to go.

“Ben… I’m going to…” she panted as her head lolled against his chest.

He knew, of course, he knew how close she was, someone like him who lived such a decadent lifestyle would know exactly when their lover was getting close, but he wanted more from her.

“Tell me,” he demanded as Rey let out a shaky breath. His hand came up and cradled her cheek, forcing her to stare at him as she gave him what he wanted.

“Ben—I’m going to… _Oh, _I’m so close!” Rey whined.

His lip quirked as his fingers—the very ones he’d used to taste her—traced over her mouth. Rey narrowed her gaze at him. _Decadent. Lush. Temptation._ Almost without thought, Rey captured one of his long fingers between her lips, sucking hard as she ground herself into his leg.

She was beyond caring now. She needed this—_deserved _this. And as the pleasure mounted, she realized she could taste herself and him in her mouth, the combination of them both blending into something wicked and delicious. It was a taste her body would crave, even as her mind ordered her to forget.

And still… he didn’t kiss her. Just watched with that intense gaze, watched and waited for her to—no, that wasn’t it at all. He wasn’t waiting for her to come; he was waiting to give the command. She hadn’t realized that she’d been waiting for it. Rey _never _waited for anyone or anything. It was hers for the taking, wasn’t it? But if that was so, then why did her body ache? Why wouldn’t it release?

Rey looked at him pleadingly, begging without words for him to set her off. His tongue darted out as he waited. And waited. And Rey tried and tried and fucked along his leg, moans growing needier as the seconds passed. There was a strangeness in the moment, something uncanny and beyond her comprehension. He had a hold on her, and she couldn’t understand why. But there was an exquisite kind of pleasure in relinquishing control, wasn’t there?

He seemed to realize that about her. How much she valued control and keeping things in order. Rey kept herself in check to keep herself safe, but to be vulnerable and trust someone with something so intimate… The thought sent a bolt of pleasure through her that was so overwhelming that it almost gave her what she wanted.

Finally, she relented as her body trembled against his. “Ben. Please.”

Some tension seemed to go out of him at her request as if he’d been waiting for her to ask as much as he’d wanted to give permission. Ben pressed a chaste kiss against her brow as Rey held her breath and waited.

_This is bad. This is so, so bad, _she thought, even as her body strained against his. The moment stretched between them as he waited, as she _moved,_ until he gave them what they both wanted. His voice was a low roar, lips against her skin as he finally commanded, “Come for me, Rey.”

Her eyes slipped closed as the faintest moment of panic suffused her body, as if she’d be stuck on that precipice between overwrought desire and release forever, before… Rey’s fingers dug into his flesh as her orgasm hit—_hard. _Pleasure suffused her body, trailing into every facet of her being until everything she was, the beginning and the end, was tied to this moment. She thought she heard herself laugh, maybe cry. Certainly, she heard herself beg for more and more and more.

Through it all, Ben watched her, a smile on his lips as he held her tight, pressing the thick muscles of his leg hard against her core as he wrung every bit of pleasure from her body. For a moment, only their breaths broke the silence. Rey rested against him, too out of sorts to pull away and stand on her own.

His leg remained tight against her core, each accidental brush against her sending a lingering shimmer of pleasure through her. It didn’t have to stop here, Rey realized. She could take them both out of this closet, find a place with a bed, and a sonic and…

_Abandon my post. Get kicked out of Maz’s… And for what? One night with Ben Solo?_

She knew it was a foolish thought, probably driven by her lingering desire and hormones, but she _did _consider it. And half of her thought it would probably be worth it. At least, until reality hit. The mood shifted as Rey started to realize what an idiotic thing she’d done but before she could disentangle herself from Ben’s big body, the door to the closet sprung open, flooding the supply closet with harsh light. A droid stumbled its way through an apology for interrupting them. The door slipped shut again as Rey tried to compose herself.****

What a fool she was. Letting some Aristo seduce her in a closet when she knew better! She had rules for a reason! Get in, get out. Don’t draw attention. And, most of all, don’t get attached! She started to sputter out some excuses him while sliding off his leg and pulling away from the warmth of his body, but what he said next robbed Rey of her voice entirely.

Ben cocked his head as he looked at her and licked his lips before murmuring, “You taste like sunshine, do you know that?” he said, completely ignoring her gripes and, yet again, throwing her off of her axis.

“I… what?” she stammered as Ben smiled broadly, her senses returned at the smug look on his face. “It doesn’t… matter what I taste like. You just… why can’t you leave me alone?”

His eyebrow quirked. “I don’t want to. Not even a little.”

Just when she was about to finish disentangling herself from him, his arms shot out and he pulled her tight, body warm and strangely comforting against hers as he just held her close.

“I’ll see you soon,” he promised her quietly. “Try to keep yourself out of trouble until then.”

Rey couldn’t keep the pout from her reply. “I didn’t start getting into trouble again until you showed up.”

Ben chuckled softly. “I don’t doubt that. I _should_ let you go, you know that, don’t you?”

Rey sighed. She _did _know. All of this felt so wrong and yet… so right. At least, she knew he was warring with himself the same way she was.

“Then let me go?” she suggested, though it was the last thing she really wanted. If the galaxy were a kinder place, if she’d been born a little less rough, not been hurt so bad, then maybe…

“Never,” he breathed. “I don’t think I can, now. But I know. I know better.”

Something dangerously close to affection was blooming in her heart for him and not even the promise of heartbreak could keep it from taking root.

_What a mess… _she thought while looking up into Ben’s face. _What a stupid, beautiful, mess._

Finally, just when she’d thought he wouldn’t, Ben dipped his head and placed a soft kiss on her lips. It was almost sweet, and so unlike him that Rey was shocked to feel herself getting a little choked up. She could blame it on the lingering emotions from being thoroughly wrecked by Ben Solo’s thick thigh in a supply closet, but that would be a lie, and she’d know it.

“I have to get back to work,” she said finally, though Ben had made no move to release her and, despite her complicated feelings, she enjoyed the warmth and comfort of being in his strong arms. He was… a very good hugger, she had to admit.

Ben sighed. “Must you?”

Rey puffed out a little laugh before ducking her head against his chest. “I must. Not everyone has a trust fund they can fall back on.”

Rey thought, though she couldn’t be quite sure, that Ben’s grip tightened slightly at that, which was… so strange. His fortune was one of the many reasons that people would not leave him alone—maybe that hit too close to home for Ben? She’d not meant to hurt him, just state what was an incontrovertible truth.

“No, I guess you’re right,” he softly agreed. One of his hands came up to splay across her exposed skin, hot and broad as it nearly spanned the entirety of her back. He was remarkably gentle with her, despite his teasing, and it was just another complicated quirk about him that she couldn’t quite resolve in her head.

Rey’s fingers traced softly along the folds of his robes, tripping beneath until they found the skin of his chest. Before she could think better of it, she uttered a soft, “Thank you,” though she couldn’t keep the blush from rising in her cheeks. She wasn’t in the habit of thanking anyone for _anything, _let alone thanking some Aristo for giving her a spine-tingling orgasm.

Ben gently curled his fingers against her back, softly stroking as he replied, “Any time.”

She knew he meant what he’d said, even if she had no intention of ever letting this sort of thing happen again—_couldn’t _let this kind of thing happen again.

_He’s too much. People see too much. Feel too much. Want too much of him. I can’t be in that place. He’ll pull me into his orbit and I’ll crash against the surface of his wild world until there’s nothing left of me,_ she thought morosely.

Still, Rey lingered as Ben softly held her, petted her like she was a treasured thing and not some smuggler-cum-bodyguard who his mother had hired. Like she was _someone. _Ben made her feel like _someone, _and that was a beautiful lie that she could not afford to buy into. Rey started to shift in his arms, pulling away though every part of her wanted to linger.

Ben stared down at her, eyes skimming across her face as he seemed to search for something to say. “Stay with me,” he eventually demanded. “Let’s finish this somewhere more appropriate.”

Rey shook her head. “No.”

He smiled, and she knew he liked her defiance—her ire. Ben leaned in close, lips brushing against the shell of her ear as he murmured, “Do you want me to say ‘_please’_?”

Rey swallowed thickly, breath coming up short as she let that word—that aching, needy, ferociously decadent little word roll right through her. Maybe that was exactly what she wanted to hear, but despite what they’d done together, she knew that there’d be no turning back from spending the night with Ben. Something like that would change a person, she was certain. Though, what she wasn’t certain of, was whether it’d change her for better, or for worse.

She took matters into her own hands, showing him without words all the complicated feelings that were warring within her troubled heart. And he let her, leaned into Rey’s touch as her fingers threaded into his long, thick hair, jewels and beaded threads tangling in her fingers as she pulled. Ben growled softly—he liked that.

Rey kissed him like she had all the time in the world, like they weren’t in a supply closet and likely to be interrupted again at any point. She kissed him as if she had every right to and he let her, strong arms pressed flush against her as he held tight.

His lips were divine, and he pulled her deep, submerged her in the exquisite pleasure that only he gave her with ever nip, suck, and sigh from his lips. She’d never really thought much of kissing until she’d been kissed by him, and now she knew why. She’d never been kissed the way Ben kissed her. It felt like an extension of his words, communicating his desire through his lips, tongue, and teeth.

Kisses had always seemed to be messy, awkward things before, but now… His lips robbed her of sense and made her want to break every rule in her book. His kisses made her reckless and, she hoped, this was at least slightly the same for him.

They pulled apart, breathless, bodies still entwined as the magnitude of her kiss settled on them both. It was a _lot. _Kissing him—really letting go and kissing him—was heady and addictive. If she wasn’t careful, if she didn’t act _now, _she’d end up doing a lot more than just kissing Ben on the mouth, of that she was certain. She’d already done _more _than enough with him for one evening.

So, while her mind was still hers and before the little of resolve she had left waivered, Rey let her hands fall from his thick hair, softly skimming over his chest one last time before she stepped away. And he let her, as much as she could see he didn’t want to stop either, he let her. He was more than they said he was, Rey knew that.

Maybe, one day, she’d learn more about Ben Solo—the real Ben Solo, not the ones in her gossip holos, but not today. This time, Rey took his hand in hers and pulled it to her lips as she pressed a tight kiss against his palm. She offered him one final smile before releasing his hand to step around him.

“Goodbye, Ben,” she said as she pressed her fingers against the door panel. She left him there in the dark, in a supply closet, while she walked back into the night and tried to forget that, if she wanted, the galaxy’s favorite son, its treasured prince, and notorious playboy, Ben Solo, would have given her _almost _everything she wanted.

Rey reminded herself that this was for the best as she tried to focus on the party and her work. But destiny, it seemed, had other plans—as did Leia Organa, who absolutely _didn’t _ever miss a gods damned thing. And the Senator sure wasn’t the only one in the galaxy who noticed her son slink back into the party, not a few minutes after Rey did.

Not the only one at all, indeed.

* * *

_Well, loves._

_A source that will remain nameless has delivered, and what a night was had. Cake, presents, dancing and… secret rendezvous in a closet? No pictures, only rumors, but we have reason to believe that after one decadent and dashing space prince was caught slipping out of his own party that he found himself in the arms of a nameless sentient._

_And you know what we say, they’re never nameless for long, especially with the galaxy watching. But honey, if you were the reason Ben came back to the party with his hair askew, robes messy, cheeks flushed, and makeup smudged—drop the dirty details._

_We’re all dying to know if all the rumors are true, so be a hero and send up a comm to your friendly galactic gossip, Galaxy Glitter._

_Everyone else, stay gorgeous! And, as always, if you don’t have anything nice to say, send it to us first!_

_-GG out!_

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Told you this was a long one lol. Sorry, I prefer to make things a little shorter (mostly because editing is a pain in the ass, but also because I know not everyone has time to read a super long chapter), so thanks for sticking through! My wrists hurt lol. Anyway, thanks for all your lovely comments and for reading <3 Any mistakes are my own and keep me humble lol. Take care, everyone! 

* * *

**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend, give this a [lil reblog](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/post/612963452033630208/pacificwanderer-butterscotch-goddamn-by)/[retweet](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1/status/1240412818756603905) or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading!**

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	8. A Fine Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After her encounter with Ben in a supply closet, Rey resolves to keep herself out of his orbit, but her lofty plans are blown to bits when Leia makes Maz an offer she can't refuse. Pulled relentlessly back into the glitter and glam of Ben Solo's world, will Rey be able to keep her heart in one piece? And keep her past from upturning all that she's worked so hard for?

_Ready to get gorgeous and spend some time with Ben Solo for a good cause? You all know, we never have anything nice to say, but that changes today! Sources say that Ben finally caved and will be offering himself up as a prize for the Intergalactic Collective, a non-profit that helps… Well, does it matter? We’ve been told it’s a good cause, and given that the prize is Ben Solo, that’s good enough for us, babies!_

_Donate, donate, donate, but let us win!_

_Anyway, enough do-gooder goodies, and on to the gossip. A sexy little birdie told us that one Armitage Hux is also on the guest list for this event and that it’s a charity the Governor has personally spearheaded. But how’d he get Ben to agree to this? Is Ben settling an old debt or is there more going on here?_

_Has the consummate bachelor, Ben Solo, finally been taken off of the market by an old flame? We hope not, but you can bet our eyes will be watching and our ears will be listening to what happens next. And, either way, with Armitage and Ben in the same room, you know the gossip is going to be good._

_Stay gorgeous! And, as ever, if you don’t have anything nice to say, send it to us first!_

_-GG out and donating to the cause—the ‘Ben Solo date us’ cause!_

* * *

Rey didn’t tell either Finn or Korr about the group of intruders, and certainly not what happened between her and Ben, though Finn was beginning to know her well enough that he could tell something was up during their flight back to Takodana.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked from the captain’s chair. That Rey’d not fought to fly was another dead giveaway that something had happened.

“Nothing to talk about. I’m just glad to be away from Coruscant,” Rey hedged.

Finn shrugged before the Starbird slipped out of the Coruscant atmosphere and into space. “Your call, pumpkin.”

And she thought that she was fine with it all. Random goons at a party? Fine. Hidden in a supply closet with Ben? Fine. Riding his leg until she came against his body? Fine. Fine. Fine. But later, after reading the gossip holos? She was absolutely, a thousand percent, not fine. By the time she'd gotten back to Takodana, the mood had persisted.

So, Rey did the one thing that _always _made her feel better. Trudging out of Maz’s castle, Rey headed for where the Starbird was docked and decided to work on some projects that she’d been putting off. And she wasn’t the only person who wanted to get some work done on the ship. Rose was banging around inside the hull. Rose shot Rey a greeting without pulling her head up from the panel she was working on.

And that was that. Rey got to it and, for a little while at least, all thoughts of Aristos, and closets, and life slipped away, replaced by the familiar noises of tools and work being done. Rose, like Rey, seemed like she was happiest when she was working with her hands—pulling apart the Starbird, adding mods. Times like these, Rey and Rose were in their element.

But Rose, even more so than Finn, could easily tell something was bothering Rey. But, instead of asking directly, she went for the roundabout way. Which worked better because it took Rey off her guard a bit, especially when Rose shared bits about her life first.

“So, Paige and I, we got stuck on this freighter going to Arkanis—You ever been to Arkanis, Rey?”

Rey called from the cockpit. “No, hear they have lots of rain.”

“_So_ rainy,” Rose agreed from the passageway outside of the cockpit. “Anyway, Paige got herself into some trouble with one of the other passengers,” she continued while working.

“What kind of trouble?” Rey wondered as she took a minute to stretch and yawn.

Rose paused, peeked her head into the cockpit, and grinned. A warm glow colored her rosy cheeks which were also streaked with grease and grit and who knew what else. “The _sexy _kind of trouble,” she said with a laugh before brushing a dark lock of hair out of her eyes with a wrench.

“Oh,” Rey added before smiling and shaking her head a little. As far as she knew, Rose didn’t have any superpowers, but it was uncanny how empathetic she was and how she just seemed to understand what was bothering Rey, without her needing to say it.

Rose ducked her head back around and Rey turned back to scrubbing at a patch of… something that was stuck to the captain’s chair. The sound of a blowtorch reached her ears, so she gathered Rose was near finished with her work.

The tubing on a few wires was frayed, so Rose was doing a patch job until parts came in. Rey was detailing the cockpit. It wasn’t like it was super dirty, but she didn’t want it to _get _dirty. And, besides, cleaning her space always made her feel a little better.

And she needed to feel better after she’d switched on her datapad to read the news. Okay, not the news, the latest gossip. And, much to her absolute fucking horror, she was featured in one of Galaxy Glitter’s holos. Not by name, or description, or anything—but ‘secret rendezvous in a closet’? Yeah, that had been her. She was so _pissed _with herself. She’d been worried about catching attention, and here she’d almost been outed in one of GG’s blasts.

A little holo of Ben Solo as he’d looked during the Concordance day celebrations had stared back at her accusingly as she read through the gossip.

_Damnit. Damnit it all to hell! _She’d thought before heading to the one place where she felt safe and in control—the Starbird. Of course, it was also one of Rose’s favorite haunts, but that didn’t bother Rey.

Being around Rose was a kind of comfortable that she’d not realized was possible with another person. Rose was a friend who knew when to talk and when to listen and when to sit in companionable silence. It was… nice. And Rey was beginning to appreciate her friend from Hays Minor more and more.

Rose went on to describe how she and her sister, who was currently living on Arkanis, ended up sneaking onto the ship of some charming captain. And instead of getting off on the planet, they’d gone to work for the captain—and then some, for Paige. Now, her sister and the captain ran a shipping business and Rose visited as much as she could.

Rey asked her once whether she’d wanted to live with her sister, and Rose made a face and said, “The last thing I need is to live with a couple that disgustingly in love. It’s great, and I’m happy for her, but it’s just day in day out—lovey-dovey bullshit.”

Rey had refrained from pointing out just how cute _Finn and she _were, but she also suspected Rose getting off of Arkanis had been more about striking out on her own than not wanting to live with her sister.

Rose, for the most part, seemed to have an easy time opening up to people. At least, once she got to know them. Rey wondered whether that came from having someone to rely on. It was hard for Rey to open up to people, but it was getting easier with friends like Rose. Still, every time Rey decided to open up, she had to ignore the feeling in her gut that told her opening up was a mistake, that it would only get her hurt or, worse, betrayed.

It was a visceral reaction, and one she felt whether it was warranted or not. She knew Rose was her friend and that she probably wouldn’t use the information she shared against her, but growing up alone on Jakku kept trust from coming easy. Fortunately, Rose was a patient and caring friend. And, bit by bit, opening up became a little easier.

Taking a breath to steel herself, Rey paused in her scrubbing to ask, “You ever meet someone who just… was so wrong? And so right?”

Rose hummed thoughtfully from the other side of the partition. “Can’t say I have. But I do think that love can be hard and wonderful. Doesn’t have to be all one thing, you know?”

“It’s not love,” Rey started to sputter before realizing she was giving _way _too much away. Thankfully, Rose either didn’t hear her or wasn’t willing to press the issue until Rey wanted to talk about it.

“I mean, getting close to someone—when you’ve been through a lot. It’s hard, right? To trust? I know, for the longest time, there was no one else in the galaxy that I trusted aside from my sister.”

“So, you and Finn?”

“Gradual. We got off on the wrong foot. I shocked his ass the first time I met him.”

“You what?”

“Shocked him. He was one of Maz’s new hires and I’d been off-planet, so when I saw him rummaging around through the guts of the Starbird…”

Rey huffed softly. “Makes sense. When it comes to the ship, I shoot to kill.”

“Naturally. Lucky for Finn, I’d set my blaster to stun. Maz sorted it all out between us, but for a while, we didn’t get along.”

“Can’t imagine why,” Rey joked.

Rose snickered. “Yeah, so sensitive, right?”

“Men, big babies. The whole lot of them,” Rey commiserated before shifting to detail the console. “What changed?”

Rose laughed a little. “Well, he’s handsome.”

“Noted,” Rey agreed.

“And, one night, we got _really drunk _and…”

“And?”

“And we ended up talking the whole night away in the kitchen.”

Rey huffed out a little laugh. “Here I thought it was something scandalous. You two are adorable.”

“Ahh, shut the hell up,” Rose groused.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m glad, anyway. You two are great together.”

_Ben and I… We’d never be cute like that, _Rey thought, glumly. And Rose seemed to be able to track where her thoughts had gone because she wasn’t finished.

“Just because you might have something different with your _someone,_” Rose lingered on the word and Rey knew she was curious about who exactly was causing her internal angst, but she wasn’t going to press. “Doesn’t mean it’s not going to be good or maybe even better—what matters is that it makes you happy.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Rey agreed. So, she was fucked when it came to Ben because there was no way she’d ever be happy with him, right? He was too different, and his background was just too dissimilar to her own. It was all just such a mess. And yet, the attraction remained between them and curiosity. And that feeling of there being something _more _running under the surface… Just waiting to be discovered.

“I’m almost done here, how are you doing?” Rose asked, cutting into Rey’s thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m about done with all of this. And starving.”

“Same. Let’s go get some food?”

“Read my mind.”

It wasn’t like she had to worry about seeing Ben again, anyway. Right? There was no rational reason why they’d end up in the same space, so she was worrying over nothing, which was something of a specialty of hers.

So, as she and Rose finished up their work, slipped off of the ship, and walked back to Maz’s castle, Rey tried to forget about boys or Ben Solos or anything other than the soft rustle of the breeze, and the dewy feeling of the warm air on her skin. For now, she would stick to the plan—get some credits, save up, and then get gone. And her plan worked, for a couple of weeks, anyway.

* * *

For about two weeks, Rey was able to pretend that dry humping Ben’s leg in a supply closet wasn’t going to have any lasting repercussions for her life. Truthfully, it wasn’t the dry humping that had complicated her life, but Ben’s curious interest, which his ever-watchful mother _had_ noted.

Rey had been right to suspect that the Senator didn’t miss anything, and whatever she’d seen in Rey and Finn, she’d liked. And, on a perfectly normal morning, before Rey had even gotten her first cup of caf, Maz got the order that would change her life. Again.

Sitting there in Maz’s kitchen, she’d taken the datapad that detailed their new assignment without really looking at it. Rey was more content to eat her way through her piping hot meal, but when she’d finally looked at the kriffing thing, she had half a mind to throw it right back at Maz and refuse.

“What the actual fuck, Maz?”

Maz had turned her head slowly, as if she couldn’t believe that someone would have the nerve to swear at _her _in her own castle. Maz fixed that ancient gaze on Rey, adjusting her glasses as she stared. With a smile, Maz assured Rey that she knew what she was doing.

“Since when do we do regular bodyguard work?” Rey growled.

“Since it pays better than running,” Maz said slowly, as if she was talking to a child and, truthfully, Rey was acting a little childish. But she was _not _okay with doing more bodyguard work for Ben Solo.

“And this says Leia is paying. Does Ben even know about this? Do I even get a say in any of this?”

Maz’s eyebrow raised, the lines in her citrine-colored forehead crinkling as she fixed her stare on Rey. “My dear,” Maz drawled, enunciating her words slowly as Rey waited for her to reveal the rest. “You were requested—personally. And if you check the payment amount, it was considerable. I cannot, in good conscience, let you make horrible financial decisions just because you find Ben Solo irresistible.”

Rey blanched. “What have you heard?”

Maz’s smile widened. “Nothing, precious child. But your reaction just confirmed what I’ve suspected. You need to learn to control your emotions better, Rey. Your face is like an unencrypted datapad sometimes. Whether Ben knows is immaterial. You’re being paid for a job unless you’d like to look for work elsewhere…?”

Rey huffed. “Of course not. But I don’t see why I have to do this alone.”

“It’s not just you. Finn got the job offer too, but he’s out on a run, and I need him where he is. Now, you get to step up and show me what you’re made of.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Haven’t I already done that?”

“Of course, but now I get to see whether you’ve retained any of what I’ve taught you.”

Rey just barely kept herself from telling Maz that she’d already learned everything that she needed to know _before _she’d landed on Takodana because she knew Maz was baiting her. The smug smile Maz gave her when she managed to stay silent all but confirmed it.

“Good. I know this will be a challenge, but Leia always pays her debts, and it’d be worth it to get into Ben Solo’s good books. He has many powerful friends,” Maz reminded Rey. She seemed to be internally working through how much money this would inevitably make her.

_Pirates, _Rey thought mercilessly, but credits were at the top of Rey’s mind as well. As much trouble as she seemed to get into with Ben, at least the money had been good. Maybe this was a subtle push in the right direction by the galaxy? Another step in her plan to save and get the hell out of the smuggling business?

And so, Rey found herself placed as the sometimes-bodyguard of the one man in the galaxy that she didn’t want to see, and also the one man in the galaxy that she wasn’t able to keep out of her head.

* * *

For her first assignment, she was going to Arkanis, and Rey knew to expect rain. This meant she had to borrow some clothes from Rose as, while Takodana did get its fair share of rain, Rey had never really gotten around to preparing for it by purchasing adequate clothing. Besides, Takodana was a temperate planet, and Rey loved the feeling of warm rain against her skin.

Still, Rose was a lifesaver and had exactly what Rey needed. “This jacket should fit you. And I think your normal boots should be fine for Arkanis. I have an umbrella, but it’s a combat umbrella. Will that work?”

“Do I need to ask how you managed to get your hands on a combat umbrella?”

Rose grinned. “Probably better if you didn’t right now. It would take too long to explain, but I’ll sum that story up with treasure hunting and a bit of raiding.”

“I’ll take it.” Rey reasoned that you never did know when a combat umbrella would come in handy.

“You going to need anything formal this time around?” Rose asked while digging around through her dresser drawers.

Her little room was similar to Rey’s except for the fact that Rose had spent the time to make it look a little more hospitable—a framed picture of Rose and Paige sat on a small bedside table, which was piled high with books. Art and artifacts from Rose’s travels lined the walls. And, best of all, an incredibly thick and fluffy blanket lined her bed. Rey couldn’t resist running her hands against it every time she was in Rose’s room.

“I hope not,” Rey replied. “The last thing I need is a formal event without Finn or you there to help me get my shit together.”

Rose threw a smile and a wink over her shoulder. “What are friends for? And, besides, you always help me out whenever I need another blaster.”

That was true, not that Rose needed Rey’s blaster hand very often. Just a few tense standoffs, but they’d managed to get their goods and get paid. Rey and Rose didn’t accept defeat easily and, together, they were practically unstoppable.

Still, it was weird to have someone who considered her a friend—both her and Finn. It wasn’t something Rey was used to. It was nice to have friends, but not entirely comfortable. Life, for Rey, felt like a lot of waiting around for the other shoe to drop but, so far, things with Finn and Rose hadn’t panned out like that. It was more like their shoes were firmly planted at her side while Rey stood around and tried to think of what she’d done to deserve friends at all, let alone friends she could rely on.

Rose tossed Rey some thick socks. “You’ll thank me later. Arkanis isn’t cold, but the damp feeling seeps into your bones at night.”

“Thanks,” Rey replied. She was grateful for Rose’s insight and she _really _hated having cold feet.

“So, Ben Solo,” Rose said out of nowhere, catching Rey off guard. And here, she’d thought she’d get away with not talking about him to Rose.

“And?”

“He’s the only Aristo I’ve met that I can stand.”

“So?”

“So, he’s super hot and somehow you just keep managing to… run into situations where you two are on the same planet?”

“How do you know him, again?” Rey deflected, but Rose didn’t take the bait.

“You know we met through my sister. It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about him, but I expect a full report about the event when you get back, deal?”

Rey sighed. “I’m sure it’ll be just as boring as all the other Aristo events I’ve worked.”

“Yeah, but you’ve never been to one where they auction off dates. I need to know how it happens—and not from a gossip holo. First hand.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll do my best.”

“Good. And say ‘hi’ to Ben for me. It’s been a while since he saved my life,” Rose said, as dramatically as she could.

“I don’t think someone running interference on an annoying sentient quite qualifies as life-saving,” Rey drawled.

“But it’s pretty close,” Rose assured her. “You’ve never been accosted by Arkanian glitterati before, so you have no idea.”

Rey did have some idea what it was like to be accosted by an Aristo, but she wasn’t about to admit it. Instead, she settled on, “Thanks for the advice. I’ll keep my hands to myself and, hopefully, so will everyone else.”

_Ben included…_ Rey added mentally.

With an armful of clothes from Rose, Rey wiggled her hand as best she could to say goodbye before stepping towards the exit. “I’ll comm once I’ve landed.”

“Fingers crossed it’s an easy assignment for you. Oh, and Rey?”

“Hmm?” Rey paused and turned back to face her friend.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well. I’ve seen your daily routine, so I don’t have much to worry about.”

“Ha-ha. I have more fun than you, and we both know it,” Rose called as Rey headed towards her quarters.

Rey had enough ‘fun’ the last time she’d gone on an assignment that ended up with her being near Ben. She was having a hard time _not _having ‘fun’ with him. That was part of the problem. Ben _was _fun. Too much fun. And lived a life that was so wildly different from her own that there was no way she could get in and out of ‘fun’ situations with Ben, without leaving a little piece of her heart as payment.

She couldn’t help it. He was charming, practically irresistible, and worst of all, kind to her. It felt like he _saw _her as no one else did. Something was running between them that was more than just attraction, it almost felt like a compulsion and one that Rey had to fight against. But maybe Rose was right. Maybe she _should _have a little fun and open up a little. Not too much, but just enough, trust just a little bit, and let Ben show her all the ways he knew how to enjoy life.

Rey sighed as she pressed the panel for her door. It was a long trip to Arkanis and Leia was sending a transport, so she’d have plenty of time to think about Ben, the galaxy, and what was about to come next for her.

_Here’s hoping the credits roll in and I can buy my way into a new life._

And that was the thing about hope, it was small, but it burned bright in Rey’s heart, despite all that had happened to her, despite how much it hurt to dream. But somehow, a feeling echoed back to her, and she wondered, not for the first time, if this was what it felt like to be walking down destiny’s path.

* * *

Breaking through the atmosphere of Arkanis was strange. Rain pelted the large transport and, though she looked out one of the viewports, she couldn’t see anything other than puffy clouds and streaking water.

The captain had to circle the ship around for a half an hour before getting landing clearance and, by the time they settled onto the docking bay, Rey was _really _ready to get off of the ship. She didn’t do well with being cooped up for long, despite being a pilot who frequently went on long trips herself.

Somehow, being a passenger was way worse than flying on her own. At least, when she was in the captain’s chair, she had things to distract her from how slowly time was passing. And given that she was alone in the cabin, aside from the service droid, the trip had been uneventful, to say the least.

Gathering her stuff, Rey made her way toward the back of the vessel and waited for the ramp to disengage from the side of the ship. Which, again, took longer than she’d hoped. She was practically hopping by the time the ramp cracked open with a hiss, hydraulics slowly working as the ramp descended.

Rey had been instructed to wait for a pickup at the dock. She’d expected an aide, someone like Korr or a transport droid. What she got was Ben Solo and she didn’t know whether her surprise was happiness or annoyance.

He looked good because, of course, he did. Rey resisted the urge to smooth back her hair, which had been pulled into a messy braid for the trip. She was dressed casually—dark work pants, a long green poncho for the rain, work boots. Meanwhile, Ben looked like a prince.

It seemed like his day-to-day dressing was more subdued than how he dressed for events, though he suited either look. Brassy buttons gleamed against a navy, double-breasted jacket, which was left casually unbuttoned. A deep red colored shirt popped from beneath the dark fabric, while soft-looking pants flowed around his legs, almost giving the impression that he was wearing a skirt.

A wide, black and gold belt was cinched tight over the red of his shirt, and matching shoes gleamed against the duracrete ground. His hair was side-swept, left long, and curled enticingly against the collar of his jacket. Ben’s eyes were lined with kohl and his lashes shimmered in the light as he stared down at her, a quizzical smile on his otherwise unadorned face.

Rey cursed herself for not bothering to put on even a little makeup, but she’d not thought that Ben, of all people, would be the one to get her from the port. She’d thought to have at least a little time before having to face him again.

_That’s a big fucking nope._

As she stepped down the ramp, she could feel Ben’s eyes on her—not that he could see much, what with her covered up with a poncho and all. But somehow, he made it feel like he could see right through what she was wearing—like he knew _exactly _what she looked like without anything on at all.

It was a thrilling and possessive sort of look, felt a bit like a claiming. With anyone else, Rey would have bristled indignantly and reached for her blaster, but with Ben… Warmth suffused her body and she realized it was going to be harder than she realized to keep things professional.

Ben held out a gloved hand towards her, long fingers outstretched as she stepped off of the ship and right into his dangerous orbit.

* * *

**Author’s Notes!** I had a shitton of work for the beginning of the month, but I have been working on this, so the next few should go up faster than this one (I promised I would work on this and I absolutely did lol). Hux is going to be popping in (a few chapters from now), while he and Ben did have something in the past, that’s where it stays for this story (in case anyone was concerned, I also don’t write about cheating, which I think I said in the earlier chapters, but just as a reminder—HEA only because that’s all I got in me). But definitely after some sass, drama, and a DASH of unforeseen circumstances. Anyways, hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading and for the lovely comments. Definitely sustains me during this super weird and stressful time. Hope you’re all doing ok through all of this! <3

* * *

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	9. The Heat Rising Off Your Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey waits while Ben prepares himself for the auction with the help of his protocol droid, but once Ben reveals himself, will Rey be able to keep her hands to herself? (no) Will Ben? (also no).

Rey didn’t take his hand, instead opting to pass Ben her sack of things, which he took without comment, surprisingly. She was about to ask why he’d bothered to pick her up personally, but Ben broke the silence first. “Back again so soon?”

“You going to pretend like you had nothing to do with this?” Rey drawled while walking that fine line between happy to see him, and pissed off that she was back in his proximity again.

Ben waved his hands in a conciliatory manner, opalescent nail polish flashing as he assured her, “I _didn’t _have anything to do with it. My mother has a mind of her own.”

“And you just let her do whatever she wants?”

“Let her? If you knew my mother, you’d realize how there’s no stopping her once she gets an idea in her head and, besides,” he stepped close and waited for Rey to look up at him.

“Besides what?”

Ben licked his lips, tongue peeking out as he purposefully drew attention to his mouth, unhelpfully reminding her of all the sinful things he could do with that mouth, and she was so struck by it what he said next almost didn’t register. “It’ll be easier to keep you out of trouble this way.”

Rey blinked as the words slowly rolled around in her mind. Here he was, standing there like he hadn’t completely blown her mind the last time they were together. _And _acting like he was responsible for keeping _her _safe. Which maybe he’d saved her ass from that gang of party-crashers, but still!

She was not going to let this comment slide.“Keep _me _out of trouble? I’m _your _bodyguard!”

Ben laughed as if she’d said the funniest thing in the world. He was so fucking strange. “How about we keep each other safe then?” he suggested like it was an option, in spite of the fact that she was currently with him because it was a paid job.

“I’ve never needed anyone to keep me safe before, why would I need someone now?”

“Well, you’ve never been wrapped up in my life before. If the gossip holonists don’t get you, someone else might. So, take my advice, and take my help,” he said, reasonably. Rey did know that the gossip holonists could make her life living hell or, worse, out her to the syndicates, but there was no reason for them to care about who she was at all.

Rey narrowed her eyes, glaring up at him as she asked, “Why do I get the feeling something is going on here that you’re not telling me about?”

Ben cocked his head to the side and smiled knowingly. “There is _so _much going on that I’m not ever going to tell you about. You’re just going to have to trust me.”

Rey’s hands came up to her face, fingertips massaging into the pressure points on her temple. “You’re going to be the death of me, aren’t you?”

He leaned in, voice barely above a whisper as he assured her, “Only the ‘little death,’ smuggler.”

She rolled her eyes but said nothing. He _had _given her that. And how much trouble could _one _Aristo get into, anyway? As long as she didn’t do anything stupid, keep her head down, keep her hands to herself. Mustering her strength, Rey took a deep breath and stepped away from the decadent Aristo. Her expression shifted, mask sliding into place as she fought to keep things professional between them.

“Mr. Solo,” she tried, even though it sounded wrong from her lips.

Ben’s nose flared a little, eyebrow quirking as if he was both annoyed and interested in where this was going. “No,” he said shortly.

“No?”

“If we’re playing games, and you want to keep your distances, I don’t go by ‘Mr. Solo.’”

“Well, what _do _you go by?”

“‘Your highness’ or have you forgotten that you’re working for the Prince of Alderaan?”

Rey blanched and realized that she’d made things so much worse for herself by giving him an opportunity to be insufferable. Here, she’d tried to maintain some semblance of formality between them, as if she hadn’t ridden his leg the last time they were together. And now, he’d gone and made her realize that, of course, he was a prince, so there’d always be an insurmountable distance between them.

She was such an idiot. But she wasn’t going to call him by his title, even if it _was _the proper, formal thing to do. “Maybe I’ll stick to Ben,” she sighed, defeated.

“You sure? I will say, I _do _have a preference for ‘your Highness’ in intimate settings,” he drawled.

Rey barely kept herself from growling. She was absofuckinglutely not going to be calling him “your Highness,” or “Prince” or anything to do with royal titles, and certainly not in any intimate situations between them—except there weren’t going to be any intimate situations between them, not again. Right?

A part of Rey never wanted to give Ben what he desired. One, because he was an ass. A celebrity brat with an ego to match. And two, it was way, way, _way _too dangerous to consider what it would be like to give in to someone like him, to imagine a scenario where she’d be open to calling him—no, _moaning _his title.

_Stupid, spoiled, arrogant, entitled—_

“Actually titled,” he miraculously cut into her internal monologue.

“Are you going to play the game where you pretend you can read my thoughts?”

“Who’s pretending?” he said before laughing at her furious expression. “Oh, Rey. You can’t hide anything from me. I don’t need to be able to read minds to know exactly what you’re thinking.”

“Bad trait for a bodyguard,” Rey grumbled.

Ben’s expression softened. “Don’t worry. I’m the only one who notices. Anyway, waiting here for you has taken up half of my day, on what’s already a busy day for me.”

Rey stepped back and gave a half-hearted bow. “Well, thank you for your graciousness. Shall we get to it, then?”

Ben’s lip quirked, and Rey realized that he was baiting her. “Yeah, let’s get to it, smuggler. Do we want to talk about what happened between us on Coruscant now, or wait till you pop later?”

Taking a deep breath, Rey managed to contain her fury. “Look, it was a onetime thing. I’m here professionally, I’m being paid—and _not _for secret trysts, okay?” she clarified at his amused look. “Being paid by your _mother._”

“Duly noted. C’mon then. 3PO is waiting for us at the shuttle,” Ben said with a little wave towards the turbolift.

“3PO?”

“My ‘droid, C-3PO. Well, my family’s protocol ‘droid. You might like him—he’s kind of high strung.”

“I’m going to pretend that’s not a thinly veiled jab at me,” Rey said as they walked side by side to the ‘lift.

“Oh, look at you. Not rising to the bait? This isn’t going to be as much fun as I thought, then.”

Rey pressed the digital pad to call the ‘lift. “This isn’t fun. It’s work,” she replied.

“And work can’t be fun?”

“No. Work is professional. Get in, get done, and get out.”

Ben snorted. “I’ve had relationships like that too. I have to say, Rey, it’s more fun when you take a little time. Even professionally, better to make sure you’ve done a thorough job, isn’t it?”

The door for the ‘lift chimed as Rey huffed her way on. “And _how _thorough were you expecting?” she grated, this time letting him get under her skin.

“Depends on how much fun you want to have,” he replied as a brilliant smile worked its way onto his handsome face. “You know how much I enjoy having fun, but I get the feeling that _you _don’t have much fun. Maybe that’s something we can work on together?”

For a moment, Rey was struck dumb by his smile—the dimples in his cheeks, the way it transformed his face and messed up the smarmy, Aristo mask he often seemed to wear. Like this, with a real smile on his face, he was breathtakingly handsome. Almost wholesome looking, which was such a contradiction that she couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

She couldn’t affect grumpiness to _that _face. “Ben, I’m here to work. I need to keep you safe. What if one of your rabid fans breaks out of line and uhh… tries to grope you?”

Ben shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time. And besides, I’ve handled worse.”

Rey was about to ask him just what he was talking about, but the ‘lift chimed again as the doors split open and Ben stepped out before she could ask. His ‘droid was waiting for them at the upper-level docking bay. The ‘droid was humanoid, and its body was a brilliant, glittering gold color—because of course, Ben had a golden ‘droid—and he just as high strung as Ben had promised.

“Master Ben!” the ‘droid cried in his Core-accent. “We are dangerously close to being late for the auction.”

“It’s fine, 3PO. They can’t start without me. Anyway, this is my bodyguard, Rey.”

The ‘droid turned its unblinking gaze on her. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mistress Rey.”

Rey balked. “Oh, no. Please, you don’t have to call me ‘Mistress.’ Just ‘Rey,’ thanks.”

Ben smirked as 3PO started to prattle, “I am afraid that would be against my programming. However, there are many other honorifics I could use—”

Rey held her hands out in front of her to stop him from listing all the honorifics that were possible in the millions of different languages that he likely knew how to speak. “You know what? Miss works, how about that?” she suggested.

“Oh, gladly!” 3PO chirped. “Again, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Rey. Please inform me if there is any way in which I might be of help to you.”

Rey smiled. Ben was right. She did kind of find the ‘droid endearing in an anxious sort of way. And his personality _did _remind her of her tendency to catastrophize or offer up solutions to things that weren’t actually problems.

3PO ran through Ben’s schedule as they made their way through the hangar before entering a white shuttle—Executive class, from the looks of it. Not massive, but not small either. Definitely nicer than the shuttles she and Finn normally managed to scrape up while on assignment. The interior was dark and plush, a contrast to the stark white of the exterior, and seemed to be fitted with a variety of amenities, including a drink bar. Rey settled into a wide chair as Ben snagged seat beside her before she could lift her legs on it.

“Time for a nap, I think,” Ben said as Rey sighed.

“Must be hard having everyone love you and serve you all the time,” she quipped.

“You have no idea. Can I borrow your shoulder?” he teased.

“Absolutely!”

“Really?”

Rey laughed. “No. I’m your bodyguard, remember? I have to keep alert in case anything happens while we’re flying.”

Ben huffed a little with mock disappointment. “Next time,” he assured her.

And then, to her surprise, he did take a nap. The sound of rain hitting the exterior of the ship was actually kind of soothing. It did rain on Takodana, but not quite like how it did on Arkanis, which was known for being in an almost constant state of rain. It wasn’t a long ride to his apartment and 3PO had made most of the arrangements before her arrival. Ben was going to change, prep, and then they were off to the charity event.

3PO had run through the details of the even on their way to Ben’s apartment, as well, though her datapad had also given Rey a brief idea of what was going on. Apparently, attendees would bid on dates for charity. And the winning bids got to be seen on the town with Ben Solo—and some other prominent individuals, Rey didn’t recognize many of the names. While Ben slept, Rey did some research on the event hall and attendees.

Armitage Hux was going to be there and, as 3PO had said, he’d called in a favor from Ben for this event. Rey wondered whether it would be awkward having the two of them together, given how public their breakup had been, but she decided that maybe it would just be entertaining. It’d be nice to see Ben squirm a little.

The flight into the city center took about 20 minutes, and Ben was up again before Rey had to wake him. A few minutes more, and they were in his apartment. It was open, minimalist, and let a lot of light in, despite the dreary gray from the clouds outside. With a sunken living room that blended into the kitchen, and a long hallway that led off into several rooms, it was about a hundred times larger than what she was used to.

3PO was kind enough to take her poncho, which left her in her work clothes. But from the look Ben was giving her, she might as well have been wearing nothing at all. Rey did her best not to blush under Ben’s heated gaze.

She was just wearing her normal work clothes—dark pants and shirt, and her chest was fitted with light, fiber armor plating. It was all tightly cut to keep from getting caught on anything and far from the sexiest thing she’d ever worn around him, but Ben was staring at her like he was having a hard time keeping his hands to himself.

Rey coughed a little, breaking the tension as she asked, “Shoes off or on?” She had traveled enough to know that not everyone appreciated shoes on and, given that there was some soft looking carpet throughout much of the apartment, she thought to ask.

“Off, preferably. Unless it will hinder your work?” Ben commented while settling her bag at the entrance before slipping off his soft-looking leather boots.

“I can kick ass with shoes on or off,” she assured him. “Just didn’t want to ruin your carpet.”

Ben's lips curled into an amused half-smile. “Appreciated. I’m going to go get ready. 3PO can help you with finding food or refreshments. Be sure to eat and drink all that you’d like. I don’t know how good the food will be at this event and I’d rather you not go hungry,” Ben said before disappearing into the closest room. It was almost sweet that he made sure she ate, at least until a “You’re grumpier when you don’t eat,” floated from within his room.

_Ass, _Rey thought. Even though he was right, though how he knew it was beyond her. Rey assumed Ben had retired to his bedroom and wondered where hers would be, given that she was scheduled to help him throughout his trip to Arkanis. She’d be on the planet for just over two days.

_Hopefully, my room is far enough away from his that I’ll be able to resist the temptation to be close to him…_

Rey decided to worry about sleeping arrangements and where to put her things later. Instead, she’d focus on more important things, like food. Rey didn’t ever turn down free food, and 3PO helped her find some fresh fruits, including meiloorun melon, which was a favorite of hers. Though, Rey didn’t often have much of a chance to eat it, given that it was hard to track down on Takodana and had to be shipped in from off-planet.

After thanking 3PO for his help, Rey stepped over to the sunken living room and managed to balance her plate of fruit while settling into a low couch. She had to admit, it was pretty comfortable if a little excessive. At least eight sentients could fit on the long, wide couch. Though as she slipped back and settled in, Rey began to appreciate how comfy it was.

Rey snacked and tried to keep herself from relaxing too much and, soon enough, banging noises from Ben’s room caught her attention. “You okay in there?”

Ben groaned. “Yes, I’m just having some trouble finding the right damn thing to wear—3PO, can I get your help with this?”

Had she ever heard him curse before? She wasn’t sure, but she wondered if the way he spoke was also a part of his public persona. She, on the other hand, cursed loudly and often. It would probably be best to shelve that bad habit for the time being. Being vulgar would only draw more attention to herself, and she didn’t need that considering being his bodyguard was already putting her front and center.

Rey watched as 3PO shuffle-walked towards Ben’s room. Rey could just make out Ben’s voice grumbling something about ‘This is why I don’t agree to do jobs like this.’

“What do you even do for work, anyway?” Rey wondered while Ben fussed around. It sounded like he was tearing his room apart and, judging from the indignant cries from his ‘droid, he _was _pulling his room apart.

“Work?” Ben’s incredulous voice sounded from somewhere deep in his room. “I guess you could say I get paid to play a part,” his voice trailed off as he went further into his room—probably further into a closet. Rey hadn’t seen his bedroom, but given how much space the rest of his ‘apartment’ had, she imagined it was endless.

_Paid to play a part? What a stupid fucking Aristo thing to say._

An amused laugh rang out from the bedroom and either he’d found what he was looking for or he’d been able to divine her thoughts, yet again. Rey was too irritable off to care, either way. Here she was, the last place in the galaxy she _should _be, just nanoseconds away from being outed as the supply closet hussy that Ben had been with.

Not that GG had called her a hussy, per se. But Rey knew what would happen if someone like her was revealed as being… well, not in a relationship with, but connected to someone like Ben. Maybe he was right and she should take his help—at least until she figured out how to navigate the whole bodyguard to an Aristo thing.

The galaxy’s preeminent bachelor—slumming, with someone like her? Yeah. Game over, Rey! And for what, a piece of Aristo ass? Rey sighed, angry that she couldn’t quite convince herself that it wouldn’t be worth it. Finally, Ben finished dressing, but whatever teasing remark she’d been planning on saying to him about taking forever to get ready died on her lips as he finally stepped out of his room.

Today, he was playing the part of ‘Prince of Alderaan,’ it seemed. Rey just barely kept her mouth from dropping open as Ben stepped into the hallway, dressed in a black outfit that was halfway between a dress and a jumpsuit, looking just like he’d stepped off of a Coruscanti runway.

Ben looked every bit the prince he was. His dark hair was brushed to the side in a messy wave. No hair jewelry with this look, but an elaborate chain slipped against the pale skin of his chest. His makeup was almost subdued, especially for him. A dark mark sat high on his left cheek, speaking to his reverence for the matrilineal side of his family. And the only bit of color on his face was his plum-colored lips, which looked plush and achingly kissable.

“That’s quite the… Wow,” Rey sputtered before she could stop herself.

Ben huffed a little before adjusting the deep buttons on the top part of his outfit, popping the buttons until it flowed against his chest in a deep V. He popped the buttons on his long sleeves and arranged his necklace while he admitted, “It’s old, and I’m sure I’ll get called out for recycling outfits, but I’ve been looking for an excuse to wear it again. I’m glad you approve.”

“Would you change if I didn’t?” Rey wondered as she popped the final piece of fruit into her mouth before setting the plate down on the couch. She awkwardly shuffled off of the huge couch and made her way over to where Ben was standing.

“No, but I do so enjoy having your approval, as infrequently as it comes my way,” Ben replied with a wink.

C-3PO followed from behind, a pair of heels clutched in his golden hands. “The shoes you were looking for, Master Ben,” the ‘droid explained before handing them over.

Waves of gem-encrusted tulle fanned out from waves hips, glittering as he stepped into a pair of obscenely high heels. 3PO shuffled from Ben’s apartment and left to prepare the shuttle, muttering all the while about how ‘difficult princes could be,’ which was just the best. Ben was right, Rey _did _like the ‘droid.

“You can walk in those?” Rey marveled as the ‘droid left, leaving her and Ben alone. If Rey wore anything other than flats, and she’d be on her ass or skittering around like a newborn fathier.

“Walk, dance… Usually the last piece of clothing I take off,” Ben assured her with a wink as she slipped her boots on.

Rey knew exactly what he was implying, but she didn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her get flustered over the thought of him overwrought, pale skin flushed, lips parted, as he laid spread out in only his heels.

Nope. She’d take that thought with her to the grave, but he certainly would be none the wiser. Seeing him dressed like this had been quite enough excitement for her for one day. Though, Ben always did manage to catch her off guard with his fashion choices. Rey wondered what it must be like to have a closet with more than a few things hanging in it, to the point that he had to dig through the excess to find something to wear. She’d packed half of what she’d owned for the trip, and then a few items from Rose on top of it.

But it was fine. All of her extra credits were being saved for a one-way ticket to out of smuggling town. She could worry about looking nice when she had the life she wanted. And, besides, she’d noticed the way Ben’s eyes lingered on the tight lines of her clothes. If his attention was anything to go by, she didn’t look half bad when she was dressed to kill—literally.

Ben’s trademark shimmer caught the light, the sheen of his skin reflecting much in the same way as his outfit. “It might get a little wild,” he warned her.

“Wild, how?”

Ben shrugged a little. “I’m popular,” he said as if it was everything she needed to know.

Rey choked out a laugh. “Yeah, I’m well aware. What does that mean for today’s security?” She’d seen the pap-holos of events that he’d attended, but those were full of security details, so things stayed pretty much on the level.

“Oh, well. You’re it for me. And 3PO. Normally, I can handle things myself, but my mother’s been worried lately, and besides, why wouldn’t I want the chance to spend some more time with my favorite smuggler?”

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Ben,” she assured him.

“Ah, can’t fault me for trying?”

“I suppose not. Anything else I need to know about this event?”

“My ex will be there.”

“I read. Should I expect tears and drama?”

Ben huffed softly. “Tears aren’t Armitage’s style.”

“The silent treatment then got it. Anything else?”

His lip quirked at her sass. “No. Can’t wait for you to see how the rest of the galaxy fawns over me,” he said with a yawn, his plush, plum-colored lips making a perfect ‘O’ before his hand came up to cover his face. “Sorry, I’m tired today,” he mumbled around the yawn. “Hope there are refreshments at the auction—and caf.”

Rey cocked her head to the side. “Tired, from what?”

Ben grinned. “If you only knew,” he replied but didn’t elaborate. Rey made up her own story, assuming he’d had a late-night tryst and was still tired from it.

“You’re going to bring me nothing but trouble,” Rey mused before sliding her feet into her sensible boots.

“Undoubtedly,” Ben agreed. “But at least you can be certain that things will never be boring between us.”

“Oh, boring’s not in your dictionary, Ben. But I’ll settle for marginally eventful.”

“Marginally, how?”

“Just keep me out of the gossip holos and we’re good,” Rey explained.

Ben hummed thoughtfully. “I wouldn’t worry about that. You’re not the first bodyguard I’ve ever had, though you might be the prettiest. Galaxy Glitter doesn’t generally seem to care about my staff.”

“‘Might’ be?” Rey balked.

“Well, I once was under the protection of the most glorious Wookiee.”

“A Wookiee? Seriously?”

“A coat like you wouldn’t believe. It was _immaculate,_” Ben explained before he stepped closer to Rey. His face scrunched up as he stared right at her mouth. “He was definitely cleaner than you, smuggler.”

Before Rey could ask what he meant by that, Ben was reaching out and gently brushing at the corner of her mouth. She must have gotten some fruit stuck there and not realized. She really _was _a mess compared to him, wasn’t she?

Rey was about to make an excuse, but Ben popped a finger into his mouth and sucked it clean. “Sunshine _and _fruit today,” he mused. “Wonder what flavor of Rey tomorrow will bring for me?”

A sharp exhale and the color rising to her cheeks gave away exactly what she was remembering and the last time he’d commented on how she ‘tasted.’

“You are the worst.”

“It’s not my fault that my bodyguard is so… juicy,” he beamed. “How can I resist such a temptation?”

Rey huffed. “I don’t know, but considering most sentients up until now have managed to do just fine ignoring me, I don’t see why it’s going to be a problem for you.”

“That’s because you don’t see what I see.”

“And what’s that?” Rey asked without really expecting anything. Of course, as he was wont to do, Ben surprised her with his candor.

“I see someone who puts up a wall to keep the galaxy out. And I sense kindness and strength. And someone who is far more honorable than I’ll ever manage to be.”

“I run spice for a living,” Rey deadpanned.

“We all do what we need to do to survive. And, from what I gather, Maz is getting out of that business soon. Besides, I know she only runs for Aristos. Honor among thieves, and all that.”

Rey pursed her lips. Just how much did he know about what went on with Maz and, more to the point, how? Of course, his mother would probably have access to more information than Rey could ever dream of, but why would Ben be concerned about what went on with Maz?

Still, in an attempt to keep his words from taking root in her heart, Rey quipped, “You think all that just because you don’t know me very well.”

“That’s partially true, though I think I know better than you realized. And besides, I’m trying to remedy that.”

“Well, don’t get your hopes up, Solo.”

“I am a realist. Though, I do know at least some of your weaknesses.”

“Oh yeah, like what?”

“Food… and me.”

“I am perfectly capable of resisting you,” Rey stammered because it wasn’t exactly true, was it? Even if she wasn’t touch-starved and needy, she’d be drawn to him. He was the personification of every decadent dream that she’d stamped down on until she could go on, and drudge through her day-to-day. He was every dream she’d banished in an effort to stay focused and eke out some sort of living. People who were just trying to survive didn’t get to have dream princes like Ben Solo. Dreaming big was beyond someone like her.

And Ben _really was_ a prince, straight out of her holovids, and worst of all, he wanted her. Spice smuggler, desert rat, nothing that she was. He wanted _her._ It hurt her heart to think about it. So many sacrifices in a life where she’d never truly had enough. Her gaze met his and though she said nothing, she knew that he understood, somehow. His hand came up and gently brushed across her cheek, soothing her.

His hand continued on its path, fingertips brushing softly along the curve of her neck as he sweetly urged, “Tell me that again.” He nearly begged her to deny him as if he needed to hear it as well, as if he was struggling to keep from giving in just as badly as she was.

Rey closed her eyes and tried to ignore the intoxicating way he invaded her senses. Scent, touch, the feel of his proximity, it wasn’t natural—couldn’t be. No other person had ever made her feel the way Ben did. And she could say it, that she could resist him, she could force the lie from her lips, but she didn’t want to—either lie to or resist him.

So, she opened her eyes, held his gaze, and said the next best thing. “No.”

His eyes sparkled with amusement. She’d given him what he wanted without actually giving him what he wanted. “I do enjoy it when you take that authoritative tone with me,” he murmured. “Especially when you’re pressing into my touch.”

Was she? When he was close to her, it almost felt as if she lost control of her body. Somehow, her hand had come up and was resting against his exposed chest. Was she reaching out to touch or hold him back? Probably both. He was hot to the touch and she just barely kept herself from trailing her short nails over his skin.

“I’m just keeping things decent between us,” she explained, even as her free hand came up to curl into the flowing tulle at his hip.

“But I’m trying my hardest to be _indecent_,” Ben explained as Rey gave a little sigh—breathless or exasperated? It was hard for her to make sense of her emotions when he was so close.

_You’re being paid to be here. You’re being paid by his mother to be here. You’re a professional! Act professionally!_

Ben’s long fingers skimmed along her neck before threading into her hair. His touch was firm but gentle. Goosebumps prickled along her skin, her body tightened, and she waited.

His breath ghosted against her lips and her eyes fluttered in anticipation. “Sometimes, professionals have to get their hands a little dirty,” he said in that uncanny way of his, answering her pervasive thoughts while working to undermine her resolve. “Shall we see if this lipstick is as kiss-proof as they claim?” he asked softly.

Rey didn’t know what to say to that, but her tongue dipping out was answer enough. She couldn’t have been more obvious about what she wanted, and yet he hesitated. His eyes looked like warm honey as he stared down at her. Ben swallowed hard, plush plum-colored lip captured between his white teeth as he took a deep, deep breath.

Just when she thought he was going to do the right thing and pull back, he let out a soft, shuddering breath, and bridged the gap between them. And when his hands held her tight, when his lips pressed against hers, when her arms came up to wrap around his neck, it was like coming home.

He knew what she liked—what she needed from him, even if she didn’t want to admit it to herself. He tasted like sweet Corellian cinnamon, like one of the few precious treats she’d enjoyed during her short time at Maz’s. He _was _a treat, and altogether too addictive, just the same.

Rey leaned into Ben, letting him take her weight as his free arm wrapped around her middle to hold her, her body crushed against the plumes of crinkly fabric that surrounded him. Her head fell back, and he deepened the kiss as her lips slipped open, tongue curling with hers as she clung to him.

Breathing felt optional when he kissed her, such an irrational, impossible thought that _he _was sustaining her life, and not the air around them. That’s how he made her feel—nonsensical, drugged even. And each kiss, each touch, winnowed away her defenses, working on her mind and body, bit by bit. Wearing her down until she was stripped to her most base desires.

Just him. Just her. No galaxy or past or social classes acting as a barrier between them. Just a kiss. Just a touch. _Just just just…_

Ben plucked her bottom lip between his own, sucking as he finally pulled back. For a moment, his gaze took on an almost ferocious look, and Rey was certain that he was warring with himself and his desire. It was entrancing, and she felt relieved that she wasn’t the only one who was being overwhelmed by feeling.

He swallowed, muscles in his neck rippling as he held himself back. “I’m not used to denying myself,” he explained.

“Denial is all that I’ve ever known,” she replied, truth spilling from her lips as Ben held her in his arms. She shouldn’t tell him that. He could use it against her, but what was the use? He could just feel her thoughts, or whatever it was that he did, and find out the truth that way. It wasn’t like she could hide much from him. Her body warred with her mind, but her desire was starting to win out over her good sense.

He said nothing to that, but his face took on a curious expression as she tipped her chin back and studied at his handsome face. The faint shimmer he favored was smeared from their kisses, but his lipstick, as promised, was kiss-proof.

“Indulge with me,” he wickedly suggested. “And we can change that.”

That was the hard part, wasn’t it? She wanted to indulge in him and coming up with excuses as to why she shouldn’t give in was getting harder and harder. Heartbreak? Loss? What was that to someone who never _had _love and family and worth, to begin with?

In a life of nothingness, would experiencing _something _be too hard to let go of once it came to its inevitable conclusion? Or would it give her sad little life a sharp spark of belonging, even if only for a moment?

Rey knew she couldn’t keep her heart from Ben Solo, and that, once she gave in, that was it. But she never believed that he’d return the acute affection from someone as love-starved as herself. She held back precisely because she could not hold back at all once she gave herself over. The few times she’d trusted back on Jakku, her trust had been rewarded with betrayal.

Ben wouldn’t betray her, would he? How could he? No, he’d only break her heart when he finally got bored with her. But what kind of heart did a smuggler have, anyway? It had already been broken into a million pieces, with shards that had been gnawed on by disappointment and hardship. Could a heart like hers even understand something like heartache anymore?

More and more, she wanted to find out. Push herself to the limit of experience with someone like Ben. What could go wrong?

_Everything, _the still somewhat sensible part of her brain reminded her.

_He’d be worth it, _her heart beat back.

Rey came to some sort of conclusion about Ben and what to do next. Whether sensing her shift or reflexing naturally to whatever her face and body were telling him, Ben seemed to reach his own conclusions, and what he did next caught her off guard.

Gently, like she was something soft and precious, and not a battle-hardened smuggler from a wasted, stagnant planet, he pulled her into his arms and held her. Heartbeats beating in time as their breath and warmth mingled. It wasn’t the first time he’d just held her and Rey wondered how he instinctually seemed to know how much the simple gesture meant to her.

She was slowly coming to realize that she wasn’t quite right about Ben. Maybe his life had been easier compared to hers, but maybe it hadn’t. There was something there, just under the surface, that spoke to his pain and disappointment, and the longing and loneliness that comes from a lifetime of feeling forgotten. Surrounded, but alone. Not even his birthday was his own.

So much of Ben had always been shared with the galaxy, so much so that he was more myth than a man to some. And that must have been hard. Different from how things were hard for Rey, surely. But hard in its own way. Rey’s arms came up and wrapped around his strong middle as she held him right back.

After long moments, his head ducked in and Ben pressed a tight kiss to her brow, before sighing. “C’mon, let’s get to the event before I do something reckless like take you to my bed.”

Rey got the impression he was dead serious and, this time, she didn’t think she had sense enough to resist him, so it was probably good he was showing some restraint. Still, Rey was somewhere between disappointed and relieved as he slipped his hand down from the back of her neck, and stepped away from her, taking his heat and scent and alluring presence with him.

But he didn’t lead the way. Ben stopped and held his hand back to her, waiting until she’d gently threaded her fingers with his own as they walked out into the afternoon, hand in hand, blissfully unaware of what awaited them at the auction.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Did you know that cinnamon exists in SW land? Because I checked before I threw it in here (most of the things I throw in here, I check before I do. Just because it’s an AU, doesn’t mean I don’t try to make it as in world as I can haha). Most things I try to check to see if there’s an in-universe equivalent before throwing it in here. How’s that for accuracy in a fic that’s AU lol. All well, if I wanted easy, I’d not write SW fanfic hahaha. Anyways, thanks so much for all of your lovely comments and kudos and for reading! How many credits will it take for ONE DATE with Ben Solo?

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	10. To Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey make their way to the auction on Arkanis. Ben helps Rey with her hair, while resists the alluring temptation of his lap–for now.

Rey was half-way to the shuttle before she realized that she’d forgotten Rose’s combat umbrella, plus the other things she needed for her job. It was like Ben had taken her hand, and all thoughts and reason had flown right from between her ears. How embarrassing. Fortunately, 3PO had to run back to grab some accessories for Ben, who changed his mind about an outfit halfway into the shuttle, so he grabbed Rey’s bag of things.

The length of the shuttle’s interior could fit at least six sentients, but it was just Ben and Rey sitting on the wide, nerf leather seats. With tinted windows and holo displays, the shuttle was more intimate than the craft they’d taken from the docks, and Rey was acutely aware of how extremely alone with Ben she was.

Fortunately, Rey was able to find a space to sit that didn’t put her into direct contact with him. Because she already knew how susceptible she was to this man’s touch and the last thing she needed was to be distracted on the way to a job. 3PO slipped Rey’s bag into the shuttle before closing off the back compartment and settling himself in the front, which truly meant she was alone with Ben, and soon after, they were off.

She’d opted for a covert blaster this time around. Normally, she’d have a holster at her hip, plus any number of other backup weapons in her boots or in hidden pockets, but Maz had insisted she not draw attention to herself. While the threats against Leia Organa were credible, there was no reason to believe that there was any reason to be overly concerned about Ben, at least, not yet.

They were more likely to run into deranged fans, than anything else. And Rey was quite certain she could handle that. Still, she wasn’t going in completely unarmed and her cover blaster—a remodeled version of the A280-CFE, was nestled along her back, just in case.

Rey stared out of the shuttle windows, marveling at the rain, which had started to pelt the craft as soon as it had made it sway out of the hanger. Rey was glad that she had her combat umbrella, for the rain, if nothing else. As the shuttle skimmed along through the air, the windows darkened as the privacy tinting was activated, blocking the outside world from seeing in.

Ben looked over at where she sat as the shuttle slipped through the airspace. She was about as far from him as she could manage. He didn’t comment on it, but his eyebrow quirked and she knew he was laughing at her on the inside.

_Don’t be a dick, _was what she thought.

What she said was, “I thought you were ready? Why’d you send 3PO back for more clothes?”

A slow smile spread across his face and Rey knew he’d heard her thoughts loud and clear. “I’m ready for the red carpet, but not the main event. I’d be eviscerated if I didn’t have at least _one _change between being seen and being auctioned.”

Rey made a face while Ben stretched his long arm over the back of the plush seat. His legs slid open, spreading wide as he settled in for the ride. His clothes shimmered as he moved and Rey tried to keep herself from staring, but the glitter of his clothing kept drawing her eye—that, and the fact that he was all laid out, indolent, and beautiful.

Normally, it was irksome to Rey when sentients spread themselves out like they were the supreme leader of the galaxy, but not with Ben. No, if anyone _was_ the supreme leader of the galaxy, it was him, anyway. But with his legs and arms wide, and his body relaxed, it honestly looked like an invitation more than posturing.

She could settle into that lap, get comfy on those thick, muscular legs, and then…

_Shit. No. Not now. Think of something else. The weather. The rain. Uhh…_

It was suddenly way too hot in the shuttle and Rey, scrambling for something to distract herself with, asked, “How long will it take to get to the event?”

Ben dipped his head, side-swept, dark hair skimming over his shoulder as he replied, “About thirty minutes. Why? What were you wanting to get up to?”

Rey swallowed thickly. Again, caught in the act of admiring him. She tried to play it off with some sass. “I just need to know how long I’ve got to sit here and deal with you for.”

Ben leaned forward. Long legs sliding up, and arms shifting so he could rest his head on his palm and look at her. “The only one who needs to be dealt with is you, Rey. Come here.”

“Excuse you?” she balked.

“Come. Here. You’re a mess.”

“And?”

“And I can fix it,” he assured her with a sharp smile that did nothing to ease her concerns. “So, be a good girl, and come here.”

For one, horrifyingly long moment, Rey had the distinct impression that he was going to curl off of his seat, crawl over to where she sat, and pull her over to him. And that was the _last _thing she’d be able to handle. Far from looking submissive, the very thought of Ben crawling over to someone like _her _made her core clench. He was every bit the predator in this situation, and she needed to act wisely unless she wanted to lose her head.

_Or my heart._

Before he could move, Rey was shuffling awkwardly through the shuttle and taking a seat beside him. Which was what he wanted, but at least it took away the possibility that he’d crawl across the shuttle before hauling her to his side.

“What do you want?” she grumbled, entirely put out that her plan to keep about as far away from him as possible had failed.

Naturally, he’d realized her plan from the start, and was elated that he’d gotten his way. Ben hummed a lovely tune as he pressed into the side panel of the shuttle. It opened with a soft _hiss, _revealing what seemed to be some sort of hidden makeup cabinet.

“You have lovely hair,” Ben said while fishing around in the cabinet. “And I understand the inclination to keep it in a braid for your work, but let me show you how things were done on Alderaan.”

Rey didn’t know much about the tragic planet, but she knew enough not to be blunt about it. “Did your mother tell you stories about it?”

Ben turned back to her, a soft smile in place. “Yeah, and fortunately there is enough of a diaspora that many of the traditions and customs were able to be passed down. I grew up on their fairy tales,” he said before urging Rey to turn around.

She hesitated, so he added, “I don’t bite. Not unless you ask _very _nicely.”

“You’re the worst,” Rey huffed but turned around so her back was facing him, none the less.

“And that’s why you adore me,” he said before his hand reached up and pulled at the tie in her hair.

Ben’s fingers threaded through her hair. It was getting kind of long, but getting a haircut was just another expense that she didn’t want to deal with. Generally, if she complained enough to Rose or Finn, one or the other would help her with it, anyway. But getting help from her friends wasn’t quite the same as getting it from Ben.

The way he touched her… It wasn’t friendly, it was intentional. His fingers gently massaged her scalp as he slowly worked the braid from her hair—her friends most definitely didn’t do that. The gentle pressure was both relaxing and distracting because it was really hard to stay grumpy when he was so lovingly skimming along the sensitive skin of her hairline.

Eventually, a brush replaced his fingers, and Rey had to take a shaky breath at how nice it felt to have someone else gently work with her hair. Ben kept humming the same soft tune as before and it was so lulling that Rey felt a little drowsy.

“What song is that?” Rey wondered softly while Ben gently guided her hair where he wanted.

“It’s a lullaby my mother used to sing me,” he murmured.

“Oh,” Rey replied because she didn’t know what else to say. From what she could recall, no one had ever sung her a lullaby before. And it was… nice, actually.

Ben was remarkably good with his hands, and in no time at all, he had her hair braided and tied off. It was much better than what she’d started with as her hair was off of her shoulders and entirely out of the way, meaning it wouldn’t distract her from her bodyguard duties.

“Where’d you learn to do something like this?” Rey wondered. She’d gotten the sense that Aristos didn’t much do anything for themselves, so the fact that Ben could style hair so well was a little surprising. Then again, he was always surprising her in one way or another.

“I learned it from my mother. Hairstyles have meaning in Alderaanian culture and it was important to her that this part of her heritage was passed down,” he revealed. That was kind of interesting. Rey added it to the list of things that could have special meanings to Aristos—beauty marks, clothing colors, hairstyles…

“And what does this one mean?” Rey asked while she shifted around to look at him.

At first, he looked a little sheepish, but then he smiled and said, “I’m not sure. My mother was always better at this kind of thing. It’s been so long since we last talked about it, that I can’t quite remember. But I always loved this kind of braid. Looked brilliant in the holos she used to show me as a kid.”

For some reason, Rey got the feeling that he was lying, but maybe he was just embarrassed that he’d forgotten. Either way, the style felt comfortable, even if it was more elaborate than what she’d done to her hair before. Rey’s fingers skimmed over the pattern he’d woven into her hair, trying to get a sense of what it looked like, but Ben reached back and grabbed a hand mirror from the compartment for her.

“Thanks.”

“I hope you like it,” he said, looking sweet and vulnerable enough that she had to look away or risk falling even deeper for him.

Rey took a quick peek in the mirror, and she had to admit, it looked lovely. Starting at the front of her dark hair, he’d woven a braid along the side before fashioning the remainder into a loose bun. Two small woven locks had been tied into the hair at her nape, but they were pulled and tied into the main braid. It almost looked protective, the way the smaller braids wound around the main construction.

The only time her hair ever looked this nice was when Finn did it for assignments. She’d have to see if she could find anything about Alderaanian culture later, but for now, she thanked him and tried not to let him know just how much she’d enjoyed having him play with her hair by gushing too much.

“You’re a professional,” Rey marveled as she handed the compact mirror back to Ben. “If the whole Aristo thing doesn’t work out, I’d say you’ve got quite the future in hairstyling.”

His eyebrow quirked. “High praise, coming from you.”

Rey shrugged. “When it’s due, it’s due. Though, I’m beginning to understand why your hair always looks so nice. And here, I thought a droid did it.”

Ben shook his head. “There’s only one droid I trust in my life, and he’s no good at hairstyles—gods know, we’ve tried. But on to the next step for you…” Ben trailed off.

“What else?”

“Well, I’m not saying you should put some makeup on.”

“Well good, because I did not mentally prepare for that today.”

“Which is why I’m not saying it,” he assured her. “But I am going to recommend some powder. The cameras are merciless and unless you want to look as reflective as one of Iego’s thousand moons…”

“Okay, I get your point. Powder me up, I guess.” Rey could recall instances where Aristo makeup had gone awry—glossy faces, smeared makeup, that sort of thing. Galaxy Glitter was always merciless when one of them had a slip-up. The last thing she needed to be remembered as was Ben Solo’s glowing bodyguard. The less attention she drew, the better.

Ben seemed relieved that Rey’d given in so easily and quickly slipped his hand into the compartment to fish out what she needed.

“If you could just shimmy a little bit…”

“Oh, sure,” Rey said while shifting her hips.

She was about to shuffle back a little so he could properly tend to her face, but as she shifted, some sudden turbulence shook the shuttle, and powerless to stop herself, Rey fell right into Ben’s lap.

And her suspicions were confirmed. His lap was a very nice place to be, indeed. _Too _nice, if she was being honest because, this close, it was very hard to resist the allure of his presence. The way his scent coiled around her heart—the way his heat drew her in—the soft smile he gave her while she stared up at him, lips parted, as she forgot herself entirely.

He was good at that, making Rey forget herself. His hands came down to steady her body as he gently shifted off of his legs and back into her seat and she was almost sad to lose that closeness. Ben plucked the compact from where it had landed and swiped some makeup onto the pad before holding it between them.

“Ready?”

Rey sighed. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“You’ll thank me when it keeps your face from glowing in the holos later.”

“Hopefully, I won’t be in any holos,” Rey said as she closed her eyes. The gentle swipe of the cosmetic pad over her face was strangely soothing, or maybe it was just that she enjoyed Ben’s touch, no matter what it was doing.

“I hope so, too,” Ben admitted softly.

Rey opened one eye and peered at him as he applied the makeup. His face was concentrating on his work, a few lines had furrowed their way into his brow, and Rey had to admit that she found the look endearing. “Don’t want anyone seeing your nobody bodyguard?” she joked.

Ben shook his head but didn’t deviate from his work. “I know how bad the paps can be. I wouldn’t wish their attention on my worst enemy.”

“But… you’re always in the news!” she exclaimed softly.

“Not always when I want to be. It’s an addictive cycle. I hope to keep you entirely out of it.”

Her eyes flickered open as he pulled his hand away from her face. He wanted to keep her safe? That was remarkably sweet for someone who also seemed to take pleasure in pulling her into his world, despite her protests.

“I could just not work for you,” she suggested.

A scowl marred his handsome face. “Unacceptable.”

“Really? I mean, if you want to make sure that I stay out of the holos, I could just walk away right now.”

“I said I want you out of the press, not that I want you out of my life.”

“And why do you want me in your life, other than to drive me nuts, that is?”

“Do I drive you nuts?” he asked before reaching into the compartment again. This time, he slipped out what looked like some sort of lip gloss.

“A little.”

“In a good way?”

Rey huffed. “Sometimes, but you’re avoiding the question.”

Ben pulled the applicator wand out of the gloss, considered it thoughtfully for a moment, and then slid a coat of the clear makeup onto his full lips.

“Purse your mouth,” he directed.

“Hmm?”

Ben made a kissing face, which Rey mimicked, assuming he’d swipe the same clear gloss over her lips, and he _did, _but not in the way she expected. Ben slid his arm along the top of his seat to steady himself as he leaned close.

“What are you—?” Rey started, but Ben hushed her softly.

“Lips pursed, Rey,” was all he said before he softly plucked her lips between his own, gently kissing the gloss onto her mouth as Rey forgot to breathe.

It had to be the least effective way to get the stuff on her mouth, but Rey was about as far from caring as she could be. His lips were a little sticky from the gloss as he pressed against her mouth, again and again. The gloss tasted like artificial grapes, and though the impulse was there, she managed to keep her tongue from darting out to have a taste—of the gloss and of Ben.

_Okay, so maybe I won’t protest so much about wearing makeup if he’s going to put it on like this…_

After long, gentle moments, Ben pulled away and surveyed his look. Huffing softly, a smile spread across his face as he reached out to gently spread the gloss with his thumb.

“Perfect,” he breathed before dropping his hand.

“They’re a little purple,” Rey said softly as she looked at her lips in the mirror. The gloss mixing with his lipstick must have released some of the so-called kiss-proof makeup.

“Good,” Ben said with some finality.

“Why?”

“I like you dressed up in my colors,” he admitted with a wink, before cheekily clarifying, “Ideally, I’d like to see you dressed up in nothing but a hint of my colors on your lips, but I’ll take what I can get.”

Rey pinched the bridge of her nose. “Just couldn’t resist yourself, could you?”

“When it comes to you? Never.”

Rey was about to grumble something back, but shuttle stutter-stopped a little, and she realized it was because they’d into a shuttle procession.

“Are we close?” she asked. All she could see were more shuttles, no buildings or sentients yet.

“Probably. You going to be okay with all of this?”

Rey shrugged. “How bad can it be?” If Aristos could handle it, why wouldn’t someone like her be able to? She’d been in plenty of stressful situations before. How could this be any different?

“I’m not sure you’re not ready for this,” Ben mused while Rey wondered just how bad this while ‘celebrity thing’ could be if _he _was worried. “I should have prepared you better, but there wasn’t much time.”

“Nobody’s going to be looking at me with you there,” she assured him.

Ben cocked his head a little. “I hope so.”

“Don’t want to share the attention?” she quipped.

“Don’t want to share you, _period. _I have half a mind to keep you tied in the shuttle.”

“I’d like to see you try that.”

A satisfied smile spread across his face. “Normally, I’m the one that insists on being tied, but I’m willing to indulge you.”

Rey could feel her cheeks flushing, not only because of what he’d said but what his words had evoked. “You’re embarrassing me to distract me from being worried.”

“Am I that transparent?”

“Soon, you’ll have no secrets from me,” she threatened.

Ben laughed. “Oh, I doubt that. I have too many secrets, sweetness.”

“Mmm, that’s what they all say.”

The shuttle suddenly pulled up short before leveling out. They’d arrived at the event and, much to her horror, Rey did feel a little nervous.

“Shoulders back, chin up. A small smile, if you can manage it. Don’t forget to breathe. And don’t look directly into the flashes and ignore the yelling,” Ben directed while taking one last look at his makeup. His hands gently smoothed and arranged his clothing, which had been mussed a little during the trip.

Ben reached out and gently gave her hand a squeeze. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Okay,” Rey agreed, uncharacteristically compliant. She’d seen holos of Aristo events, but for some reason, it hadn’t dawned on her that she’d be a part of one while doing work for Ben until it was an inevitability. This was going to be some kind of experience for her.

The shuttle door hissed and opened a crack as the noise from outside flowed into the cabin. Voices were already calling his name, flashes were already anticipating his movement, the world waited for Ben Solo to reveal himself as he took a few moments to slide that Aristo mask into place.

“Come,” he said softly, voice resigned. “Step into my world.”

And Rey took a deep breath and readied herself for the chaos that was yet to come.

* * *

Author's notes: Any guesses on what her hairstyle means? Ben, you ole softy. Anyway, as things often do, the chapter got insanely long, so I had to break it up because I don’t wanna edit like 12k in one sitting. But! Fun fun, I’ll get the second part up fairly quickly. Just need to finish writing a scene to earn that “Inappropriate use of the Force” tag 😊 And just a warning, this might be a little longer than 20 chapters. I'm sorry! I originally did plot it out for a specific number, but when I sit down to write, Ben and Rey just keep talking (seriously). New moodboard has some teasers of things to come!

Thanks for reading and for all your lovely comments. I know Rey is sad and that’s kind of the point for me. A lot of the story (in canon) glossed over how truly horrible it would be to basically rase yourself and the fact that it would have a lasting impact on how you see the world and interact with it. But don’t worry. She’s definitely getting a stinking happy ending. Cheers!

I FORGOT. Wear safety belts. I thought about writing it in that they ignore the safety restraints, but like it's boring and how can she fall into his lap if she's strapped in? SHE CANNOT. PLUS this is fake and in space so yeah, TURBULENCE LAPS GLOSSY SPACE KISSES.

* * *

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	11. Slow Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As cameras flash and the crowd cries out for Ben, Rey trails along and does her best to keep him safe without being dazzled by the experience. Within the shelter of Ben's dressing room, Ben offers to give Rey a taste of his powers as they come to understand that maybe there's more to their attraction than they both realized. AKA: Inappropriate use of the Force!

The lights were flashing before the transport’s door had even opened. Ben carefully shimmied out of the craft, laughing and waving as Rey watched on from the shuttle. It looked like a bomb had gone off; it was so disorienting. The lights were so bright that Rey was temporarily blinded, which left her scrambling a bit as she followed behind Ben, combat umbrella high in hand as she tried to protect him from the rain and from anyone who might want to get too close.

As Rey’s eyes adjusted to the chaos, she realized two things simultaneously: one, Ben was right, she wasn’t ready for this; and two, she was painfully underdressed. She was suddenly quite glad that Ben had done her hair and makeup. At least she wouldn’t look entirely out of place. People were yelling, and so many lights were flashing, Rey worried that she wouldn’t be able to keep up with it all or Ben.

Finally, Ben came into focus. Rey quickly picked up her pace and came alongside him as he worked the crowd. First, he spoke with a holonist, but she wasn’t sure of their name—a Devaronian male who had painted his horns in red glitter, so they shone in time with the flashing lights. Rey could just make out their conversation, and when the holonist tried to change the topic to something salacious—Ben’s rumored love life of late, he shifted away with a smile before passing along to the next interviewer. There looked as if there was an endless line of sentients, all waiting for their chance to talk to _the _Ben Solo.

It all looked so natural, the way he moved, the smiles he shared, the low tenor of his laugh. Ben looked like he was in his element, as he seamlessly made his way down the reception line and closer to the venue. An energy field surrounded much of the area, which worked to repel the ceaseless Arkanis rain. As Ben stepped under its glow, Rey sheathed her umbrella. The building’s exterior was an edgy looking glass and metallic structure, and she could see the glittering interior which they were being funneled towards.

_The Escape, _evidently the venue’s name, scrolled on a giant holographic marquee. It was probably meant to look modern and be a sign of the world’s growing wealth and prestige, but Rey thought the whole presentation looked a little gaudy. But that was the whole Aristo world, wasn’t it?

And, as much as Rey found it abhorrent, a part of her was also drawn to it like a moth to the flame. And as the cameras flashed, and the crowd cried for more, Rey couldn’t help but wonder how many people ended up getting burned under the irrepressible light of fame?

Still, Ben flowed seamlessly through it all, and Rey hovered close enough that she could keep him safe, but far enough away that she didn’t have to deal with the holonist or his fans. The procession seemed endless and Rey didn’t know how he had the energy to answer the same questions over and over—how he was able to think on his feet and answer so obligingly to people who were all clamoring to find the latest piece of gossip to dig through. It was repugnant, and she was suddenly very grateful for her anonymity. How anyone lived like this was beyond her ability to comprehend.

_It must be… exhausting? _she thought. But maybe Ben was energized by it all? He must have been used to it considering how easily he passed through the line, while still making time for his fans who all but shrieked his name. Some were respectful, Rey thought as she watched them interact with Ben, and some were obviously looking to instigate some shit or resell signed photos.

The fact remained, as much as they all thought they loved him, they didn’t actually know him. Who _did _know Ben Solo? Did Rey even really know him? She wasn’t sure, but it seemed she was starting to be able to understand him—to know him, just a little. And though she knew the reasons why she shouldn’t get close, and they were numerous, she liked him a lot more than she’d have thought she would.

Physical attraction aside, because he was undeniably attractive to her, he was… More than he appeared to be and that realization came with its own set of challenges. To admit that Ben was more than she’d first thought would be taking a step down an unknown path, one where she was opening herself up to him and potential hurt.

Vulnerability hadn’t been rewarded in Rey’s life, but maybe the hard shell she’d built around her heart didn’t make her dissimilar to Ben at all. Maybe it made them similar, albeit with starkly different life experiences. Sometimes, she’d recognize that same kindred loneliness in his eyes. Even when he was playful, there was an edge to Ben that she recognized.

It was hard for Rey to trust, but maybe she needed to stop thinking in absolutes and start living in the moment? It could hurt, it could be bad, it could break her to open up to Ben, but wouldn’t he be opening himself up to the same potential for heartbreak as she? At first, it had almost been easy to dismiss him as a vapid, heartless Aristo, but the more time she spent with him, the more she realized her impressions of him hadn’t been entirely correct, which made things complicated.

Rey trailed close while Ben seamlessly worked the line, the flowing layers of his outfit glittering as the cameras flashed. He moved with an effortless sort of grace, despite his sky-high heels, and never once tripped up as he walked. Rey was not so secretly jealous of his poise and she had half a mind to make him spill all of his fashion secrets because she _knew _there had to be a trick to walking in shoes like that.

Smile after smile, question after question, picture after picture, Ben fielded it all and, after what felt like an eternity, he blew one final kiss to the crowd and they made their way inside. Rey had thought that the chaos would end after they got into the venue. She was about to be disappointed.

This wasn’t just a charity auction, it was a _party. _Glittering crystals descended from the ceiling in long ropes, casting their rainbow gleam around the entranceway as Rey was dazzled by the lights. Great columns were spread across the floor and within each, the impression of a dancer moving seductively. Every so often, the dancer would disappear, and swirling colors or brightly patterned artwork would take their place.

The whole effect was dizzying and Rey had to stop herself from reaching out and grabbing at Ben’s sleeve to keep grounded. Frenetic music resonated throughout the area and added to the din. It’d be hard to hear anything over the noise and, not for the first time, she wished she’d had the money for auricular enhancements. Considering she was supposed to be Ben’s bodyguard, being able to hear would have been nice.

_Glad I’m good at reading a crowd, _she thought.

Even the air was perfumed, which contrasted wildly from the sentients who were openly smoking tabac throughout the establishment. Serving droids and sentients served drinks and appetizers throughout the room, while a dark stage waited to be revealed behind thick, velvety curtains. The venue wasn’t full yet, which mean they still had time before the main event was to start. At least, that was what Rey hoped.

Just when Rey was about to ask Ben what they should expect next, a terse protocol droid found them and indicated that they were to follow along to a dressing room that had been reserved especially for Ben.

Tall, and fashioned from inky black metallic plating, the droid blended into the low light of the room, and almost seemed to disappear before their eyes. Rey thought the droid must be great at getting intel and jealously coveted that skill. Ben and Rey managed to stay close to the droid as they were led speedily through the crowd, behind the stage, and finally into a warm, dimly lit dressing room.

Refreshments had been, blessedly, already set out, and the droid offered to get anything they needed, though it seemed that they would have preferred to do anything but.

Ben took a look around the room. “I think this is sufficient. Would you let Armitage know I’ve arrived?”

“Indeed, this has already been done, sir,” the droid replied. “The event is scheduled to start in two hours. Is there anything else you require?”

“Just solitude and privacy. See that we aren’t disturbed until we’re needed for setup,” Ben directed.

“Very good, sir,” the droid said before quickly disappearing from the room. The door slid shut behind them, the locking mechanism engaging with a discernable click.

“Okay, so… what the fuck is all of this?” Rey managed when she and Ben were finally in private. “This doesn’t seem like some charity event. It’s a party!”

“I told you it was going to be a lot,” he replied before settling into a hover-chair that was set before a large dressing table and vanity mirror. Ben powdered his face before grabbing some cleansing wipes as he continued, “It’s all part of the show.”

“And you’re okay with this whole thing? They’re, what? Selling off your time for credits to some sort of cause?” Rey marveled.

Ben shrugged. “I owed Armitage, and it’s a small price to pay compared to what he managed to do for me.”

“And what _did _he do for you?” Rey asked.

Ben smiled at her through his reflection and Rey realized that was the only answer she was going to get. “You’re not doing a very good job at being honest with your bodyguard,” she grumbled.

“And my bodyguard isn’t doing a very good job at being trusting,” he replied.

“Where’s 3PO, anyway?” Rey asked.

Ben gestured to the room. A large wardrobe hovered in the corner and what looked like _all_ the makeup that could possibly exist in the galaxy had been set out on the dressing table. “He’s already been here. I imagine he’s doing exactly what I told him to do.”

“And what’s that?”

“Spying,” he joked. At least, she thought he was joking.

Rey rolled her eyes. “What are we going to do now? Sit and wait?”

Seemed to Rey that there was a lot of hurry up and waiting involved, which irked her because she did not like to waste time under any circumstances. Get in, get the job done, get out. But that sort of gumption didn’t sit well with people who were wont to indulge—and look good while they did it.

Ben’s lip quirked as his eyebrow raised. “We have some time and a very comfy looking couch.”

“I’m not sleeping with you on a couch, Ben,” Rey assured him.

“What about a bed? Or against the wall?” he quipped.

Rey rolled her eyes and tried to keep from imagining those scenarios because she knew, somehow, _he’d _know.

“Are you this charming with all sentients or is this just something you save for me?” she replied.

This time, Ben swiveled in his chair to face her. His face took on an uncharacteristically serious look as he quietly assured her, “There are so many things that I only do for you. It’s upsetting, really.”

“What is?”

“To lose my head so completely. You’ve got me wrapped around your finger and you hardly know it.”

Rey blinked, stuck between disbelief and shock as he turned away from her. Did he mean that? There was no way someone like her had any influence over a man like Ben, right? But the way he looked at her, his tone, it was all… so much like he meant it. Had she gotten this all wrong from the start?

“You’re hard for me to figure out,” Rey quietly admitted.

“I don’t see why,” Ben replied. “Most people seem to think that I’m an open book.”

Rey shook her head before staring into Ben’s reflection. “That’s just because they don’t know you very well.”

Ben smiled, and though he didn’t agree, Rey knew that she was right.

“Well, I have a solution to this dilemma. It’s time to share some dirty secrets,” he purred, and though it didn’t sound like he was taking this very seriously, Rey could tell that some of his levity was being used to diffuse her unease. He often used humor for her benefit, she realized. What other concessions had he made to put her at ease, she wondered.

Rey scrunched her face a little. “No, I can’t tell you all of my deep dark secrets. It would ruin your impression of me.”

“Funny. That’s exactly what I’m looking to do,” he replied while wiping the plum-colored lipstick from his face.

“What do you mean?”

“I’d love the chance to ruin your impression of me,” he said with a grin.

Maybe this was a chance to get into his head, and Rey wasn’t stubborn enough to deny him this time, even though he clearly wanted her to ask him about his secrets. Normally, she’d not take the bait, but she was curious about what he’d reveal.

Her shoulders slumped a little as she relented and urged, “Fine. Tell me a secret, Ben. And make it a good one.” Maybe she wasn’t quite ready to tell him all of her secrets, but she wasn’t opposed to learning some of his. Ben lived his life out in the open, or so it seemed, but there was a private side to him that not many were privy to. What made him tick? What motivated him? What secrets was he keeping—from his mother, from her? Despite herself, Rey wanted to know more about Ben.

He sat for a long moment, hand hovering in front of his face as he stared into the mirror. “I like the attention, but I know it’s not good for me,” he finally revealed.

“The fame?”

“Yeah, I like the fame, but not everything that comes with it. I know it’s fake—the love, the adoration—but I crave it.”

“And they’re all so willing to give it to you,” Rey added thoughtfully.

“They give me almost everything I need.”

“Almost, but not quite?”

His eyes flashed with amusement. “Exactly. And sometimes it’s…,” he trailed off.

“Lonely,” Rey finished for him. Somehow, she could feel it. The bone-deep sadness that came of a lifetime of feeling alone.

“Is that why I’m really here, Ben?” Rey wondered aloud. Had his mother arranged for her to be his bodyguard because she’d sensed some sort of connection between the two of them? Or was she hoping Maz would report back her findings from Rey’s debriefings? Maybe both. But it begged the question, why was Ben okay with it?

Did he want her close to him, too? And why? Why did he want her, not just close to him, but in his arms, pressed up against a wall close to him?

“Is it so hard to tell?” he asked softly.

“Yes! I wasn’t exactly nice to you when we first met. Hell, I’m still not that nice to you!” she rambled.

Ben laughed softly. “I like the challenge and I like you.”

“Why!?” she cried and stopped just before admitting that even _she _didn’t much like herself. An Aristo like him had no reason to fawn over someone like her. It was nonsensical!

“Ben, I’m... I don’t know…,” she trailed off. Words were hard when he was talking to her like this.

“I know,” he said softly.

And she knew that he was telling the truth. Whatever she was feeling, the fear, the disappointment, the frustration, the anger, she understood. It didn’t matter how he understood, he just did.

Rey nibbled her lip and tried to disperse some tension by urging, “Tell me another?”

Ben went back to his makeup, slowly transforming his face from the somewhat subdued look he’d had before into something spectacular for the auction. “I spent much of my childhood with my uncle on Bespin, but I didn’t fully escape the ways of the Jedi.”

“What do you mean? Aren’t the Jedi… gone?” Rey only knew about the Jedi from stories. They were almost mythical creatures to her mind, so it was weird to hear Ben talk about them as if they’d been a part of his life. Though, it made sense given that she’d seen him use some unusual powers before. He had to have learned them somewhere.

Ben sighed. “Not entirely. I spent some unhappy summers with my Uncle Luke. His way… well, it’s not my way. And despite his best intentions, I found that life was better when the Force wasn’t so heavily involved. Though, I did learn some useful tricks.”

“Like what?” Rey wondered. “How to put out candles on a birthday cake?” Though she wouldn’t admit it, it had been pretty impressive to see him extinguish the candles on his cake with nothing more than a gentle wave of his hand.

Ben laughed at her teasing. “That and how to move objects with my mind, or touch without touching—I’ve had _plenty _of fun with the latter.”

“I can only imagine,” Rey commented. There were times with Ben that they seemed so intimately connected, it was almost like a strange power flowed through them. His touch had always been solid, but maybe she’d not been able to tell the difference?

“You look curious,” he commented and Rey cursed herself for being easy for him to read.

“Well, it’s just... How’s that even possible?”

“To touch with the Force?”

“Well, to touch without actually touching.”

Ben hummed thoughtfully. “My family is powerful in the ways of the Force, whether we want to be or not. It takes time, training, and focus, but once you get the hang of it, it’s a bit like breathing.”

No wonder he had such a formidable reputation—and a fan club. Being with someone like Ben would be an overwhelming mixture of decadence, never mind his strange, esoteric powers. Would it heighten his partner’s responses? Was it something he did regularly, or only with individuals he cared about?

_I wonder if he really is able to read my thoughts with this power, too? _she wondered while trying not to think of anything specific, and failing as her thoughts turned towards Ben and his strange power.

Rey had too many questions, and her curiosity finally got the better of her as she asked, “Could you… show me? How it works, I mean.”

Ben smiled as his head dipped a little to the side. “What do you want to see?” he asked softly while his hand moved. Rey watched as her combat umbrella lifted from the floor as if pulled by invisible wires.

“Whoa!” Rey gasped. “And you can move other things with this—the Force?” She tried and failed not to think of all the illicit ways she’d use a power like that. She’d never want for anything with a skill that literally let her lift from other people’s pockets.

Ben shrugged. “Mmm, that and more.”

“What else?” Rey couldn’t stop herself from asking, leaning forward as she waited for what he’d reveal next.

Rey watched as Ben turned and reached toward her, palm up. His long fingers curled inward and she felt the faintest sensation brush across her shoulder, the hint of touch against her skin. Rey shivered and realized what a whisper-soft touch like that could do…

“Where else can you touch?” Rey asked, so quiet she was almost surprised to get an answer.

“Would you like me to show you more?”

“I just… I mean, maybe?” she offered. Just what was she playing at? Sometimes, she almost thought she was special to him. But then she’d seen how easily he’d been able to charm the holonists and his fans. So, maybe she was a little jealous, but she had no right to be. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder whether she was truly special to him? Or was she just another sentient to dazzle?

Ben shook his head as his hand slipped back to his side, and Rey wondered whether the gesture was in response to her internal monologue or her words—maybe both. “I’m not interested in pushing you further than you want to go. Whatever we do together, I want it to be because you want it.”

“And what about you? Do you want this?”

“I’ve wanted this and more for some time now, and I think you know that. But what I need to hear is how you feel. So, tell me what you want and then let me give it to you.”

Rey swallowed thickly as she took a moment to think over what he was offering. Back and forth, she’d rolled over the reasons why not, but had she ever really stopped to consider that maybe Ben didn’t want to hurt her? She’d been searching for something for so long, some sort of connection, that maybe she’d gotten it all screwed up in her head by thinking that pain was a necessity.

Maybe, this time, she could give in—just a little, and let someone else show her how different the world could be? And, besides, she _did _want him, but she was afraid of getting hurt. Maybe this could bridge the gap between her brain and her heart? Rey ignored the little voice that told her she was currently on an assignment, and all the other reasons why giving in to the temptation he offered was a bad idea. For one blessed moment, Rey allowed herself to indulge, and she only hoped that she wouldn’t come to regret it.

“Show me, please. I want you to show me.”

Ben nodded as a soft look came over his face. “We’ll start slow. Tell me if there’s anything you don’t like or if you want me to stop.”

It did wonders to put her at ease. As much as she thought Ben was from a different world than her, a part of her did trust him. And, besides, he’d only ever helped her out—in more than a few ways.

Rey bit her lip, suddenly nervous to be the focus of all his attention. Ben stood from his chair and offered it to Rey. “This will be easier if you’re relaxed,” he assured her.

Rey shook her head and mustered her courage as she insisted, “I’d rather do this sitting together, if that’s okay?”

“The couch?” he asked.

Rey shook her head and pointed to his hover-chair. If she was going to indulge in Ben’s attention, she’d do it right. And the temptation of his lap was too much to resist.

A smile worked its way onto Ben’s lips, but he wisely said nothing as he slipped back into his chair, hand reaching out to take hers as he guided her onto his lap. As Rey settled herself against his muscular body, she was overcome by such a sweet sensation of relaxation that it almost made her whimper.

“Was that your…?”

“Hmm?” Ben murmured as his hands gently pulled her hips back, sliding her body tight against his. “I haven’t started.”

If it wasn’t his powers, what had made her feel that way? What was it about this man that made her feel so strangely… whole? It was like every cell in her body had been crying out for his touch and, when she’d finally get it, the sensation was almost too much to bear. He was warm through the crinkly fabric of his clothes and his scent was somewhat subdued. Where he normally smelt smoky and alluring, today there were sweeter undertones to his scent. She liked the change.

“Close your eyes and let me in,” he directed. He kept his hands on her hips, which she supposed was cheating because he was supposed to be doing all of this without touching, but considering she’d been the one who wanted to sit on his lap, it was her fault. Still, her eyes slipped closed, and she waited for… whatever came next.

Finally, the same sensation she’d felt on her shoulder bloomed anew against her skin, but this time it curled and tripped its way across her body. Ben’s breathing was steady and constant against her back as his power rolled out from his body. Almost like a shiver, but softer.

And just when she thought she’d gotten the beat of it, his power would shift. A brush against her knee—on the inside of her thigh, before dipping _higher, _only to retreat and shimmer over the tips of her fingers. Once, it skimmed over the slight curve of her breast and she almost growled for all the frustration building up within her.

But what did she want? She’d asked him to show her his power, which he undeniably was doing, but did she want more? Was he waiting for her to beg? A moan nearly spilled from her lips as she realized he was waiting for _exactly _that. He wanted her to be an active part of their encounters, her reluctance to vocalize her desires be damned.

And that was… nice. As decadent as he had a reputation for being, Ben wasn’t going to push her further than she wanted to go. That little bit of power was heady and Rey found that she was becoming addicted to the thrill of commanding the notorious Ben Solo. His deliberate teasing only left her wanting more, which was likely his plan all along.

Location, and timing, and every reason ‘why not’ fled from her mind as she finally pleaded, “Show me… _more._”

Ben’s breath hitched softly and she could feel the movement against her back. She loved that she was able to elicit the same sort of responses from him. As if _she _made him feel just as overwhelmed as he made her feel. It was uncanny, what he was doing to her. It simultaneously felt as if he was inside her head, while his power cascaded over her body. It was more intimate than anything she’d ever experienced and was as addicting as it was devastating.

She craved more and couldn’t deny the depth of her wanting. It had always been there, but Rey had managed to keep her desire back through sheer will and a depressing sort of practicality. Now, with Ben literally in her mind, it was impossible to keep her thoughts and wants to herself. And she wanted him… Judging from the erotic thoughts he shared, Ben wanted her too.

In her mind, she could see all the decadent things he wanted to do to her, but more to the point, she could almost make out the way it would feel. Wicked sensation rolled over her body like flowing water, concentrating at different sensitive points across her skin—the slow swirl that radiated around her nipples, the gentle caress along the skin of her neck, and _finally, _lower.

She’d been dreaming about him for longer than she was willing to admit, and their encounter in the supply closet on Coruscant had only increased her longing. And now, when he should have been getting ready, when someone could interrupt them at any moment, she had him beneath her, his power encircling, as he indulged _her. _But that was the way of it, wasn’t it?

It shocked Rey to realize, just as his power gently surged along that sensitive nub between her legs, that _he _was always indulging her. Never pushing her further than she wanted her to go, not really, but inching ever closer to a precipice. He wanted her and was willing for her to feel the same. She wanted him, she realized that, and her defenses were slowly being winnowed away until only something like pure instinct remained.

Yes, there were reasons why not. But there were also reasons why she most definitely _should_, and one of those reasons was a pooling warmth and gentle touch that was working ever so hard to get her off. He took his time, and she knew he was watching _and _feeling her reactions. The way her body trembled, how her ass shifted against him as she sought to communicate her desire through that insistent movement against his lap.

If she looked right now, Rey knew she’d be able to see herself in front of that big vanity mirror, cheeks flushed, head tilted back against Ben’s shoulder, legs wide over his own. She should have felt embarrassed, but she didn’t. Ben didn’t make this feel shameful. If anything, he made her feel like he was _grateful _to do this for her. It was so strange.

She knew he’d look like a dark prince at her back and she’d not be able to ever get the memory of it out of her mind if she looked now. Ben gently brushed his nose into her neck, mostly keeping to his promise that he could do this without hands.

“Watch,” he urged her as if in response to her thoughts.

But Rey’s eyes remained tightly shut. If she looked at herself in the mirror now, it was all real—not just some magic and a fantasy she could forget. If she looked, she’d have to acknowledge that it was Ben that was making her feel this way and not just because he was the one with the Force powers, but because it was _him. _His power softly surged, rolling over her in an insistent wave that was eating away at the edges of her control.

Rey gasped as Ben let his power swirl around one aching nipple. “Please, Rey. You should see how beautiful you are.”

And he sounded almost desperate for her to see what he was doing to her. And it was his cadence, more than his sensual otherworldly touch, that finally made Rey open her eyes. It was exactly as she’d imagined. Pulled up tight against his body, she was wrapped in his magic, but it didn’t make her feel powerless. It made her feel _powerful_. Because the way he was looking at her, the need in his eyes, made her realize just how much he wanted this too.

Pure sensation set her body alight, tingling across the planes and valleys of her form. He knew where his power needed to surge, just as he knew when to withdraw and leave her breathlessly wanting more. Rey could only imagine what it would feel like to have the full force of this magic, and his real touch combined, but for now, she’d let herself wonder a little longer before taking that step.

Her head lolled as she tried to keep herself from whining or demanding more. He’d want that, she was sure, which most certainly meant he wouldn’t give it to her, just to draw things out even longer until she finally came apart. He was a royal tease, but she was beginning to like that about him, too. She was coming to like a _lot _of things about him, and this wicked ability was just one tick on the long list of what Ben had to offer.

His deep laugh rumbled through her as his head dipped, lips brushing against her ear as he purred, “I promise to show you exactly what I’m capable of—when I have a proper bed to fuck you on and enough time to indulge in your every whim.”

“My whims?” Rey gasped as his power fluttered over the slick seam of her sex.

“_Your_ whims, sweetness. All the things you’ve wondered about, but never tried? And all the things you’ve tried too, but this time, done with someone who knows how to give you what you want.”

Rey’s eye’s fluttered. “And what do I want?”

Ben caught her eye in the mirror and flashed a wicked smile. “You’re wondering whether I live up to my reputation.”

Reaching back, Rey threaded her hand into his long hair, fingers curling as her hips thrust into his invisible touch. “And do you?”

She’d seen the sex-holo. She knew what he looked like underneath all those layers of clothing—mostly. But looking good and being good in bed were two different things. “Maybe it’s all talk and rumors.”

Ben gave a low chuckle. “I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”

From their few times together, Ben seemed to take a great deal of pleasure in ensuring that she was satisfied. Waiting with bated breath for her to beg for more. Pushing her higher and higher until the only words that spilled from her lips were insistent little whines and pleading.

It would have been embarrassing if he didn’t look so fucking ecstatic about it. God, the way he watched her now—eyes wide and dark, lush lips slick and slightly parted. Every breath she took, ever hitching movement, it all belonged to him and he seemed to relish what she gave him.

He could have anyone he wanted in the galaxy, and he wanted _her_. There was stark honesty in his gaze when he looked at her. The mask he wore falling away until only Ben remained. She could feel the truth of his desire for her pressing insistently at her back, but also running through her with his power. More than seduction, it was a connection.

His hands flexed against her hips as his power flowed deeper her body tightened, heat pooling between her legs as her pleasure mounted. Ben’s power was within and without, layer upon layer building in her body until it was almost enough. _Almost._

For a wild moment, she knew with blinding certainty that she was exactly where she needed to be. That every event in her sad little life had been leading to a single point, and this was it. And within that moment, her mind was opened to the galaxy and all of its infinite possibility.

Stars bloomed at the edges of her periphery, and it was as if she was drifting alone in space, lost in the moment—afraid almost—until her perception of Ben and his touch-without-touching brought her back to the moment, focusing her mind with blinding clarity. Like a hand reaching out in the darkness to guide her.

He could see it too, whatever strange vision she’d had, and he pulled her through it and back to him. Somehow, she sensed he’d always be there to help her pull through anything. That, no matter what, he wanted to keep her safe.

_Can you see this? _She wondered, breathless as she fought to impart the full depth of her meaning. _Can you feel how I feel? Can you feel how I want you? Are you frightened? Are you excited? Is this… am I… is any of this real?_

His eyes locked with hers in the mirror as he showed her exactly what was waiting for her if she but said the word. All that he offered was laid bare, but more than that. The strange connection that ran between them thrummed as he teased her, as if _this _was an extension of that uncanny bond. It wasn’t only sexual, though it was that too, but something as innate and wild as the breeze against her skin or the feeling of air in her lungs.

Somehow, he knew, even though she barely knew herself. Within body, mind, and soul, she felt his answer roll through her as she finally peaked: _Yes._

Rey’s eyelids slid closed, her grip tightened, lip caught between her teeth as she fought to suppress a moan… and failed as Ben revealed the full force of his power and the depth of his feeling _for her. _

And though there were things she knew he was hiding. And though she knew there were reasons she should resist this. For one aching moment, the walls that surrounded her heart came down, and she felt, for the first time in… maybe ever… what it was to be cared for.

To be loved.

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as gentle sensations rolled through her, while Ben’s arms wrapped around her middle and held her tight. He was breathing as hard as she, as if he’d experienced it all through her and was just as overwhelmed.

“That wasn’t… Is it always like this?” she asked as her body trembled.

“It’s never… No. Never,” he managed. A soft shuddering breath passed through his lips, air brushing against her neck as they both reeled.

“I thought you were going to take things slow,” she tried to joke.

“I thought I _was_.”

Maybe he would have said more. Maybe _she _would have said more, but a soft chime sounded throughout the dressing room and indicated the time. An hour had somehow passed, and it had seemed like she’d spent a small eternity in his arms, and also mere moments.

Reluctantly, Rey pulled herself off of Ben’s visibly aroused body. “I’ll… I mean, you need to get ready, right?”

He made quite the sight. Rey thought back to all the time she’d seen him in the holos after a night out with his hair mussed, his makeup messed, and otherwise looking like someone had rocked his world. And now, little beads of sweat trailed along his hairline and his drawn-on beauty mark was smudged, probably by her hand.

Ben’s pale skin was flushed red, his lips plump as if he’d been nibbling on him, and his gown… Messy tulle split in the middle to reveal his muscular legs, clad in dark tights, split wide, and inviting as hell as his erection strained against the tight fabric. _She _made him look like this.

He stared up at her, gaze dark and full of promise, and for a fraction of a second, she thought he wasn’t going to let her leave him, but Ben took a deep breath and seemed to remember where he was and why he was there.

Ben sounded disappointed as he said, “I suppose it’s time I get ready.”

“I’ll… leave you to it,” she managed, though her voice cracked a little as she stepped away. Maybe she could use a moment to collect herself and make sense of… whatever that had been.

Rey settled into the couch and tried to pretend that her entire world hadn’t just been shifted on its axis. She’d never experienced anything like that before—and certainly not about another person. It was like a veil had been lifted, revealing the secrets of the galaxy for just a moment, and the answer that had called out to the question of her heart had been, with certainty: _Ben__._

And what was she going to do with _that _piece of information? She was his sometime bodyguard. She was a smuggler. He had his life and secrets, and she had hers. The galaxy was a dangerous place for people like them. But somehow, she _knew _that there was more to their meeting than just chance.

She’d not believed in chance or luck, or divine providence, but when Ben had been in her mind, it was as close to a spiritual experience as she’d ever had, and it was with the last person she’d ever expected. Ben wasn’t just an Aristo, he was a Force user—the Force was real, and he had it. He’d used it on her, and now she’d seen him. And he’d seen her.

And things were never going to be the same.

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**Author's Notes:**

Me to me: You know, she could just stay on the couch.

Me to me: Yeah, but you really made that lap too appealing in the last chapter.

Mtm: fair point, lap it is.

Aka: when you know it’s self-indulgent af, but do it anyway lol. The name of this chapter should have been "foreshadowing." Anyway, thanks so much for reading. I love reading all of your comments and speculation. Some of you make it feel like you're standing over my shoulder while I write this (in a good way), which is great. Take care of yourselves and others out there! Things have been pretty uhhh no so okay over here, but I'm still doing my best to keep writing :) Also, I do my best to be courteous about updating tags for this as the story goes along, but as I stated in the outset if you have concerns or questions, you're welcome to shoot me an ask on Tumblr and I'll be happy to chat.

Just in case anyone is refreshing, I'm definitely trying to get an update finished soon. I've been dealing with some pain related shit (chronic), so I'm having a bit of a hard time with doing anything. But I'm trying. Thanks so much for your support. It honestly means so much. I'm doing the best I can :)

* * *

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	12. Tell Me That You Feel It Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their overwhelming encounter, Ben puts on a private show while Rey comes to some conclusions about their relationship and what she wants going forward.

Rey sat in a stupor while trying to make sense of just what the fuck happened between her and Ben. Of course, they were attracted to each other, but she’d been attracted to other people before and it had _never _felt like that. It was almost like that strange power within him had stirred something within her, but that didn’t make any sense.

She’d only ever had herself to rely on—her wits, her strength, her determination. Okay, and some luck. But what she’d shared with Ben had felt spiritual and unlike anything else. For a moment, it seemed like her eyes were really and truly open and that she could feel beyond the immediate moment, searching into the great unknown and finding that the answer was _him. _

It was frightening, but also strangely comforting. She’d been alone for so long and, though she was coming to trust her friends, it wasn’t the same kind of connection as this. A little voice inside her head said that she’d _always _been drawn to Ben, and she knew that was true. It was hard to resist him, as charming and handsome as he was. Even when he was driving her nuts, she still couldn’t ignore the way her body and soul were pulled towards him.

“That was something else,” he finally said while catching her gaze in the mirror.

“Yup.”

“Talk about it later?” he suggested before getting back to his makeup.

“Might be a good idea,” Rey agreed, though with some reluctance. She wasn’t a ‘talk about your feelings’ kind of person. She had a hard enough time getting to know anyone, let alone talk about feelings or semi-mystical connections that were pushing her well beyond the realm of desire, and into something strangely akin to love.

That was terrifying.

Evidently, she’d have a lot of time to spiral, as Rey was experiencing first hand why Ben took so damn long to get ready. He was meticulous with his hair and makeup. Though a droid would have made this process faster, Rey wasn’t sure whether anyone else would be able to capture Ben’s unique beauty quite so well as he did.

He highlighted his positives and drew attention away from anywhere he didn’t want curious eyes to focus on. His full lips were colored into the perfect pout, bloodred with a pop of white in the middle. His nose was prominent, but it only served to make his face look more roguish. Long lashes glittered and were highlighted by the shine of his shadow. And just when she thought he was finished with the look, his hand returned for something more to add.

Rey watched as his hand wove through the excess of makeup options. She’d never seen such an elaborate spread before. It was at least triple what Finn would pack for assignments, and even Rose didn’t have this much to work with.

He was beautiful, even without the makeup, but with it he looked otherworldly. After finishing up, or at least getting himself to the point that he was mostly satisfied with his look, Ben slipped up from his hover-chair, kicked off his impressive heels, and let his outfit fall to the ground in a silky heap, leaving him in hardly anything at all.

Though she’d seen much of his body before, she’d never seen it in person quite like this. Rey didn’t consider herself much of an aficionado for art or sculpture or anything like that. Poverty and the need to survive meant that her hobbies were limited and certainly hadn’t included art.

But even she could recognize the brazen appeal of Ben’s physique. As much as she’d traveled, and the worlds she’d seen, there were always great monuments to beauty and galactic achievements, though they were hard to appreciate while avoiding blaster fire. But every so often on a run, or during recon, they’d come across something truly special. Rey wouldn’t have been surprised to see an effigy to someone like Ben Solo out there in the greater galaxy.

Dressed in only his dark tights, every flex and pull of his muscles was visible and Rey, though she probably should have turned away, let it all sink in. For his part, Ben didn’t seem to mind her staring, but he always seemed to indulge her desires.

And if the heavy weight hanging between his legs was a little more pronounced than it would have otherwise been, Rey didn’t mention it. She was so wrapped up in staring that she didn’t realize that Ben had hooked his fingers into the waistband of his tights and was slowly stripping them from his body, which left him only in his underthings—lacy, short, shiny-black, and decorated with a tiny blue bow on the front.

Rey’s brain short-circuited as she tried to think around what he was planning to wear next atop such a scrap of clothing. The bands of fabric dug into his thighs a little as his muscles pressed tight and it was a good look and reminded her of when she’d gotten up close and very personal with Ben’s muscular, thick thighs.

He turned a little, ass facing her as he dug through the hovering wardrobe. The shorts were so tight that they made his small butt look pert. And she was staring at his ass and didn’t quite realize it, even though she was mentally critiquing it, until Ben casually pulled the leg of his short-shorts out of his ass. Rey couldn’t smother her laugh fast enough.

“What?” he asked without looking back. His hand returned to the wardrobe and smoothed over the gleaming fabric within as if looking for any imperfections or wrinkles in his clothes.

“You’re one of the fanciest people I know, and even you get your underwear stuck in your butt,” she said with a snort.

He _did _look over at that. “First of all, it wasn’t stuck in my butt, it was stuck under the curve of my ass cheek. There’s a difference. Second, if you weren’t staring so intently at my ass, you wouldn’t have noticed.”

Oh, so he’d done it on purpose? To bait her? Yeah, it worked. Rey’s cheeks flushed pink at being caught, but she wasn’t about to back down from this one. “And I wasn’t supposed to notice? You’re practically putting on a show.”

Ben laughed. “If I was putting on a striptease, you’d know it.”

“Would I, now?” Rey snarked as her mouth got ahead of her.

Of course, Ben would take great pleasure in proving his point and she only realized her mistake when he turned, Loth-wolfish grin in place as he tipped his head to the side, dark hair spilling over in a glorious wave. His hand pressed tight against his abs, slipping slowly upward, fingertips tripping over a taut nipple, along his chest and neck before finally delving into his long locks. His finger swirled enticingly around the length of his hair, pulling tight before tracing over his full lips.

A long finger dipped within and he gave one agonizingly slow suck before pulling his finger out with a languid _pop. _Slick and shiny, Ben let his hand hover over his chest before he swirled it suggestively over a nipple, his rosy flesh tightening in response. His lips parted and he let out a soft moan.

Rey swallowed hard. Ben locked eyes with her, tongue darting out, finger still swirling over his nipple as he waited patiently. Somewhere along the way, Rey had leaned forward, mouth falling open, as she was utterly overwhelmed by his display.

Voice low and eyes dark, Ben purred, “Do you see the difference?”

With a shuddering breath, Rey managed to find her voice again as she settled back into the couch. “Okay, I see your point.”

Ben nodded his head, expression smug as he turned back to his clothes. “Sometimes, you just have to trust me, smuggler.”

Rey huffed. “Yeah, I’m beginning to learn that.”

Ben hummed thoughtfully as he slipped through layer after layer of fabric. At one point, he even stepped away from the wardrobe a little, and Rey thought he’d settled on wearing what he had on—every scant inch of it. The shorts would keep him decent, kind of. Okay, so not at all given the obvious size of his dick, but it was something?

_What could he possibly deciding between? _Rey wondered.

He’d even sent 3PO back to grab something for this costume change, so it had to be good. She was about to ask him whether he was just going to wear the short-shorts for a scandal to tease him, but Ben eventually pulled out what could only be described as one of the most stunning pieces of clothing Rey had ever seen.

_This must have been what he’d sent 3PO back for_, she mused as Ben gently drew a long flowing gown from the wardrobe.

Thin jeweled webbing had been sewn into translucent fabric in elaborate detail. The fabric glinted and as Ben gently drew the gown out of his wardrobe, the patterned fabric almost seemed to be winking at her—no, not winking.

Delicate blue wings seemed to flap as he pulled the fabric against his chest. His pale skin would show through from beneath, peeking out as a glorious contrast to the stunning gown. And his short-shorts would _also _be making an appearance because they’d be completely visible beneath this gown.

“It reminds me of the butterflies on Endor,” Rey marveled. The same vivid blue, edged with black, was apparent in the delicate pattern of his dress.

“You’ve been to Endor?” Ben asked.

“Twice on runs to the forest moon. Really pretty, but I didn’t get to spend much time there. Never met any Ewoks, either. Which was disappointing.”

“My dad’s had some run-ins with them. 3PO, too. You should ask him about it.”

Rey scrunched her nose a little. “Your droid’s met Ewoks?”

“That’s one way of putting it. The Ewoks were a large part of why the Rebellion was successful during the Battle of Endor.”

Rey nibbled her thumb thoughtfully. “I’ll have to read a bit more about it. I didn’t know your history was so tied to the moon.”

“I was conceived there. Probably,” Ben said, so casually that Rey had to think hard whether she’d just heard what she’d thought she’d heard.

She made a strangled sort of noise when she realized that yes, he _had _been talking about his parent’s sex life. “That is a very weird thing to know,” she finally said.

Ben gave her an amused look over his shoulder. “It was the end of the war. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together.”

“The end of the war… Wasn’t your family also wrapped up in the struggle?”

“Something like that,” Ben replied with a smile before turning his attention back to the gown. He didn’t elaborate, which only made Rey more curious.

Rey’d read a little about the Galactic Civil War, but only had a passing knowledge of it from what she’d been able to glean from gossip, as well as from the onboard computers of Star Destroyers and other Imperial relics that she’d scavenged. Not much time for history lessons when you’re trying to survive. But later, as her interest in Ben had grown, she’d managed to learn a little about his family history through the gossip holos.

Most of it was concerned with Ben’s society life or Leia’s work in politics, but there were a few scandals in their past and his reticence to talk about was interesting. What else was he hiding from her? Something to do with his family, maybe? Rey didn’t know much about her family and, honestly, she’d concluded that only disappointment awaited her at the end of knowing. They were gone. Probably dead or at least didn’t give enough of a shit to make sure she was okay on Jakku. She knew more than enough about them from that alone.

Ben coughed softly and distracted Rey from morose thoughts of her past by swirling around and asking, “Can you help me with this gown? There’s a hidden zipper on the side, but I’m going to need help pulling it on.”

Rey hopped up from the couch, probably with a little more enthusiasm than she should have, but who wouldn’t jump at the chance to help dress Ben Solo? She wasn’t above admitting that the thought of running her hands over his body made her feel pretty damn excited, but she’d do her best to be professional about it. Probably.

_He just made you come without actually touching you. How professional is this anymore? _she thought to herself as she reached out for the dress. _Not very_, she decided_._

The dress was silky soft and heavier than she’d expected. She didn’t often wear dresses and, truthfully, wasn’t much of a fan—suits suited her just fine. But on Ben… he always managed to look stunning no matter what he was wearing. Really put truth to the fact that as long as the wearer was confident, anyone could pull off any look.

Ben dipped and gently gathered the bottom of the dress before handing the edge to Rey. “Holds this. I’m going to dive in.”

“’Kay,” she replied. Ben curved his tall body and slid into the dress, wiggling gently so the fabric could flow down with gravity.

Rey helped it along, pulling where it bunched or smoothing where needed. The edge of the dress just skimmed the floor. Rey’d been right, against his pale skin, the butterflies almost seemed to glow and the little shorts looked obscenely divine as they peeked through the transparent parts of the gown.

Ben turned his side towards her, arm lifted to reveal the slit along the seam. “Do you mind?”

Rey shook her head and deftly sought out the little nub of the zipper, pulling gently until it the fabric was cinched tight around his body. It fit like a glove.

“You look beautiful,” Rey finally managed, and it was true, not that it was out of character for him, but there was something about the blue butterflies that was just so… _Ben._

“Let’s hope it brings in a lot of credits for Armitage’s charity.”

Rey couldn’t see how it wouldn’t. Ben alone would probably bring in thousands, what with the prize being alone time with him, and all. But in this gown? He looked like he was out of one of Rey’s fantasy holos—a creature so wild and untamed that they existed only inside the realm of imagination. No, even beyond that, for Rey had never imagined someone quite so brilliant as Ben ever being real.

Ben smiled down at her, catching her staring. “I’ll have to pull this one out again if you like it so much.”

Rey squared her shoulders a little, refusing to feel bad at all for staring. How could she not? “You should. Might get you somewhere.”

“Oh?”

Okay, so maybe she didn’t mean to let that last part slip, so she might have stammered a little while feigning confidence. “I mean, who could resist you in _that_?”

“Who indeed?” Ben murmured. “Well, I’ll file that away for later. Finally divining a few more your weaknesses, aren’t I?”

Rey huffed. “I don’t have many.”

Ben reached out and gently cupped her cheek, his tone uncharacteristically serious as he agreed. “No, you’re strong and fearless, aren’t you?”

“When you don’t have much to live for…,” she started, but couldn’t finish. In part, her bravery had been because, for the longest time, she didn’t have anyone waiting on her return, but now… that wasn’t really true anymore, was it?

Ben leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against her lips. Whether he meant for it to be a quick peck or something more, she wasn’t certain of. What she was certain of was how _she _wanted more, and she couldn’t keep her lips from sliding open, tongue darting out and gently slipping along the seam of his plush mouth.

A little growl rumbled in the back of his throat, so she deepened the kiss. Carefully, her hands skimmed over his chest, fingertip tripping across the delicate fabric of his dress while enjoying the warmth of his body. His arms wrapped around her middle, holding her tight in place as he deftly angled her back. He cradled her like she was a treasure and kissed her like she was _his_. No one had ever kissed her like Ben did.

It wasn’t just a kiss, it was a promise. Of things yet left unsaid between them, and things that were to come. It left her breathless, aching, and wanting more than she could have in the scant minutes they had before the auction was to start.

In a life where companionship and the prospect of sex had always been an afterthought, Ben pushed it all to the forefront until it was almost all she could think of. But it wasn’t just the idea of sex with him, it was the idea of giving herself to him—and he to her. It was a level of connection that she’d rarely allowed herself and was almost afraid to take because she knew between Ben and her…

“Oh,” he breathed softly against her lips. “It could never be casual between us, Rey.”

Damn him for reading her mind and heart so well. But he was right. Things already weren’t casual between them, and while the thought frightened her, it also filled her with a strange sort of hope that she was not used to feeling, and maybe that was the most frightening thing about it all. Hope was a dangerous thing for a woman like Rey.

“You’re the worst,” she teased as he gently righted her body. For reading her mind, for knowing her heart, and mostly for always seeming to be able to give her what she wanted before she even realized she wanted it.

She said the phrase so often, it hardly had any meaning anymore. And he wasn’t the worst. Not by a longshot. He was rapidly becoming one of her favorite people, which was hard to contend with after a lifetime of distrusting everyone. But there was something so right about Ben, she just couldn’t help herself.

“Only when I’m with you,” he assured her, which made her stomach do a little flip as he pulled away. What was he _really _saying to her? So often, and so much of what he did, he only did for her. It was getting harder and hard to believe that he didn’t care for her. That he wasn’t…

_Falling in love, _she thought before she could stop herself.

She hoped he couldn’t sense it. She _liked _what she had with him, whatever it was. And the last thing she needed was to complicate matters by actually falling in love, right? Rey hazarded a glance over at Ben, who was digging through his wardrobe again.

He hadn’t seemed to notice, or was pretending not to notice, her errant thought. His dress gleamed as he moved, shimmering in the low light of the wardrobe. Under the lights of a stage, he’d be breathtaking, she was sure of it.

Who’d have thought a stupid, rich, indolent, Aristo like him could be such a great person? It was beyond belief. He’d blown apart her preconceived, and well deserved, notions of the Aristos entirely.

_I guess they can’t all be bad. Leia’s pretty great too, from what I’ve seen, _Rey mused while Ben slipped a heavy-looking cape over his shoulders. A silver clasp held the garment in place and the long length of the fabric-covered most of his fabulous dress.

“Saving the dress for a dramatic reveal?”

Ben grinned. “Of course. Can’t disappoint adoring public down, can I?”

Rey watched as he fished around along the edges of the cape, searching for something. Finally, he pulled out a long, dark cylinder with a satisfied, “Ah-_ha!_”

“Spice?” Rey wondered.

Ben shook his head as he stepped into a pair of metallic-navy heels. “I don’t indulge anymore—not intentionally, anyway.”

Rey thought back to the time she’d been accidentally drugged at Dev’s on Cantonica and assumed it was the danger of running in Aristo circles. They mostly seemed to assume that _everyone _wanted to be spiced up, but while Rey could understand the appeal of losing your senses, it seemed that the drug became more of a problem the more that people indulged.

She’d seen perfectly respectable-looking sentients dragged _very low _by their addictions. And the Aristo world seemed to do nothing but encourage the excess until there wasn’t much else left. Ben, at least, hadn’t succumbed to the temptation of spice addiction, even with his reputation for being indulgent.

Much of what everyone seemed to think they knew about him was about as far from the truth as possible, Rey was beginning to realize. It was almost as if he had a public persona that was carefully crafted, and a private persona that he kept hidden from the galaxy. At least, it seemed that way to her.

“What is it, then?” she finally asked.

Ben looked a little sheepish, which wasn’t like him. He coughed, clearing his throat before admitting, “It’s an herbal concoction that my mom has made for me. A Chandrilan floral blend.”

“What’s it for?”

Ben’s lip quirked into a smile as he admitted. “Nerves.”

“Nerves!” Rey sputtered. “I just watched you walk through that line of holonists like it was nothing!”

“It _was _nothing, but I also have a scent-cartridge sewn into the hem of my clothes, in case things start to get stressful….” Ben quickly ran his hand through his dark hair, as if he was smoothing it in place, which must have been how he took a moment for himself in all the chaos.

“What else are you hiding in those voluminous sleeves?” Rey wondered. Ben only smiled in response, so she added, “You’re such a natural at it all and make it seem so effortless.”

“There’s nothing natural about my life, Rey,” he assured her. And Rey had to agree. Even the most extroverted person would have a hard time with the level of visibility that Ben maintained. And to find out that he had a hard time with it, even just a little, was endearing to her.

“And here I thought you were superhuman and beyond all mortal limitations.”

Ben laughed. “Smoke and mirrors.”

Rey crossed her arms and feigned anger. “What _else _have you been hiding from me?”

“Not much,” he replied, but she knew _that _was a lie.

“Notorious warlord in your spare time?” she guessed.

“Only on Centaxdays,” he drawled as his lip quirked. “But really, what gossip were you most interested in confirming?”

It was a leading question, and she knew it. Rey’s tongue darted out as she considered what she wanted to know. She was most definitely not going to ask about his reputation in the bedroom—all she’d heard and seen was over the top. He had a legitimate fan club and sentients begging for the chance to get into his bed with good reason.

_It’s interesting that the only bed he seems interested in getting into is mine, _she thought, maybe a little jealously. But it was true. The only person he was actively courting, that she’d been able to divine anyway, was _her._

And she wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but it was a little nice to have that kind of power. Everyone wanted Ben Solo. And he wanted _her_. For the most part, it seemed like people were obsessed with who he had fucked or who he was fucking, and that was the least interesting thing about him.

Ben was… well, he was a lot more than he seemed to be. But that was probably intentional. People don’t look too close if they already think they know everything there is to know, but why the façade? What was going on in his life and did his mother know? Or have something to do with it all?

Finally, she settled on something she was certain he wouldn’t answer. “Why do you really need a bodyguard?”

Ben sighed, shoulders heaving with his breath, dress glimmering with the movement. “I’ve been a bad boy.”

“That’s kind of your entire reputation. You’re going to have to be more specific,” Rey insisted.

He faced her, staring into her eyes for long moments as if he was searching for something. Finally, he reached out his hand to her. Rey let him pull her close, tucking her right up against his broad body. The fabric of his dress combined with the hard press of him was a wicked contrast. Soft. Hard. Sweet. Wicked. Honest. Liar. He was so many contradictions, but who was the true Ben?

He leaned in, breath ghosting over the shell of her ear as he murmured, “Sometimes, we do things for the people we love. And sometimes, that gets us into trouble.”

“And you think I can keep you out of trouble?” Rey asked.

“No.”

“Are you going to get _me_ into trouble, Ben?”

His lips brushed against the side of her head, skimming across her skin as he purred, “Oh, I hope so.”

He’d already gotten her into trouble just by being his horribly appealing self—not to mention what had happened when he’d shown her how he could use his power. But it didn’t feel like it was only Ben working to keep them together. Some strange presence seemed to be pushing them to be closer and feelings of understanding were shifting into something dangerously akin to love.

Ben pressed a gentle kiss into her head and seemed like he was about to say more, but a chime sounded throughout the room, and it seemed that someone was waiting for them on the other side of the door.

“Ready for work, my beautiful bodyguard?” Ben asked, and he almost sounded disappointed, like he was enjoying the intimacy between them as much as she was and wasn’t looking forward to going out into the business of the event.

Before thinking better of it, Rey reached up and gently cupped Ben’s cheek as she urged him to dip his head. Standing up on her toes a little, Rey kissed him—once, hard, and brief before declaring, “You’ll have to show me just what kind of trouble you’ve got planned for me later.”

Ben stared down at her, brow furrowed before her words registered. A grin worked its way onto his handsome face. “Anything you want, sweetness.”

The dressing room door slowly shifted open, revealing the tall, inky-dark protocol droid from before. If the droid was human, Rey would have expected to see them tapping their foot with impatience. Given that they were a droid, they stood stock-still and cast their unblinking gaze on Ben and Rey, which had a similar effect.

“Governor Hux will see you now. If you will follow me,” the droid said without waiting to see if they did so.

Rey kind of admired the droid’s spark. While many were obsequious to the point of annoyance, this droid evidently had better things to do with its time than show a few sentients around.

“Ready?” Rey finally asked as Ben made his final preparations. He looked magical and she could only wonder how the crowd would react when he finally revealed himself.

“Ready.”

She held out her arm for him. “I’ll be your escort for the event,” Rey joked.

Without missing a beat, Ben stepped close and gently curled his arm around hers. “It is to my utmost pleasure that I’ll be escorted by such a lovely and beautiful sentient.”

“Don’t have much of a choice,” Rey added before they both fell behind the droid.

“That’s where you’re wrong, smuggler,” he assured him and she was about to ask him what he meant by that, but then Rey realized that, unlike before where no one had taken a second look at her, _all _eyes seemed to be on her and Ben.

And he held her arm all through the hallways as they dutifully trailed the gleaming, dark droid. _Everyone _noticed and Rey did her best not to blush as she kept her shoulders squared and her head held high. No doubt, everyone would write it off as one of Ben’s particular quirks, as he always did what he wanted, whenever he wanted.

Truthfully, she should have been worried about the wrong eyes seeing her, but they were behind the scenes of the event, so she probably didn’t need to worry. It also felt a little special that he wanted her close and felt safe with her. With his hand against her, he was declaring that he wasn’t ashamed to be near her. _Just _a bodyguard, and yet his arm was wrapped around hers. He was Ben Solo and, for the moment, he was hers.

A warm feeling settled in her heart as she recognized the feeling as belonging_. _She’d spent her life yearning for it, crying herself to sleep at night for her loneliness and then—_Ben. _And now, for the first time, she felt it.

His hand squeezed tight on her arm, steadying and comforting her as her mind reeled. He was there. Somehow, it felt like he’d _always_ been there. Deep inside, Rey knew he’d be there for her now, despite what challenges life would undoubtedly continue to hold for her, and despite what was yet to come—for them both.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Did I spend an inordinate amount of time studying Michelangelo’s David while thinking about how Ben would look here? Yes. Does David have a better bum than Adam, _absolutely, _but I won’t hold that against Adam and maybe Ben’s been doing some squats 😉 Vascularity my dudes, the HANDS. The way I always expect that sculpture to take a breath and move—UNCANNY. Am I in love? Undoubtedly! I also have a crush on Antinous in the Vatican Museum. Get you a man (Hadrian lol) that turns you into a god after your death because they love you so much (true story). Anyways, that’s a lil art history for today, I guess. I also watched clips of Adam on Girls because he basically doesn’t wear a shirt for most of the first season, and much of the final. Oh, and GQ Running Adam, because this Ben doesn’t spend quite so much time lifting as Kylo Ren.

Fun fact, one of the original titles for this story was “Hope is a dangerous thing,” taken from the LDR song, “hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have—but I have it.” And I’m sorry for the “Loth-wolfish grin” part (cheese), but it made me lol too much to not put it in (should just be wolfish because obviously there are wolves in the gffa, but Loth-wolfish was TOO MUCH FUN I HAD TO). Anyway, thanks for your patience. My health hasn’t been the greatest lately (not that it’s ever great, but it was particularly bad) + some family shit, + you know, *gestures vaguely* everything lol. Thanks so much for reading and for all of your lovely comments 😊 Hope you’re taking care!

**I FORGOT.** I was super serious when I said a while back that I'm making my way through Balmain fashion lol. If anyone's interested, Ben's dress is inspired by [this one :)](https://www.popsugar.com/fashion/Balmain-Menswear-Show-Fall-2016-39916975) 'cept with some space drama thrown in and butterflies because why tf not. If LF isn't gonna use this character, I'm sure fine with claiming him (as we all should, he and all the characters, deserve better). Let's give 'em stories they deserve!

* * *

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**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom [@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media for 2020 :)**


	13. Best In Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Past relationships, unexpected guests, and desires collide as Rey tries to do her job as Ben's bodyguard and make her way through his complicated Aristo world. Once Ben steps onto the stage, the mood shifts as everyone wants a piece of the notorious playboy. But danger lurks at the edge of the stage, and as the bidding ramps up, so does the danger. Nothing is ever boring in the life of an Aristo, and as Rey falls deeper and deeper into Ben's world, she'll have to reconcile her feelings for Ben with her fears--and maybe, even protect him from himself.

While Arkanis’ main draw used to be the Imperial Academy, since the war ended, it was better known for being a Centrist stronghold. Governor Hux represented the planet’s interests in the Senate and, for a few years, he had also gotten under Leia’s skin both for being a Centrist and for dating her son.

All this, Rey had been able to glean from the news and gossip holos before leaving Takodana, so she at least felt like she had a bit of a leg up on how things might go between Ben and Armitage. From what she’d read, the breakup was amicable, but what the press said and what happened behind closed doors were two entirely different things.

Governor Hux was known for being a force to be reckoned with in the Senate and, with a sharp, keen mind and an uncanny wit, many a Senator did not relish being caught in his crosshairs. As the governor drew close, Rey realized that _she _was caught in his merciless gaze. She was being sized up, but what his ultimate conclusions about her were, she wasn’t certain.

His face was a mask, and even as he shifted his attention over to Ben, Rey couldn’t tell whether he was happy to see him or annoyed.

_He’d make a great spy, _Rey thought to herself.

Governor Hux reached out to Ben, who after giving Rey’s arm a gentle caress, disentangled himself. Ben stepped close, gently clasping the governor’s hand before leaning in and placing air kisses on each of Armitage’s cheeks. The dour-looking man completely ignored her, which was fine by Rey as it gave her time to study him.

He wasn’t quite as tall as Ben, and certainly not as broad, but he was striking in his way—especially given his honey-red hair, which was slicked back on his head and separated with a severe part. He looked more professional than Ben. Long, navy robes spilled over his slight frame, giving him bulk where there wasn’t any and also spoke to his station.

Gold tinged the hem of his clothes, and Rey could just make out the gleam of jewels beneath the voluminous sleeves of his outfit. His ghostly pale face looked calm and calculating as he both ignored Rey and sized her up without trying to be noticed. She might have found him handsome if he wasn’t giving off such snobbish energy.

The governor pulled Ben to the side, away from earshot, while another guest stepped out from the shadows and into Rey’s personal bubble. A wide smile beamed at her from a decidedly smug-looking face, which was set against rich, copper-colored skin that gleamed with an unnatural, but alluring, silvery sheen. Where ever Devrum Fentest went, trouble wasn’t far behind. So, seeing the notorious Aristo set off little warning bells in Rey’s mind.

Unnaturally dark hair curled around his face, and a close-cropped beard, which suited him, had grown in since the last time she’d seen him. Generally, Dev was cleanshaven, but maybe he was hoping to start a new trend. He seemed to do that, from time to time, judging from how often his look changed.

“How many times do I have to tell you,” Rey sighed as she stepped back and gestured widely with her hands. “This is _my _space. _That _is yours.”

“At least a few times more, love,” Dev’s rich, cultured voice answered back. “Funny to see you here. It must be fate.”

“It most definitely is not.”

He leaned in conspiratorially. “The Force then.”

“Something decidedly more unlucky, I’d think,” Rey huffed as Dev beamed at her.

Purple eyes—most definitely enhancements—shined at her as Rey glared back. Dev raised a manicured eyebrow at her, his prominent nose flaring a little as he huffed out a laugh. Painted lips parted as he took pleasure in her discomfort and annoyance, as was Dev’s way, which was precisely why Finn always dealt with him.

Not only was Finn better at negotiations, he was calm and collected where Rey had a short fuse, but she was working on that. And, thanks to Maz, Finn and Dev went way back, if it “way back” could be a thing between a smuggler and a client. Rey supposed it _could, _in a weird way.

Dev had stepped between herself, Ben, and Hux, which meant she couldn’t quite make out what Hux was murmuring, though it seemed casual enough. He wasn’t touching Ben or even leaning too close. If anything, the way they were talking to each other seemed businesslike and professional, which was a relief to her in ways she wasn’t about to consider.

Dev winked at Rey as he caught her staring, a cavalier grin on his captivating face. She could only imagine why the notorious Aristo was here with Armitage. Maybe they were dating, but she doubted it. Dev always seemed to have his hands in all sorts of trouble, so Rey tried to keep her expression neutral as she spun through reasons why he’d be at this auction.

“Missed you the last time you were on Cantonica,” Dev purred in his deep, resonate voice as he adjusted his sleeve. An intricately woven jacket sat atop his shoulders, split wide, revealing his gleaming skin beneath—because, of course, Dev hadn’t bothered with a shirt. Though, he had opted for pants today, so Rey thanked the maker for small mercies. The navy slacks hung low on his trim hips and highlighted the cut of his muscles, while silvery boots capped off the look.

_Vain, vain, vain, _Rey thought, judgily. Out of the corner of her eye, she almost thought she saw Ben lips quirk, but he continued talking to Armitage as if nothing had passed between them—and Rey was almost certain that her annoyance had been detected by Ben and his uncanny ability.

Rey had to admit, Dev _was _handsome and rich, so it wasn’t surprising that he had almost as much of a reputation as Ben. Except, Dev took partying to a different level and his obsession with beauty and enhancements meant Rey was never quite certain what to expect when she saw him.

Rey’s eyebrow arched as she remembered why she’d not seen Dev during her last run. “Well, I seem to remember you were _occupied _the last time I was at your place_._”

Dev laughed. “Oooh, euphemisms? That’s not like you, Rey. Is Ben _rubbing_ _off_ on you?” His voice hitched teasingly, and Rey fought to keep her expression neutral. The last thing she needed was to give someone like Dev any sort of leverage over her. He continued, “I was in the middle of an orgy, it’s okay. I don’t mind who knows it.”

“Yeah, maybe I just didn’t want to talk about your sexual exploits,” Rey offered.

Dev hummed thoughtfully. “Why ever not?”

This time, Rey couldn’t resist rolling her eyes. “Not everyone is half as much in love with you as you think they are, Dev.”

His head jerked back a little as if she’d slapped him, his hand coming up to rest on his bare chest. “You wound me!”

“If I thought that you had a heart, I might be worried,” Rey replied.

Dev huffed. “Enough out of you. I’m here for Ben, anyway.”

_High drama from Dev, always,_ Rey thought, even as she realized she probably shouldn’t antagonize Maz’s clients. He made it too easy, though, and she wasn’t about to be intimidated by someone like him.

“What’s that?” Ben asked, stepping away from Hux and over to Dev. “Armitage says you have something to discuss with me?”

“That I do,” Dev beamed while shooting a conspicuous look over at Rey. “Think you can leave your _bodyguard_ for a few minutes?”

Ben smiled as he reached out and gently brushed his fingertips along her shoulder. “Will you be alright here, Rey?”

Rey shrugged. “Though I don’t doubt a bunch of Aristos could do a lot of damage, I trust in the governor’s sensible droid to manage things.”

_Speaking of droids, I wonder if Ben’s protocol droid is finished ‘spying’? _Rey thought.

Ben nodded as Dev gestured to another dressing room. “We won’t be long and I promise to bring him back in one piece.”

“Yeah. See that you do,” Rey couldn’t help but reply.

Ben grinned, shaking his head a little as he trailed behind Dev, leaving her all alone with the governor, who up until this point hadn’t deemed it necessary to say _anything _to her. Just when she thought he was going to leave without acknowledging her, a curious look came over his face and he stared down his long nose at her.

“I’ve got to say, you’re a little rugged for his tastes,” Armitage said with a thoughtful look up and down the length of her, which earned him a glare. “And here I thought Ben had improved his standards since we were together. Evidently not.”

_Great. A jealous, asshole Aristo. Thanks a lot, Ben, _Rey thought glumly while she decided what to do next. Rey settled on sass, which was generally her default mode of operation, anyway.

“First of all, I’m working. Second, I’m his bodyguard, not his… whatever,” Rey replied, hand waving in the air as she tried to divine whatever the hell the governor had mistaken her for.

“So, you’re not fucking him?” he asked, not at all mincing words.

Rey blinked. “Uh, no.”

_Not yet, _her mind not so helpfully chimed in.

Armitage smiled, leaned in close, voice barely above a whisper as he asked, “But would you like to?”

Rey huffed but didn’t budge an inch. She could still feel Ben’s charged touch on her body and was still reeling from all that he’d been able to do to her in his dressing room _without _touching her, but she didn’t need to let his ex know any of that.

It’d take more than a fancy governor to intimidate her. “You Aristos are all the same. Always thinking with your privates. You all aren’t half as appealing as you think you are.”

He pulled back, placed a finger against his pale, pink lips, and paused thoughtfully. “I know a non-answer when I hear one. He’ll eat you alive,” Armitage assured her with an imperious look.

_Oh, this bitch, _Rey thought to herself. She was not about to be intimidated by anyone, least of all some unarmed _politician_.

Her answering smile was almost feral as she assured him, “I think you’ve underestimated who exactly is the Loth-wolf here.” Rey stepped close, forcing him to dip his head to look down at her. “Maybe I’m the one that’s going to eat _him _alive.”

Armitage blinked down at her, something like shock flickering in his crystalline gaze before he threw his head back and laughed_._

And Rey hated to admit it, but he had a great laugh. It rolled through him and completely transformed his face. So much so, that Rey finally started to realize just what Ben might have seen in the man, once upon a time.

“Oh, well! Bravo, bodyguard. There may be hope for you yet!”

_Fucking Aristos and their games. They’re all the same. Looking for a way to control. Well, I’ve had worse than Armitage Hux breathing down my neck, _Rey thought.

Curiously, the governor held his arm out for her. “Time to face this head-on.”

“You sound like you’re going to a battle,” Rey quipped.

“You’ve never been to an Auction before?”

Rey shook her head.

“Well, I wouldn’t say you’re in for a treat, more like a show. Ben’s rather popular, so sentients from all over will be vying for a piece of him. Kind of hard to compete with, don’t you think, bodyguard?”

“What competition? He came here on _my _arm,” she couldn’t help but testily reply.

Armitage laughed again. “That spark is going to get you into trouble, but I’m sure Ben enjoys it. Makes me think he might finally have met his match.”

Rey didn’t know whether to be insulted or take the backhanded compliment. “I’ve dealt with Aristos before,” she hedged.

Armitage shook his head. “Not one like Ben. The contact high makes you believe things that you never would otherwise.”

“Are you warning me?”

Armitage snorted, and it was the most indelicate thing Rey had seen him do. “No, it’s not a warning. It’s a promise.”

Rey shrugged. “Maybe you just didn’t know him as well as you thought you did.”

“Maybe,” he agreed, which surprised her. “Well, I can only wish you the best. At least I know that Ben’s well taken care of.”

“Is that important to you?”

“Of course. I still love him,” he replied quietly.

“Really?” Rey wasn’t sure she believed that.

Armitage smiled, and it looked genuine. “He’s easy to love—too easy, probably. But I have goals that I can’t afford to compromise on. Being with Ben is not a commitment I’m able to make.”

“And why is that?”

Armitage sighed and paused. Just when Rey thought he wasn’t going to answer, he slowly admitted, “Optics, connections... I can’t very well be associated with the son of the Senate’s most formidable Populist.”

“You were before,” Rey pointed out.

“Sometimes, love isn’t enough. Or maybe we were doomed from the start. His mother does hate me, you realize?”

“Hard to be in a relationship with someone when their family objects,” Rey offered.

Armitage’s eyebrow rose, and he squared his shoulders. “Something like that. Well, come along then, bodyguard. We can watch the show together from behind the stage.”

“Aren’t you a part of this auction?” Rey asked, and Armitage looked aghast.

“As if I’d ever. No, as Governor of Arkanis, that would not be considered befitting of my station.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “You can just say you didn’t want to. Gods know, I wouldn’t want to be auctioned off to…” she paused as her eyes managed to catch a glimpse of the crowd through the thick stage curtains. “Literally anyone here.”

“Indeed. Really is so much more a ‘Ben Solo crowd,’ isn’t it?”

“It’s above my paygrade, that’s for sure,” Rey drawled.

“And yet, here you are. And with the governor, no less.”

Rey huffed. “Yeah, well, makes sense that Ben’s bodyguard would also look out for his ex, doesn’t it, Governor?”

Armitage inclined his head slightly. “I suppose it does. Come along now. This is where the real fun starts.”

Rey reluctantly wrapped her arm around Armitage’s and found it surprisingly sturdy underneath the sumptuous layers of his robes. As they walked through the dark recesses of the preparation area, sentients of all kinds buzzed around. Some stopped to ask Armitage questions, others rattled through instructions in at least five languages that Rey could understand, and several that she could not.

It was a little hectic and she wondered, not for the first time, what Aristos across the galaxy would be able to do without the legions of support staff and droids that catered to their whims. It was no wonder that the Syndicates were gaining such a stranglehold in the power vacuum that remained, even now, after the fall of the Empire.

When the options were servitude to another master or fighting for a piece of the pie as a Syndicate member, Rey could see why some fell into organized crime. With no support and no one looking out for her, it was a wonder she’d not done the same. Not that spice running was much of a step up, but at least Maz and her crew had some morals.

After a few minutes more, Ben managed to catch up with them, thankfully, without Dev. Rey pulled her arm from around Armitage’s and stepped closer to Ben, who tucked her into his side almost thoughtlessly. The action made Rey’s heart flip and her cheeks flush.

“Telling all my secrets, Armitage?” Ben said quietly as he brushed a kiss on her cheek. Rey got the sense that he was not even remotely joking.

A smug smile worked its way onto Armitage’s face. “Oh, as of I’d need to. We all know where to go when we want to hear gossip about Ben Solo.”

Rey coughed a little, not able to keep her surprise suppressed. Even _Armitage Hux _read Galaxy Glitter, and Rey wondered whether it was for the same reason as she? Maybe he was telling the truth and he was still in love with Ben? Or was it morbid curiosity that kept the governor looking through the gossip holos?

“Come now, this is a surprise,” Armitage said while slowly unfurling a hand to gesture towards Ben and Rey. “You were never this affectionate with _me_.”

Ben let out a short laugh, but Rey could feel as a little shimmer of tension ran through his body. “As if you’d have let me. Some people aren’t interested in being loved, just control.”

“Well, there’s no better feeling in the galaxy than power, isn’t that somewhat like love? Being powerful in another’s eyes?”

Ben shrugged. “Maybe to some.”

_But not to Ben, _Rey mentally added.

And there was the great divide between these two influential men. One lived for the feeling of being loved, and the other lived for the feeling of being powerful. Eventually, that sort of inequality would pull two people apart.

What was Rey in this world? She who’d never truly experienced love was opening up her heart to someone who could break it but, just as easily, he could show her a world full of brilliant possibility—help her appreciate all that she’d ever been denied.

Power wasn’t what Rey had ever wanted, just love and belonging. She wondered whether it was possible to find something like that with Ben. His hand gently caressed the small of her back, as if he was feeling her troubled thoughts and reaching out to soothe her. He was so gentle with her, so careful not to push too hard.

Armitage had never really understood Ben, she realized. But maybe she had an unfair advantage with whatever special bond seemed to run between them. Still, it felt _real_ and true, the understanding that bloomed between them, irrespective of the attraction.

She could love him. She _would_ love him, given enough time. But how would that work in Ben’s world where people like Armitage and Dev were ever vying for power? Could she stay safe and happy in that world? Could he?

Armitage huffed. “You’re starting to sound as sentimental as your Uncle.”

Rey wondered which uncle Armitage was referring to, but Ben saved her the trouble of asking by replying, “Uncle Lando always did have his head in the clouds. He loves to love and be loved. Fortunately for him, the kind of power that comes along with being loved is almost as strong as the power that comes from being feared.”

Armitage pulled up short at that. “Well, lucky for you someone seems interested in the kind of love you can provide.”

It seemed like Ben was about to say something more, but Armitage’s dark and moody protocol droid interrupted them. “Excuse my interruption, but you are needed, sir.”

Had the auction already started? The activity behind the stage had seemed rather frantic, and an upbeat tempo filtered in from the main area, suggesting that something had started. Rey couldn’t decide whether she was upset at not seeing the whole thing as it played out or relieved that she wouldn’t have to pretend to care about a bunch of Aristos bidding for time with _other, _more popular Aristos.<strike></strike>

“Ready to face the crowd?” Ben asked, lips gentle against the top of Rey’s head as he placed a soft kiss there.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Ben shifted a little, hand rising to run over his long locks as if smoothing it into place, but Rey realized he was smelling his calming, herbal concoction. Before she could think better of it, Rey stepped against his body and pulled Ben into a gentle hug, careful not to catch her outfit on the delicate fabric of his dress, which peeked out from behind his thick cape.

“Knock ‘em dead,” she murmured against his chest.

“Anything for you, Sweetness,” he replied.

A few moments more, and he was being led away by the governor’s protocol droid, leaving her alone, yet again, with Armitage.

“Well, come along then,” the governor drawled. “We can watch this together and you can do you what you do best.”

“And what’s that?”

“Eye-fuck Ben Solo while you pretend to be watching out for dangers in a largely dull crowd,” he quipped. Rey didn’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction, just tagged along as Armitage led her to the side of the stage.

There were so many moving parts needed for an event like this. The auctioneer was a tall, near-human woman with long, impossibly red hair, green-tinged skin, who was wearing what Rey thought some might call a dress. Shimmering strips of iridescent fabric cascaded over her long body, flapping dangerously with each movement she took. It was mesmerizing.

“Who is she?” Rey asked Armitage, who was in the middle of receiving an update from another sullen droid.

“Almeaa Bright, she’s known for her night clubs, but we’ve been friends for ages. She owed me a favor, and she’s always up for being the center of attention.”

“I’ll say,” Rey marveled. “Seems you collect favors.”

Armitage smiled a little but said nothing as Rey made the conscious decision not to get on his bad side.

Rey watched as Almeaa moved across the stage as if she owned it, picking out the best attributes of her auctioned Aristos and making sure the crowd was sufficiently excited for each bid. She had the crowd screaming and vying for dates, even for the lesser-known sentients.

“What’s this charity for, anyway?” Rey finally thought to ask.

Armitage’s eyes didn’t shift over to her as he answered. “Money to help families that were negatively impacted by the Imperial occupation of Arkanis. Though the Empire is long gone, its presence lingered on this planet and not everyone was better for it.”

“That’s admirable,” Rey granted, earning her a slight nod.

“Ahhh,” he said as his attention shifted back to the stage. “Time for the main attraction.”

Ben was standing on the opposite side of the stage from them, waiting for his cue to walk on. After Almeaa finished announcing the winning bid for a stout, attractive Koorivar male, her whole mood shifted. Even the crowd responded.

This was it. The main event. Everyone seemed to realize that Ben was up next and Rey watched from across the stage as he took a deep breath, straightened his back, raised his chin, and waited for the call. His thick cape was draped over his body, hiding the stunning fabric creation within, a creation that _she’d _had her hands all over.

She shouldn’t have felt half as smug as she did, but she’d been the one to help him get ready and she’d been the one in his arms earlier, too. These people could bid all they wanted for his attention and, admittedly, they were financing an admirable cause, but ultimately, _she _was the one he was going home with.

Was she feeling possessive about Ben? Maybe. She’d never cared enough about anyone to feel possessive about them before, but she was sure that was what she felt. Though, her mood surged a little when Ben caught her eye from across the stage as he gave her a purposeful wink before blowing a kiss in her direction.

_Mine,_ the errant thought fluttered through her mind, and somehow, she felt _his _response echo back to her: _Yours._

“And now, for who you’ve all been waiting for,” Almeaa’s smooth voice purred over the din.

The crowd held its breath as Ben stepped onto the stage. He paused for a long moment and commanded the attention of the entire room. And finally, when every eye was on him, he stepped forward in time with the thundering beat of the music. Chin high, Ben looked down on the crowd like a king surveying his subjects his from upon a dais.

He was royalty. Here _everyone _knew it, and he was also the main draw.

“He’s going to make your charity a fortune,” Rey said softly.

Armitage hummed thoughtfully. “That is the plan, my dear bodyguard. Now, we wait and watch as the credits roll in.”

Almeaa held out her hand, jewels and bangles glittering as she uncurled her fingers towards where Ben stood. “Presenting Ben Solo, Prince of Alderaan and our hearts. Are we ready to bid?”

An energetic hum went through the crowd as Ben smiled and Rey had to admit, the look that graced his face made it seem like he was smiling at some unknown secret that he was just about to divulge. He drew people into his confidence, Rey realized at the same time she noted that he’d never used _this _particular smile with her. This smile was all show.

“Why don’t you tell the audience what a winning bid will get them, Ben?” Almeaa directed.

Ben obliged, a magnetic smile in place as he surveyed the crowd. His lashes fluttered as he took a slow breath. “One evening at the Bespin Opera with me,” he purred, his voice a deeper tenor than normal.

Some sort of auditory system was projecting his voice, but Rey realized he was using what sounded like a stage voice. It added to his wicked appeal, though Rey thought she found she preferred his normal voice. Probably because it lacked affectation, but this voice, and every move he made, was carefully calculated. A performer on a stage and an eager, receptive crowd that lapped it all up.

And right before the bidding started, Ben cocked his hip while trailing his hands up along his abdomen, reaching high above his head. Slowly, he stretched, extending his arms wide as he began to reveal the true glory of his outfit.

Almeaa grinned. “Shall we start the bidding at ten thousand credits?” she said, _just _as Ben’s cape dropped away dramatically, pooling at his feet as he stepped forward, parted his lips, and caught his tongue suggestively in his teeth.

The spotlight lit Ben where he stood, and just as Rey had thought, his dress looked _alive._ The butterfly-shaped pattern of his gown rippled to life as he shimmied slowly.

Several people cried out, at least one sentient fainted dead away and had to be taken out by the supplementary security, and several hundred hands and appendages shot into the air as the first bid was announced. On and on, the bids got higher and higher. These sentients were willing to spend more than Rey would make in a _lifetime _just for the chance to spend an evening with Ben.

And here, she was being _paid _to be with him. She should consider herself lucky, Rey mused, but he always acted like she was the one doing him the favor. Wouldn’t this crowd be jealous to know that? Not that she wanted to work this crowd up any more than they already were.

Rey had to admit, the way they were practically climbing over each other to bid was kind of concerning, so it was no longer a surprise that Ben had sought out the services of a bodyguard—even if it was a bodyguard that he kind of seemed to have a thing for. Regardless, Rey took this job, like all of her jobs, seriously. Her eyes scanned the crowd and took in the myriad of sentients before her eyes, all clamoring for a piece of Ben Solo.

It was almost… sad. Rey supposed it was good that he was using his celebrity for Armitage’s charity, but the crowd was giving off the distinct impression that they didn’t think of Ben as a sentient, but as something to possess. Maybe something to gossip about for clout? No wonder he didn’t trust easily if this was the reaction his presence garnered.

And even when he _did _trust, people had betrayed him. His sex-holo was evidence of that. Maybe that was what drew him to her? She didn’t want anything from him, not really. And hadn’t even really known who he was until Finn had introduced Ben to her. She didn’t want his wealth, or his prestige, or anything like that.

If she wanted anything it was to know him better. To see if there was a stable foundation that their desire for each other could be built upon. And so far, he surprised her with his depth, even if he still held part of himself back.

Rey watched on as Ben seamlessly moved across the stage, standing in ways that best highlighted his broad form, the surreal movement of his dress, or moving just close enough to the crowd that they could _almost _touch him. The bids kept rolling in, pushing the credit amount higher, and higher until it bordered on obscene.

The bidding continued for a while before finally stalling out. The winning bid was going to be astronomical. And here they were, the wealthy bidding on the chance to spend time with an even wealthier sentient. The whole thing was repugnant, but at least they were going to get a hell of a lot of credits for charity.

The crowd settled as time stalled between the last bid and Almeaa’s final offer. “One million credits… going once…”

Faces and bodies shifted as everyone seemed to be wondering whether another bid would be made.

Just before Almeaa could call out again, a voice chimed above the low din, “One million, five hundred thousand credits.”

_Female, humanoid, _Rey was able to make out—and very gaudily dressed. Rey could barely see the sentient that had called out with the obscene bid for as much as her shining clothing made it impossible to look right at her.

“One million, five hundred thousand going once…”

A pause.

“Going twice…”

Another pause, this one longer, before finally, “And the winning bid goes to…”

But before the bid could close, a hand shot up, breaking from the crowd with another bid! This time, it was two million credits! The crowd grumbled at first, then came the yelling—and the shoving. People were quickly losing any sense of decorum and the whole energy of the room soured as Rey watched, concerned.

In the chaos, it was hard to tell who had the winning bid or not. Almeaa tried to make sense of it with the help of a harried-looking assistant, while the mood in the crowd shifted again.

_This is dangerous, _Rey realized, and Ben must have felt it too because he looked over at her and held her gaze.

Without pause, Rey hurried to where Ben was standing, and just in time too. The mass of bodies surrounding the stage pressed closer, and when Rey was just about at Ben, a sentient clamored onto the stage with a fevered look in their eye, and headed _right _toward him.

* * *

**Author's Notes: ** Not much to say other than I hope you all are doing well and staying healthy. Sorry for the lil cliffie, but this was getting long. Thanks for reading and for your comments <3 Any mistakes are my own.

* * *

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	14. Piece of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben deals with the stage jumper, a too-handsy woman, and his ex while Rey tries to keep her hand off of her blaster and her head in the game. A private moment in Ben's dressing room speaks of more to come between him and Rey, while a nasty surprise awaits on the red carpet.

Rey rushed forward, hand at the ready on her blaster, but before she could get between Ben and the stage jumper, the most curious thing happened. With his hand outstretched, Rey stumbled to a stop just behind Ben, watching as the human woman stopped dead in her tracks. Something was holding her back! Her eyes bulged as she strained against her invisible bonds, like she was trying with all her might to move, but couldn’t.

_Ben’s powers… _Rey thought back to his birthday, and the strange way he always seemed to know what she was thinking and feeling. At first, she’d been content to dismiss it all as parlor tricks, but as their connection grew, and with the woman standing frozen before her and Ben, Rey realized that perhaps she too had underestimated Ben Solo.

She’d thought that he needed a bodyguard, and he most definitely needed someone to watch his back with fans like this, but when it came to defending himself, he wasn’t too bad at that. The woman was heavily made up with dark brown hair, unnaturally pink skin, and enveloped by layers upon layers of clothing.

Where Ben generally favored less clothing, some Aristos went with decidedly more. Rey realized it was to show off their wealth—that they had enough credits to afford the voluminous, expensive fabrics and jewels, but it often made them look weighed down.

Ben cocked his head a little as his hand returned to his side, but Rey could just make out the subtle motion of his long fingers as he twisted them in the air. The woman’s whole demeanor shifted. Where she’d looked almost obsessive when she first tried to move towards Ben, she now looked up at him like she had no idea who he was or what she’d been doing.

_More powers?_ Rey wondered.

“What is… Where am…?” The woman stuttered.

“Ahh! Looks like someone jumped the gun,” Almeaa seamlessly cut in, while two droids materialized from behind the stage and ushered the confused-looking woman away.

Almeaa turned and stared into the crowd, a perfectly crafted expression of amusement on her face, though her eyes were anything but. Rey could tell she was _pissed,_ but she was good enough at her job not to show it.

Though Aristo events always made her anxious, maybe this time Rey’d been wrong to worry? There was no threat, just an overzealous fan who’d thought they won when they hadn’t. Still, something was off. Her gut told her not to relax—that more was yet to come.

_I need that combat umbrella is what I need, _Rey mentally chided herself. She’d been so wrapped up in _holding hands _that she’d forgotten the multipurpose shield. All at once, Rey noticed she was in the middle of the stage, though thankfully the spotlight missed her. She slinked back behind the stage and found a waiting Hux, who _also _looked pissed.

“Well, that sure was something,” Rey muttered before turning back to watch Ben as the real winner came onto the stage.

The crowded parted as a tall Pantoran woman was revealed. She was almost as tall as Ben and fell into the “less is more” fashion category, like Ben. Her barely-there outfit featured a red, sheer top that didn’t so much cover her breasts as enhance them.

A tight, black underbust corset wrapped around her waist and flared slightly over her hips. The sheer red of her top continued in a long, flowing skirt trimmed with waves of fabric that shimmered as she strode closer to Ben. Similar to Ben, she wore tiny underthings beneath her skirt, but not much else. Against her pale blue skin, the red of the outfit popped and commanded attention. But it wasn’t just her outfit that drew the eye, but her imposing aura.

Her facial tattoos gleamed against her skin, shining silver as the stylized whorls caught the light. Her long, light-purple hair glimmered, cascading down her back. She _knew _she looked good and, more to the point, she looked like she thought she deserved to be the winner of Ben’s auction.

Aristos were notorious for feeling entitled to every little thing in the galaxy, and Rey assumed that extended to Ben. Though he was also an Aristo, his reputation for being a playboy made everyone feel like they were entitled to a piece of him—at least as far as Galaxy Glitter and his fans went.

It probably helped keep him in the holos, but it couldn’t be a healthy way to live. Still, it wasn’t Rey’s business. She was here to guard him and he looked relaxed and was beaming at the woman with his very public smile.

The Pantoran woman closed in on Ben, and Almeaa introduced her. “Presenting Cirraen Lindet from the moon of Pantora, who had the winning bid for Ben Solo’s time of two million credits—and just in the nick of time because I almost called it,” Almeaa drawled, and even Rey could tell that the auctioneer had been annoyed by the last-minute bid and the chaos that had ensued afterward.

_She’s nobility, _Rey thought as she looked on.

Cirraen leaned in, breasts brushing against Ben’s arm as she reached up to gently stroke his face. Rey tried, and failed, not to hate her with every fiber of her being. Ben, for his part, side-stepped her a little, smile still in place as Cirraen winked.

Rey ground her teeth, jaw clicking painfully before she reminded herself to relax.

_This is his job. This is who he is. She’s… just a customer? _

Of course, it wouldn’t have been so fucking hard to stomach if they didn’t look so perfect together. And _both _were nobility! Made for each other, even. Before Rey could spiral any further, Armitage cut into her thoughts with a dramatic groan.

“I always hated this part,” he huffed.

“What’s that?” Rey asked. The governor had one arm positioned under the other, chin set firmly in his hand as he watched Ben. The scowl on his face told Rey everything she needed to know.

“The fans. Never could quite get used to the fact that he wasn’t only mine.”

Rey could see what he meant. It was hard to watch as Ben was fawned over by others. Anyone with eyes could see that he was just doing what needed to be done, but maybe that wasn’t the case for the governor? Maybe jealousy and insecurity had made even someone like Armitage Hux feel like a third wheel in Ben’s relationship between himself and his public.

“He does what he needs to do. He’s doing it _for _you,” she reminded him, even as she fought her own feelings.

Armitage flicked his hand a little and shook his head. “And he does it so well. He’d have made a great politician if he had any inclination.”

“So, you’d have to deal with his mother and him in the Senate?” Rey deadpanned.

Armitage let out a surprised sounding laugh. “Well, my dear smuggler, when you put it that way. I do imagine one Organa is quite sufficient, and those two are good enough at finding themselves in trouble without the Senate.”

Rey was about to ask the governor what he meant by that, but a high-pitched peal of laughter drew her eyes back to Ben.

_Okay, Ben can be funny, but not that funny! _Rey thought uncharitably.

Cirraen had angled close again, her hand brushing over Ben’s bicep. Rey turned her gaze toward the crowd, which stared on at the display, envy almost palpable as they stared at Ben and Cirraen. Cirraen smiled broadly and visibly squeezed Ben’s muscles while the crowd looked on. Some grumbled, some swooned, and Rey growled.

He was polite and indulgent through it all, like her antics had no impact on him. As if she was _entitled _to act like such a handsy bitch. Rey could feel her blood pressure rising. Her fist curled at her side and she had to resist the urge to reach out and check that her blaster was still on her hip.

It was silly. This was his job, wasn’t it? Rey looked over and saw a little flash of knowing cross Armitage’s face and realized that she’d been caught acting just as jealous as he once had. But that wasn’t quite right. She wasn’t _only _jealous. She didn’t own Ben, but the lack of respect being shown to him by the auction winner was astounding.

By the time she looked back toward the stage, Cirraen was practically rubbing her face into Ben’s chest, and it wasn’t until Almeaa came over and disentangled the woman that she stopped.

“Let’s not damage the merchandise,” Almeaa quipped before twirling Cirraen on the stage and away from Ben.

Cirraen tittered as she stared back at Ben. Rey didn’t like the way she was looking at him, not one bit. Her eyes were like saucers and her fingers were perched in front of her lips like she almost couldn’t contain herself—and, really, she hadn’t. Whatever she was seeing when she looked at Ben, it wasn’t a person. And he was a person, not an object, but who’d have known it judging from how the crowd reacted.

He was a thing to be possessed by them. A presence to be around so that they could prop up their own popularity by his proximity. He wasn’t Ben Solo. He was _The Ben Solo, Prince of Alderaan, and the Galaxy’s Playboy._ They didn’t know him, but they wanted him and everything that he pretended to be.

But Rey knew there was more to Ben than met the eye, and there was something about him being here that didn’t quite add up. He owed Armitage, he’d said, but for what? What could possibly be worth all this? And, more to the point, he’d have to spend time alone with Cirraen, wouldn’t he?

Rey made a face as the woman squealed while Almeaa described what she’d won with her bid.

“Rather repugnant, isn’t she?” Armitage offered.

“I don’t know how he’s managing to look so…” Rey gestured at him. He looked stunning and entirely at ease, but she didn’t miss the few times he’d slowly raised his hand, running those long fingers through his hair as he let the soothing scent from his herbal concoction flutter over his senses.

Armitage huffed. “Yes, well, he’s had practice pretending to like horrible people since childhood—son of a princess and senator, and all that.”

“I can’t even pretend,” Rey admitted as Armitage chuckled softly.

“Oh, I’m more than realizing that,” he mused. “Still, I wouldn’t worry.”

“What do you mean?”

“He only has eyes for you.” A slow smile spread across Armitage’s face and, for the first time since meeting him, she thought him handsome. Too bad his face was almost always stuck in a scowl.

Rey blinked up at the governor as his words settled. She hazarded another look at Ben and, sure enough, he caught her eye as a private smile, one of _hers, _quickly curled his lips before his head tilted as he took Cirraen’s hand.

Rey wasn’t sure what to do with that piece of information, especially considering it had come from his ex, but she filed it away to think about later. Ben took a slow step back as he drew Cirraen’s hand to his lips while dipping into an elegant bow.

The entire time, he held Rey’s gaze, staring at her as if _she _was the one he was bowing to, as if it was _her_ hand in his, as if the lips pressing softly against the back of Cirraen’s hand were pressing into _hers_. She could almost feel it, like sensation and feelings were flowing through that look and shimmering through her.

Rey’s body felt tingly, hot, and full up of emotion. She bit her lip as Ben stared on, his gaze lingering for a beat as he pulled back and caught his bottom lip between his teeth, mimicking her action before his lips spread into a charming smile. Whether Cirraen thought it was all for her, Rey wasn’t certain, because the only presence in the room that Rey could perceive was _his._

What happened next made realize that Cirraen had _no _idea that Ben wasn’t reacting to her. She reached out, hands splayed against him as she leaned forward and rubbed her face into his _chest. _Rey’s hands clenched at her sides as she tried to keep herself from reaching for her blaster.

“Ah, a bit much, isn’t she?” Armitage commented lightly, but as Rey looked over, she thought even the snarky governor looked angry.

“It’s insane that she thinks this is appropriate,” Rey growled.

Armitage lifted a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “He’s not real to them. Just a pretty toy to use.”

“And you’re okay with this?”

The governor’s eyes flashed before his disaffected expression slipped back into place. “I am not, but it’s part of who he is.”

“Nobody deserves to be treated like a _thing._ He’s a person,” Rey continued, but Armitage waved her off.

“We all have our roles to play, bodyguard. Even you.”

Rey looked over at Armitage and watched as something like regret flitted across his face before his expression hardened. He had a role to play—in the Senate, in life, in public. It wasn’t fair, but life rarely was. Rey assumed the best anyone could hope for was to find someone who was at least playing on the same stage as she was.

But Ben wasn’t on her stage, he wasn’t even in the same galaxy as her as far as power and influence went. She’d somehow stumbled into his story and she wondered whether she’d make it through to the conclusion or if she’d end up cut from the performance—or worse. So, Rey stood and played her part. Watching from the wings when all she wanted to do was swoop in and wring that Aristo woman’s neck.

Almeaa was starting to wind down the auction as Ben gave a final wave before letting Cirraen curl her arm around his as he led her off the stage. Without prying eyes, the woman was even more insufferable as she leaned in and let her breasts brush against Ben again. Rey’s jaw clenched as she stood and watched, trying to keep her expression neutral and probably failing.

Cirraen stared up at Ben as they worked out how to arrange their date. Her scent had filtered in with her presence and it reminded her of too-ripe fruit, just as ostentatious and obnoxious as the Pantoran woman was.

It was decided that Ben would have his droid contact her later or something like that. Rey was having a hard time paying attention given how badly she wanted to throttle the handsy, smelly woman, which only got worse as she _again _leaned in, breasts skimming against his chest this time as she asked, “But what if I want more than _one _date?”

Ben smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes, but Rey was certain the woman didn’t notice. “Oh, we can’t always get what we want, but I’m sure we’ll enjoy our time together. And who knows what the future holds?”

Rey knew a non-answer when she heard one, but Cirraen wasn't satisfied. “Well, what about now?”

“Now?” Ben repeated. Evidently, he’d not expected her to keep insisting.

Rey almost stepped forward, already halfway done making up an excuse to get him out of spending more time with the woman, but Armitage subtly held his hand out to the side, indicating she should wait.

Whatever he had planned, the Aristo woman was probably more likely to go along with what a governor said, instead of some bodyguard. Armitage straightened his back, raised his chin, and threw on a devastating smile.

_What games these Aristos play… _Rey marveled as Armitage was absolutely shameless.

“Oh, _precious_,” Armitage called. Ben cocked his head to the side. A quizzical expression crossed his face before he could clamp down on it. “We have a pressing matter to attend to.”

Ben beamed at Armitage like he’d just offered him a lifeline. “Of course, how could I forget? Do be sure to have your people speak with my people,” Ben purred to Cirraen. It was a dismissal, but evidently not one that Cirraen was interested in abiding with.

“I’m sure it can’t be _that _important! I _am _the auction winner, after all. Surely you can spare some time for me.”

Armitage looked over at Rey, who was doing her best not to show how angry she was but wasn’t doing a very good job of it. The governor gave her a wink before he strolled over to Ben’s side. Together, they were almost the same height, but where Ben was tall and broad, Armitage was wiry, and his bulk came from the voluminous layers of his robes.

Still, he looked every bit the governor he was as he stared down his nose at Cirraen. Rey’d been on the receiving end of that look earlier, so she could attest to how impressive it was—even if it had made her want to punch him in his smarmy face.

Armitage curled his arm around Ben’s, leaning in ever so slightly, voice a breathy purr as he asked, “Ready, Ben?” The governor ignored what Cirraen had said, and was completely ignoring her presence. Which was hard to do considering how much of her body was on display.

Fortunately, Armitage and Ben both seemed immune to her “charms.” Cirraen glared at where Armitage was wrapped around Ben and was just about to say something—probably nasty, from the looks of it, when Ben cut in.

He dipped his head to the side, lips set into an apologetic smile as he said, “I’ll look forward to our outing,” he assured her, which seemed to placate the woman, at least somewhat.

Cirraen huffed. She was obviously _not _used to not getting her way. “I’ll have my people contact your people, as you said then.” She glared up at the governor, decidedly losing out on this little Aristo game.

Rey watched as Cirraen squared her shoulders and plastered on a too-nice smile. This time, _she _ignored Armitage while reaching out to give Ben’s cheek a gentle squeeze.

“Until next time, Ben.”

Ben’s nose flared a little, but his smile stayed in place as he replied, “Until next time.”

Finally, the woman left as one of the serving droids led her from the area. Leaving Armitage, Ben, and Rey alone behind the stage. Armitage stepped away from Ben, but not before giving his arm a friendly squeeze.

“You always did have a hard time saying ‘no’ to sentients, even when they most assuredly should be hearing it more frequently,” he mused while Ben’s shoulder slumped a little.

“One of the few things I didn’t pick up from my mother,” Ben replied.

“Indeed. Your mother _does_ so love to say ‘no.’”

The men laughed a little, probably sharing some private memory. In another life, these two could have taken on the galaxy together, Rey thought. But they’d wanted different things. Still, it was nice to see that not all relationships ended with hurt feelings and heartache.

_Must be nice. Losing a lover, but keeping a friend, _she mused. Didn’t seem possible, really, but Rey’d had a hard enough time keeping friends given how frequently she moved around. The thought of willingly letting someone like Ben go was beyond her ability to comprehend. If _she _had him, she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to let him leave.

“This will get around,” Ben mused, and Rey silently agreed. She’d most definitely be reading about a potential rekindling of Ben and Armitage’s relationship in Galaxy Glitter’s blast, not that there was any basis in reality for that.

Activity started to pick up behind the stage. Droids were flowing this way and that, while sentients of all sorts seemed to be working out the after-auction refreshments and entertainment.

“I’m sure you’ve had worse things said about you,” Armitage replied. “And, besides, the last thing I needed was your bodyguard making a scene back here—blood is so dreadfully difficult to get rid of.”

“I wasn’t going to…” Rey stalled as the governor looked at her, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised.

Okay, so maybe she’d had her hand on her blaster, but it wasn’t like she was going to use it. Just… do whatever needed to be done to get the woman away from Ben, that’s all.

“Both of you worry too much. I had things under control.”

“And were you going to stop before or after she decided to put her hand on your dick?” Armitage drawled.

Ben laughed. “You think she’d have been that shameless?”

“I know so. None of these newly rich Aristos have any sort of class.”

Rey snorted. If he thought that about other people with money, she could only imagine what the governor thought of a nobody like her. Even people with money had to have the _right_ kind of money, and for the right amount of time or they weren’t worthy of regard either. Rey thought it was a nasty sort of world to live in and, not for the first time, her heart clenched thinking about all that Ben must have endured with a smile.

Before Armitage and Ben could continue their snippy conversation, Almeaa floated in from the stage and she looked _pissed._

“Armitage, just what the fuck kind of security do you have here?” she asked before sweeping her long, flame-colored hair to the side. Her similarly red lips were pinched and her skin had taken on an even greener tone, as if registering her annoyance.

“You know I can’t account for Ben and his fanbase,” Armitage replied.

“And you know that I don’t believe that bullshit. Either employ security and droids that can be trusted or let me get you in touch with people who _really _know how to control a crowd.”

_Mercenaries, _Rey thought. _And Mandalorians_.

There were mercs all over the galaxy that doubled as security. Hell, Rey was one of them. And as long as the money kept flowing, their loyalty was mostly without question. Though, some were more unsavory than others, which was why Aristos like Armitage went with approved security options.

“I don’t need your Mandos, Almeaa. I just need Ben to wear more clothes.”

Almeaa huffed. “I pray to the Gods _that _never happens,” she said while giving Ben look. Even she wasn’t impervious to his charms, especially when there was so much of him on display.

“She’s probably right,” Ben cut in. “I really can’t be trusted to wear anything solid to events like this. Too hard to breathe in.” Illustrating his point, Ben arched his chest a little, wide rib cage expanding slowly as the blue-butterfly fabric of his dress tightened across his muscles.

_Yeah, here’s hoping he doesn’t start taking cues from Armitage anytime soon, _Rey thought before she could stop herself. From the pleased look on his face, she knew he’d heard her loud thoughts.

Almeaa sighed and curled her hand in Ben’s direction. “One of the most treasured jewels of the New Republic, and you have sentry droids from the Clone Wars protecting him.”

Armitage glared. “They’re top of the line.”

“And he’s top of the food chain. I _do _hope you have better security for the actual event,” Almeaa continued.

Rey’d not thought of that. Here, she’d almost been happy that the auction was over, but she’d forgotten about the part where Ben had to really and truly go on what was basically a date with Cirraen. That was going to be rich.

Almeaa rubbed her fingers into her temples. “Well, I’m off the clock and I swear if there’s not ichor in my dressing room, I’m going to reprogram one of your droids to do some murder—Ben, always a pleasure.”

And with hardly a look spared for either Rey or Armitage, Almeaa turned, strips of fabric trailing in the air behind her as she commandeered a protocol droid and wrangled them into showing her where her dressing room was.

Armitage groaned softly. “Well, I’ve had just about enough of today.” His sullen, dark droid had chosen that moment to come over and stand beside his master, likely sensing his mood.

“If you will please follow me,” the droid called, though he sounded like he’d prefer to be doing anything other than leading sentients around.

“Ready?” Ben asked as he turned to Rey.

“Mmm, yeah. I’m more than ready.”

To her surprise, Ben hung back and gently wrapped her arm around his, leading Rey along as they both trailed behind Armitage and his droid. It wasn’t long before they were back at Ben’s dressing room.

“Well, I’d like to say that we’re even now, but we both know that would be a lie,” the governor said with a knowing look at Ben. “But we’re getting there.”

“I do appreciate all that you’ve done,” Ben replied cryptically. Rey wasn’t going to ask why Ben owed Armitage anything, but she was curious. Maybe there’d be something in the older gossip holos about it?

Armitage came over and gave Ben a quick kiss on the cheek before stepping back. “Tell your mother that she doesn’t have to challenge _everything _I put forth in the Senate. We may not like each other, but sometimes I think we could work towards the same end.”

Ben laughed a little. “I’ll try my best.”

Armitage nodded, evidently satisfied, and Rey thought he’d leave without much more fuss, but he turned and acknowledged her.

“Smuggler,” he said with a little wave as his dark droid led him away. She wasn’t sure that she liked him, but after spending some time with him, she wasn’t sure that she disliked him either. Armitage was a solid maybe, even if he did refuse to use her name.

Ben dimmed the lights in his dressing room and Rey realized that they were alone together for the first time in hours.

“Well, that was something,” Ben finally said as he collapsed into the plush cushions of the couch.

“How do you manage with that shit?” Rey grumbled. She was tired just remembering it all. The screaming. The pawing. The whole event had been chaotic, and he still had to go on a date with that repugnant woman after all that. Rey quickly made her way over to the refreshment table, which had been replenished since they’d last been in the dressing room.

Lots of small finger foods—mostly meats and vegetables, from the looks of it.

“I’d kill for some fucking bread,” she grumbled while quickly munching on some broccoli—at least the dip was flavorful.

“Too many carbs,” Ben replied.

Rey looked over her shoulder. “Seriously?”

Ben shook his head before reaching up to run his fingers through his long locks. “No, but I think these foods reflect Armitage’s preferences and not mine.”

“Oh, yeah. That makes sense,” she replied, though it really didn’t. At least, not to her. Aristos had access to the best in the galaxy and then went out of their way to be picky. She’d never had that kind of luxury, so whenever food was presented, Rey did her best to take advantage of it.

_Which sometimes gets me into trouble, _she thought, remembering the ichor incident from the spice run to Dev’s back on Cantonica. Rey eyed a drink suspiciously, but as she pressed it against her lips, she realized it was just sparkling water.

Sated, at least for the moment, Rey turned back and offered Ben a glass, which he accepted with a smile.

“Don’t forget to stay hydrated,” she chided. One look at his abs and she _knew _he wasn’t.

Ben chuckled softly. “Rey, I didn’t know you cared.”

“Oh, no. Just can’t have you passing out the next time I make my way onto your lap,” she joked.

“Can’t have that, can we?” Ben replied before downing the cool liquid with one quick motion.

“No, I’m sure there’s something in Maz’s agreement about making sure you stay healthy and alive, and besides...” she trailed off before taking his empty glass.

“Hmm?” Ben prompted.

“If you drop dead, who’s going to be around to tease me?”

“Ah, and I am so good at teasing you, aren’t I?”

Rey’s cheeks flushed a little, but a smile still worked its way onto her face. “You are.”

Ben winked before curling his fingers at Rey. “Come here.”

Though she was inclined to say no out of habit, she was too tired to put up a fight. Dropping his glass off back at the table, she walked over to where he sat. This time, she settled beside Ben and into his solid strength.

“That was terrible,” she finally huffed.

Ben pressed a soft kiss to her brow. “What was?”

“The yelling. The mess. That stage jumper—and Cirraen. She was the _worst._”

“Are you jealous?” he asked, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

“No. Protective!” she replied, a little too forcefully. It was both a lie and more than she’d intended to say. Okay, so she _was _jealous, but she also wished that he was someone she could protect—not that she hadn’t been hired to do just that, but she didn’t only want to protect his body. Rey strangely felt like wanted to protect his heart, too. But that certainly went beyond the scope of her job description.

Ben chucked her chin softly. “I’m nothing more than a commodity to them. Might as well play the part.” He said it like he believed it, voice hollow.

Watching Ben interact with his fans had made Rey aware just how much of his personality was hidden behind the public mask he wore, and how much he had to work to keep that mask in place. He was strong, confident, beautiful, but there was a fragility behind the performance. How much more could Ben take before he broke? Rey didn’t want to find out.

She knew what it was like to live in a world where no one ever really knew the real her. She might not have been a celebrity, but she knew loneliness, and she could see it in Ben.

“Ben, you don’t owe them anything.”

He smiled, but Rey could tell how tired he was and how much the auction had taken out of him, even as he replied with, “I owe them _everything. _In so many ways, I’m nothing without them.”

“That’s not true. You’re something to me—_someone _to me,” she said quietly. She just knew her face was every shade of red, but it felt important that he know that. Even if it were to all go to shit, and it probably would, she needed him to know that he wasn’t alone, even if he felt that way.

In the quiet of Ben’s dressing room, the sounds seemed amplified and Rey’s heart was beating so hard in her chest, she was almost certain he could hear it. For long moments, Ben stared at her, lips parted, eyes wide as what she’d just said seemed to settle within him. No masks. No games. Just the truth.

Slowly, he reached out and wrapped his arm around her. Rey almost fell into his lap, but maybe that’d been his plan. He pulled her closer, arms slipping under her as he fit her to his body and held tight. And, she had to admit, it felt nice to be in his lap again, even if the circumstances were different from the first time.

“I think that’s once of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me, smuggler,” he said finally, lips brushing against her brow as he spoke.

Rey huffed against his chest, the ultra-soft fabric of his fantastic gown brushing her cheek as she replied, “Don’t get used to it.”

Ben chuckled. “I won’t.”

Rey nibbled her lip as she thought back to what they’d done in the dressing room earlier, and Ben must have followed her thoughts because he pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before saying, “We can continue later.”

“I wasn’t…” Rey sputtered.

Ben’s lip quirked. She _had _been thinking about before and whether there’d be something more later. And, after all that he’d had to endure with Cirraen… Well, Rey was feeling a little less than charitable and a little more jealous than she’d otherwise have liked. Still, she was in his lap and Cirraen wasn’t. Even if the Aristo woman had a date with him, Rey knew that Ben was a consummate professional. She had nothing to worry about.

Though, she did want to break the audacious woman’s nose. Still, it wasn’t the only thing that happened during the event. Rey thought back to how Ben had used his powers to stop that stage runner in her tracks. And before she could even get the words out, he was answering.

“It’s a power I’ve used over others… and others have used me for,” he cryptically explained.

“Stopping someone in their tracks like that is pretty impressive, but she’d also seemed confused.”

“She was. It’s not something I like to do often, but the Force does give access to abilities that some find… a little unsavory.”

“Like the… what were they, Sith?”

Ben laughed a little before ducking his head. His lips pressed against the column of her throat as he replied. “Nothing that dark, but kind of. The power to control one’s mind belongs to a Jedi and a Sith, but I don’t like to use it unless I have to. Manipulating someone’s mind like that… It’s not something that I enjoy, let’s just say that.”

“I’m sorry you were put in that situation,” Rey offered.

Ben shrugged, but his arms tightened around her. “I’ve been through worse and, for now, I have more pressing matters to attend to.”

“Like?”

“Like the decadent smuggler who’s almost in my lap,” he purred.

“I am _not _almost in your lap,” she balked.

“But you’d like to be.”

“Maybe I would, but you still smell like Cirraen.”

Ben looked a little chagrinned. “Let me make it up to you,” he said. His lips trailed upwards before gently pressing against the sensitive skin behind her ear as he waited for her reply.

“How?” Even she could hear the pout in her voice.

Ben’s laugh rumbled against her skin. “First, we’ll make sure you’re fed up, showered, and comfortable,” he drawled. “And then I’ll have _my _dessert.”

Rey swallowed thickly. She didn’t feel like resisting him—not this time. There was something more blooming between him and she’d be a fool to turn down his advances now, wouldn’t she? Rey’d been wrong about Ben and his intentions before, and maybe she did owe herself this one sweet indulgence.

“What about me?” she managed softly. “What if _I _want dessert?”

She could feel his smile against her throat as his lips gently plucked kisses into her skin. “Oh, it’s the kind of dessert that’s best shared.”

Rey leaned into his touch, arching her neck a little as his lips teased her. For someone who had a reputation for being a playboy, Ben sure made a girl feel like she was the center of his galaxy. Whenever she was with Ben and the focus of his attention, everything else seemed to slip away, especially her practicality and good sense.

But the more she was with him and the more he gently pulled her into his orbit, the more she realized that maybe keeping walls up only kept people out and didn’t do so much to keep her heart safe. Expecting bad things to happen instead of dealing with them when they did was a sure-fire way to suffer twice. And hadn’t she suffered enough?

Rey shifted, slipping fully into his lap. With his legs spread wide, she hitched her own up and over his thick thigh and leaned in tight. Ben hummed thoughtfully before his arms slipped under her, shifting Rey so that he had better access to her skin.

Her outfit didn’t reveal much, but what it did expose Ben managed to find. His lips trailed, his fingers sucked, and soon she was wiggling in his lap and wanting so much more than she’d be able to get from him in this place.

Still, she could get a little more. Before she could think better of it, Rey braced her hands on his chest and shifted herself so that instead of sitting in his lap, she straddled it. His broad body made it a little hard to spread her legs, but his hands held her hips tight and she settled in.

“Better?” he teased.

“Mmm, much,” Rey admitted before leaning in to place a slow kiss on his lips.

This was what she’d wanted. There was a distinct kind of pleasure that came from kissing Ben. Rey got the impression that he didn’t do it often—that not everyone was fortunate enough to feel his lips on theirs. For one, she’d _never _seen him kissing anyone on the mouth in any of the photos of him, and she’d seen hundreds.

So, that he was giving a piece of himself that he didn’t seem to share with others meant a lot to her. Ben let her take the lead, lips parting as her tongue gently skimmed over his own. The kiss was slow, like they had all the time in the world to sit and enjoy each other. Sometimes, the need between them was a frantic, fiery thing. But now, it was patient, with a desperate sort of wanting.

Like they were both holding back for fear of needing more. And Rey _did_ want more. Wanted to feel the hard press of him against her body. Wanted to feel his touch and tongue and lips on places that were hidden by clothes. Wanted to feel him from _within_. He was so tempting, but here she was, tempting him just the same.

His long nose gently pressed into her cheek as she deepened the kiss, and Rey found she loved the feeling. That soft touch on her cheek made her smile and laugh a little against his lips as Ben drew back with a dramatic sigh.

“It’s always getting in the way.”

Rey leaned in and pressed a kiss against the tip of his nose. “No! It’s lovely. I love it.”

“My nose?” Ben asked.

From this close, she could see every imperfect, perfect detail of his face. The irregular swipe of his nose, the freckles and moles that contrasted with his pale skin, the full shape of his lips as he spoke, the rise of his dark brow as he looked at her, disbelieving. He was beautiful to her—beautiful to so many people. But there was a vulnerability to his words and expression that made Rey realize that, perhaps, he didn’t believe it.

“All of you, but especially your nose,” she insisted with another gentle kiss.

He grumbled a little, but apparently was going to take Rey at her word. Ben’s hand gently squeezed against her hip as he reluctantly shifted her. “Help me undress? The sooner we’re out of here, the sooner we can get on with our evening.”

Rey gave a nod before slipping off of him so they both could stand. Even though she’d helped him dress before, there was an undercurrent that ran between them now, as if he was looking to reaffirm their connection just as much as she was. Her hands skimmed across his tight body as Rey helped him take off the stunning dress. Fabric fluttered as she gently put the dress into his hovering wardrobe.

Before she could turn back, Ben was behind her, arms wrapped tight around her middle as he seemed to take a moment to just breathe her in.

“One last run at the red carpet,” he murmured. “You ready for this?”

Rey nodded as she pressed back against his broad body. His warmth radiated around her and she realized that there was no other place in the galaxy that she’d rather be.

But the night was only beginning. Ben let his arm drop as he drew his fingertips along the length of her arm before giving Rey’s hand a squeeze. Her stomach flipped a little while she considered the possibilities of what was yet to come between them once they got back to Ben’s apartment.

* * *

It didn’t take long for Ben to change, and Armitage had arranged for Ben’s things to be shuttled back to his place, so there wasn’t any need to wait for droids to gather things up.

“What about 3PO?” Rey wondered as they left the safety and privacy of his dressing room.

“If he’s done his job, then he’ll be waiting in the shuttle for us,” Ben explained.

Rey was going to ask for some clarification, but by the time they stepped out from behind the stage and into the party, it was too hard for her to hear. The music thumped as Ben stalked through the crowd. Fortunately, by the time people realized it was him, it was too late as he’d opted for a dark, tight-knit robe, with the hood up. It was a good enough disguise to get him to the exit without much trouble. Once there, Ben flipped the hood back, covertly took a sniff of his calming herbs, and then plastered on a brilliant smile to face the front.

If anything, things were _more _chaotic as people clamored to get one last look at Ben in the flesh. Still, his smile stayed on as he made his way down the carpet, taking time for fans and holonists all with this trademark grace and effervescent presence. Rey wondered how much of that came from his mother, or whether his father was at all as charming as Ben. Still, she couldn’t help but feel like the mood of the crowd had changed somehow. Hand on her blaster and combat umbrella ready, Rey stood back and watched as Ben moved along the carpet.

Before they’d all been excited to see Ben and some had thought there was a chance that they’d be able to spend time alone with him. That potential was lost with the winner called. Now, they all fought over scraps as he left pieces of himself all along the red carpet. A smile here. A laugh there. An autograph. A photo. Pieces and never the whole.

But these sentients didn’t want the whole picture. They just wanted the parts that they could show off and Ben knew it. Rey realized how hollow that must have made him feel and more than just a little used. But he was almost done now. Ben neared the end of the line and Rey shifted around to where the dark shuttle was waiting, door open.

3PO had already made his way back to the transport and his golden body gleamed from the front passenger seat as he watched. Rey wondered what the droid had gotten up to, but a stir from the crowd pulled her attention away from the droid. A shiver ran through her, reminding her of times where she’d been out on runs, only to find herself in a lurch. Someone was cutting through the crowd like it was hot butter and running right towards them.

Almeaa had been right to worry—Armitage’s inadequate security practically melted away as a huge Ovissian male dipped his chipped, yellowing horns and rammed into the crowd, splitting a line whether they moved or not and bullying his way to the front with a blaster in hand.

“This is payback, bitch!” he growled as Rey ran.

Seconds felt like hours as she frantically fought to get between Ben and the male, but could she make it in time? Rey watched, horror settling in as the Ovissian aimed…

And fired his blaster.

* * *

**Author’s Notes:** Hey all! Sorry it’s been a minute. Life’s been pretty garbo lately (sick, death in the family, lots of work, and then hurt my toe), so writing’s just been tough. Next chapter should be up a lot faster than this one because it’s mostly finished (and a fair bit o'smut, tbf). Anyways, thanks for your support, your lovely comments (which I’ll get to answering, sorry about that too), and for reading <3 Take care wherever you are! Any mistakes are my own 😊 Oh yeah, sorry about the double cliffy. Originally, the chapter should have just ended here, but I didn’t want to deal with like 15k in one go (the last chapter and this one together), so that’s that! I can only think of one *big* cliffy to come, but I guess we’ll see how things work out lol😊

* * *

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	15. Heal Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After escaping from the chaos at the auction, Rey and Ben retreat to his apartment. Rey tends to her wounds while Ben tends to... other matters. Despite having access to the biggest bed she's ever seen, sleep doesn't come easy for Rey, and she soon finds herself searching for comfort. Sensing her pain, Ben finds Rey alone in his living room and decides to dip between her legs and help her healing along in more ways than one.

Two shots rang out in quick succession. Rey reacted without thinking, putting herself between Ben and the oncoming blaster fire. Her arm extended, and quick as a flash, the combat umbrella opened. She was just in time to shield herself and Ben from the blaster bolts—mostly.

Another shot sounded, but this time, Ben was ready. The bolt froze in mid-air as Rey stared on. He’d stopped it dead in his tracks and kept the shot from hitting her exposed arm. Before the Ovissian could get another shot off, Armitage’s droids leaped from their posts and intercepted the male just as he turned to flee.

With a flick of his wrist, Ben redirected the blaster bolt and it shot harmlessly into the duracrete ground. Rey blinked at him and his, frankly, surprising display of power, but before she could say or do anything, the crowd _reacted._

People started screaming—some were pushing, and the last thing Rey wanted was to get caught in the middle of a stampede. Fortunately, the droids were doing a good job of containing the Ovissian and the crowd.

_At least they’re good for something, _Rey grumbled as she quickly ushered Ben to their waiting shuttle _just _before the crowd started to lose it. Fortunately, they were in the shuttle and out of the chaos before anyone could properly register what had happened.

Breathing hard and seated together on the long bench, Ben and Rey looked at each other.

“That was…”

“Shitty.”

Rey looked down at her leg and realized she was hurt. Part of the deflected blast had rounded the curve of the umbrella and simmered along Rey’s leg, burning a hole through her pants, singeing her skin. She’d not noticed until they were in the shuttle, but it wasn’t a bad wound and she’d been through worse. Before she could scoot away to deal with her wound, Ben had captured her around the waist and was pulling her against him.

“We have to stop this or people are going to start getting ideas,” she joked as she again found herself in his lap.

_I’m going to start getting ideas if he keeps this up, _she silently added to herself.

“I don’t care what people think. I care about you, and you’re hurt.”

Rey didn’t know what to say to that, so she just let him hold her for a moment because it was both what he seemed to need and what she secretly wanted. Eventually, they calmed down enough to assess her injury.

“Just a flesh wound,” Rey quipped, though it did fucking hurt. She’d deal with it once she got back to Ben’s—she’d definitely packed a first aid kit with some bacta.

“That you got protecting me,” Ben replied, more somber than she’d ever heard him sound. His arms tightened around her middle again. He held her like he was afraid she’d slip out of his arms and out of his life.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Ben blinked. “Am I okay? I’m fine. You got shot!”

“A scrape, really. It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”

Ben shook his head. “This is my fault. I should have insisted that Armitage call in more security after that woman jumped on the stage.”

Rey frowned. “This isn’t your fault. We don’t even know that they were shooting for you!”

“Who else would they be aiming for?”

Rey pointed at her chest. “Me? I am a notorious smuggler with warrants out on _several _planets.”

Ben didn’t look amused. “And I’m the son of an infamous senator and… Look. There’re more reasons that someone would want to shoot me than you.”

“Are we arguing about this?”

“No, but stop trying to minimalize your injury. I was… For a moment…,” Ben stalled and Rey realized that he wasn’t angry, he was scared—for _her._

She didn’t think that anyone had been quite so concerned for her wellbeing before. Maybe Finn and Rose, but they knew what she could handle. Ben… he didn’t know what her life was like or what she’d been through, not entirely. And he was worried for her and upset that she’d been hurt trying to save him.

“It’s my job,” she reminded him quietly. “I am your bodyguard.”

“True, but next time avoid using your literal body to guard me, okay?”

Rey sighed, but snuggled in closer. “I had an umbrella,” she insisted, but at his crestfallen expression, she uttered a soft, “I’ll see what I can do.”

Evidently, he had no intention of letting her go, so Rey let her head fall against his shoulder as Ben’s fingers trailed along the strip of skin revealed low on her back. His comforting scent and warmth enveloped her as she tried to calm her frantic heartbeat. As worried as Ben had been about her, she’d felt the same for him.

They didn’t say much on as the shuttle skimmed through the Arkanis skyline back to Ben’s place. He seemed upset about it all, even though she’d been hired specifically to do what she’d just done _because _there was legitimate cause for concern about Ben’s safety.

Rey decided she’d try to get more out of the notoriously tight-lipped Maz when she got back to Takodana, but she realized she might have to settle for what Finn and Rose already knew, which probably wasn’t more than she did. There was something more going on between Maz and Leia, and Rey needed to know what.

Before long, they were back at Ben’s and inside his massive apartment. Ben tried to insist on helping Rey with her wound, but she waved him off.

“I smell like tabac, perfume, sweat, and blood. I need a shower—alone!” she clarified as a devious look crossed his face.

“Sure about that?”

“Yes, for now. Yes,” Rey added. It wasn’t that she was averse to the idea of showering with Ben, but after a long day and getting shot, it wasn’t exactly the best time for a first-time shower together.

“I’ll have 3PO prepare some food for us,” Ben offered and Rey gratefully accepted before trying to find her way to wherever the droid had put her stuff.

“Third door on the left,” Ben called as if reading her harried thoughts.

_Right… _she thought as the door slipped open as she approached.

Inside, like everything else in Ben’s place, the room was massive. Large windows let in the dim light from the dreary planet, while a giant bed with sky blue coverings dominated the view. Her bags were waiting for her at the end of the bed.

Attached to the main room was a private bathroom, so Rey gingerly walked over to the bed, rustled through her bags, and grabbed her toiletries. The blaster burn was starting to hurt something fierce, so getting it cleaned and covered was top of her list of priorities. Still, her bacta spray was going to take hours to heal the wound, so she’d have to sit and suffer a little until then.

Rey stepped into the cavernous bathroom, and noticed the multi-spout shower—an actual shower with _water, _and not a sonic—as well as a sunken bathtub, all set against a peach marble backdrop. As much as she wanted to experience a real bath, Rey opted for the shower instead. She didn’t want to get used to such luxuries and having a shower with running water was going to be a treat enough.

Rey peeled away the layers of her dark clothes before catching her reflection in a mirror. She was svelte, but her time with Maz had been good for her. She’d spent so much of her life scrounging for food that her reflection always seemed to show the haunting vision of a Jakku scavenger who’d gotten used to not having enough.

Her strength showed in the muscles of her back and arms, the curve of her ass, and the line of her long legs. Even her face looked less gaunt than she was used to. She looked like a warrior and, what was more, she was starting to feel like one. And with the day’s antics, she needed her strength to keep herself and Ben safe.

Rey stepped into the shower which had at least a dozen spouts and seemed to be large enough for a group of sentients, and tried to make sense of the digital pad. After messing around with the temperature and water pressure settings, Rey stepped under the ample flow and just about cried for how good the water felf, though her wound stung something fierce.

Sonic showers, though efficient, weren’t anything special. This was _decadence. _Though Arkanis was known for its water, it still felt like an extravagance to use all of this on just Rey. Still, she was going to enjoy it while she could and took her time washing, scrubbing, and standing under the relaxing flow.

Knots she’d not realized she had started to unwind as the water cascaded over her body. At one point, she’d rested up against the shower wall and nearly fallen asleep under the spray. Fortunately, she caught herself as her head bobbed, but she quickly finished up after this to keep herself from falling over in the shower.

Rey didn’t dawdle and quickly dried herself off with what had to be the plushest towel she’d ever seen in her entire life before brushing her hair, teeth, and slipping into her pajamas—which consisted of an oversized shirt and underwear. She was well acquainted with using bacta, and the soft spray was cool against her skin as it worked to pull her back together.

Before long, 3PO was at her door with more food than she could reasonably eat in one sitting, and she had to fight herself from being disappointed that she wouldn’t be sharing it with Ben.

“Master Ben sends his regrets that he can’t join you in person,” the glittering golden droid explained as he laid the food out on a hover-table.

“Is he avoiding me?” Rey joked, which was lost on the serious droid.

“Goodness, no. He’s needed to attend to some business matters. He wasn’t sure how long the holo-call would take, so he sent me to tend to you.”

_Oh, a call. And here I thought he’d ducked out, _Rey thought before looking at the spread of food. She didn’t even have names for everything that appeared before her.

“What’s good, 3PO?” she asked, pointing to the food.

“Well, I’m sure I wouldn’t know. But these are some of Master Ben’s personal favorites. Recipes from Chandrila, mostly. A few from his mother’s home planet of Alderaan. Hopefully, you will find them agreeable.”

Rey leaned in and took a deep breath. The warmth and aromas of the foods overwhelmed her senses. Even after all the time she’d spent catering to Aristo whims at their massive parties, she was still amazed at all they had at their fingertips. She’d have killed for this kind of meal on Jakku and had killed for less to keep herself safe and fed.

“Is there anything else you will be needing?” 3PO asked. Though his humanoid faceplate was frozen in one expression, he had a nervous sort of energy about him. The droid reminded her of a small animal that had spent its life trying to avoid being stepped on. Rey resolved to be as kind as possible to the droid because he seemed to need it.

“No, thank you, 3PO. This is lovely. I appreciate it all.”

The droid’s arms fluttered. “Oh, think nothing of it, Miss Rey,” he replied. It still sounded weird to have the droid call her “Miss Rey,” but at least it was better than “Mistress.”

Rey carefully settled into a hover-chair and slowly dipped her fork into one dish after another. All kinds of tastes, from sweet to salty, to savory and spicy, slipped over her tongue. It was almost as if Ben hadn’t been sure what she’d want to eat, so he’d had something of _everything _prepared. Rey picked out her favorites and felt no small amount of dismay that there was no way she’d be able to eat it all.

The thought of wasting food was repugnant to her, so after she’d finished, she stuck her head out of her room and called for 3PO, who was remarkably obliging when she asked if it’d be okay to wrap her leftovers up so she could enjoy it later. He’d carted the extra food out of her room and made one final offer to grab her anything she needed, but Rey’d declined.

Tummy full, and pleasantly sleepy, the only thing she wanted was to climb into bed and sleep forever. At first, it seemed like she’d be out as soon as her head hit the pillow, but sleep didn’t come easy for Rey. She turned onto her side, hoping that a new position would help her sleep, but nothing seemed to work, and her leg throbbed. The minutes turned to hours, and soon it was late, and though she was very tired, she could not fall asleep.

The big bed was too soft, too big, and too much in a day that had been very stressful. Rey wasn’t used to having this much space to work with, and instead of feeling freeing, it felt frightening and lonely. Grabbing a blanket from her bed, she dragged it down the long hallway in hope of… who knew what. Finding 3PO and having a chat with the droid?

By the time she entered the sunken living room, she realized she was alone. Rey wondered whether she should go and wake Ben up, but she didn’t want to bother him. He’d seemed exhausted and, well, she was being a little silly and childish. Rey settled on curling up on his plush couch, wrapping herself in the blanket in a poor facsimile of a hug as she listened to the endless rain of Arkanis beat against the wide window while trying to ignore the pain from her wound.

She was almost asleep when the soft release of hydraulics caught her attention. Ben slowly padded out of his room, barely dressed in a robe and not much else. Slung low on his hips were similar shorts to the ones he’d worn beneath his gown, and they peeked out from behind the loose tie of his robe as he slowly strode towards her.

“I thought I felt you out here,” Ben said softly, stopping just in front of where she lay.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” she asked, assuming she’d made too much noise. Her brain was too tired to fixate on what he meant by “felt.”

Ben shook his head and his long, dark locks softly brushed into his eyes. “I only slept for a little while. My dreams were too restless.”

She was just about to make a dark joke about how the only dreams she ever seemed to have were nightmares, but Rey hissed in pain and reached down to press her hand against the inside of her leg. For all of her insistence that it was fine, it still burned like a bitch.

“Would you like me to heal that?” Ben offered.

Rey scrunched her face up with confusion. “I’m not sure I follow.”

Ben pointed to her leg. “It hurts, I’m sure. I can heal it.”

“How?”

Ben smiled. “Magic.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Magic, really?”

“No, not really. But something like it.”

“You mean the Force, or whatever?”

“Or whatever,” he teased as Rey huffed.

“Don’t you have a medical droid that could help?”

Ben shook his head. “It’d take too long—unless you want me to ask 3PO to do this?”

The thought of the anxious droid staring between her legs, fretting over what to do next, almost made her laugh—almost.

“I think you’re just using this an excuse to get close to me,” she countered.

“Do I need an excuse? I always want to be close to you, Rey.”

Rey’s breath caught and she couldn’t manage a comeback to the raw honesty in his voice. He wasn’t like every other Aristo she’d met. In a life where she’d learned the hard way not to trust anyone, Ben was slowly and methodically picking at the walls around her heart. And, worst of all, it didn’t even feel bad. She actually kind of liked it.

And it wasn’t as if he had an easy time trusting people either. Aristos didn’t have friends. At best, they had frenemies, so at least they were similarly fucked up in that regard. But here he was, all sweetness wrapped up in a dangerously sensual package. And, truthfully, her leg did hurt a lot. What harm could there be in letting him help her?

“Okay... Heal it, if you can,” Rey finally gave her permission.

“This might feel strange, but I don’t think it should hurt,” he warned.

Rey jumped a little as his hand reached out to skim over her thigh and he mumbled a soft apology.

“Sorry, it’s really sensitive there… apparently,” she replied, embarrassed that she’d reacted so much to his touch.

An amused look crossed his face, but he only gave a slight nod before resting his hand high on the inside of her thigh. His long fingers and big palm covered most of her wound as he touched her. At first, nothing seemed to happen. Ben was crouched before her, eyes closed, brow slightly furrowed, but the pain remained. Even if he wasn’t able to use his strange powers to heal her, she had to admit it did feel nice to have someone fussing over her.

“I’m not sure it’s working,” Rey whispered as a small smile worked its way onto Ben’s face, though his eyes stayed closed.

“Patience,” he assured her. “It’s not an ability that’s easy to manifest.”

Rey scrunched her nose a little and closed her eyes, too. Maybe it’d help if she focused as well? His touch was warm and sure on her thigh, which still radiated with heat and pain from her wound. She’d been so focused on the pain that, until she’d closed her eyes, she’d not been able to sense the other feelings that seemed to flow from Ben—comfort, desire, _wholeness_.

The connection between them was so subtle that she’d have shrugged it off as overthinking on any other occasion, but with his hand on her leg and him crouched before her, it was hard to deny how much feeling ran between them.

Once she focused on that blooming bond, her body seemed to respond in kind. A prickly sort of feeling trailed along the blaster wound, tickling and pulling at her skin. It reminded Rey of when a scratch was _just _about done healing, with the wound flaking away to reveal new, healed skin beneath.

Eventually, Ben took a deep, shuddering breath, prompting Rey to open her eyes. He was looking at her, hand still high on her thigh. He winked. “How’d I do?”

His hand trailed across her skin, sensation shimmering in its wake as he pulled away to reveal her perfectly healed skin.

“Damn!” Rey exclaimed. Words mostly escaped her, but what a skill that was! “You really did use magic.”

“Told you,” Ben grinned smugly.

_But if he can do all that… Why is he…?_

“I don’t get it,” she murmured.

“Get what, exactly?”

“Why am I hearing about Ben Solo the _playboy_ and not Ben Solo the…. Uh, famous Jedi?”

It wasn’t often that Ben looked uncomfortable. Given his status in society, Rey assumed that he’d been asked all sorts of completely inappropriate things, but she’d not realized that he’d be taken aback by this kind of question.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be nosey,” she started, but Ben waved her off.

“No, it’s fine. I’ve just spent a lot of my life avoiding thinking about what might have been. You know things didn’t go too well with my uncle?” Rey nodded. She remembered him talking about his summers with his uncle and how it hadn’t been a great experience for him. “Well, when I was young, my powers started to manifest, and my parents thought that it might be a good idea to get training with my uncle.”

“Except that you didn’t want to be a Jedi?” Rey guessed.

Ben chuckled dryly. “Not even by half.”

“How’d it go?”

Ben sighed and shifted into a kneeling position before he snuggled his head into her leg. Rey supposed it was weird that he was still on the floor, but she could easily play with his long hair this way, which was exactly what she did.

Ben pressed into her gentle touch as he explained, “Not well. I’ve always been pretty strong-minded and the Jedi… There are so many rules, and things that are done just because that’s the way they’ve always been done. Right away, I asked too many questions and didn’t want to listen.”

Rey hummed thoughtfully. “I’ve always been like that too. If I can’t see a value to something, I’m not doing it. Never questioning why something’s done a certain way is a good way to get taken advantage, at least in my experience.”

Ben nodded, and his cheek rubbed softly against her thigh with the movement. “That, and I’m not really up for celibacy.”

“Excuse me, what now?” Rey balked.

Ben snorted. “Yeah, Jedi aren’t allowed to get married or form any strong romantic attachments. My uncle was somewhat flexible, but the Jedi life is one of sacrifice and I’m not entirely certain it’s a selfless kind of sacrifice. At any rate, it wasn’t for me, especially considering…,” Ben trailed off.

“Especially, what?” Rey prompted.

“I fell in love—puppy love. But I realized soon that the Jedi life wasn’t for me.”

Rey curled a lock of Ben’s hair around her finger. “You’re a romantic with your reputation?”

“Not everything you see in the gossip holos is true, _Rey_,” he chided as she gave him a disbelieving look.

“You are _literally_ known for being the galaxy’s most eligible playboy, and you want to tell me there’s no truth to the rumors? I’ve _seen_ how you play, _Ben_.”

A satisfied smile spread across his face. “I _have_ had a lot of fun, but not as much as people think. Most of my relationships have been long term.”

“And the Jedi life wouldn’t allow for that?” Rey asked.

“No, not at all.”

“Sounds kind of shitty,” she mused. Special powers were one thing, but having to live your life according to a strict set of rules didn’t sit well with her, but rules never did sit well, in general, with Rey.

“So, you went to Bespin?”

“So, I went to Bespin,” Ben chuckled softly. “And here I am.”

“Had a lot of fun, I guess?” Her fingertips traced along the curve of his cheek before Ben turned his head and pressed a quick kiss into her palm. “Too much. All thanks to my Uncle Lando—you’ll love him. Everyone does.”

Rey quirked her head to the side. “And when am I going to meet him?”

For a moment, Ben’s calm expression faltered, as if realizing something. “Well, now that I think about it, I didn’t ask if you’d be willing to come with me to Bespin for the event…”

Rey’s hand stopped as she processed what he was saying. “You want me to be a bodyguard for you and Cirraen.”

“Yeah, I’m realizing how that sounds, but no. I just want you to come to Bespin with me. The rest, I can handle on my own.”

“Until someone’s trying to shoot you at the opera.”

Ben huffed out a laugh. “Weren’t you trying to convince me earlier that you were the target?”

Rey glared. “_Might be_, but what if I’m wrong? Cirraen isn’t going to do shit to protect you.”

Ben nuzzled his long nose against the inside of her thigh. “And you would.”

“Obviously. Talk to Maz and see what she can arrange,” she started, but the smile on his face made her realize that he’d probably already done just that. “You really are the worst, Solo."

His lips lingered against her skin and she felt him smile against the inside of her thigh as he purred, “I love it when you say that.”

“What, that you’re the worst?”

Ben chuckled as his molten gaze locking with hers. “Yeah, because you really don’t know the half of it, but I’m open to providing you some much-needed clarity on just how bad I can be.”

Rey nibbled her lip and turned away from the heat in his eyes, but she didn’t take her hand back. Almost against her will, Rey’s fingers clenched in his hair, pulling just a little as if she was imaging just exactly how he’d show her every wicked bit of him.

“Interested?”

“Of course not.”

Ben’s hand lingered on the inside of her thigh, just below where the blaster mark would have been. “Want me to kiss it better?” he teased.

Rey huffed a little. “No one’s ever kissed any of my wounds better before, why start now?”

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Ben asked as his head popped up from between her legs.

“No one’s ever kissed anything better on me before,” she admitted quietly as she realized the gravity of what she’d just admitted.

Growing up alone on Jakku, there wasn’t anyone else to make her feel better when she got hurt. The things she’d read about, the comfort others got from a loved one, had been absent from her life. Rey sometimes forgot that how she grew up wasn’t how most people lived. Most kids had parents, but some, like her, weren’t that lucky.

It was almost casual, the way her past sometimes rolled off of her tongue. Almost like, if she were just flippant enough about it, it couldn’t hurt her anymore. Sometimes, the truth came out before she realized it, and it wasn’t until the shocked expressions appeared that she would realize that she said something strange.

Generally, Rey’d pretend she was kidding or laugh it off, but she couldn’t do that with Ben because he’d know she was lying—he always knew. Which meant she was caught, admitting the truth of her past, to a person she was trying _and failing _to remain emotionally distant with.

His eyes were wide with shock before his face softened into something like understanding. But not pity, thank Gods. She couldn’t stand his pity. She was already pitiful enough, near-destitute smuggler that she was, and Rey didn’t need her past to add another layer to that sadness.

“May I be the first?” he softly asked her permission.

For some strange reason, tears pricked the corners of Rey’s eyes. She didn’t trust her voice enough to reply, so she managed a quick little bob of her head as Ben slowly dipped back between her legs. His hands reached out, warm and solid on her thighs as he held her wide. His lips were whisper-soft against her skin as he slowly pressed kisses along where the blaster mark would have been.

And it felt… it felt too nice. Like the kind of lovely that would have her dreaming about this moment for many nights to come. His hand caressed along her thigh soothing as his lips trailed higher. His mouth pressed into the soft part of her thigh, holding tight for a moment as if he wanted to keep going, to do much more than press chaste kisses along her healed wound.

“I don’t have to stop there, if you want,” he said casually, as if he were talking about the weather.

“Nowhere else hurts,” she feigned ignorance.

Ben captured his full lower lip between his teeth before asking thoughtfully, “But are there any other places that could feel _better_?”

Rey stared down at him and realized what a precarious position he was, slotted there between her legs. She’d had to stretch wide to let him settle between her, and now, the broad width of him was warm and intimately pressed against the skin of her thighs.

“I’m a very good kisser,” he assured her, and Rey believed him. She’d been on the receiving end of enough of his kisses to know he didn’t brag without reason, but he wasn’t talking about kissing her mouth.

Lovemaking had always been a harried, mostly disappointing affair, but Ben seemed content to slowly, patiently open her up to a world she’d never experienced. She was quite certain that he meant that he wanted to kiss between her legs, among other things.

She wasn’t innocent, but somewhat inexperienced, and that… well, it wasn’t yet one of the things she’d experienced. But maybe she was mistaken?

“I’m not sure if… What do you mean?” Rey asked. She needed to make sure that he was saying what she thought he was saying. Because as much as she’d learned from her romance holos, the last thing she wanted was to make assumptions and make an ass out of herself.

Ben blinked up at her as a smile bloomed on his handsome face. “I was hoping you’d let me kiss you _here,_” he replied as he pressed the tip of his nose against her core.

Rey gasped a little at the contact, swallowing thickly he confirmed exactly what he wanted to do to her. Nibbling her lip, Rey stared into Ben’s eyes. A wicked smile worked its way onto his face as he kneeled before her, like some sort of dark prince waiting to do her bidding. She liked that, probably a little more than she should have.

His expression was calm, but his tension belied how much he wanted her to say yes to his proposition. _He _wanted this too. Rey reached out again to thread her fingers through his thick, dark hair, idly stroking as she considered what she wanted.

Breathless moments stretched between them as the rain continued to pelt soothingly against the windows of Ben’s apartment. Finally, Rey skimmed her fingers along the curve of Ben’s jaw as she softly admitted, “I think I’d like that. Will you show me?”

Ben released a slow, shuddery breath as he promised, “Anything you want, sweetness.”

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I’m SORRY (honestly). It got to like over 11 k and I just don’t have the energy to edit that all in one go (and honestly, it’s a pain to read that all in one sitting), but I’ll get the next bit up asap 😊 I just have to break up the amount of time I spend writing/using my mouse because my wrists and arms hurt really fucking bad if I do any of that for too long in one sitting. I AM SORRY. BUT more’s coming. It’s smutty, so if you’re into that, the next bit’s for you. If not, that’s fine too, but I’d probably read this on FFnet, where I’ve got an edited version going 😊 And if you’re reading this on FFnet and would enjoy smut, head over to Ao3 where this is also posted and enjoy there because the next bit will be heavily edited.

Anyway, hope you’re all staying safe and healthy. Thanks so much for all of your comments/reviews. And thanks so much for reading and for all of your lovely comments (which I will try to answer soon!). Appreciate your support and kindness in what’s been a pretty ass year (for so many of us). Big hugs! Any mistakes are my own and keep me humble.

* * *

**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend, hit me up on [Twitter,](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading!**

**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom [@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media for 2020 :)**


	16. Sticky Situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey get *very* cozy on the couch. :D A non-smutty version of this will be up on ffnet (tomorrow, probably), just in case it's not your thing :)

_Ben blinked up at her as a smile bloomed on his handsome face. “I was hoping you’d let me kiss you here,” he replied as he pressed the tip of his nose against her core._

_Rey gasped a little at the contact, swallowing thickly he confirmed exactly what he wanted to do to her. Nibbling her lip, Rey stared into Ben’s eyes. A wicked smile worked its way onto his face as he kneeled before her, like some sort of dark prince waiting to do her bidding. She liked that, probably a little more than she should have._

_His expression was calm, but his tension belied how much he wanted her to say yes to his proposition. He wanted this too. Rey reached out again to thread her fingers through his thick, dark hair, idly stroking as she considered what she wanted._

_Breathless moments stretched between them as the rain continued to pelt soothingly against the windows of Ben’s apartment. Finally, Rey skimmed her fingers along the curve of Ben’s jaw as she softly admitted, “I think I’d like that. Will you show me?”_

_Ben released a slow, shuddery breath as he promised, “Anything you want, sweetness.”_

* * *

Rey knew that Ben didn’t like to rush. Still, now that she’d agreed, it meant she’d have to take off her underthings and… his head was _right _there. What if it all went wrong, or he found her repulsive? She had scars, inside and out, though one less, thanks to Ben. And why would anyone want to deal with such damaged goods?

Rey reached up to pull at the remains of her damp braid, anxiously worrying the intricate design from her hair as Ben looked on. Thoughts spiraled in her head, and Ben must have either realized or felt this because his hands came up to skim along the band of her underwear. It was enough to distract her.

For a moment, his form caught the light from outside, casting him in a wicked glow as his brows drew together. “I love everything about you, Rey. Your scent, the feel of your skin against mine—every perfect imperfection. You are more than I deserve,” he assured her, voice low and full of promise.

“I don’t know about that,” she managed as he hooked his fingers into the top of her underwear.

“I do,” he said while urging her to lift her hips. In one slow, sensual sweep, her underwear was gone, and she was utterly exposed.

To his credit, Ben didn’t immediately lower his gaze, just stared into her eyes, and waited for Rey to give him permission. Another nod, and still his eyes remained locked with hers. Instead, his hand came up and ran over the tight muscles of her stomach before descending low to trail over the trim, dark curls between her thighs.

Maybe he wouldn’t like that? Some sentients took hair growth suppressants, but Rey’d never really seen a need for it. She was sure that he found it disgusting. Maybe she should just call this whole thing off…?

“Rey,” he said, voice deep and sure. It was an anchor in the storm of her mind. “You are beautiful, here and everywhere.”

“But I’m not….” Her voice got lost in a soft moan as his fingers delved, evidently content to _show _Rey how much he wanted her.

Ben’s fingers slipped low and spread her open. It almost tickled, the featherlight way he touched her while seeking out that tangle of hidden nerves. And it felt _so good. _Almost too good, the way he knew exactly how to touch her. Insecurities and worries drifted away in the wake of his gentle touch.

But Ben was just getting started. His head dipped as he finally broke her gaze, and Rey held her breath as she waited for what came next. At the first soft swipe of his tongue, Rey’s hips jolted forward and Ben stilled. Slowly his tongue slipped out again and lapped at her clit, as if he was giving her a chance to get used to the sensation.

As Rey settled into his touch, she found she liked the way it felt to have Ben between her legs. _Really _liked it. She’d have never thought something like this could feel so good, especially given how vulnerable it made her. But she trusted Ben. And there he was, the galaxy’s favorite playboy, kneeling before her with his hands splayed across her spread thighs, head dipping, and his tongue licking.

And he looked almost rapturous as she watched him—eyes closed, tongue savoring the very taste and feel of her. He could probably sense her thoughts, maybe her feelings. So perhaps he _was _getting almost as much out of this as she.

Every tremble from her body was followed up by his soothing touch. Every soft whine and moan, more careful lapping that pushed her higher and higher. Every twist of her hip was met with a soft clench from his hands, holding her _exactly _where he wanted. It was an addictive pleasure, and maybe that had been his plan all along. Break down her defenses with his undeniable prowess, leaving her hopeless with her desire for him.

And she was hopeless for him now, though it wasn’t just the pleasure he gave her. It was _everything. _The way he seemed to understand her better than anyone else. He helped open up her heart without pushing her further than she wanted to go.

“Ben, please,” she murmured breathlessly. She wasn’t even sure what she was asking for, but she trusted him to give it to her.

Ben’s thumb replaced his tongue as he watched her, and she knew he wouldn’t let her get off that easy. An easy smile spread across his face as he urged, “Tell me what you want.”

How could she tell him that the sweet, lush feel of him between her legs turned her on more than anything she’d ever experienced? That she’d be dreaming about this moment for the rest of her natural life? That _Ben Solo _was on his knees, between her legs, hands and tongue working to get her off was possibly the headiest and erotic thing she could have conceived of?

“I don’t know….” _I don’t know how to tell you how you make me feel. _“Just _more_,” was all she could manage. How to put it all into words? Fortunately for Rey, Ben seemed to feel the overwhelming nature of her thoughts.

Ben lapped along the seam of her thigh as his hand deftly petted between her legs. “Alright,” he murmured as his neck curved and his fingers gave way to his very talented tongue.

He lapped at her with a precision that bordered on perfection. It felt like he could read every single one of her tells, and then could feel her thoughts on top of it. Every increase in pressure was in response to her desires. The way his tongue rolled against her sensitive skin, as he pushed her close but not quite close enough. All of it, exactly as she wanted.

Her body no longer felt like her own. Ben’s touch was her beginning, her end. She existed to experience his pleasure, and she had just enough presence of mind to wonder if _this _felt as good as it did, what would he feel like when he was inside her?

He was most _definitely _reading her thoughts, as one of his long fingers slipped into her slick entrance, pumping in time with the slow, purposeful swipes of his tongue. When she shifted her hips, a soft whine escaping her lips as she sought… What, exactly?

Ben knew what she needed—_always _seemed to know exactly what she needed. He added another finger, curling within her as her core clenched tight. He pressed on. It bordered on criminal, how he made her feel. He haunted her dreams and always found ways to haunt her waking hours.

He ate her with ravenous abandon as if he was just as lost to the act as she was to receive it. No one had ever been so devoted to her pleasure before him. And with Ben’s preternatural powers, it felt like he was lifting exactly what she wanted straight from her mind, only to pull back _just _when she was just about to come.

He gave her what she wanted without giving her what she _thought _she wanted. Because as much as Rey needed to experience that rush of pleasure as she came, she also never wanted him to stop. Lucky for her, Ben was ready to oblige.

A slow swipe with the flat of his tongue spread her open, only to follow with a soft, suckling kiss that worried her clit _right _between his lips. To urge him on, Rey wiggled her hips and gently rolled into his mouth, only to have him reach out with his powers and clasp tight down on her, holding her body exactly where he wanted.

At first, she was surprised, and something in either her body language or feeling must have changed because he lifted his head, licking his lips languidly as he asked, “Are you okay?”

Rey took a breath and settled in a little better to the strange feeling of his power running over her body. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just unexpected. “I’m fine, yeah,” she managed.

“And you’ll tell me if you need me to stop?”

She nodded.

“I need you to say it, Rey.” This time, he insisted.

Another breath and then, “I will tell you if I need you to stop.”

“That’s my girl,” he praised, and it needled her to realize that she wanted his praise _and _that it turned her on. “Discovering so much tonight,” he teased before pressing a soft kiss into her inner thigh.

She’d have teased him right back about how he always seemed to read her thoughts when she didn’t mean for him to hear her, but he’d turned his attention back to between her legs and had dipped his tongue so far inside of her that the tip of his nose was gently rubbing into her clit. The slick sensation of his tongue eating at her, combined with the soft nudge of his nose was robbing her of coherent thought.

Just as had happened in his dressing room, a strange connection bloomed between them and Rey found herself wrapped up in a deluge of feeling that seemed to blend her thoughts, desires, and pleasure with Ben’s.

She could feel his emotions as clear as they were her own—how he wanted her, how beautiful she was, how he loved the way she responded to his touch. For someone known for being hedonistic, Ben was a remarkably indulgent lover. What he wanted most, what he _needed, _seemed to begin and end with her.

For a moment, Rey gave in to the fantasy of what it would be like to have him inside of her. She imagined how it would feel to have the long, muscular length of his body pressing her into the couch as his ample cock filled her. Or would he take her from behind? Slipping inside of her while holding her hips tight, the sounds of their bodies sliding together, blended with panting breaths and soft moans.

Rey heard as Ben took a shuddering breath. He could see it too, what she wanted. And he wanted her too, mercilessly bad, but it wasn’t the right time. She sensed that he wanted… wanted to make it special. Wanted her to know how much she meant to him. Wanted… more than a quick fuck on his couch.

“I’m too…,” Ben trailed off before his hand disappeared over the edge of the cushion. He was just as worked up as she was, and just as ready to come.

Rey nibbled her lip as she considered what to do next. Gods, if she fucked him, she wouldn’t be able to let him go. It was going to be bad enough to have to live with the memory of Ben between her legs. Still, they could compromise, couldn’t they? Both of them getting off together—surely that wouldn’t push her beyond the limits of what she could endure?

Rey reached down and took Ben’s hand, urging him to stand. Just as she’d suspected, he was tenting his boxers. A damp spot marred the silky material, and she _just _stopped herself from reaching forward to taste. Instead, she reached out and carefully peeled the small piece of clothing from his hips, dragging the fabric downward until his cock bobbed before her eyes, thick and leaking.

Rey’s breath caught in her throat. Gods, she wanted to swallow him whole, but she was too keyed up to devote herself to that task right now. _Later, _she promised herself as his robe followed his shorts and dropped to the ground.

A small hitch in Ben’s abdomen caught her attention, and she looked up to find him smiling at her. He’d heard her, loud and clear. Rey smiled back at him before tugging on his hand, this time urging him to settle in beside her on the long, wide couch.

_This will work_, she decided, and as soon as Ben settled, Rey hitched her leg over his lap before settling astride him. Ben quickly reached out to grab her hips, steadying her as she hovered.

“Lean back,” she urged.

“What are you…?”

“Shh, trust me.”

He let out a soft huff. “Are you going to deflower me?” he joked.

“I think I’m a little late for that, but I was thinking,” she said while pushing him back, “that maybe we could both have a little fun?”

As Ben slipped into the plush cushions, Rey watched, lip caught between her teeth as she took in the sight of his body. Free of makeup or the shimmer he favored, his pale skin was flushed red. Decadent and ravished looking, he was all hers. And tonight, she’d give him something to remember _her _by.

Rey waited until Ben was watching her before she shifted her hips and slowly settled her soaked core against the long, hard length of him.

“_ Oh _…”

“_ Fuck, _” he finished for her. If she wasn’t so amped up, she might have been proud of herself for getting that particular curse from him.

And then she moved, and the rumble of pleasure that ran through them both had her reeling. How the hell was she going to manage this with him so completely and decadently inside her head and against her sex?

Hand planted firmly on his chest, Rey shifted her hips, gliding atop his body with her legs stretched wide, trying to find that precious rhythm that would send them both over the edge. Rey got the impression that Ben wasn’t too used to being on the bottom, but that he most _definitely _was enjoying himself.

Rey stared down at him. His dark hair was damp against his brow, and his mouth was still slick from _her. _With his full lip caught between his teeth, he stared right back at her, as if challenging her to be the first one to look away. There was no way she’d miss a second of watching his face as she slowly ground herself into his body.

Not about to be outdone, Ben reached up and latched his warm hands onto her hips, pulling tight as he pressed _up _into her. Rey leaned forward with a gasp, hands splayed across his wide chest as she fought her desire and sought to heighten his.

She was _not _doing this alone. He might like to play his games, get into her head and drive her mad, but this time, he was coming with her. Rey’s hand slipped low and gripped the head of his cock, softly stroking over the silky skin in time with the movement of her hips. Ben let out a low groan, his hands on her hips twitching against her.

She smiled wickedly. _Now _she had him, but he also had her. The languid press of his slick length against her stimulated clit was exactly what she wanted. Rey fought the desire to close her eyes and give herself over to her pleasure. Instead, her eyes again locked with Ben’s, each daring the other to be the first to fall over that peak.

It wouldn’t take much. Ben had almost gotten her off with his tongue, and as swollen as his cock was, she knew he’d be close behind. As she stared into his dark eyes, their minds seemed to blend, blurring the line between where her body ended and his began. His skin was her skin, his desire, hers. Breath and bodies in synch, they surrendered to each other.

Rey slipped a hand up to pluck at her nipple through the thin fabric of her shirt, rolling and pulling along with her insistent grinding. Ben took the hint, and soon his big hand was spanning her chest, fingers teasing and tripping against her as she worked her body along his cock. For a moment, Ben pulled back before dipping his fingers into his mouth for one long suck.

Properly slick, his hand slipped under her clothing as he purposefully rolled her nipple, pulling _just _so. Not quite pain, but something beyond pleasure, too. She liked it, liked everything about what he did to her. Rey knew she’d never be able to get the feel of him out of her head and, what was more, she found that she wouldn’t want to. Despite her reservations, despite her fears, this moment was hers and, in her bliss, she’d keep him.

She gave herself entirely over to his divine body. She’d never felt so free, so luscious, so beyond her own experience than she did with Ben between her legs and nearly inside her. It was decadent, tempting, a promise whispered against her skin, and an assurance that more was to come. _Soon. _

Rey crashed, voice catching on a low moan as she finally let herself go. But she wasn’t alone. The slick feel of her against his length, combined with the gentle pull of her hand, had him following her, but it was more than that. It wasn’t just that he came _too, _it was that they came _together. _Through Ben’s strange magic or that irrepressible bond that seemed to thread their lives together, Rey felt his body tense, as if the experience was her own.

The slow pucker of his sac as it pulled tight, the heat from her sopping sex, spread over him as she twisted and panted. The way he _loved _how she massaged the tip of his cock, fingers slicking over the sensitive skin until finally, irrepressibly, his pleasure pooled as his need to come got the better of him.

Somehow, she knew he could feel her too. The way her body felt tight, anticipatory, needy, until he pushed her over. His breath caught as her pleasure peaked, as sensation radiated from her core outward, pearling her nipples, robbing her of breath, making her _clench. _

Ben’s soft moan combined with hers, echoing in the space of his living room. His back arched as her hips canted, rubbing out every last shiver of pleasure for them both. Breaths in synch, it almost felt like they were sharing the same frantic heartbeat as Ben’s rapid pulse resonated through his chest and into her free hand. Eventually, the slick sensation of his cum on her hands brought her back to the moment.

Rey spoke first. “That was really…”

“Far too tempting,” Ben rasped.

And he was right. The only thing Rey could think of was how badly she’d wished he’d been inside her when she came. Gods, the way her body would squeeze around the thick length of him, tightening hard as he fucked up into her. Would he let her be on top?

A soft chuckle rumbled up from Ben. “It’s precious that you think I’d only have you once.”

Rey swallowed thickly. Ben would be the kind of lover who was insatiable, wouldn’t he? All the decadence and hedonism in his life, how could he not be? Except that wasn’t only it. Ben was a giver, but Rey had the feeling that he was the one who was used to coming out on top. Yet, here she was, splayed across his hips, his softening cock between her legs, and she felt like the one who’d been given a gift.

“No wonder you have such a huge fan club,” Rey huffed softly before looking down.

His cum was all over her fingers and spread across much of his chest. He looked like a freshly fucked mess, and she found she _loved _the look of it. His broad body was tinged red, dark hair stuck against his brow. With no makeup, his mouth was still luscious and red and looking ever so much like a man who’d been worrying her clit between his lips.

“Ah, but you’re the only fan I’m after these days,” he purred.

Rey gave him a soft nudge, rolling her hips to emphasize her point. “I’m not your fan, I’m your bodyguard.”

Ben hummed thoughtfully. “Oh? But you _are _a fan of what I do to you, aren’t you? Or was it someone else moaning, ' _Ben, Please!’ _a little while ago?” he teased.

Rey’s already red cheeks heated. “Okay, so maybe I’m a bit of a fan,” she conceded. Hard to deny that considering she’d just ground herself into a wicked orgasm on his cock. His heat and scent seeped up into her and Rey caught herself hoping that she’d still be able to smell him on her skin when he was gone.

“That’s my girl,” he cooed, and this time Rey reached over to his side to give him a quick tickle before realizing that was a dangerous idea, given what a mess he was.

Rey nibbled her lip as she looked down at his sticky stomach. “Going to have to get… _all _of this cleaned up.”

“You could use your tongue,” he helpfully suggested.

Rey’s breath caught in her throat. _Arrogant ass, _she thought. So, maybe she did want to know what he felt and tasted like on her tongue, but she wasn’t about to be outdone by him. He was still between _her _legs, and he deserved a bit of a tease for that comment.

Licking her lips, Rey leaned forward a little and reached out to gently drag a finger through his cum. Her eyes slipped closed as she sucked the salty taste of him off of her finger. This time, she felt as _his _breathing hitched, the press of his stomach against her legs at that sharp intake of air. Oh, he liked that.

Rey opened her eyes and smiled down at him. Ben looked like he wanted to eat her alive. “Next time,” she teased before pulling off her shirt with one quick motion before using it to wipe away Ben’s mess. “You owe me a new shirt,” she said, seriously.

Ben’s lips quirked before blooming into a delighted smile. “You have free range of my closets. Here, Coruscant, Corellia, Naboo, wherever.”

Rey snorted. “I just need a t-shirt, Ben. You think you can manage that?”

His nose wrinkled with distaste. “I haven’t worn anything like that since staying with Uncle Luke, but I’m sure I have a robe or four you can have. I’ll even wear them first.”

Rey flushed. Apparently, he’d caught her enjoying his scent after all. She straightened her shoulders a little as she stared down at him. _She _was on top of him, and he’d let her be there. Rey wasn’t about to feel embarrassed because she liked… no, _loved _his scent.

“It’s not my fault you have all those fancy colognes,” she pouted.

Ben chuckled. “You sure it’s not just more of my ‘magic’?”

Rey shifted her head to the side as she considered whether the Force _could _give someone a power like that, but eventually decided that he was just teasing her.

“You’re the—”

“Worst, I know. And yet, here I am, right beneath you. Kind of a funny place for someone so terrible, don’t you think?”

Rey frowned. “Well, I didn’t say that it mattered. But it’s important that you know.”

“And I _do _know, and I’ll also remember that my lovely bodyguard likes it when I smell nice.”

Rey wiggled her hips teasingly. “Careful. I’m pretty sure I have the high ground here.”

Ben’s hand on her hip squeezed affectionately. “That you do. I’m at your mercy, it seems. Guess I’ll sleep here with you then, considering you have me prisoner between your captivating thighs.”

Rey swallowed. Was it okay for them to just sleep together? A part of Rey warned her they were getting dangerously close, and another part called her out for being a hypocrite. As if _sleeping _together was more intimate than what Ben had done between her legs.

Instead of answering, she leaned forward and snuggled into his broad chest. Naked together and this close, his scent and warmth were even more enticing. But she wasn’t certain she could sleep right on top of him, so she wiggled to the side and wedged herself in the crook of his arm with her leg slung over his.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Ben said with a chuckle before tickling into her ribs.

“Yes! Yes. It’s a yes!” Rey cried out frantically to get him to stop. She hated being tickled, but he seemed to hate when she refused to give him an answer, so she thought it was probably a fair punishment this time.

Ben lifted his arm and made a curling motion with his fingers, and Rey watched as her blanket floated effortlessly through the air and into his waiting hand. With a shake of his wrist, it was spread across and descending over them both.

“Must be handy in the cold months,” Rey mused, lips brushing against his chest as she spoke.

“Handier to have someone warm to sleep with,” he said before his arm wrapped around her.

And he was right. It _was _nice to have someone to sleep and share warmth with. Not that she had too much experience with cuddling, but it seemed nice enough. And, well, the way Ben skimmed his long fingers across her hip was soothing. It felt like he was tracing patterns or learning the peaks and valleys of her body, and she liked it.

Reaching out, her fingers were wont to do the same, except she explored the expanse of his chest, fingers swirling along the impossibly smooth surface as she traced a path from mole to freckle across the constellations of his body.

“Hair suppressants?” she wondered.

“Wax.”

“Ow!”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

Rey laughed softly before nuzzling her head into him. The heavy sound of his heartbeat and breath was calming, and it lulled her almost to the point of sleep. There, half awake and more pleasant than dreaming, Rey thought she would melt into a puddle of relaxation. But just before she fell asleep, Ben shifted and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

“I think I’ve been waiting all my life to meet you,” he breathed, so softly she almost didn’t hear it.

“That’s impossible.”

His chest pressed against her cheek as he huffed. “Anything’s possible with the Force.”

“You say that, but the galaxy has taught me something different.”

“How about this, then? I’ve always wanted to meet someone like you.”

“Why?”

“Someone to tell me no. Someone who doesn’t lie to my face, telling me only what they think I want to hear. You rarely ever tell me what I want to hear.”

“Yes, I can see how much fun it must be to have someone constantly at odds with you,” she quipped before stifling a yawn.

“It _is, _” he assured her with a tight squeeze. “But enough talking. You need to sleep. It’s been a long, dangerous day.”

“You started it.”

“Shh,” he said as his hand reached out to nudge her chin up.

And when he kissed her, Rey could taste herself on his lips. She basked in the warmth of what he’d done to her, and what they’d done together. Rey snuggled into Ben after they parted and realized that never, in the whole of her depressing life, had she ever felt so cherished.

He gave and gave and gave until it felt unfair. How could she ever compare to someone like Ben, who gave himself so freely to her? It felt undeserved, and yet she greedily held onto the memories as lingering jolts of pleasure reminded her of what they’d just done and all that they had yet to do.

He didn’t rush her, even though she knew he wanted her just as badly as she wanted him. But he knew that this had to be at her pace. Somehow, he realized that she’d spent a lifetime running away, and that getting used to the feeling of staying close, of trusting, it was almost beyond her. But he took his time. The notorious lothario asked for almost nothing in return, and yet he made her feel like she gave him everything.

Were the people in his life so shallow that Ben Solo didn’t even feel like he had a friend he could trust? Here they were, two sides of the same sad little coin. Broken, lonely people looking for belonging in all the wrong places; and now they had each other. Could she have it all? Could she have Ben? With her past, it was hard to believe that anything would ever end up going her way like that.

“Sleep, Rey,” he commanded. His arms wrapped tight and soon enough, the sound of his soft, even breath reached her ears.

She wanted to sleep, but Rey was a watcher. It was part of what drew her to Ben. With the way he dominated a space and absorbed attention, it was natural that her eye’d been drawn to him at Dev’s party on Cantonica. But what kept her eye on him was more than how he looked or acted. There was something inside, something just at the edge of her comprehension, that pulled her in, teasing her with the possibility of understanding. As if someone like Ben Solo could ever truly be understood.

But as she lay in his arms and listened to the soft sounds of his breath as he slept, Rey felt closer to clarity than she ever had. She was here for a reason, she saw that now. Whether the Force or his mother’s intervention, she was meant to be by Ben’s side. Which most definitely threw a wrench in her whole ‘save credits and fuck off to an unknown part of the galaxy’ plan.

She was a wanted woman, and she’d pissed off enough sentients across the galaxy that she wasn’t sure she’d ever be free of that life. And then there was Crimson Dawn. Rey’d fucked up the day she'd stolen from them. At least she’d had enough sense to wear a helmet on that mission, but what about biometric scanners? One wrong step and they’d have her. And everyone knew that _no one _came back after that Syndicate found them.

_Maybe I could tell Ben… _But she clamped down on that thought before it could take root in her heart or, worse, that he’d be able to divine it. He might be understanding and powerful, but what could an Aristo do to help someone like her? Besides, it wasn’t his fight. She’d fucked up, and would pay the price if she needed to.

_Still… for now… _Her hand brushed a lock of Ben’s long, dark hair away from his brow. In sleep, he looked so peaceful. All of his masks melted away to reveal a beautiful face, unmarred by pretense. It was a face she could fall in love with, that she _was _falling in love with.

She’d have to talk to Rose about this. Maybe Finn. They’d know what to do. They always seemed to know what to do with complicated issues. And how much more complicated could it get than a bodyguard and smuggler developing feelings for one of her clients, even though she knew better?

And he seemed to reflect those feelings, which impossibly complicated things. It’d be so much easier if he was as vapid as he sometimes pretended to be, but he wasn’t. He was so much more than anyone gave him credit for. He was… perfect, just the way he was. No masks. No make-believe. Just Ben. Though he probably wouldn’t believe it to hear it from her, or anyone. Still, it didn’t matter. He was important to her and, concerns or not, she’d do her best to keep him safe while she was with him.

The long, aching moments they’d shared cycled through her mind as her thoughts shifted to what he’d done with her. It almost felt like he was taking his time with her, like a sexual mithridatism. Dosing her bit by bit, working up her resistance so she didn’t have an adverse reaction and bolt. Piece by piece, he showed her his world, and how good he could make her feel, even at the expense of his own desires.

Or was it the other way around? Rey had heard stories during her travels, of sentients that would poison their lovers to keep them coming home at night where the only antidote could be received from the lips of their beloved. Was she being poisoned by Ben? With each little temptation, he broke down her walls and made her reconsider every one of her rules, and always left her wanting more.

Still, as she watched him sleep, she couldn’t help but think she’d walk through fire for him, so a little poison—a little betrayal—wouldn’t be so bad. She’d worried for so long that he’d break her heart, but what it felt like he was doing was putting it back together, piece by jagged piece.

Rey found herself with Ben, found herself in his arms, as his protector, friend, and lover. Didn’t she deserve this piece of happiness? Didn’t she deserve it, in a life that had been spent wrapped up in longing, but never receiving? As if sensing her thoughts, Ben’s arms tightened a little as he slept, and she nestled into that warmth.

And took comfort because, at least for the moment, she was his and he was hers. The galaxy was a ruthless place, but for a few heartbreaking moments, she would hold him close, and be held by him, as time pushed them inexorably towards their destiny.

* * *

_ **And now for the latest from Galaxy Glitter...** _

_Imagine us, all dressed up and nowhere to go, but it’s a good thing we were inside for this one—dangerous events, these charity auctions are! Everyone was there! Devrum Fentest, Catonica’s gorgeous and notorious celebrity gambler. Only stealing hearts instead of casino jackpots today, sentients! Governor Armitage Hux, looking as imposing and dashing in person as he does in all the Senate holos. Yes, we watch them just to see Hux. No, we don’t feel bad about it. _

_And did our eyes deceive us, but did we detect a hint of longing from Ben Solo towards his old beau? Staring so intently at Armie waiting patiently behind the stage. How sweet. Yes, we might be a little jealous, but we know how it goes. Rekindle an old flame, but it all burns to ash in the end and *we’re always here for you, Benny!* _

_You know I’m saving the best part for last… Who could have it in for Ben Solo, we can only guess, but with as many beds as he’s slid his way into, he can’t help but have a few enemies! But you know us, as long as the outcome is positive, we live for the drama. _

_Did you see it? The flash of the blaster? The way that sentient was able to evade those battle droids? Ben’s shocked expression? We have to guess it’s not the first time Ben’s had something almost explode in his face, but fortunately, his bodyguard was there to save the day. _

_Oh, loves, we were breathless! The way she swooped in and saved Ben from that reckless, feckless being? Heart-stopping. Jaw-dropping. Who even brings a Clone Wars era combat umbrella to a celebrity function? This gossip can’t help but feel like we’re about to see a stunning resurgence of parasols on the red, green, blue, and glittering carpets around the galaxy! _

_Whoever you are, bodyguard, pouncing Loth-cat that you are, gods bless you for keeping our Ben safe. But here’s hoping his next event is a little less… eventful. _

_See you on Bespin, darlings! As ever, stay gorgeous! And if you don’t have anything nice to say, send it to us first! _

_-GG out and plotting how to be Ben’s rebound this time around._

* * *

**Author's Notes: **“High ground?” More like the thigh ground, amirite? Har har har. Anyways, referencing that story about ladies who poison their husbands to keep them from cheating because they only have the antidote (which had to be administered nightly), I can’t remember the name of it lol (I was thinking Aqua Tofana but that actually killed the men and I think that this one was a story?? Anyway, I’m too afraid to google it lol). I don’t know why I was thinking of this, but whatever. It’s fanfic and I can be as weird as I want lol. Me reading through this as I edited: SLUTTIER. MAKE IT SLUTTIER. And then, I did. Amen. Also me to me: how tf am I going to edit this for ffnet lol. All well, it's a challenge, I guess? This is my own fault for being nostalgic for that site. Rose and Finn when they read GG's blast: 👀👀👀

I swear, they’re gonna fuck (make loveTM). Soon. I SWEARS it on the precious. Anyway, all mistakes are my own, my precious. Grammarly was being a turd, so pardon IT, please and thank you. And for some reason, I’m in a real LoTR mood? Who knows? 2020. Thank you all so much for your lovely comments and for reading. It honestly means more to me than I can say that you spend time with me and this story in a year that’s been pretty overwhelming for a lot of us. Take care and hope you’re managing. BIG HUGS!

* * *

**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend, hit me up on ** [ **Twitter, ** ](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) **or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading! **

**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom ** [ **@pacificwandere1 ** ](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) ** but I'm also still on Tumblr ** [ **@pacificwanderer ** ](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/) **. Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media for 2020 :) **


	17. Give What You Take

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too many shots of Corellian whisky, hangover cures, and sexy holo calls with the galaxy's most eligible bachelor.

For one Aristo reason or another, the date Cirraen won with Ben kept getting pushed back, which meant Rey didn’t end up seeing Ben as soon as she’d expected to. And that was strangely disappointing in a way that she wasn’t interested in dwelling on. Had she really gotten used to seeing him on a semi-regular basis? What a rookie mistake.

Sure, he cared about her and she cared about him, and maybe she was a little bit falling in love with him, but that did not excuse getting used to having him in her life, especially when their lives were so vastly different! It was probably for the best that Finn got sent out on the next few assignments for Leia and Ben, not only because they sounded boring as fuck, but because Rey needed some time to figure herself out.

And it wasn’t like Ben left her entirely alone. Whether dreaming or awake, he dominated her thoughts in a way that didn’t feel entirely natural, but still strangely comfortable. Thinking about him felt right, like slipping into a favorite, worn-out sweater with holes in it. More recently, he’d started messaging her on her comms and sending short holos.

Sweet messages, mostly. Almost felt like he was checking in on her.

_Finn says you’ve been gloomy since coming back from Arkanis. Miss me, sweetness?_

Sometimes, they were a little nonsensical.

_Saw this prickly Corellian hound and thought of you. Its name is Butter—Say ‘hello,’ Butter *a long growl before the holo abruptly cut off*_

And sometimes, they were sexy as hell—A shot of Ben as he dressed in the morning. Lip caught between his teeth as he showed off just a touch too much of himself. Not that she was complaining, but when she’d messaged him later about sending lewd holos and he’d shrugged off her concerns.

“I trust you with my life.”

“And your nudes?”

“Just so, smuggler.”

She could only shake her head. It wasn’t that he was wrong to trust her. She _could _be trustworthy, for the right price. And he was paying her, or his mother was, or someone in their treasury was—it didn’t matter. At any rate, she could be trustworthy for him. She _wanted_ to be trustworthy for him. And his trust in her felt… good. It felt really good.

Kind of addictive. Which shouldn’t have come as a surprise, given how addicted she was to just about everything about him. It was _him_. She wanted to be better, be _more,_ because of Ben. For so long, life had been about the same thing: getting enough credits together that she could escape the smuggler life and hide somewhere.

But what if it could be more? What if _she _could be something more? At least, to someone else? Rey wasn’t certain whether her shift in priorities was going to pan out for her, but it was interesting how things had changed since she met Ben.

At first, she’d thought him spoiled, indolent, and a little reckless. And he was all of those things, but he was more than his public persona portrayed. As they spoke and grew closer, she began to understand just how much of Ben’s public face was carefully constructed, and how much more he was when that mask came off and the walls came down.

He was _funny._ Sweet. Achingly sexy. And so, so indulgent. It felt like he was holoing and comming her, not so much because he wanted to, but because he knew how much it meant to her to have someone out there checking up on her. Caring. Some nights, when the stars were out and the noises from nature on Takodana combined with the creaks and groans of Maz’s centuries-old castle, he’d tell her every lurid detail of what he wanted to do with her.

Hearing the soft catch in his voice as his hand descended—imagining it was _her _hand making his deep voice hitch—as he spun wicked, nighttime tales for her, was almost as seductive as the way he was with her in person. Ben knew what to say, how to say it, and what Rey needed as he helped her along while she sought her pleasure.

He was as wanton as they said he was, but only with her. Ben was good at making people believe things about himself. However, when it came down to it, Rey didn’t think there was anyone else in the galaxy that he really showed himself to. And maybe it was because of their strange connection or her unwillingness to be taken in by that public mask he wore, but it felt natural and right that he would trust her.

And it was beginning to feel natural and right that he would want her, which was dangerous because it came along with a bunch of expectations that Rey wasn’t used to having. Especially after the nights when he’d call to talk, just before she fell asleep. And they would. Late into the night and early morning hours. Just talking. Rey got used to his calls, to his holos, to the sweet ways that he reminded her that she was on his mind.

Sometimes they only talked. Other times, he painted wicked pictures for her to enjoy before she fell asleep. And all too often, she forgot that she was just a smuggler and that he was a prince, and for a few blessed moments, they were just two people who cared for each other. Two people falling in love.

Finn and Rose noticed something was up and, _of course_, they’d seen the gossip holos about what happened on Arkanis. So far, they’d respected her privacy enough not to pry too badly. Even Maz hadn’t dug for more information during their debrief, which made Rey wonder just how much information she’d be getting from Ben—or Leia.

Truthfully, Rey wanted to talk to them about Finn and Rose about it all, but she wasn’t used to talking to _anyone _about anything and was just getting used to Ben being there for her like that. But they knew something was up. Rose noticed the way Rey’d stare off into space, a little smile working its way onto her face as she thought about something Ben did or said.

And Finn _definitely _knew something was up, especially considering he did bodyguard work for Ben too. A few times, he’d come back from an assignment and give her the _hardest _look, and it’d take everything Rey had not to spill and tell him everything. Because she had a feeling that he knew whatever had changed her mood recently, it had something to do with Ben.

One time, in particular, Finn caught Rey as she was heading to the Starbird to do some upkeep, and slipped a small box into her hand.

“What’s this?”

Finn shrugged. “No clue. Ben gave it to me to give it to you. Said it was to thank you for ‘saving him.’”

Rey frowned. “Yeah, well. We’re kind of paid to do that.”

Finn raised his palms and waved them as he said, “Just the messenger, pumpkin. So…”

“‘So,’ what?”

“You gonna open it?”

Rey nibbled her lip. “I guess so?”

How bad could it be? The little package was wrapped with a glossy, silver foil and once she got that removed, a little blue, velveteen box was revealed.

“He proposing?” Finn asked and whatever flashed across Rey’s face was so serious that he clarified, “I’m kidding, but it does look like a ring box.”

Rey swallowed and pressed the release, only for the little box to pop open and reveal…

“It’s a pendant?”

“Necklace,” Finn added while looking down at the box in her hand.

Set against a golden chain was a glittering blue butterfly, just like the ones on Ben’s dress. Come to think of it, she had talked about how his dress reminded him of the butterflies on Endor, and how lovely she found it.

“That’s really… sweet?” she said, unsure.

Finn nodded. “It _is _sweet. You sure there’s not more going on between you two? Ben asks about you when I’m on assignment, just so you know,” he prodded.

Rey clammed up immediately and snapped the little box closed with a pronounced _click._

“Nope, nothing going on,” she replied, a little too quickly to avoid suspicion.

“Sure,” Finn drawled, obviously not believing a word of what she’d said. “Anyway, Ben says ‘hello.’”

“That all?”

A grin worked its way onto Finn’s handsome face. “No, because what he actually said was, ‘Tell Rey she left her underthings beneath my bed, but that I’m not giving them back any time soon.’”

“He did not say that!” she balked.

Finn laughed. “No, he didn’t. But got you going for a second!”

Rey rolled her eyes, slipped the box into her pocket, and took off before Finn could get her to reveal any sordid details about what was going on between her and Ben. Because she most certainly _had _forgotten a pair of underthings near his couch, and she could only imagine what Ben had done with them. She hadn’t asked, and Ben hadn’t volunteered any information, either.

She hoped 3PO found and disposed of them, but she was certain that wasn’t the case. So, somewhere out there on Arkanis, or maybe on his person, Ben now had a pair of her panties. And she had a remarkably beautiful glittering blue butterfly necklace that shimmered so wonderfully in the light, it almost looked real. Finn was going to have to leave empty-handed today because he wasn’t getting any gossip from her.

And, really, how could she tell Finn anything other than that they both found each other desirable and often it resulted in some pretty sexy times? Even she didn’t really know what that meant, especially with Ben muddying the waters by sending her _actual gifts. _That she, unfortunately, loved to bits and pieces and put on as soon as Finn was out of eyesight.

Rey kept her developing relationship to herself, for a little while, anyway. Until one night, after Finn returned from a hectic run, Rey, Rose, and Finn decided to get shitfaced to celebrate and to help him unwind. Finn had a few battle scars to deal with. A blaster shot had singed the skin on his brow, but bacta and bandages were piecing him back together.

Finn tugged Rose into his body as they slowly walked up the stairs in front of Rey, and her heart lurched a little at the sweet display. If there was a couple in the galaxy better suited for each other than Rose and Finn, she hadn’t met them yet, and probably never would.

_Wonder when wedding bells will be chiming? _Rey thought with a small smile. It was nice to see how happy they were, even if she was a little envious. But those were thoughts for another time. She was glad Finn had made it back safely, and it had been a while since they’d last all had a drink together.

So, with a bottle… or three… of whisky in hand, they’d made their way up into the ramparts of Maz’s castle and settled in to do some stargazing and drinking. The stars on Takodana were second to none, and meteors often made their way across the inky skyline.

At first, they chatted about Finn’s mission. Somehow, he’d got caught in a firefight between two rival Syndicates, and he’d barely made it out with his ship—and himself—intact. Rose bitched a bit about how unruly Maz’s cantina had been lately, especially with all the Syndicate infighting, and they’d all taken a shot at Rose’s joke that Maz dealt with the ruckus the only way she knew how: “With a big-ass blaster.”

Eventually, the conversation shifted, and it was in the middle of her fifth shot of Corellian whisky that Rey realized she’d been telling Finn and Rose way the fuck more about herself and Ben than she’d intended. And here she thought she could hold her liquor. She could _not. _At least, not Corellian whisky.

“This is bad,” she slurred, on the verge of tears.

Rose shook her head and wrapped her arm around Rey’s shoulder. “No, it’s fine. I’m glad you’re opening up.”

“Yeah, and besides. I think this is all going according to plan, anyway. So, despite getting shot at, the outcome isn’t so bad,” Finn added before gently extracting the shot glass from Rey’s hand and replacing it with a therma-canteen.

“Plan? What plan?” Rey managed, one eye open as it tried and failed to focus on her friend’s face while he gently urged her to drink some damn water.

“Oh, you know, the galaxy’s plan for us all!” Rose quickly cut in—a little too quickly.

“Plan! Pfff!” Rey sputtered. “No plans for me, unless suffering is a plan?”

Rose reached out and patted Rey’s hand consolingly while Finn shifted a little against the castle wall. “Maybe we should let her…,” Finn started before Rose silenced him with a look. “Another time, I guess.”

Had Rey not been so drunk, she might have pressed him on it. As it was, Rey just kept _talking. _It wasn’t like the three of them weren’t building a great friendship or anything, but the depth and length of the conversation, and the dirty details, were beyond what Finn and Rose were used to.

“And, you know, he’s just so…”

“What?” Finn and Rose managed in unison, betraying their eagerness to hear more.

“_Nice_. I wasn’t expecting that. Aristos are _never nice. _But he’s nice.”

“Well, I’ve sort of known Ben for a while, so I could have told you—”

“—And his fingers are fucking _girthy_!”

Rose blinked and Finn snorted into the shot glass he was nursing. “Too much info, Rey,” he chided.

“They say the camera adds ten pounds, but it’s _not true!_” Rey carried on, drunk on whisky and the memory of Ben’s hands.

“I don’t think it’s concentrated on the hands, in particular…” Rose mumbled as Rey continued to rant.

“And the worst part? He’s so much better than I thought he would be. And I hate it.”

“Why’s that?”

“Yeah, that sounds like the opposite of a problem,” Finn added.

Rey sighed with a little more effort than was purely necessary. “Because it’s gonna be so hard to let him go.”

Rose leaned her head on Rey’s shoulder and gave her a soft hug before asking, “What if you don’t have to let him go?”

Rey shook her head sadly. “I can’t keep him. He’s too… _him._ I’m too… _me._”

Whether from the alcohol or the perpetual sadness within her heart, this was the point in the conversation where the whole world started to spin. And _spin. _Fortunately for Rey, Finn, and Rose were more accustomed to whisky than she, and they knew just the trick to keep her from waking up with the galaxy’s worst hangover.

After getting Rey down from the top of the castle and into her room, Finn and Rose whipped up the foulest smelling concoction for her to drink.

“I know you know this works,” Finn said as Rey pouted up at him.

“But I don’t _wanna,_” she slurred.

Rose put the glass against her lips. “Plug your nose and drink.”

As petite as Rose was, she was fearless and also a little fearsome. Rey might have been able to get some sympathy from Finn, but Rose was used to dealing with Maz’s recruits and assholes from her cantina. She did _not _suffer fools. It was one reason Rey loved her so much but, at the moment, it meant Rey was on the receiving end of Rose’s grit.

“Down the hatch…,” Rose crooned while tipping the glass back.

One disgusting drink and about two hours later, Rey was laying in her bed. Rose’s concoction had worked. Well, the room wasn’t spinning anymore, so that was a win. Snuggled under her covers and mostly lucid, her thoughts turned to Ben. Things were weird between them, but weird good. It was nice to think that there was someone out there in the galaxy who was thinking of her. Who cared.

Now comfortably buzzed instead of ridiculously drunk, Rey was just settling into her small bed when her comms went off. Whoever was hailing her this late was about to get a fucking earful, that was certain. Fumbling with her bedside table, Rey grabbed for her Holo-pad and angrily answered the transmission, only to be greeted by the devastatingly handsome face of Ben Solo.

“You better be dying,” Rey joked. “I was _almost _asleep.”

“Sleep is for the weak,” he said with a little laugh. “Besides, you told me you’d be waiting for my call, so here it is.”

Rey blinked at the holo. “When, exactly, did I say that?”

Ben seemed as confused as she was. “So, you’re not interested in Holo-sex?” he drawled.

“You called me for an intergalactic holo-sex session?” Rey squeaked. “I don’t know where you get your nerve!”

Ben’s hologram cocked his head to the side. “So, you don’t remember the messages you sent me a few hours ago?”

“What messages?” She’d been with Finn and Rose. And then she got _drunk. _They’d left for a bit to go make that anti-hangover remedy, so she’d messed around on her holo a bit and checked the latest Galaxy Glitter gossip and then…

_Oh, no._

“You sent me a comm out of the blue and offering to strip for me on holo,” he clarified.

“Doing what with the how now?” Rey sputtered. “I wouldn’t… I mean. There’s no way that I would do something like that?”

Ben laughed. And then laughed some more. And _kept _laughing, much to Rey’s ire. It wasn’t like things hadn’t been heating up between them lately, but she was more than a little humiliated at her drunken stupidity.

After Ben composed himself, the holo shifted a little as he sat on the edge of what was probably his bed. “Why don’t you check your recordings? You might be surprised at who you call when alcohol is in your system and—little word to the wise—next time you drink with friends, hand your communication devices over _before _you start unless you want to talk to me in the middle of the night.”

Rey rolled away from the holo and flicked through the settings on her wrist comm. And, to her abject horror, there _were _multiple messages to Ben.

_Hi, Benny! You awake? Should be dancing with me under the stars! You dance so nice. You have the legs for it._

A little while later, _Heeeeeeeeey, Bennnnnnn! Stop ignoring me. Do I have to strip to get your attention—the fewer clothes, the better? Hah hah hah._

And more: _So, about the stripping. I’m outside and I can’t do much because my friends are gonna be right back, but here’s some skin..._

Rey disconnected her comms before she could see more.

“Well, fuck,” she said as her cheeks flushed with color. “I’m sorry, Ben. That wasn’t appropriate at all.”

Ben huffed softly. “I’m sorry that you didn’t realize you sent them. I would have approached this a little differently if I’d known.”

“Yeah, well. I’m embarrassed,” Rey admitted before rolling back towards Ben’s holo.

“Maybe I can even the playing field a bit?” Ben offered with a grin.

“How’s that now?”

The holo shimmered as Ben stood. He was remarkably covered, considering Rey was used to seeing him in hardly anything at all lately. Ben was dressed in a dark suit that was slashed across the middle with a deep, indigo-colored sash. A flowing robe was affixed to his shoulders with a glimmering silver chain. It almost looked like he’d just returned from one of his mom’s formal events.

Rey had to admit, he looked good. Too damn good. The holo was clear, and it felt almost as if he was standing right there with her, which was absurd but didn’t make it any less true.

Rey was always surprised at how connected they felt, even when she was making an ass of herself. Almost as if fate or damnation or something else was constantly pushing them together. Okay, so maybe it was fate in the form of Ben’s credits, and his insistence on her working for him. Occasionally, she wondered how things would be if she’d not spotted him at Dev’s or had never gotten that assignment invite from Maz. Maybe she’d have never met the spoiled, beautiful, indulgent prince?

Rey watched as the holo flickered, and when Ben slipped his cloak off from his shoulders, she realized _very _quickly how Ben meant to repay her.

“You don’t have to do this, Ben,” Rey sputtered, but he waved off her concerns.

“I know I don’t, but I want to,” he assured her. “You can keep it as blackmail material.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “We both know that half the galaxy has already seen what you have to offer. You’re not exactly discrete,” Rey deadpanned.

Ben gave her a shrug. “Can’t change the past, can we?”

The holo shifted again as he moved. Ben must have positioned it somewhere closer to the bed. As he slowly inched off his clothing, Rey remembered what all the fuss about stripping was about. She should have known better. He _had _tried to warn her on Arkanis.

And that quick striptease in Ben’s dressing room came to mind as he slowly peeled off layer after layer. He was putting on a show for her and Rey couldn’t tear her eyes away as Ben’s hips shifted in a slow dance.

His muscles flexed as he moved, drawing her eyes to his broad chest and thickly muscled abs. He was positively sinful, and he knew it. Ben’s hands slid down over the expanse of his abdomen before hitching on the band of his pants. With a wink, Ben slipped his pants down his hips, revealing his thick cock and long legs.

_It is not fair. _How could one man be so fucking attractive?

“Bit of a professional at these, aren’t you?” Rey joked while she tried to keep her hormones in check.

“Something like that,” Ben agreed as he finally slid into the bed. The Holo shifted a little as his position changed and, with a pointed look, Ben took his cock in hand, gave a few obscene pumps. Rey looked on, lips parted. Ben let out a little laugh as he saw her.

“That’s a good look on you,” he commented as he shifted, legs spreading as he presented himself for her optimal viewing.

Rey’s mouth snapped shut. “I thought you were supposed to be putting on a show? If you want to chat, we can do that with our clothes on,” Rey shot back.

Ben grinned. “There’s my Rey,” he crooned as he took himself back in hand.

Rey’s mouth felt dry as she watched him stroke his dick. It was obscenely thrilling to watch Ben touch himself. His hand worked its way up and down his length, fist tight as he stared at Rey through the holo.

“Are you going to just sit there and watch, or are you going to join me? You can keep your clothes on,” Ben added cheekily.

Rey huffed as she flopped her head back onto her pillow. _Well, _if he was going to have fun with himself, so was she. Given how their calls had finished lately, it wasn’t entirely surprising for things to end up this way. Still, listening to _and _watching Ben stroke his dick was a temptation she wasn’t about to resist.

“This is a _secure _transmission, right?” Rey checked. The last thing she needed was lewd captures of herself for all the galaxy to see.

“Of course,” he replied, as if it was obvious, which meant this _definitely _wasn’t his first time. Though, it probably shouldn’t have surprised Rey that the son of Senator Leia Organa would have access to secure comlinks and holos.

Rey rolled her head to the side while her hand slipped low, dipping under the band of her underwear only to realize that she was already wet.

_It is fucking unfair how sexy he is, _she thought, as her body reacted to his decadent show. Almost as if he’d heard her thought, Ben winked at her before increasing the pace of his hand. And then he spoke. It hit her almost as hard as the holo of him grabbing his cock.

“Are you wet, Rey? Is your body all hot and achy for me?”

“Of fucking course it is. I’m watching you masturbate!” she squeaked.

Ben chuckled softly, and the sound echoed through her. “I love that mouth of yours. Just as wicked as ever. No one talks to me the way you do,” he said languidly, as if he wasn’t holding his cock in his hand as he spoke to her in the nude.

Rey would have rolled her eyes if she wasn’t so fucking aroused. “Yes, well. What do I have to lose?”

_Nothing. She had nothing and was no one... _The last thing she was going to do was let some Aristo walk all over her, though Ben was remarkable in that regard, and he treated her like an equal.

“I agree. It’s me that has much to lose....” She wasn’t sure what to make of that as his words trailed off while his free hand slipped low to fondle his sac.

Rey let out a deep moan as she watched, touching herself in response to Ben’s wicked display. _Gods_, she was fucking soaking through her underwear. It would have been embarrassing, except that Ben was always pushing her beyond her expectations. There wasn’t anyone else that made her feel the way Ben did and, Rey was certain, there wouldn’t be anyone else in her life that could ever compare.

Rey’s sex squelched loudly as she dipped her fingers inside, pumping slowly as she tried to remember what Ben’s hand felt like within her. It wasn’t quite the same, but it would have to do considering she was on Takodana and he was... wherever he was.

“You’re so eager, sweetness. Are you going to come for me already?” Ben choked out. His hand left his length as he dug out some lubrication from somewhere near where he lay. The bottle squirted liquid into his palm before he tossed it to the side and returned his hand to his cock.

“_Fuck_!” she breathed as she watched his slick hand move. She wanted this to last and wished to the galaxy that he _was _there with her because she needed his touch so badly that she ached for it. But she didn’t want it to be over either.

“I can’t. Ben, I _need_... I need....” _You_, she added mentally.

It was almost frightening how aroused she felt, and how badly she wanted him. Her heart hammered against her chest as she simultaneously fought and staved off her release. Her head spun and she wasn’t sure it was only from the lingering alcohol in her veins. _He _was just as bad as a vice and twice as appealing.

Ben seemed to know exactly what she needed. “Listen to my voice. I _am _there with you. Wrapped right around your body—one hand holding the side of your neck while the other delves between your legs. Can you feel me?”

Rey’s eyes clamped shut as she tried to envision what Ben was describing—the press of his hard body at her back, his warmth, the way he just _knew _how to touch her. Rey’s fingers rolled the slickness between her legs up and over her throbbing clit. It was almost _too _sensitive, as if it missed his touch and was resisting her release somehow.

“Rey,” he growled, commanding her attention. “I’m right there with you.”

Rey gasped as she let her imagination take over. It almost _did _feel like he was there, like he had some power that allowed them to bridge the gap between space and time.

“I can feel you. _Oh, Ben,_” she moaned.

She could imagine the way he felt, his broad body slick with sweat, his hands firm and insistent as they touched her, his lips against her neck as he murmured encouragement into her skin. Ben could get into her head like no one else. He could see right through to the core of her desires and would achingly string her body along, drawing out her pleasure until she was weak for him, until her only point of contact with reality was his sure touch.

And then, once she’d asked for it, he’d let her come.

But her defiance would often show itself. She was a strong woman, and she’d managed on her own for so long, it was almost hard to let herself over into his care and keeping. Trust was a hard thing to come by, but even though Ben often sometimes her crazy, she _did _trust him.

There was a light inside of him that echoed within her, and an answering darkness that called out to her own. He fit like a puzzle piece that she hadn’t realized was missing from her life. It was frightening and wonderful.

And sometimes, when she let Ben show her exactly what she’d be gaining if she let him into her life on a more permanent basis, the realization at what she’d receive shook her took her core—and often scared her away.

They _fit. _She knew it. He knew it. But Rey had been on her own for so long, it was hard to hand over any amount of trust. People were selfish. People betrayed her for their interests. People died. And could she manage if she let Ben in, only to have him one day disappear?

_Rey... _his voice seemed to echo all around her.

“Here and now,” he murmured through the holo. “Stay with me. I’ll catch you if you fall.”

_Okay... Trust him. I can trust him, _a little voice inside her head told her. Rey relaxed into her touch and the pleasure brought on by his wicked commands and her lingering alcoholic buzz.

“Feel my hand as it slides down your skin and pumps between your legs—stuffing you full while the other circles your clit. Sweetness, you’re so good for me. Look at the flush on your skin, the way you pant for me. You are divine, Rey.”

“_Ben..._,” Rey whined as her free hand followed his commands. Her fingers weren’t long or thick enough to mimic his truly, but his strained voice and the sight of him fucking his hand were enough to keep her on that pleasurable edge.

“That’s my Rey. You’re soaking. I can _hear _how wet you are. Almost feel it. Gods, you are incomparable and you’re all mine, aren’t you?” he said with a groan as Rey shifted to stare into the holo.

His legs were splayed, and his hand moved along his cock furiously as he looked to be getting close to coming as well. Ben’s back arched off the bed, and the holo flickered as Rey watched.

“Say it. _Please,_” he groaned.

Rey’s eyes fluttered closed as her fingers worked between her legs. She was going to fucking come, but first, she would tell him what he wanted to hear. “I am _yours, _Ben. And you better _not _fucking forget it.”

Ben let out a loud groan. “Never. _I will never _forget it. Now show me how pretty you look when you come all over your hand. I want to remember this moment _forever._”

Rey’s head thrashed against her pillow as the pleasure rushed through her, radiating from her core outward. But there was something more. As before, she felt as if Ben was right there with her—in her mind, against her, _inside _her—wickedly heightening her orgasm with his touch.

It was an overwhelming and otherworldly feeling, frightening even as the pleasure lingered while Ben joined her. Rey moaned, watching as his hips bucked off of his bed. His cock twitched as he twisted his hand, pumping once—_twice—_before thick ropes of cum shot from his length, painting his stomach with his release as he came _and came._

Rey stared at Ben as they both fought for breath and the words to describe what they evoked in each other.

_There’s something more at work here... _Rey thought dreamily as she watched the rapid rise and fall of Ben’s chest while he enjoyed the afterglow of his orgasm. Even as her mind fought to rationalize how real the encounter had felt, her body and heart resisted and called out for one terrifying thing: _more._

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**Author's Notes:** Hi hi hi! I hurt my wrists! So I had to take a break from typing for a bit ☹ But here’s something a lil fluffy and smutty (with some secrets, ooohhhhh secrets). Hope you’re all doing well. Trying to find some exercises for my hands that I can work into my daily routine because I type *a lot* and mouse *a lot* and I’m gonna have no wrists in a few years lol. So if anyone has any great suggestions, I’m all ears and sad hands. Thanks for reading and for all of your support! Means a lot to me. Take care and talk soon 😊

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**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend, ** **or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading!**

**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom** [@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) **but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media for 2020 :)**


	18. I'll Maybe Let You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has a startling revelation en route to meet Ben on Bespin. After landing, Finn and Rose are off on their own mission on Cloud City for Maz, and when Rey reconnects with Ben in person, will he be able to keep his hands to himself? Or did he miss her just as much as she missed him?

It was just before noon, and they were still several hours out from Bespin when Rey realized she was in love with Ben Solo. With Finn flying the Starbird and Rose acting as co-pilot, she’d decided to take some time for herself and read the latest gossip holos. By all accounts, it was a normal day, except for her startling revelation.

She’d always thought that there was the potential for her to fall in love with Ben. She’d been resisting his allure almost from the start. But it was somewhere between reading Galaxy Glitter’s latest blast, and realizing that she felt _bad _about it, that she discovered the reason why.

_Oh, fuck, _she thought to herself as a small hologram of Ben fluttered before her eyes.

He looked good, not that this wasn’t completely normal too. The outfit he wore was somewhere between a jumpsuit and a dress, with wide lapels that split in the middle to reveal his pale, bare chest. In his customary violet color, his sleeves were rolled, revealing both his muscled forearms and the shimmering fabric lining. A wide, loose bow was pulled from the sides of his top and hung low on his hips. Flowing pants, tucked into heeled leather boots, topped off the monochromatic look.

With his hair brushed back, his ears peeked through his dark hair and were adorned with golden cuffs. His hair seemed to grow between every time she saw him, and she wondered whether he knew that she had a preference for longer hair, or if it was just in fashion, though the reason for his current style was likely a bit of both.

Galaxy Glitter talked about how his latest look was scooped from the Coruscanti runways, while Rey was transfixed by the expression on his handsome face. He’d been spotted eating dinner with friends on Cantonica, so probably visiting Dev, and someone managed to get some covert shots, before getting better ones as Ben left the restaurant.

He’d been sitting with other people, that much was easy to see, but his face throughout the sequence didn’t look happy with whatever interaction was happening. And, finally, when he’d posed for the photographer, he’d looked almost frazzled? It was strange. Ben never really looked upset at all the previous intrusions into his life.

Between wondering whether she’d never noticed before, and wondering whether she noticed because she knew him so much better now, she pinpointed the reason she noticed at all. She was absolutely, stupidly in love with him. When had her feelings shifted from ‘kind of sort of falling,’ to ‘completely head over heels for him’? Taking a moment, she put her datapad down and tried to think around the spinning thoughts in her head.

_I’m in love with Ben. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

She hated that she could tell he was upset and that she couldn’t do anything at the moment to make him feel better, and hated that, in a time of obvious distress, he was being forced to cater to the whims of his public. Galaxy Glitter didn’t even note his expression, just went on and on about how great he looked and speculated about who he was dining with.

Which made sense, given they were a gossip holonist, but didn’t they even notice that something was wrong? And when her heart clenched and her guilt for intruding on his private lunch overwhelmed her, Rey realized just how big of a problem she had.

_Okay, so I’m in love with him and on my way to do bodyguard work for him. So, how do I keep him from finding out?_

The last thing she needed was for Ben to know the depths of her feelings. _Gods, he’d probably… What would he think?_

Half the galaxy was in love with him, so maybe he’d just throw her in with that lot. But no. There was more running between them than just some sort of celebrity adoration. Hells, she hadn’t even liked him the first time she met him!

Maybe _he _liked her because he thought there was no chance that she’d fall in love with him? Gods, she was such a moron. Between her spiraling and staring at the concerning image of Ben, Rose had walked into the lounge area and started calling Rey’s name, but it wasn’t until her friend was standing right in front of her that she finally noticed.

Rose was wearing a white, long-sleeved jumper that was cinched at the waist by a shiny, black belt, with matching boots. Her rosy complexion was highlighted nicely by an audacious shimmering swipe of gold across her cheeks, with a smoky look on her eyelids. With her dark hair pulled into a sleek, over the shoulder look, she’d fit right in on Bespin, which was the hope, anyway. She and Finn were doing recon for Maz while Rey was doing her work for Ben.

“You okay?” Rose asked. She’d managed to stack some snacks in her arms, probably to share with Finn, and was on her way back to the cockpit she’d noticed Rey quietly freaking out.

“I think… I’ve discovered something terrible.”

Rose settled beside where Rey sat and let the packaged food spill to the side. “Share some snacks? Wanna talk about it?” she asked before plucking up what looked like gummy candies.

“It’s awkward,” Rey warned. She wasn’t good at this whole opening up thing. What if Rose laughed at her? Or thought she was stupid?

Rose tore into the gummy candy bag. “I’m awkward. Life is awkward. Don’t worry about it and tell me what’s going on so I can try to help.”

It was a strange sort of feeling for Rey to have someone in her life that was just _there _for her and didn’t expect anything in return for it. She supposed this was what it felt like to have a friend. It was a nice feeling.

Rey took a deep breath and took a gummy from the bag that Rose was holding between them. “I think I’m in love….” she started before hesitating.

“With Ben,” Rose finished for her.

“Ah, fuck. Is it that obvious?” Rey’s face felt like it was on fire. Here she’d gone and fallen in love. Evidently, _she _was the only one who hadn’t noticed.

Rose shook her head. “No, but I’m good at reading people. And I noticed some changes in your personality since coming back from Ben’s, so I assumed you must have gotten laid or… fallen in love or maybe both?”

Rey groaned loudly. Fuck, this _was so _embarrassing! “I want to curl up and die about this.”

“Why?! Being in love is great!”

“With Ben Solo?”

Rose sighed. “Yeah, I can see how that might be an issue. How does he feel about you?”

Rey shrugged. “I mean, I think he likes me, and he seems to care, but what does that mean when he’s, you know, _him._”

“For what it’s worth, there’s more to Ben than most people realize. I mean, I think you know that, but there’s depth and caring there that most people miss because he’s so… _him_. Why don’t you tell him how you feel? I think he might surprise you.”

Rey blanched. “Oh, my Gods, that is the last thing in the galaxy I’m ever going to do. I mean, it’s not like things could work out between us, given who I am and what I do. And anyway, I’d have to hear it from him first.”

“So, you _are _considering telling him?” Rose interrupted.

Rey rubbed her hands into her face and resisted the urge to die on the spot. “No, but I’m not _not _considering it, if the situation was right. And if he… said it first.”

Rose looked over and narrowed her eyes. “I think you’re being a big fucking scaredy-cat.”

“Obviously! I’ve never done this before!”

“And it is scary,” Rose added.

“It’s terrifying. I feel like my heart is going to burst or I’m going to combust or I don’t even know. Why is this so terrible?”

“Why is the most powerful thing in the galaxy so terrifying? I have no idea,” Rose deadpanned, earning her a gentle shove from Rey.

“I’m fucked, aren’t I?” Rey asked.

Rose reached over and patted her hand consolingly. “Totally fucked. If it’s any consolation, there are worse people in the galaxy to fall in love with.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah! I mean, Ben’s a catch, if you can catch him. I once knew a sentient that fell in love with a sarlaac, and that did _not _end well.”

“You’re joking?” Rey balked.

Rose shook her head. “I wish I were. Anyway, gotta bring some snacks to my love, but you’re doing fine, Rey. Don’t worry.”

“Worrying keeps me alive,” she countered.

“Yeah, but it also keeps you from living. Don’t be too scared to live. Even if you fall flat on your face, you can always pick yourself up again. And you won’t be alone—you’ve got Finn and me now, so don’t forget it.”

Rey thanked her friend as Rose plucked up the bags of treats before heading back to the cockpit. It was… nice to have someone to talk to, even if the feeling was hard to get used to. Naturally, as soon as Rose left, Rey’s thoughts turned to the last time she’d seen Ben in person.

_After he’d rocked my world on that giant couch of his. Turned it right upside down… _she thought wistfully as memories of their night together, and the day after, resurfaced in her mind.

She’d woken on Arkanis to find herself still wrapped in his arms, and had she not been so close to him, she’d have slipped from the couch and retreated to her room before he woke to avoid the embarrassment that was sure to follow when he woke up and realized where he was and who he was with.

But Ben wasn’t at all like she’d expected him to be. It wasn’t like she’d had much experience waking up next to anyone, but she’d assumed, like so many other sentient lifeforms, he’d wake up, see her face, and regret everything that happened between them.

But he didn’t. At first, he’d stirred a little, full lips parting into a wide yawn before peeking down at her. With a smile, his arms tightened around her, his eyes slipped closed again, and he seemed to be trying to catch a few more minutes of sleep while holding on to her, tightly.

Finally, after a few minutes more, he’d stirred again. His morning voice purred out a smug, “Since when have I ever been like anyone else you’ve ever known?”

Rey huffed before rubbing her face into his chest a little. It was such a nice chest—broad and firm, but comfy enough to sleep on, as she’d done for most of the night. His heartbeat was strong and soothing, and she listened for a moment as she tried to gather her thoughts.

“So, we gonna talk about this whole mind-reading thing?” she’d ventured softly, voice similarly raspy from disuse.

Ben shifted a little as his hand trailed over her hip. “I’m not sure what there is to talk about. It’s as strange to me as it is for you.”

“So, the whole mind-reading thing isn’t a Jedi trick?”

He sighed. “Yes and no. In most people, it’s more like… feelings? Impressions of what they’re thinking? But with you its…,” Ben stalled.

_More, _she supplied mentally.

_Exactly,_ he replied in kind.

It was like a conversation that only they were privy to. At least, that was kind of how it felt. Other times, it felt like he could get so completely into her head that Rey didn’t know where Ben began and she ended. But it felt consensual, and not at all like an invasion, which was good because Rey wasn’t certain she wanted Ben knowing every sordid detail from her past, at least not without her choosing to tell him first.

“There are ways to protect your mind,” he’d offered.

Rey shrugged, probably more unconcerned that she should have been. “Are you the only person in the galaxy with this power?”

“Mind reading abilities? No, but I think there are easier methods for getting information out of sentients.”

“Like drugs and pain?”

“Precisely.”

If she hadn’t encountered it before, Rey didn’t think she’d have a problem with other people trying to read her mind. But Ben was insistent.

“I know you think it’s a nonissue, but indulge me?”

“Okay,” she said while snuggling in closer. Ben’s hand had reached up to gently thread through her messy hair.

“Think of it this way, it’s not so much about keeping someone out, but more like muddying the water so they can’t see clearly.”

“So, think some rancid thoughts and people will back out quietly?”

Ben chuckled softly. “Yeah, actually. Or focus on so many thoughts that there’s nothing they can grab a hold to. And, just so you’re aware, it took me years and a lot of teenage angst to get this through my head.”

Rey huffed. “You were dramatic as a teen?”

“As if you have to ask.”

Given how Ben had a flair for the dramatic now, she could only imagine how he’d been when hormones had played a major factor.

“I’m sure you were adorable,” she cooed teasingly.

“I’m sure that’s the last thing I’d have wanted to hear,” he sighed. “All limbs and ears and nose.”

“I love your limbs and ears and nose!” she countered.

Ben laughed, but his arms tightened around her middle. “You say that now.”

“I’m sure I’d have said it then if I’d known you as a kid. How anyone can resist you is a mystery to me,” she admitted softly.

“Ah, I’ve done it, then?”

“What?” Rey’d peeked her head up and looked at him. He looked positively smug.

“Gotten into that tightly locked heart of yours.”

“Hmph, you wish.” He had, he most definitely had, and hearing more about his past only made her heart open that much more for him.

_This is…. No_. She wouldn’t say it or think it because then he’d _know _and he absolutely could not know _that _particular piece of information. Not now, and maybe not ever.

“Stop changing the subject,” she’d teased.

And then he’d spent the rest of the morning teaching her how to block her mind from outside intrusion from the Force. It wasn’t entirely comfortable. Some of his training felt downright intrusive, but she could see how this sort of thing was necessary. They were about halfway through his impromptu training session when Rey had a sudden realization.

“Does this mean I have the Force?”

Ben’d laughed. “We all have the Force, but you have the potential to use it, yes. I’m surprised it hasn’t manifested in you before now.”

“How does it manifest itself?” Rey’d asked.

“Generally, when you’re emotional. I accidentally broke a lot of my mother’s picture frames as a kid. That sort of thing.”

Rey’d tried to think of situations where something like that happened to her, but nothing came to mind. More than anything, she’d been… well, lucky. And a great shot. And had managed to get herself out of so many situations where she should have ended up dead.

“That could be it, too,” Ben offered, reading her open thoughts. “My dad loves to say the Force is ‘hokey bullshit,’ but I swear he’s the luckiest shot in the galaxy.”

Maybe that was the way of it for her. It wasn’t long into Ben’s training that the mood shifted between them, and the insistent longing that ran between them meant that they soon wanted to do so much more than reading each other’s thoughts. This time, it didn’t move much further than kisses.

Though kissing while nude was something Rey discovered she loved, and all the while she sent teasing thoughts of what he’d done to her and what she’d _like _him to do to her back into his mind before he finally groaned softly and bemoaned the fact that he couldn’t make it a reality for her.

“Too much to do today,” he said apologetically.

“And I’m not on that list of ‘to do,’ am I?”

“Unfortunately, no. But the next time we see each other….” he’d drawled. And it was with thoughts of next time and what had already happened between them that Rey and Ben had gone on with their day, ultimately parting ways as she went back to Takodana and him to Coruscant.

Now, realizing the depth of her feelings for him, she remembered the way he cared for her—how it felt like he wanted to keep her safe and would do whatever he needed to keep her that way. And now _her_ caring had changed to something infinitely more terrifying, but also more precious. She was in love with him. And as the Starbird drew closer and closer to the Bespin system, Rey thought of the million ways this information could go wrong for her.

But a little voice in the almost forgotten space of her broken heart reminded her that maybe, just maybe, this time things would go right for her and that Ben was worth hoping for. And as that gentle and fragile warmth settled around her, Rey decided to let destiny do what it had been doing all along: show her the way forward.

* * *

Rey arrived in Bespin and, though she’d seen some sights in her time, nothing quite compared to the look of the floating city illuminated in a splash of golden sunlight and surrounded by fluffy, white clouds. Though Bespin was also a mining colony, it was also known for being an elite destination for Aristos.

No one in the galaxy had a reputation quite like the city’s Baron Administrator, Lando Calrissian, not even his notorious nephew. When people visited Bespin, they expected to have a good time, and Lando was an ever-gracious host that went far to indulge his guests.

Known for being charming, decadent, and devastatingly handsome, Rey wondered just how much Ben had learned from his uncle, and whether the reputation was hiding more than he led on, just like with his nephew. Calrissian was also a celebrated general from the Galactic Civil War, so it wasn’t like the only reputation he had was one of excess.

Rey waited near the Starbird in the landing area and watched as shuttles sped around the massive city. Finn and Rose were doing some final checks and coordinating their mission from Maz, and though Rey’d normally sit in on their conversation, she was feeling antsy and had decided to check the exterior of the ship.

It had been a little while since she’d seen Ben in person and, though they’d kept in contact through comms and holos, she still felt anxious. Because, really, the last time she’d seen him in person, she’d still been able to lie to herself that she wasn’t in love with him and that he was just another employer. A super hot and sexy employer that had definitely had his head between her legs, but still.

_Hah… _she thought. It was almost funny, except that the last thing she wanted was for Ben to find out that she was in love with him and to ruin… whatever it was they had going on. Were they friends? Lovers? Somewhere between the two? Rey sighed and handed over the Starbird’s credentials as a spindly, metallic transit droid came along to check their landing.

Maz knew Lando, so they weren’t anticipating any problems during their time in Cloud City. Maz seemed to know almost everyone in the galaxy. Well, the people who were worth knowing, anyway. And while most people thought of her as a friend, she’d also been alive long enough to have at least some enemies, hence her problems lately with Crimson Dawn.

But who didn’t have a problem with that Syndicate? With the Empire gone, it wasn’t surprising that some would seek power in its absence. And while some joined politics, and others became pirates, some blended the two and worm their way into power with illicit means and influence—basically, blackmail and bribery.

It was more than Rey wanted to deal with, anyway. And considering she’d had her own issues with Crimson Dawn, the less they knew about her current whereabouts, the better. It wasn’t long after the droid checked their credentials that it was droning something about informing ‘Baron Calrissian’ about their arrival, and by ‘their,’ the droid meant Finn and Rose because Rey was on the floating city for another reason.

_Ben… _she thought longingly before she could stop herself. Oh, Gods. She was wistful, wasn’t she? She missed him when they were apart, didn’t she? Rey was so fucked for him, and yet, she couldn’t manage to feel completely bad about it. If things went the way they inevitably seemed to go, and it all got fucked up beyond belief, she’d just go back to living life the way she always had: alone.

Except she didn’t want to go back to that, not now when she’d started to experience what it felt like to have friends and what it felt like to be cared for. Could she go back to that lonely existence, now that she knew what it felt like to have people who wanted her around?

Rey sighed loudly. She had better things to think about right now, like how the hell she was going to make it through her assignment without punching that damn Aristo, Cirraen Lindet, right in the face when she inevitably got too handsy with Ben.

“Everything okay out here?” Finn asked, face peeking out from inside the Starbird. Rey jumped a little. Sometimes, she thought that man had the uncanniest ability to tell when she was feeling like shit, or just about to get herself into some major trouble. Not that he hadn’t saved her ass more than once, but it still made her wonder about him.

Finn had grown his hair out a bit, and it was pulled into tight, glossy locks that framed his handsome, dark brown face. He was wearing a similar shimmer to Rose, and the golden sheen made him look like he’d been marked with stardust.

Rey blinked up at her friend and let out a low whistle. “What are you and Rose doing, again, that you both have to be so dolled up?”

Finn snorted. “A compliment from you? I must look damn good,” he said with a wink and a bright smile.

He was dressed in a navy half-cape that was lined with glittering gold fabric, which sat just on his shoulders and was balanced in place by some feat of magic. His sunshine-yellow shirt gleamed and was tucked into dark pants that were _just a little _tight on his muscular legs. With gleaming cropped boots and his undeniable charm, Rey knew that he and Rose would be successful at whatever it was they needed to do.

She felt a little underdressed in her customary dark leather outfit, but she was here for business and they were here for… whatever it was Maz needed them to do. And, besides, if Ben wanted her in something else, he’d have already planned and told her, right?

Rey winked back at Finn. “Well, I have always said that you’d make one hell of an Aristo. You have the look, but you need to work on the attitude.”

Finn scrunched his face thoughtfully. “Think I can manage to be an insufferable, whiny asshole for a day. Might be a nice change of pace.”

“Yeah,” Rey drawled. “Normally, I’m the insufferable, whiny asshole on runs, so it’ll be good for the shoe to be on the other foot for once.”

Finn laughed. “And _look _at these shoes!” he said, modeling his boots.

“You look good! Like you truly belong here among the clouds.”

Finn tilted his chin and raised his brow. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with my friend, Rey?”

“What?” she blinked.

“I guess Rose was right…,” Finn murmured, but before Rey could ask him what he meant by that, Rose popped her head out and let Finn know that they needed to get going.

“You okay to finish up with docking, Rey? It’s mostly done. Just need to lock up.”

“Of course. You two go have fun… or whatever?”

Rose grinned. “Here’s hoping. And back at you. Say ‘hi’ to Ben for me, okay?”

“Me too,” Finn added as he gently tucked Rose into his side before starting on the long dock to the main building.

Where ever they were heading, it didn’t look like weapons were necessary. Unless they were being provided with a cache on arrival? Who knew? Not everything Maz had them working on needed weapons, just most. Rey had her trusty blaster attached to her thigh, not that this was in any way a surprise. Unless she felt entirely safe, she pretty much slept with her blaster.

Of course, her mind recalled the last time she’d felt safe enough not to sleep with her blaster. At Ben’s, she hadn’t even thought of it. Just stripped it off and not picked it up again till the next day. And she _never _did that. She had a routine, which meant she took her blaster off, cleaned it, then placed somewhere either on the bed or nearby, and then get on with the rest of whatever she needed to do before bed.

After the auction and the ensuing chaos, all she could think about was getting into bed. And then she did get into bed—with Ben. Okay, so it was a couch, but as the memories of _that _encounter returned, Rey studdered in her step a little. Given the lack of guardrails along the docking area, she needed to pay attention to her footing.

What was it about old architecture that they all collectively decided that guardrails were just not a necessary thing? What if someone fell? Or was pushed? And she was most definitely not hyper-focusing on something that wasn’t even remotely important while trying to keep herself from thinking about Ben.

But she had to think about him because she was supposed to be meeting him at his apartment. This one belonged to her uncle, he’d assured her when she’d been about to tease him during one of their chats.

“I don’t own property everywhere,” he’d said.

“Just most everywhere?” she quipped.

“Hmmm, now that you mention it. I was thinking about getting a little lake house.”

“Oh, have anywhere in mind?”

“Takodana,” he murmured, and at her shocked expression, he’d laughed. “Sorry, my turn to tease. We already have a lake house, anyway.”

“We?” Rey asked as she tried to recover. Of course, he wouldn’t want to have a place close to her; that would just be silly, right?

“My family has an estate on Naboo.”

Right, he had mentioned something about closets on Naboo. And well, it shouldn’t have surprised her, given that his family had ties to the planet.

“I remember you promising I could raid your closet,” she reminded him. “You still owe me a shirt.”

“Ahh, of course. Visit me, and you can take whatever you want,” he purred.

“And if I want to visit you on Naboo?” she prompted. It wasn’t like her to talk about the future, but some part of her had wanted to see what he’d say to the promise of something more between them.

“Then we’d better go in the summer. You’ve never seen a lake as beautiful as the one near Varykino.”

“Varykino?”

“The lake house. And the weather is warm in the summer, warm enough that clothes are entirely optional.”

“Entirely?”

“You know, I prefer to wear as little as possible. The estate is private enough to make this a reality. I’ll plan for it. You won’t be disappointed, I promise.”

Okay, so maybe she’d underestimated just how far he’d be willing to go on a private trip with her. And here, she’d been mostly teasing. But he’d looked so _happy _talking about the estate and being there with her, without clothes. How could she walk it back now?

Rey’d swallowed thickly and replied with a hoarse little, “Okay,” before the conversation had moved on to other things.

Now, she was on her way to see him again. Except, she was getting turned around once she got inside the cavernous building. She was supposed to find shuttles that would take her to the private residences, but either she’d taken a wrong turn or wasn’t paying attention and she ended up getting lost.

The floors gleamed so much that they dazzled her. Rey could only imagine how many droids it took to keep this place shining so bright. Though she had to admit, she did like the look of it all. The bright white aesthetic of the city made everything feel so fresh and open. Where a metallic sheen seemed to dominate most modern Republic cities, Bespin had chosen an artistic look and committed.

Rey checked her comms and saw that she’d missed a message from Ben. She was about to send him a message back—an SOS, really, when a familiar golden gleam caught her eye. Rey smiled as the sound of a particularly frazzled droid greeted her ears.

“3PO!” Rey exclaimed before jogging over. The droid was waiting near an expansive window that looked over the cloudy gas giant. The setting sun had cast the sky in brilliant pinks and reds that no one seemed to appreciate at all. Everyone was too busy being seen or going places to be seen. And, with the opera in the evening, it was likely that anyone worth seeing would be on the planet.

“Miss Rey!” exclaimed the droid, arms flailing as he saw her. “Master Ben will be most pleased that I’ve found you. We were just about to send out a search party. You were expected some time ago…” the droid went on and on, while Rey tried to apologize. But he seemed more interested in getting it all out, so she contented herself to listen to his woes while he quickly led her toward Ben’s place.

The droid led her down one great hallway after another before they ended up in front of a large silver door, with intricate scrollwork stood. She’d been closer than she thought, so the shuttle wouldn’t have been necessary, but more convenient.

_Must be Ben’s place… _Rey thought as she reached out and traced her hand over the pattern which seemed to show some warriors fighting a great beast—no, that wasn’t quite right. The beast was protecting someone? She’d have to ask Ben about it.

“You will have to excuse me, Miss Rey. I have other duties to attend to.”

“Oh, is Ben waiting?” she asked as the door to his private chambers slipped open, but whatever 3PO said back was entirely missed as Ben came into view.

He was pacing back and forth in a pristine white lounge, hand running through his hair as he moved. Ben looked stressed, and he didn’t normally look that way. Was he worried about her? He turned as she stepped into the room, and the relief and happiness at seeing her were obvious.

It warmed her heart more than she wanted to admit, but she was similarly impacted. He looked good. Like a canteen of cool water after a long day of scavenging from oven-hot star destroyers. He was dressed in a vibrant red tunic with matching pants, which was accented by a long, sleeveless cloak. Somehow, he reminded her of Leia in this outfit. His long hair was probably styled, but he’d managed to make a mess of it with his hands. This just made him more attractive as the messy, curly look _really _worked for him.

It reminded Rey of how he’d looked waking up beside her. And suddenly her thoughts and emotions shifted from elation to something else entirely. Ben must have picked up on the change because he practically stalked towards her, long legs closing the distance between them in seconds. He opened his arms and waited.

Without missing a beat, she launched herself against him as the door to the apartment slipped closed. Okay, so maybe she’d missed him more than she thought and maybe their frequent chats had made her anticipate this reconnection a bit more than she realized. Fortunately, Ben took it in stride, holding her close as she buried her face in his chest. His alluring scent made her feel a little drunk for him as the heat and strength of his body enveloped her.

“So, I guess I missed you,” she murmured against his chest.

“Good,” he replied before giving her a quick kiss on her brow.

“Good?”

“It’ll be much easier to do this if you’re as needy as I am right now,” he said, voice tight. It was then that she realized Ben was holding himself back, which meant that he’d been looking forward to this just as much, if not more than she had. Her arms slipped under the thick fabric of his cloak and wrapped around his muscular middle while his hands hitched over her shoulders.

They fit. Perfectly. And it wasn’t long before Rey wanted to do much more than hold him in her arms. This was new for her too, the heady and overwhelming feeling of desiring someone so much that even their proximity felt intoxicating. And when he touched her? Divine. Ben’s big hands gently rubbed into her shoulders as he held her, sending wonderful little shivers down her spine.

His hands dipped low, hitching right below the curve of her ass as he lifted. Rey’s legs wrapped around his middle, almost on their own as her hands slid up to hold around his neck. She didn’t need to ask what he was doing because it didn’t matter. She wanted what he wanted, which was to be as close to each other as possible.

Ben carried her the short distance across the room before settling into a long, sumptuous couch. Rey shifted her legs as she settled astride him, but before she could put her hands where she wanted them—under his clothes, against his skin, _inside his pants_—Ben’s hands reached out to gently hold hers behind her back.

“What are you doing?”

“‘I just want you to think of me today,’” sound familiar?” Ben cooed in a bad approximation of a Core accent—hers, apparently.

Rey’s cheeks flushed. Okay, so maybe that sounded a little familiar and maybe she did send him a semi-lewd holo of herself in bed. And maybe she’d underestimated his brief reply, “How could I not?”

At the time, she’d thought maybe she’d caught him in a bad moment, or maybe the holo wasn’t as alluring as she’d hoped, but it seemed that Ben had been stewing over it for a week or so, and was now enacting his revenge.

“I um… yes?” she replied, hesitantly. She wasn’t sure what his plan was here. It wasn’t like she was bothered by being restrained; she kind of liked it when Ben was the one doing the restraining. But it was a little frustrating when all she wanted to do was reach out and touch him. And he knew that and was using it to his advantage, the ass.

He leaned in, teeth grazing her neck as he murmured against her skin, “We don’t have much time, so I have to make this quick.”

“Make what quick?” she managed, her voice somewhere between a gasp and a moan as his lips sucked.

“Mmm, making sure you know every aching detail of what I’m going to do to you later.”

“What you’re going to do to me?” she repeated softly.

_As if that’s a punishment, _she thought snarkily. Ben grinned at her thoughts and her stomach dropped a little as she realized he was probably _much _better at this game than she was. Maybe she was in a little over her head here.

“Yes, Rey. You didn’t think I wouldn’t get you back for that holo, did you?” For a quick moment, Ben held her tight with one hand while the other came around to rearrange his cock in his pants. Knowing he was sitting there, hard for her, while she was held back on his lap, was maddening.

“Get me back for what? You have hands, Ben,” she gritted out as his uncanny power slipped through her—just a little, a soft shimmer around her nipples, a gentle pulse against her core.

“And what if I want to use that pretty mouth of yours instead?” he rasped. Though he sounded in control, his body betrayed him. His pale cheeks were flushed red and his broad chest was nearly panting. Oh, so this was torture for him too, was it?

Rey grinned. She liked the idea of that. Denial, release, heightening the tension between them until they both felt like they were going to break… just perfection. He seemed to understand that about her better than anyone. In her life, instances of joy and pleasure were far and few between, so it was better to indulge as fast as possible, or risk the chance that they would disappear before her eyes.

Here, with him, there was no fear of losing. And Ben, who had experienced much pleasure in his life, seemed to be master at drawing out the experience—heightening it depending on what the mood called for or what his partner needed. And he knew what she wanted because it was obvious that she wanted him.

Without her realizing it, Ben switched his power for his hands, meaning he was free to touch her as he spoke. He slipped a long finger down the line of her sternum as he told her how badly he wanted to trail along that path with his tongue.

As her heartbeat in her throat and her body thrummed with need, he told her how good she was, while a free hand curve over her ass, squeezing tightly before slipping up her back and into her hair.

“But I thought this was a punishment?” she barely managed as she leaned into his gentle touch. “For the holo?”

His fingers skimmed against her scalp and through her hair as he divulged, wickedly, “For me, maybe. It’s taking everything I’ve got not to lay you back on this couch and fuck you until you beg me to stop.”

Rey gasped a little at the vision he cast and his curse. And then her expression shifted into a devious smile. He might have had her on his lap and wrapped up with his power, but _she _was the one that had made him feel this way. So reckless and longing. Rey let her head roll back a little, exposing her neck to his rapt gaze.

“What makes you think I’ll be the one begging?” she teased.

“Oh, a challenge? I accept then, my faithful bodyguard. Assuming you’re able to protect me tonight, that is.”

Rey rolled her eyes with as much dignity as she could muster, pinned as she was by his power. “Of course, I’ll keep you safe.”

Ben grinned while guiding her head down, against her lips he breathed, “Ahh, but who will keep you safe from me?”

And as his lips met hers, all other thoughts fled from her mind. Spread wide on his lap, he entered her mind as his lips devoured, filling her head with all the wicked things he intended to do to her later. The evening hadn’t yet started; she had her duties, and he had his.

But the nighttime? The nighttime would be theirs.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I think I can post this on FFnet with minimal edits, WHAT A RELIEF. Won’t be able to say the same about the next chapter lol. Thanks for reading! Actually been working on this and some other things, so shouldn’t be quite so long for the next chapter—A p smutty Reylo Saturnalia AU that’s set in my [Roman AU storyverse](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10556486/chapters/23318860). It’s almost complete (like 15k), so I’ll post it when I’m done (I’ve been playing Hades a LOT, so I kind of got inspired lol I also wanted to write something Halloweeny, but I couldn't find any Roman holidays that would work, but Saturnalia kind of fits).

When Rey realizes that she’s in love with Ben, he’s wearing a [version of this outfit](https://wwd.com/fashion-news/shows-reviews/gallery/balmain-mens-spring-1203196935/balmain-mens-spring-2020-103/) (different color, obvs), because Balmain never lets me down. Rose is similarly channeling Leia, but a more [dressed up version of this](https://www.flickr.com/photos/carrie_fisher/3024738266). Finn is obvs drawing from the amazing Lando ([this look](https://rpggamer.org/page.php?page=4289)), and I had some fun with clothes this chapter lol.

“Like you truly belong here among the clouds” paraphrased from the amazing Lando Calrissian in ESB, and when Rey walks into Ben’s place on Bespin, he’s literally channeling his mom’s look from ESB ([most of the google images are toys,](https://www.bigbadtoystore.com/Product/VariationDetails/80879) but you get the idea).

Things will be getting a lil more serious as it all picks up toward the end, but just a reminder that happy endings are the only thing I presently have time for lol. Cheers!

Thanks for all of your support and for reading. Means the world to me 😊 Hope you all are doing ok! Take care and stay safe!

* * *

**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend, ** **or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading!**

**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom** [@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) **but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media for 2020 :) (and I'm actually doing better at this YAY lol)**


	19. But I Have It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their interlude on the couch, Ben helps Rey dress for the opera, and leads her into a night that's sure to have many surprises.

“How long do we have till you need to be at the opera house?” Rey asked, still in Ben’s lap, and reluctant to leave it.

“Three hours. Which is just barely enough time to get you ready.”

“What do you mean, ‘ready’? I am ready!”

An indulgent smile worked its way onto Ben’s face, and Rey knew she was going to hate whatever he planned on saying next.

“You won’t get in through the front door in your leathers,” he said softly. “No matter how charming I find them. There’s a dress code,” he finished. As if Rey gave a shit about dress codes.

“I’m your bodyguard. Cirraen is the one who’s going to be there on a date,” she replied, glumly. So, apparently, she wasn’t quite over that whole ‘date’ thing and maybe still wanted to punch the rude Aristo from the auction in the face.

Rey was doing her best not to be jealous but was failing miserably. Ben, either sensing her mood or upset about the situation himself, reached out and gently cupped her cheek. “It’s not a date, and I’m not entirely certain she’s going to be with me.”

“What do you mean?”

Ben shrugged. “We set everything up with her people, only to find out she’ll be arriving with someone else.”

“Any idea who?”

“Mystery guest who’s more important than I am, apparently.”

Rey frowned. She didn’t like this change of events and hadn’t prepped for it. She’d expected to be doing bodyguard work for Ben and Cirraen, and now it was Ben, Cirraen, and someone else? Or was it just Ben? Would Cirraen bring her own guard?

Ben gently pinched Rey’s cheek as her mind circled through all possible outcomes. “It’s fine. My uncle has security stationed throughout the city, so we don’t need to worry about any of that.”

_Reading my thoughts again?_

_They are very loud, _Ben sent back before leaning in to place a soft kiss on her lips.

“Fine,” she conceded. Sometimes, her thoughts were loud to even her, so it didn’t really surprise her that Ben had an easy time making them out. Even Maz seemed to be able to read Rey’s mood through her facial expressions alone.

“C’mon, 3PO and I have everything ready for you.”

“I’m not _that_ hopeless,” she griped as she shifted off of his lap and stood. Rey helped Ben up, and soon he was tugging her through the monochromatic apartment. Aside from the wide windows that let in the waning light of Bespin, everything was so white that it almost hurt her eyes.

“This room’s attached to mine,” he said before pressing a panel to open the door.

With a soft hiss, the door retreated into the wall, while Ben led Rey inside. It was more like a dressing room than an actual bedroom. More white furniture, several large mirrors, what looked to be a walk-in closet, and a huge ‘fresher rounded out the room.

“Great, let’s get started,” Ben said while gesturing towards a hover-chair.

“You’re going to do my hair?” Rey asked.

“Among other things. 3PO will help, right 3PO?”

“Of course, Master Ben,” the droid called from somewhere in the closet.

As soon as Rey settled in the chair, Ben met her gaze through the mirror and gave her a quick wink. “Don’t worry, I’m very good at this.”

And he was. So was 3PO, actually. She had to hand it to them, she hardly recognized the woman who stood in the mirror. Her long hair was coiled and cascaded over the curve of her shoulder but was still away from her face. And Ben had styled it. He was so good at working with her hair, she had half a mind to tell him that maybe he should employ her full time, just so he could play with her hair more regularly.

“All you have to do is call, and I’ll be there,” Ben cooed in her ear before he set the look with some hairspray. A thin braid coiled around the length of one of her curls, and Ben had attached a little jewel at the end—violet, of course.

Rey tugged on the little bauble. “Any meaning?”

“Only that you’re mine,” he beamed at her through the mirror.

“Really?”

“Something like that. Might get me in a bit of trouble with my mother, but she’s on Hosnian Prime, so I don’t need to worry about her.”

“Trouble with Senator Organa? What kind of trouble? Is this some sort of political thing?”

Ben’s eyebrow quirked as he stared at her through the mirror. “No.”

“Well, what does it mean, then?”

“It’s a secret.”

Rey huffed. “You’re the worst, Solo.”

“Of course, but I’m also the _best_ in so many other ways, aren’t I?”

She wasn’t going to open her mouth to refute that, because he was right and he’d know she was lying, so Rey just reached for her makeup and ignored the handsome, frustrating Aristo. Ben eventually excused himself to start his own preparations, leaving Rey alone to tend to her face.

Fortunately, Finn and Rose had been working with Rey, so she managed to perk up her face enough to pass for someone who normally wore makeup. As Rey worked on her face, she realized that the color of her hair looked different—darker, closer to Ben’s. She realized that he must have used some sort of temporary coloring. She had to admit, she liked the look.

The ruby-colored dress Ben gave her was unfortunately long, but a slit ran along the length of the skirt, so Rey would be able to hide and access her holster easily. The dress was covered in a fine, beaded fabric that reached up to her neck and down to her wrists. A sweetheart bodice peeked out from beneath. A gold belt cinched the fabric at her waist and was tighter than Rey was used to wearing, but she decided she liked the look.

Ben knew her well enough to realize that she’d hate wearing heels. Instead, a soft pair of black leather boots were aside for her. They were whisper-soft against her skin, stopped mid-calf, and were wide enough to fit a ‘blade along the side, which she did.

“Where d’you get the dress?” she called from the guest _suite _as she admired herself_—_if it could be called that, the room was bigger than anything she’d ever lived in.

“It’s custom,” Ben answered from the door, surprising Rey. She spun on her heel to face him and did a double-take. “I took the liberty of having it made once the confirmations were complete.”

_Gods, he looks sinful... Perfect look for a night at the Bespin Opera house._

He was completely covered and dressed in black and white, not that it did anything to mute the blatant and overwhelming sexuality he always seemed to exude. He looked like a _prince, _and Rey remembered that _he was._

_Some people would kill to be where you are right now, _she thought before standing up a little straighter. She was strangely happy to be there with Ben at that moment, even if it meant she’d have to put up with Cirraen later. It was worth it just to see him.

Remembering the scant manners that Maz had managed to bully into her, Rey said, “You look stunning.”

Ben’s lips quirked as he strode forward and the full force of his scent hit her like a brick. Rey’s breath caught in her throat as she tried and _failed _not to think about how addicted she’d become to that scent and how much she enjoyed the way he smelled when he was pressed against her.

_Hard._

_Writhing._

That cloying perfume mixing with the scent of their desire.

_Fuck! _Rey cursed internally. Ben was going to read her thoughts and know _everything. _Not that she was embarrassed, but it definitely put her at a disadvantage. Fortunately, he seemed as wrapped up in her presence as she was with his.

But, _Gods, _she wanted him. Especially after his wicked words and the sweet temptation he’d offered as she’d sat astride his lap. They were going to be in public. At the opera, even. How much trouble could she get in when they were both in _public?_

Ben’s lips widened into a grin, finally responding to her thoughts. His expression told her, if she so desired, they could get into a _great deal _of trouble in public.

_A custom dress... I guess he’s had his hands on me enough to be able to figure out my measurements, _Rey sighed as she tried to focus her attention anywhere but on the thought of him, which was impossible considering he was standing right in front of her.

He wore a swirling-patterned jacket that hung off his shoulders with matching trousers, which contrasted with a black and white shirt that did _nothing _to disguise how broad he was. A wide, ribbed leather belt crossed his waist and Rey had the most irrational urge to reach out and _touch it. _Which she resisted, just barely. His black loafers clicked against the tile as he moved closer, gloved hands curled at his sides as if he was resisting reaching out and touching her_, _too_._

The web-like detailing of her dress contrasted wonderfully with the strange stripes and swirls of his. She had to admit, they looked good together.

“You look divine,” he assured her. “I’d love the chance to see you in dresses more often. Though, I am fond of the look of your ass in leather.”

Rey rolled her eyes and shifted to look at her outfit in the mirror again, but Ben surprised her by reaching out and gently pulling her close. His eyes locked with hers as he stared down at her.

“What?” she said, swallowing thickly; this close, it was hard to ignore how handsome he was and how much she wanted him.

“I... Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asked her, and it was almost awkward, as if he was having a hard time finding the right words to say to her, which was so unlike him.

“You don’t have to flatter me, Ben,” she replied, as a sad smile fell into place. “I know what I am.”

_Desert rat. Scavenger. Smuggler. Nothing._

But Ben shook his head, the long length of his jeweled dark hair dipping into his kohl-rimmed eyes.

“No. Not only on the outside,” he said, his fingers traveling down her collar before settling over her sternum. “Here. You bewitch me like some Dathomirian spell. I have the strongest urge to see you spread out naked on my bed, but I spent so much time with your hair that I’m going to have to wait for it. And Rey?”

“Hmm?” she softly breathed, entranced by his words and touch.

“I am not a patient man.”

She could feel how badly he wanted her. For a moment, she could see how exactly. He didn’t even have to ruin her look. Just quickly shift her skirt out of the way so he could wedge himself between her strong legs. Another quick motion to free himself, the rough swipe of his fingers to move her underthings out of the way and then… and then…

Ben chuckled softly before pressing a tight kiss to her neck. “Oh, not _that _impatient. But maybe, if you tease me…,” his words trailed off.

Rey nibbled her lips, which were already flushed red from her makeup. She _did _want to tease him, but she also wanted to see what he had planned for their first time. Her stomach did a little flip at that—_their first time. _Rey never thought she’d end up somewhere like this. Working for Maz had seemed like enough of a blessing. But being wrapped up in the arms of an Aristo—of _Ben Solo? _Who not only wanted her but seemed to care for and cherish her? It was enough to melt even her icy heart.

“Let’s go. Or you’re going to be late, but maybe that’s what you want?” she joked.

Ben gave her another tight squeeze. “You _have _been paying attention. What’s the point of making an entrance without an audience? Better to be late and have _everyone _notice your arrival and, besides, Cirraen won’t be ready for at least another hour or so.”

Rey sighed as she remembered the nasty woman. For a moment, she’d almost tricked herself into believing that _she _was the one going to the opera with Ben, and not as his security, either. Stepping out of his arms, she tested out the weight of her dress. She could fight in this thing, if she had to, though it wasn’t the most practical outfit for her to be wearing.

Still, she liked it, and for a moment, she pretended that it was _hers _and this night was more than a moment in time that would ripple and fade into the past as soon as it was over. Just for a moment, she would believe that she was worthy of more.

“It doesn’t have to just be a moment,” he said softly as his arms tightened around her.

“Promise?” she whispered. She shouldn’t have said such a fanciful thing, but she couldn’t stop herself and didn’t want to.

“Promise to make you wonder why you bother leaving my side at all? Absolutely,” he teased, but when he saw her crestfallen look, he added, “You have but to ask. But for my part, I’m not going to be letting you go any time soon if I can manage it.”

“Is that right?” she asked, rebounding a little. Maybe it was silly, and maybe she was stupid for hoping for more moments beyond this, but she did. Hope was a dangerous thing for a woman like Rey. Hope made her weak. But it also opened her up to so much more and didn’t she deserve it after the life she’d lived? Didn’t she deserve Ben’s love and regard?

Ben gave her a tight hug and pressed a soft kiss into her cheek before noting, “You missed something.”

He shifted and Rey noticed the little compact in his hand. Popping it open in front of her, Rey recognized the velvety little faux beauty marks from her time on Coruscant, back when she was guarding Leia for Maz.

It felt like so much had changed since then. Ben dipped his long finger into the compact and plucked up a small, black circle. “Smile,” he instructed, so Rey did. His finger pressed into her cheek, right where his own mark was on his face.

“Perfect, now you _really _look like you belong to me.”

“What does it mean?”

“Aside from what I just said? It’s honoring one of my grandmothers. After she passed on, it became the fashion on Naboo to wear styles similar to what she’d favored or little facial embellishments to show respect to her memory.”

Ben was pretty sparing when it came to details about his family’s past, so Rey was happy to hear him talk about it now. Hopefully, one day, he’d open up about his family a little more, but the last thing she wanted was to push him into talking about things that made him unhappy. Family was complicated, she knew that first hand. To her, bloodlines didn’t matter. What mattered was being there for someone when they were in need, family or not.

Increasingly, family for Rey was becoming the people she managed not to scare away—Finn, Rose, even Maz. _And Ben. _She’d always felt like too much, like her past and present pushed people away and made her hard to relate to. She’d lived so long on her own, and it was hard to open up and trust people to be there when she got back.

That kind of trust had almost gotten her killed on Jakku, so it had been easier to keep to herself and not rely on others. Anticipating betrayal kept her safe, waiting for someone to pull the rug out from under her did not. But now… She was learning to trust again, thanks to her friends and Ben. It was a comforting feeling and one she hoped they shared with her.

“That’s really lovely,” Rey commented while gently poking at the fake beauty mark. “Almost looks like it belongs there.”

Ben reached out and gently gathered Rey against his body once more. “It _does _belong there because you belong here,” he said.

Rey’s cheeks flushed at that quiet admission, but instead of feeling uncomfortable, it just made her feel right. She quickly turned her head and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

“We should get going, shouldn’t we?” she suggested, though it was the last thing she wanted to do. These slow moments alone with Ben were filling out the cracks in her heart, seeping in and warming her with the knowledge that there was at least one place in the galaxy that she did belong.

Ben gently rubbed his nose into her neck. “If we must.”

Rey chuckled. “Well, I’m not the one that agreed to be auctioned off, so the only reason we’re going is because you’re obligated.”

“Ahh, the high price of being indebted to a friend,” he sighed.

“That’s how they getcha. Better to be like me and have no friends.”

“Mmm, and here I’d thought I was counted among the lucky few that could call you a friend?”

“Are we only friends?” Rey wondered. “I mean, I don’t generally roll around naked with my ‘friends.’”

“Duly noted. Lovers?”

“I was going to say, employer to employee with perks, but I’ll take lovers.”

“You know, you’d have more friends if you just opened up and let people in,” he chided.

“Says the man who’s notorious for flings. Speak for yourself. And besides, I’m planning on ‘letting you in’ later,” she purred.

“Touché. And I am _so_ looking forward to that.” Ben's arms tightened around her shoulders as he held her in a tight hug. “I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me.”

And that was it, wasn’t it? How he’d managed to get into her heart. Ben gave and gave and gave so much that Rey sometimes wondered what he kept of himself. Was she worthy of his regard? He seemed to think so. Rey reached up and gently squeezed his arm as she decided that if he thought so, then she was good enough. Perhaps it was time she gave more of herself. Really, though, she wanted to.

For the first time in her life, she wanted to give more of herself to someone else. It was scary, and she still had to resist the little voice inside of her that couldn’t help but tell her, repeatedly, that she would regret it. But she decided, even if she did regret it, it would be worth taking a chance on—that Ben was more than worth it. Maybe that’s what love was, two people taking a chance on each other? She liked the thought of that.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Ben said, interrupting her thoughts before he pulled away. “There’s something else I wanted to give you.”

Ben crossed over to a dresser in the corner and pulled out a small box.

“What’s this?” she asked while trailing him.

“Open it,” he replied, passing it over.

Rey took the little velvet box and opened it with a _snap. _Inside were two things, a small, dark mask that perfectly matched the striking red of her dress, and a delicate, glittering chain.

“Do you like them?” Ben asked. His anticipation, and a little anxiety, was rolling off of him as he waited for her to say something.

“They’re lovely, what are they for?”

Ben let out a little breath. “Well, the mask is to keep the press off of your tail, but the bracelet is a gift.”

“I thought I’d be walking in after you?”

“Absolutely not,” Ben balked. “In that dress? With that makeup? And my mark? You’re coming with me.”

Rey scrunched her face a little. “But isn’t that a bad idea?”

Ben shrugged. “Who knows what life will bring next? I’d rather regret something I _did _do, than something I didn’t. And besides, I have a mask, too. We’ll match. It’ll be cute and definitely start a fashion trend.”

“Spoken like a true Aristo,” Rey teased. “I’m glad you thought of the mask. Probably should have worn a helmet to the auction too, now that I think about it.”

Fortunately, no one really seemed to give much of a shit about the help at that event. Rey couldn’t imagine the same could be said for something like this.

“I promise there’s a difference between going to an event as my bodyguard and going to an event as my date.”

“I’m your date? I thought Cirraen was…?”

“She’s not arriving with me, remember? You are. And if she’s going to play games, so am I. And, besides, I’ve been wanting to take you out with me for a while. Might as well seize the moment.”

This was a little more reckless than Ben was known for being, but who was she to criticize when she ran spice for a living? Maybe he just wanted to make sure that the celebrity gossips didn’t get a hold of _that _piece of information, hence the mask?

"Or maybe I just know how unrelenting they can be and would rather keep that from happening to you, if I can?" he offered.

“Oh, this is a learned experience thing, isn’t it?”

“Definitely.”

“And with your other relationships?”

“Let’s just say, my adoring public and the press have always been a strain on my relationships. But I’m learning to put up some boundaries—with your help, actually.”

“Because you’re a person and don’t owe them shit?” Rey beamed before passing back Ben’s gift. “Give me a hand?”

Ben laughed softly. “Wouldn’t quite put it like that, but yes. And, of course, turn around for me.”

Rey turned, and Ben couldn’t resist trailing his fingers over the exposed skin of her back, softly running along the curve of her spine before reaching in front of her head with the mask.

“It’s got an adhesive—don’t worry. It’s tech, so it won’t ruin your makeup.”

“I mean, that’s the last thing I’d worry about,” Rey said with a laugh. “And the ribbon?”

“Mostly for decoration,” he replied before leaning in to murmur, “and something fun for me to pull off of you later.”

With the mask on, Rey turned and looked at herself in the mirror. She had to admit, she was practically unrecognizable with the mask and her hair as dark as it was. Ben smiled from over her shoulder, then trailed his fingers down the length of her arm before gently grabbing her wrist. The jewel-encrusted bauble shined between them, glittering like starlight.

“It’s beautiful, thank you,” Rey said as he gently clasped the bracelet around her wrist. “Doesn’t really go with my whole gun and leather look, but I’ll make it work.”

“Figured I could give you a little something for all you’ve done for me recently. Not many people would be willing to take a blaster shot for me,” he said softly. “You look beautiful, Rey. Truly.”

Rey wasn’t used to accepting compliments, so she did what she did best and deflected. “And we’re going to be more than fashionably late if we don’t get going.”

“You’re probably right,” Ben replied before placing a soft kiss on her cheek. “Let’s go. My Uncle’s arranged a shuttle for us.”

After they finished up, Ben led Rey down a quiet access tunnel that took them to the docking bay. A black, Lambda-class T-4a shuttle was waiting for them.

Rey let out a low whistle. “Imperial?”

“Scavenged,” Ben admitted with a wink. “Uncle’s always been a fan of collecting airships.”

Inside, the former Imperial vessel was retrofitted for comfort. At least, that’s what Rey assumed considering there were several plush benches, a fresher, and a small bar, among other amenities, to use while onboard. While the Empire was known for its dark aesthetic, comfort wasn’t something they’d prioritized, at least if the insides of their downed vessels on Jakku were anything to go by.

Ben sat and commed the pilot, and Rey settled in beside him on a plush bench. They were quiet during the chauffeured shuttle ride over to the opera house and, after helping Ben slip on his own mask, Rey took the time to focus her thoughts and work out a game plan.

She’d studied the specs for the opera house so, if needed, they’d have an acceptable escape route, but she worried about the masses of people. There was only one of her, and if someone wanted to get to Ben, it’d be hard to keep that from happening.

Still, for once in her life, her gut was telling her to sit back and enjoy the moment, but as they pulled up to the entrance and Rey and Ben made their way to the boarding ramp, she couldn’t contain her worry. Ben reached over and gave her hand a quick squeeze as the hydraulics hissed and the ramp slowly descended.

A dizzying array of flashes and incessant shouting greeted them as the press fought to see _the _Ben Solo and, by extension, _her. _She realized quickly that she hadn’t quite fully understood what it would be like to be on the arm of one of the most eligible bachelors in the galaxy.

_This is... a thing, _she managed to think as Ben stepped out before turning back to help her down the long ramp.

“Watch your skirt, Rey,” he murmured, and Rey’s hand flashed down to hold the fabric in place. The _last _thing she wanted was to show her blaster to all of Bespin.

Rey took a steadying breath as Ben threaded her arm with his. With the black mask on, he was a little fearsome, honestly. But his warm, brown eyes stared down at her as his lips curved into a comforting smile.

“Ready, sweetness?” he asked.

“No, but let’s get this over with, shall we?” Rey replied. And with that, Ben led her along the glittering carpet and into the wild night.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Hope is a dangerous thing… is paraphrased from the Lana Del Rey song because they always seem to fit so nicely when I’m writing and I’d originally thought about titling this story after that song 😊 Been doing a lot of writing lately (yay) and trying to keep my wrists from dying (not yay lol), so the next chapter should be up sooner rather than later. Going to have to up the chapter count a bit. I’m sorry, I swear I’m not doing this on purpose, I just wanna tell the story as it is in my head and I get that can kind of be frustrating for people to see, but it is an estimate lol. I’m gonna say like 25/6? (that’s what I have plotted out, anyway). There are a few more things I want to do, but I’m going to try to get this done asap because I want it done because I hate making people wait (I'm working on it and other things for Nano). Makes me feel anxious having unfinished business. Also, this chapter takes me over 100k words which LOLLLLLLLLLL I'm so sorry. Thanks for sticking with me and for all of your lovely comments and support. Means the world to me.

**Also have a little interlude for my Reylo Roman AU.** **Wrote a Saturnalia-themed story featuring Rey and Kylo for Halloweeny-October writing stuff. If you're interested in reading more, [here's the link](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27288421).**

ALSO, good job getting though (most) of the week. It's been a rollercoaster in more than a few places in the world. Big hugs. Love to you all! 

* * *

**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend,** **or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading!**

**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom [@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media for 2020 :) (and I'm actually doing better at this YAY lol)**


	20. In Between Breaths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an uncomfortable reunion with Cirraen and her notorious guest, Ben leaves to grab drinks, only to find that some Aristos are making Rey their next target, and what he does next will have all the gossip holos talking. Later, and safe within their private box, Ben uses his talented hands to show Rey just how much she means to him.

* * *

Aside from the flashes, and the yelling for their attention, and the indecent questions, and the lingering glares from other Aristos who were obviously wondering who Ben was with_, _it was fine.

Fortunately, there wasn’t a formal reception line like at the auction, so Ben basically waved and laughed off questions while Rey tried not to fidget underneath the intense scrutiny. At least, being a nobody from nowhere, it wasn’t like they’d be able to find out much about her if they went digging.

She didn’t even have a family name, for one thing. And Maz was good about privacy. No, despite what Ben thought, it wasn’t really the gossips she had to worry about, it was the Syndicates. _They _had the means to track people down and make them disappear, but it wasn’t like Ben had anything to do with them. His issues were purely Aristo related, right?

Rey reached up self-consciously to make sure her mask was still in place—it was. Ben looked over at her and gave her a smile, his handsome face mostly obscured by his dark mask. Set against his pale skin, the mask made him look even more wicked, which was probably what he wanted. Even masked, Ben was easy to pick out in the crowd, and people called his name and vied for attention as he passed by.

By the time they made it up the long staircase and into the brightly lit corridor of the opera house, Rey was pretty much done with the whole spectacle. “How do you deal with this shit all the time?” she muttered.

Ben shrugged. “It’s something I’ve had to deal with for most of my life. They never let up. As I got older, the target on my back got bigger, so…,” he trailed off and smiled.

“You leaned into it?” Rey finished for him.

“Exactly. They think they know me because I’m always in the gossip holos, but that’s not true. If anything, no one does.”

Rey gently squeezed his hand. “But I do.”

“Ahh, you are the exception to every rule I’ve ever made, aren’t you?” he said, returning the gesture as he led her along.

“Since when do you have any rules?”

“I have_ so_ many rules. They’re just not something people consider when they think of me.”

“Oh, yeah? Name one,” she baited.

Ben leaned in close, purposefully ignoring the attention they were both drawing. “First of all, I have rules about getting involved with beautiful smugglers.”

“Is that right?”

“That’s right.”

“So, what are you doing now, then?”

Ben’s lip quirked. “Well, I don’t have any rules about _falling_ for smugglers, so I’m adjusting it.”

Rey laughed softly. “I guess rules were made to be broken?”

Ben reached up and gently brushed his fingers along her jaw. “Just so. C’mon, let’s go find Cirraen and get that whole business over with.”

Rey meant to ask him why Cirraen had bothered spending so much at the auction to win a date with him, if she was just going to arrive with someone else, but she guessed it didn’t really matter. Aristos were all about playing games, and Cirraen struck her as the kind of sentient that was constantly pulling at strings to see which threads would unravel.

It was probably meant to upset Ben, but it seemed to be having the opposite effect. Still, it was disconcerting to consider what Cirraen might be cooking up, and she considered just how much trouble one Aristo could bring into their lives while Ben led the way.

The interior of the opera house was the same sort of opulence the Aristos all seemed to favor—gilded accents, glittering lights that dripped with ropes of crystalline embellishments, and plush carpets that would be nearly impossible to walk in if she were wearing heels. But that just set the scene. The real fun was people watching.

And the Aristos had dressed to impress, mostly. Some were barely clothed, but Rey thought that was a fashion statement in its own way. And Ben had been right, people _were_ commenting on their masks. She wouldn’t be surprised to see similar looks pop up in the holos in the coming days.

“You’re a trendsetter,” Ben teased, reading her thoughts.

“I’m just floating along in all of this,” she replied. “It’s all too…”

“Strange to be real?” She could hear the smile in his voice. Though she realized Ben’s life was complicated, it was nice to see that there were parts of it all that Ben liked too. And he _did _seem to enjoy being at the center of attention. Well, when it was his idea, anyway.

Rey peered around covertly, telling herself that she was just checking for exits and possible threats, when her eyes were really being drawn to the spectacle. There were even a few celebs that she recognized from Galaxy Glitter’s blasts and as she and Ben passed by, their eyes were drawn to him—and her. It was weird to be the center of attention of the people she normally snooped on. On instinct, Rey reached up and threaded her arm with Ben’s, while he gently tucked her into his side.

It was comforting being near him, even in this place.

“It’s less lonely with you at my side,” Ben confided.

“I bet you say that to all the sentients,” Rey deflected. Her cheeks felt warm, and she was grateful that her mask was covering her embarrassment. She _should _have just thanked him for the compliment, but old self-deprecating habits were hard to break.

“You’re the only one who’s ever made me feel this way,” he replied, and she knew he meant it.

Rey looked up at him. His full lips were parted as if he wanted to say more, but someone else had caught his attention. His mouth closed into a tight line, lips rolling in slightly as his annoyance manifested before quickly disappearing as a forced smile took its place.

_Cirraen, _Rey guessed, only to turn and have her suspicions confirmed. But she wasn’t alone. A man stood with her, slightly shorter than she, and dressed up nearly as fine. Layers of fluttering silks dipped and swooped over his chest and were confined by the high waist of his jet-black trousers. His oversized coat dripped over his body, disguising his shape, though Cirraen had wrapped her long fingers in the plush fabric and was holding tight.

Cirraen was even more audaciously dressed than she’d been at the auction, if that was possible. Her dress looked like deadly flowers were growing out of the shape, which spread out over her breasts in a severe V-shape. The skirt just barely covered her ass, and intricate, vine-like embellishments curled and waved over the edges.

Holographic enhancements shuddered with her movement, creating an ethereal effect with every breath she took. Multicolored whorls overlaid atop the body of the dress matched the tattooed pattern on her face.

Her hair was pulled into a severe ponytail and colored dark purple. It matched the swirling colors of her micro-dress perfectly. Creamy stockings ran down the length of her long legs, held up by silky straps that disappeared underneath the scant skirt. Equally flashy makeup, set against her pale blue skin, finished off her look.

Rey hated to admit it, but Cirraen did look good. Though, with enough time, money, and resources, she supposed that _anyone _could look beautiful. Cirraen, for her part, only acknowledged Ben, coming close to give him two air kisses, while carefully avoiding his mask.

“Allow me to introduce Sil Aventa,” Cirraen purred while returning to her guest. Telling from the look on her face, she clearly thought she’d won some Aristo game. She’d arrived with someone even more notorious than Ben, if the looks from the room were anything to go by.

Rey thought the name sounded familiar, but assumed it was because she’d scanned over it in one of Galaxy Glitter’s blasts. But as the man reached out his hand and spoke, she realized her mistake. He was _no _Aristo. His black eyes flashed as he stared at Ben, thin lips curving into a cruel smile on his icy-pale face.

“Oh, Ben and I have already had the pleasure,” his voice rasped. Ben reached out and returned the shake, the dark fabric of his gloves contrasting with the strikingly pale skin of the man before him.

“Always a pleasure, Sil,” Ben said, though he sounded a little stilted.

Sil’s lips almost smiled. “Is it?” but before Ben could say anything to that, Sil’s attention had shifted to Rey. “And who’s this?”

“Reina. My date for the evening.”

“And here I thought I already knew anyone worth knowing who runs in your circles. Charmed, Reina,” the man said, again reaching his hand out.

Rey took it, expecting him to give her the same sort of lingering handshake that he’d given Ben, but he stepped back with a slight flourish and dipped his head before placing a soft kiss on the back of her hand. Ben had kissed her hand the first time they met, but this was nothing like that memory.

Sil’s hand was hard and cold against her own, but his lips were ember-hot. A shiver ran through her, something that felt strangely akin to… But no. It wasn’t the same as when Ben reached out to her with his power. Still, there was something strange and worrisome about Sil.

“It’s lovely to make your acquaintance,” she managed. It wasn’t. Every instinct she had told her to get away from this man as fast as she could, but here she was, trapped in some bullshit because of a vapid Aristo.

Cirraen clearly had no sort of awareness or self-preservation instincts if she thought coming with _this _man was a good idea. Finally, he released her hand and slipped back beside Cirraen, who was prattling on about something to Ben—making excuses about the auction date from the sounds of it. Rey barely listened as she tried to study Sil.

He was wiry, but Rey could tell there was real strength hidden beneath the layers of his clothes. He had a hungry look about him and one she was used to recognizing. She’d had that same look on Jakku, as had many others. This was a man who’d clawed his way to the top of…society? No, his sharp features, the look in his eyes, and the impressive scar that ran down the length of his chin spoke to a dark past.

As if noting her gaze, his hand ran along that gash—not from a blaster. No, looked like a vibroblade scar. So, he liked close contact fighting? The fact that he had a blaster on his hip suggested otherwise, but Rey had a hidden vibroblade on her leg, so maybe he’d similarly stuffed a blade into his high boots.

A golden belt slung low on his hips disappeared beneath the thick fabric of his overcoat and was doing a pretty piss-poor job of disguising the fact that he was carrying. This man was no Aristo, though he may dress like one. There was an edge to him, barely concealed beneath the veneer of civility.

_One wrong move, and this man will go off like a thermal detonator, _Rey thought.

Curiously, he seemed to note her assessment. His head tipped to the side, long brown hair sweeping over his shoulder as an unsettling smile slipped into place. He’d be handsome, but there was something off about him. His eyes moved over her like he was searching for weaknesses and, having found none, was looking for other ways to pull her apart.

She didn’t like this man and, as Ben shifted at her side, arm slowly wrapping around her middle as he pulled her closer, she realized that Ben was in agreement.

_Syndicate? _she wondered, and a soft squeeze against her hip told her everything she needed to know. Rey plastered on a smile and pretended to be as airheaded possible. Nothing good would come of drawing this man’s interest.

“….And anyway, Sil was only going to be on Bespin for tonight, so I just _had _to take him along, you know? And, besides, I got what I wanted out of this.”

Rey wasn’t sure that Cirraen should have said the last part out loud, but her meaning was clear—she wanted the attention from the auction and wanted to keep anyone else from getting it, which meant having the winning bid. She, like so many others, only saw Ben as a means to an end. There was no real regard or affection there, just her own self-interest.

“Now, come along, Ben. I need some photographs, and then you can go back to your… whoever she is.”

It was the first time Cirraen had acknowledge Rey’s presence, and hopefully it’d be the last time she’d see her this evening.

Ben flashed Rey a concerned look. “I’d rather not leave my date, Cirraen.” He didn’t say ‘with _him,_’ but his meaning was clear enough.

Sil grinned. “Don’t worry, Ben. I’ll take good care of her.”

“That’s exactly what I’m worried about,” Ben replied. He’d obviously meant for it to sound lighthearted, but Rey recognized the danger here. She’d have to watch what she said with this man.

“I’ll be fine. You fulfil your obligations and I’ll be waiting here,” Rey assured him. As much as she’d rather stay with Ben, she could handle herself.

Cirraen fluttered her hand, long, iridescent nails flashing in the light as she shooed Ben along. Something must have shown in Rey’s eyes because as soon as she and Ben left, Sil commented, “Being around her is torturous, isn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Rey replied. “We’ve only met twice.”

“Trust me,” Sil said with a laugh. “There are Aristos, and then there’s Cirraen. But you… you’re not like them.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Rey chirped.

“Good, it was meant to be one. Still, they are useful.”

“Who? Aristos?”

“Everyone has their purpose in the galaxy, don’t you think?”

Rey shrugged. She wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but she’d try to keep it as impersonal as possible, and abstract thoughts about the galaxy were as impersonal as it could get. “All feels kind of purposeless, if you ask me.”

“Maybe you just haven’t found your true purpose yet?” he suggested before stepping closer to where she waited. Though every part of her wanted to take a step back, she knew that was what he wanted. Rey stood her ground.

His scent reminded her of the Aristo parties on Cantonica—sharp, spiced, dangerous. She looked up into his fathomless, dark eyes as he stared openly at her, expression neutral while he took every bit of her in.

“Pity about the mask. I’d love to see your face.”

Rey ducked her head as she plastered on a smile, hoping it looked bashful enough. “I’m sure you’d be disappointed.”

“Oh, I doubt that very much; _Reina_, was it?”

“It was—it is,” she stammered a little.

Sil let out a little sigh as he leaned in close, looming. His hand reached up and for one horrifying moment, Rey thought he was going to touch her, but he merely held his hand out and stared at it like it was the most interesting thing in the galaxy.

Tattoos and rings encircled his fingers, and against the back of his hand was a very recognizable circular emblem—Crimson Dawn. He was making sure she _knew _exactly where he was from and who he belonged to. Rey tried to give him a vapid look, but she thought he must realize that she knew exactly what the tattoo meant.

“So curious,” he murmured. “Where has he been hiding you? In plain sight, I wonder? He does so enjoy that sort of thing…”

“I’m sorry?” Rey asked, this time genuinely confused. Was he talking about Ben?

Before Sil could say anything further, Ben reappeared, blessedly without Cirraen. “Ready, Rey?” he asked, not even bothering to spare Sil another look.

“Um, sure. It was nice to meet you,” she said as Ben gently guided her away.

“Truly. This has been most instructive. It was nice talking to you, Rei…na,” he drawled. It took everything Rey had not to start at that. Did he know who she was? There was no way, right? “Ben, let me take one final look at you—Ah, there. A memory frozen perfectly in time,” he finished cryptically, dipping his head and stalking off to wherever Cirraen was waiting.

Rey knew Cirraen had been trying to get a reaction out of Ben with this whole performance, but she wasn’t sure whether the Aristo knew that _she _was being played by Sil. Maybe Cirraen thought she could make Ben jealous? Rey almost laughed at the thought.

No, there was something more going on here. But she was going to do some careful digging to see what she could find out. Rey had her own issues with Crimson Dawn, but hopefully the mask would be enough to keep her safe—for now.

_Here’s hoping Sil didn’t have bioscanners, otherwise I might be fucked. _Sil hadn’t looked modded, not that it was always easy to tell. For the time being, Rey tried to keep herself calm. The last thing she wanted was to give Ben anything more to worry about. And he already looked tense.

“She has no idea what game she’s playing,” Ben said under his breath when they were finally alone.

“What do you mean? Cirraen doesn’t realize that she’s trying to manipulate someone who works for Crimson Dawn?”

“Not just works for…,” Ben started before taking a deep sigh. “That man… he’s not someone to trifle with. I wouldn’t be surprised if he arranged to be here with her. Cirraen is wildly outmatched.”

“So, she’s not secretly running spice?” Rey tried to joke.

“If only it were that simple,” Ben replied. Simple wasn’t how she’d describe spice running, but she could only imagine what was going on if it wasn’t just some dumb Aristo getting in on the game.

“You know, the Syndicates deal in more than just spice, right?” Ben murmured.

Rey leaned in. “Of course, though I try to stay as far from them as possible.”

_Now I do, anyway, _she added as an afterthought. She’d nearly lost her life after double-crossing Crimson Dawn, so she tried to be a little more careful where they were concerned, and a little less reckless.

“Good girl,” he said softly. “The last thing I want to think about is you being anywhere near…” Ben trailed off as if searching for the right words. “But really, that man isn’t just any goon, he’s the leader of this quadrant, and very dangerous.”

“So, Cirraen _is_ as smart as she looks then?” Rey drawled, earning her a low chuckle from Ben.

“Basically, yes. Hopefully, she didn’t make any bargains with Sil. He always gets what he wants, no matter what the cost.”

“Speaking from experience?” Rey asked, but Ben ducked the question and instead implied that he was going to get them both drinks. It was strange that Ben would know so much about the Syndicates—maybe his mother was keeping him abreast of what was happening?

In the power vacuum left after the fall of the Empire, systems and Syndicates squabbled, even now. Rey’d been caught in more than her fair share of fights over the years and, while the New Republic was the dominant power in most of the Core, the Syndicates ruled the outer rim and were looking to expand that power throughout. It made sense that Senator Organa would be following such developments, but Ben? Why should he care?

“Something that sparkles?” Ben suggested. Whatever was going on, he didn’t seem to want to talk about it and, given that they were in public, that probably made sense.

Rey grumbled. “I’m your _bodyguard. _The last thing you should be doing is leaving my side.”

Ben beamed charmingly. “You’ll be able to see me the entire time, I promise,” he said while gesturing to the bar—it was pretty close. Mollified, Rey let him go with a weak little wave. Which, of course, left her open to attack, but not the kind she’d been worrying about.

“And just whom might _you_ be?” called an airy sounding voice.

Rey shifted, keeping Ben in her sights as she turned to face the voice. A coiffed and scantily clad human stood before her, arms linked with a similarly dressed Twi’lek. It would have been easier to describe what their clothing _did _cover than what it didn’t. Still, Rey was impressed that they managed to wear so little without freezing to death.

“Depends on who’s asking,” Rey shot back. The last thing she wanted to deal with was more Aristo bullshit. She didn’t have that kind of time or patience, given all that was going on.

“Oh, a _Coruscanti_ accent. Still, tinged with something prosaic, I think; don’t you, my sweet?” the woman said while twirling her long, pink hair. The Twi’lek gave Rey a nasty-looking smile before flicking the end of her green lek in a dismissive manner.

Rey rolled her eyes. The last thing she gave a shit about were Aristos and their stuck-up opinions, and she was about to give the woman a piece of her mind before Ben walked over, smoothly stepping between them as he settled the drinks on a passing droid’s tray.

“Trelle,” Ben said with a small nod. “Meeala. Lovely to see you this evening. I see you’ve already introduced yourselves to my date, Reina.”

Still, seemed like the human woman wasn’t about to back down and obviously took pleasure in trying to make Rey feel out of place. And it shamed Rey to realize that it was starting to work_._

She often felt out of place and events like this just highlighted the fact that she did _not _belong in Ben’s world. But Ben continued, his arm wrapping around her waist as he tugged her along the length of his body. Rey had to reach out against his chest to steady herself as he held her close.

“And where did you drag her up from, _Benny?_” Trelle purred. She looked as if she was going to reach out and touch Ben, but he held his arm up to stop her.

“She’s quite the treasure and not one I wish to share,” he said slowly, a peculiar kind of menace rolling through his words as he glared at Trelle. They felt palpable, like they were lined with something more than just his ire—as if his words had a dark and twisted power to them that he was barely managing to control.

_The Force…? _Rey wondered as his power surged. _Definitely the Force. _Even untrained as she was, she could still feel it pulse around them.

Trelle laughed, a sound as hollow as surely her head was. “Debatable. Still, I’m miffed that you didn’t seek out _one of your own _to bring tonight. Considering what an event it is, and all. And you bring an _unknown _and she’s wearing a mask! Why it would be laughable if it wasn’t so sad!”

“I think I’ve had just about enough of you for one evening, Trelle,” he said, his tone suggesting he’d rather go an entire _lifetime _without having to interact with her again.

“My darling, shall we?” he murmured, and because Rey was so startled at what he’d just called her—in _public—_of all places, she didn’t realize what he was about to do next until it was too late.

Instead of leading her away, Ben slid his hands over her body, one hand tangling in the hair at the back of her neck while the other held her waist. He took his time, dipped his head slowly, tongue darting out in anticipation over his luscious lips, as he _waited _until _everyone _in the proximity could see.

And what he did next so shocked the Aristos that Rey wasn’t certain who would faint first—her at the horror of being at the center of so much attention or _them _for witnessing it.

Ben Solo, notorious lothario, and consummate space play boy, let his mouth hover near hers, their breaths mingling scant moments before he kissed her. Rey thought she heard a glass hit the ground, but was so distracted by the moment that it blended into the background.

Because Ben Solo had just done the _one _thing he _never did with anyone in public._

He kissed _her_.

And he may as well have dropped to his knee and asked for her hand in marriage, for all the scandal this would create. But for all the attention, for all the cattiness he was trying to counteract, it was such a sweet kiss. A gentle press of his lips against hers, his hand curling into her back, the soft rumble from his chest as he purred… and enjoyed her.

Rey leaned into the kiss and slipped her tongue out and between his lips, an act that seemed to surprise Ben. Fortunately, Ben recovered quickly and what had started out as a sweet, purposeful kiss was rapidly turning into something dark and delicious.

Her hands dug into the fabric of his shirt as her mind and body reeled. Time solidified around them as the noises of the room melted away. It was just the two of them, their bodies tightly pressed against each other, lips locked. Rey realized there’d be no turning back from this moment and, as he kissed her, she realized she didn’t want to.

Even masked as she was, Ben had made his preference known and between Galaxy Glitter and the rest of the Aristos that fawned over him, they’d all be wondering who she was and how she’d managed to get someone like Ben to kiss her in public.

Eventually, Ben had enough sense to pull back before their kiss turned into something even more scandalous. Clearing his throat, Ben gave a withering look to the nasty woman and her Twi’lek partner before he led Rey deeper into the opera house.

All eyes felt as if they were on her and Ben as she carefully followed behind him. Though nothing showed in his demeanor, Rey could feel an energy rolling off of him. It has started with Cirraen’s games and been heightened by the Twi’lek and her partner.

He was angry. Rey knew him well enough to be able to tell that much, but she thought there was more going on than he was saying. What was it about Sil that had upset him so much? And what did he mean by, “A memory frozen perfectly in time?” Rey thought she’d ask Ben about it later, when they were in private—at least, if she remembered.

Finally, after passing through an added layer of security, she and Ben arrived at his private box. Originally, it would have been Cirraen and Ben inside, with Rey on guard. But with how things changed, it’d only be herself and Ben now.

With a soft sigh, Ben walked over to a small table. Drinks had been prepared, but instead of taking what was available, he gestured for an attendant.

“Fresh glasses and a sealed bottle, please. Have it readied for the intermission, but not any earlier,” Ben directed. A small, ruby-colored, metallic serving droid bobbed their head before leaving to do Ben’s bidding.

Rey stepped closer and carefully brushed her hand along his arm. “I’m sorry, Ben. I didn’t mean to draw attention like that,” she started, but Ben shook his head before taking a look around. They weren’t alone and the two remaining attendants, though professional, were _definitely _listening.

Ben flicked his wrist towards the exit. “Leave us, please,” he directed and the attendants quickly shuffled out of the private box. Once the electronic doors closed behind them, Ben continued. “That’s better. Now, it’s just the two of us.”

It was a cozy, intimate space, with a bubble of electropaneling that ensured privacy, as they could see out, but no one could see into where they sat. A soft din rose up from the crowd below. Rey was properly impressed, but trying to play it like she’d expected something like this. Large, plush seats were angled toward the stage, and display panels hovered along the sides, so if they wanted a closer look at the performance, cameras could provide that for them. For the moment, they were turned off.

Ben reached out and took Rey’s hand in his, leading her around to their seats. The height made Rey feel a little dizzy, or maybe it was Ben, she couldn’t tell. He always made her feel a little intoxicated, no matter what he happened to be doing. There were only two seats, suggesting that Ben only ever hosted himself and one other person at a time here, which was about right for him.

Ben gently folded her hand in his as they both settled into their seats, the leather fabric of his gloves smoothing over her skin as he gently caressed her and picked up her earlier train of thought now that they were alone. “You have nothing to be sorry for. They’re notorious gossips and have nothing better to do with their time than cause problems.”

Rey shrugged, even though some of Trelle’s words had hit their mark. “It happens.”

Ben turned away and stared out over the crowd. The stage was set. It was some Bith romantic tragedy that was famed for its beautiful story and notoriously hard to sing music. Rey had the foresight to at least attempt to understand what she was getting herself into on this assignment and had looked up the opera beforehand.

As she’d studied the holos, she found she really _loved _the music. It was hauntingly beautiful, and the sounds resonated with the sadness in her heart. Not that she was about to admit that to anyone.

Ben turned to look at her as the lights dimmed in the auditorium before pulling her hand to his lips to press a chaste kiss there. “Perhaps you will let me make it up to you?” he asked quietly as the orchestra tested their instruments.

“Really, Ben. You don’t have to do anything. I imagine what you already did will catch you no end of shit...,” Rey started, but Ben silenced her with a gentle nip to her fingertips.

“I want to,” he assured her. “Will you let me apologize?”

Rey cocked her head as the long length of her hair dipped to the side. “What did you have in mind?”

Ben grinned and immediately Rey knew he was planning something lascivious and, instead of feeling horrified because they were in public, she only felt curious_._ Her curiosity had been getting the best of her lately, but it also was getting used to being sated. He always indulged her, made her his focus, and it was intoxicating to the point of being addicting.

Ben spread his arms out to the sides, indicating that Rey should join him by sitting on his lap as her cheeks flushed and her stomach dipped. But she stood anyway, and let Ben get a good look at her before stepping closer. His eyes felt like a brand against her skin. He stared up at her, his face obscured by his mask, but the tightness of his jaw belied his desire for her. He wanted her as much as she wanted him, and that made her feel powerful.

Here she was, Rey Nobody with Ben Somebody—and _he _wanted _her. _It felt like a dream, and not one she ever wanted to wake up from. No, all she wanted to know was what was going to happen next and what he’d decided to do with her. With a little flourish of her skirt that revealed her long legs, Rey twirled before sliding into Ben’s lap.

He was so big, and his long legs split open as he urged her to straddle him backward as she sat. Rey pressed back, her legs spread over his as she realized he was already hard. Rey let out the needy moan as she twisted her hips, grinding into that considerable length as he reached out to still her.

“I’d rather this be about _you_,” he said with a gentle nuzzle along her neck.

Rey leaned into his warmth as his hands skimmed low. “Make me feel good,” she murmured as the music struck up.

The opera was beginning. Ben’s lips caught her earlobe as he promised, “Always. _Always, Rey._”

Rey watched as a lone female—Xi’Dec, the famous soprano, from the looks of it—made her way out onto the stage, and from the first note and the first slide of Ben’s fingers along her thigh, Rey was entranced.

Because the slit on her dress was obscenely high, Ben didn’t have a problem fishing under the layers of fabric. He let out a shaky laugh as his hand found her blaster before sliding higher on her thigh, and tracing along the silky fabric of her underwear.

Rey gasped. “Aren’t you going to take your gloves off?”

His fingers moved wickedly, ghosting along the seam of her leg before delving under her underthings.

“No. I want to smell you on these later. It’s so much easier to fuck my own hand when I have _you _in my thoughts,” he wickedly divulged.

Her mouth fell open at his admission before she let her head fall back against his shoulder, the raw candor of his words sending a shiver of want through her. He pulled his hand away for a quick moment and, with a flick of his wrist, a concealed knife shot out from his sleeve; a few slashes later, and her underthings were no longer an issue.

So, he _was _ready in case things went sideways. Maybe he’d been worried after what had happened at the auction? Rey tucked that information away for later as she took a steadying breath while Ben’s fingers skimmed along the seam of her sex—already slick with her desire—but her breath ended on a moan as he dipped his fingers _inside._

Ben chuckled behind her before pulling his free hand to his mouth. With a tug, he pulled the glove off and held it to her lips. “To keep you quiet.”

Rey bit down on the offered leather as a low moan left her body. He was going to be the end of her, she just knew it. The opera continued and, all the while, Ben played Rey like an instrument, his touch responding to every take of breath, every twitch of her hips, every quiet moan_. _

Rey closed her eyes as the music rose up to them, setting the soundtrack for their own erotic exhibition. Gods, it would be so easy to give herself to this man completely. For the moment, Rey was willing to indulge in their desires, but as for the future... it was uncertain, but blooming with possibilities.

_The moment. The moment. Indulge in the moment, _she reminded herself, even though it felt like more.

Ben’s teeth rasped along her shoulder as two long, gloved fingers pressed into her, curling as they stroked.

_Fuck, how does he always find that—Oh... Spot! _

Rey bit down hard on the glove in her mouth as his thumb joined his fingers, swirling in time with the music as he pushed her higher. His free hand traveled up high, gently caressing the column of her throat as he whispered wicked, dark things into her ear while the music played. The desire overwhelmed her, the completion, the feeling of something she couldn’t quite put into words, even as her mind fought to remind her of all that she lacked.

_Nothing. I’m nothing… _she couldn’t help thinking, chest tight even as his fingers pressed firmly, spreading wide within her.

“You’re wrong,” he murmured against her throat, voice choked as he replied, “You’re _everything.”_

_“Ben,” _she managed around his glove, breath hot and teeth tight as her head lolled and her body twisted in his lap.

_Please… Please… Please! _she thought, wordlessly seeking the pleasure that only he could give her, but more than that, the sweet completion that came from his affection for her. _And Gods, _the way he praised her. No one had ever made Rey feel as cherished or as seen as Ben did. He really and truly saw her and knew just what to give her to drive her insane.

His voice was pitched low, but loud enough that she could hear every single word, almost as if it was laced with his power, swirling and combining until it tickled along her skin, whispered words for her alone.

“Use me,” he said against her skin. “Let me take you higher.” The hand on her throat shifted, skin hot against hers as his fingers curled around the back of her neck, holding her carefully as he fucked her thoroughly with his hand.

He murmured dark, wicked things into her ear while the music played and the haunting, sorrowful voices reached their ears. He told her how she looked all spread out on him—_heavenly, like a gift lush gift from the Gods—_and all that he wanted to do to her when they got back to his place. And some of the things he said were sweetness blended with spice, wicked and divine promises that spilled from his lips, adding to her ardor, pushing her higher and higher.

“From the first moment we met, I knew I’d have you. I had to. The way you saw me… Not a prince, not a senator’s son—just me. The way you want… the way you _beg. _I’d kill the Chancellor himself just to hear you beg me for more. And I’d give it to you. Every. Single. Time.”

Rey bit down _hard _on his glove. The mantra in her mind was a single word: _Please._

_Breathe in, _he urged her with his mind, so clear, it almost felt like the words were her own. _Use me. And I’ll give you everything in return._

And she did. Gods, she did. Rey clenched _hard _around his fingers, nails digging into the thick muscles of his arm as sensation swirled. As the music swelled, Rey came with a crescendo of her own at the urging of Ben’s talented fingers, accompanied by his sinful and powerful words. He drew every last drop of pleasure out of her while she sat, helpless and wanton in his lap, while the music cascaded all around them.

* * *

Author's Notes:

Hey all! I super hurt my back LOL (I hurt it at work a few years ago, lifting heavy shit blah blah blah retail, and it's been shit ever since). SO! If I missed anything, it was super painful to edit this and I did my best (I know, if it seems like I'm falling apart, it's because I am lol c'est la 2020 or whatever). Anyway, hope you're all doing well. Have some light exhibitionism as a treat before the main course hah! Thanks for all of the lovely comments and for keeping me going on this. Means more than I can say, honestly. Take care, stay healthy!

In case anyone was wondering what Sil is wearing, [it's something like this](https://www.vogue.com/fashion-shows/fall-2020-menswear/balmain/slideshow/collection#25). Balmain always delivers. And Cirraen is [wearing The Blonds (something like this anyway)](https://www.elle.com/runway/fall-2014-rtw/g24730/the-blonds-fall-2014-rtw-collection/?slide=20), which is also A+.

* * *

**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend,** **or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading!**

**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom [@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media for 2020 :) (and I'm actually doing better at this YAY lol)**


	21. Innerbloom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After lingering at the opera, Ben and Rey head back to Ben's place while she shows him just how much she appreciated what he'd done to her. *WINK*

** _“Use me,” he said against her skin. “Let me take you higher.” The hand on her throat shifted, skin hot against hers as his fingers curled around the back of her neck, holding her carefully as he fucked her thoroughly with his hand._ **

** _He murmured dark, wicked things into her ear while the music played and the haunting, sorrowful voices reached their ears. He told her how she looked all spread out on him—heavenly, like a gift lush gift from the Gods—and all that he wanted to do to her when they got back to his place. And some of the things he said were sweetness blended with spice, wicked and divine promises that spilled from his lips, adding to her ardor, pushing her higher and higher._ **

** _“From the first moment we met, I knew I’d have you. I had to. The way you saw me… Not a prince, not a senator’s son—just me. The way you want… the way you beg. I’d kill the Chancellor himself just to hear you beg me for more. And I’d give it to you. Every. Single. Time.”_ **

** _Rey bit down hard on his glove. The mantra in her mind was a single word: Please._ **

** _Breathe in, he urged her with his mind, so clear, it almost felt like the words were her own. Use me. And I’ll give you everything in return._ **

** _And she did. Gods, she did. Rey clenched hard around his fingers, nails digging into the thick muscles of his arm as sensation swirled. As the music swelled, Rey came with a crescendo of her own at the urging of Ben’s talented fingers, accompanied by his sinful and powerful words. He drew every last drop of pleasure out of her while she sat, helpless and wanton in his lap, while the music cascaded all around them..._ **

* * *

Rey spent the rest of the night in Ben’s lap and wrapped up in his arms. It felt a little possessive, but it went both ways because she wanted to be on his lap as much as he wanted her to stay there. Throughout the performance, he’d softly comment during his favorite parts, sharing stories and anecdotes about the opera, and its historical tragedy.

“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…” the story had started, signaling its fictional origins, but Ben let her know that more than a little bit was grounded in truth. Rey’d researched a little herself, but not too deeply—mostly taking in the overall story and its themes, which concerned itself with telling the tale of two lovers who were tragically parted.

At a pivotal moment in the opera, the soprano kneeled shattered and broken, crying into her hands at the alleged betrayal of her lover. Later, it was revealed that everything he did, he did for love, though his lover never finds out the truth and they both die alone, brokenhearted.

And it was sad, Rey thought. Even though she couldn’t understand Bith, but the feeling came through and by the end, she felt as bereft as if she’d experienced the loss herself. After the curtain call, Rey and Ben sat together, she as reluctant to leave his arms as he was to relinquish his hold.

At some point, their masks had come off, which was good because Rey’d gotten a little teary near the end, and dabbing at her eyes would have been harder to do with her mask in the way. Fortunately, Ben had either not noticed her tears or wasn’t going to tease her about it.

“Did you like it?” he finally asked as his lips brushed against her neck.

“Hmm? The opera or…?”

Her mind returned to all that he’d done to her and the reason she was presently sitting in his lap. Her cheeks flushed at the memory.

Ben huffed out a little laugh. “The opera. I think I know you well enough to know what you need.”

Rey coughed. “Cheeky.”

“Am I wrong?”

“No, but you don’t have to sound so smug about it,” she grumbled.

Ben’s hold around her waist tightened. “It’s not smugness, it’s pride.”

“Is that supposed to be better?”

“Of course. I know for a fact that my reticent smuggler doesn’t just let _anyone _in. So, I must be _someone special,_” he teased.

Rey rolled her eyes. “As if you need to feel any more special. Half the galaxy is in love with you already.”

“But yours are the only eyes I see. Funny how that works, isn’t it?”

He sounded teasing, but there was a blunt honesty to his words that rattled her a little. It _did _feel like that, like she was the only person he saw. It made her feel powerful, and loved. Which was a great deal more than she was ready to think about given her present circumstances—where she was, where she was sitting. Fortunately, Ben did seem to want to know what she thought about the opera.

“But did you like it?” he asked again.

Rey thought for long moments. Had she enjoyed the opera? She wasn’t sure. She’d enjoyed what Ben did to her, obviously, but the opera… it was beautiful and sad. Could she say she enjoyed something if it also made her sad?

“I don’t know,” she finally replied. “It was just… I wanted them to be together. I _thought _they’d be together.”

“You knew this opera was a tragedy, right?” Ben reminded her.

“I did! But it almost made me believe that it wasn’t, you know? There was that one point when they were together and everything seemed right… only for it to all slip through her fingers and I just…”

“What?” Ben urged with an insistent little nudge of his nose to her shoulder.

“I wanted them to have a happy ending,” she finished simply. Her heart ached for it, actually.

Even during the darkest times in her unhappy life, stories had given her such joy and made her believe that there was something out there—_someone—_and she lived with the hope that she’d find them, one day. If she just waited long enough and wished hard enough… But those were stories on datapads. This was reality. And in reality, the galaxy was a dangerous place full of dark secrets.

Ben hummed thoughtfully. “Not many happily ever afters in this galaxy.”

“No, I know that. But it’s kind of nice when it happens in stories. Makes me think that maybe there’s hope…” she trailed off. Didn’t bother adding “for someone like me,” though she was sure it was obvious or that Ben could read her thoughts.

It was a lot to put on him. As much as she loved him—yes, loved, definitely loved—who knew how long that would last? How long _could _it last? He was a prince, a playboy, beautiful, and adored. And she was… Well, Ben, he cared for her. Maybe even loved her. That would have to be enough. It wasn’t fair for her to ask him for a happy ending when she lived on Takodana and he lived… everywhere, in the hearts and minds of so many.

Yet, despite it all, she was in his arms, on his lap. And he’d kissed her in public. _Her. _Not Hux. Not someone like Cirraen. A nobody like Rey. When she was with Ben, she felt like somebody. And not because his celebrity made her feel important, his affection did. It finally felt like she’d found that one person who saw her. And it was lovely and terrifying, beautiful and sad. It reminded her how the opera had made her feel. How could she tell him all that? She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.

“I think you’ve captured it perfectly,” Ben offered.

“Even if I’m a little naïve for hoping for a happy ending?”

“Naïve? No, not at all. It’s never wrong to hope for happiness, even if it can be fleeting. For what it’s worth, it made me happy.”

Rey scrunched her face and turned a little to try to look at him. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“Why?”

Ben shifted her on his lap so she could see him better before admitting, “Because the present company has made this into what’s sure to be a beautiful memory for me.”

“Oh,” she replied.

“‘Oh,’ indeed. But I think just about any situation would be improved by your presence. Maybe you should cut the smuggler thing and let me smuggle you around the galaxy with me instead?”

Rey frowned and wiggled his chin with her finger. “Don’t tease.”

“Who’s teasing?”

“You, incessantly.”

Ben smiled and for the briefest moment, it almost looked sad before shifting into the curling, smug lines she was used to. “Can you blame me? I’m so good at it.”

“I can and do blame you. For that and many other things.”

“Like what?”

Rey tapped her lip thoughtfully. “Well, for being such a merciless flirt, for one. For looking so enticing in glitter, for another.”

“I do,” he purred in agreement. “I _do _look good in glitter.”

“For being so cocky and arrogant and handsome. I blame you for all of that.”

“Well,” Ben said with a dramatic sigh. “I’ve had to pull out _all _my tricks to entice a very hard to catch someone.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rey replied, feigning ignorance.

“I’m sure you don’t. But don’t you find it romantic? What with all your romantic stories filling your head with dashing deeds and whatnot.”

“Well, you are very much a prince. I’ll give you that. Though, I think the lover in this opera was a little less over the top than you have a reputation for being.”

“It’s called a _flair _for the dramatic.”

“I’m sure, but the lengths they go to prove their love for each other, only to end up alone? Kind of seems horrible. I don’t know if I’d want that from someone else,” Rey mused. What the pair of star-crossed lovers had gone through was heartbraking. At every turn, they almost had exactly what they’d been after, only for unforeseen circumstances to break them apart yet again.

“I would do anything to protect the people I love. To keep them safe,” Ben assured her. “Wouldn’t you?”

Rey shrugged. “I’ve never really had anyone to protect, until recently. But I suppose if it came down to it, yeah.”

Ben laughed softly. “So, I can expect you to save me from the horrors of celebrity?”

“Do you really think you could step away from all of this?” she asked while gesturing to the private box, the bottles of liquor, the splendor of the opera house.

“For the right person, I would burn down the galaxy.”

Rey huffed. “So dramatic.”

“A familial trait,” he assured her. “But it’s true. Dying for someone you love? There’s nothing more worth dying for.”

Rey smiled while reaching out. Her hand gently trailed along his smooth, pale jaw as she considered his face. It was a face that she loved, but more than that, it was the man inside that she cherished. He was more than a pretty picture, more than a celebrity to fawn over, he was Ben Solo. He was hers. And she loved him. It was as simple as that.

Rey shook her head slowly. “I think you’re wrong.”

“How?” She could tell he wasn’t mad about her disagreeing with him, which was welcome even though she knew well enough to trust him.

“I agree with the sentiment, but I think it’s harder to find someone who’s worth _living _for.”

Ben smiled before pressing a soft kiss into her palm. “You’re probably right, not that I’m surprised. See, smuggler, we _are _good for each other.”

“And bad for each other, but I like the bad too,” she assured him before leaning in to press a quick kiss on his full lips.

Despite it all, he made her heart feel so full. Despite it all, she let him draw her into his wild and wondrous world. And she couldn’t find it in herself to regret this, though she worried. Worrying was in her nature, but the happiness… the bliss… they were like the sun, bright lights blotting out everything else until he was all that she could see.

They sat together for a while longer, waiting till most of the opera house had cleared out before donning their masks again and heading out into the main lobby. Rey’s arm was curled around Ben’s and they were nearly at the exit when a flash of dark hair and a flame-colored dress caught her eye.

Rey blinked in surprise, eyes catching two people she’d never expected to see at the opera. _Rose and Finn, _she thought. _What are they doing here?_

Ben didn’t seem to notice and walked on toward where their shuttle was docked, but Rey was disappointed that her friends hadn’t told her about this. She’d _meant _to ask them about their assignment, but she’d not realized that their paths could almost cross. And Rose looked so _gorgeous._

It wasn’t often that they saw each other dressed up, mostly for assignments, and Rose often went out on missions with Finn. Whenever she ended up with Rey, they often came back completely covered in grease or blaster scorches, so high fashion was out of the question.

Though she couldn’t imagine Rose in heels, she had looked a little taller than normal and the long gossamer had fluttered behind her as she’d matched Finn’s pace. With a fitted bodice, the dress curled around her petite body, reaching up and encircling her torso with the blooming fabric. The full skirt would be able to hide a rifle, Rey was certain, but it seemed almost weightless as it fluttered behind Rose.

Her long dark hair was straight, glossed, and had been swept back dramatically from her face. Her rosy skin had a bronze shimmer to it that caught the light as she moved and Rey wasn’t sure if it was affectation or a part of her disguise—something used to keep facial recognition scanners from ID’ing her. Whatever the reason, had Rose looked like a princess and Finn, her dark, handsome prince.

Rey’d always thought that, in another life, Finn would have made a perfect royal. He was charming, handsome, and his smile came easy, even when he was reaching for his blaster. Finn was dressed in a deep blue suit that was slashed with red accents. It was dramatic and suited him perfectly. Wearing gleaming leather boots that were tight against his thighs, he was keeping quite the pace.

Wherever they were going, they had something important to attend to. His dark brown skin glimmered with the same sheen as Rose and it seemed like it was even in his hair. Probably something to keep them safe then. After a brief pause, the couple disappeared around a corner and into the night.

“Everything okay?” Ben asked, probably noticing her attention was elsewhere.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. Everything’s fine. Just watching for… you know.”

“Trouble?”

“Exactly,” she beamed up at him before, this time, actually doing her job and watching out for potential threats to Ben and herself. But aside from their earlier interaction with Cirraen and Sil, they weren’t bothered by anyone. Sure, people stared and commented from behind their appendages and fans, but that was about it.

By the time they made it back to the gleaming shuttle, the mood had shifted. As much as they’d done together in the box seat, it was different now. Anticipation built within Rey and the longing that she’d suppressed rose to the surface. She wanted him, and tonight, she was going to get him.

Once they were alone—_really _alone—it was hard for her to keep her hands off of Ben. After all that he’d done to her in the private box, and then how sweetly he’d held her afterward, her heart was full. To his credit, his hands and lips and teeth were just as frantic as her own, but where he often sought to keep the attention on her, this time he let her do exactly what she wanted.

So, when Rey slipped from his lap and slowly pulled at the fabric of his clothing, tugging layer after layer apart until the length of his cock was revealed to her, it was almost a relief.

She stared up at him, eyes hooded as she admitted, “I thought you’d stop me.”

“How could I resist when you’re looking at me like that?” he asked.

His hips shifted as he spread his long legs wide enough to accommodate her. In the low light of the shuttle, he looked like a fallen angel staring down at her, face half-hidden in the darkness. It made her shiver, though not in fear. In another place and time, Ben would have made for the perfect dark prince. Even now, sentients scrambled to do his bidding. And if he were more inclined towards darkness? Who could resist someone as alluring as him? Not her. Not anyone.

But now he was hers. His dark visage and gorgeous body wrapped up in opulent fabrics, like a gift. Rey nibbled her lip a little, suddenly anxious even though this is what she’d wanted for quite some time. But what if she fucked it all up? It wasn’t like she was the most practiced at this and what if she sucked… at sucking? Rey looked up at Ben, who was doing a very good job of pretending that he was a patient man.

“Ben… I’m not… Can you…?”

Ben sighed softly, the broad width of his chest expanding and contracting before he reached out and gently caressed the side of her face. “You don’t need to worry. You’re perfect,” he assured her.

“What?” she asked, momentarily distracted by the slow bob of his cock before her.

Ben groaned. “You have no idea how hard it is to keep myself from… Just one touch from you and I feel like I’m doing everything I can to keep myself from losing control.”

“Oh,” she replied shortly. That bolstered her confidence some, and it wasn’t long before a mischievous smile worked its way onto her face. “So, what if I do this…?”

Her head dipped and her lips gently plucked his thick crown between her lips. She sucked softly, tongue coming out to swipe along the underside of his dick as she stared up at him, waiting for his reaction.

And she got exactly what she was looking for. His hands were curled into tight fists and it looked as if he was barely keeping himself from reaching out to dig his hands into her hair. His wide chest shuddered as she stared up at him, cock in her mouth, lips, and tongue working in tandem.

Rey took her time, eager to draw out his reactions. And it felt good to have him in her mouth, to enjoy the somewhat salty taste of him as he slid against her tongue. It felt even better to hear and see his reactions and it made her wonder what he’d be like in bed and atop her.

Would he be like he was now? Ben teased her wickedly when she was in his arms, but now it seemed like words failed him. Her eyes flicked up to his face—handsome, staring back at her, full lip captured between his teeth—as she moved her mouth on his cock. She added her hand, gripping him firmly as she enjoyed the silky-hard feel of him.

He groaned at that and finally reached out and threaded his hand into her hair. And she liked that. Liked it even more when he pulled _just a little. _

And when those sensual lips slipped open, breathlessly begging for “_More,_” she nearly came herself.

Here he was, inside _her _mouth, body hot and hard as _she _sucked and sucked. It made her feel drunk with lust and bewilderment that she could make him feel this way, that out of all the people in the galaxy that could be with him, he’d chosen her. And she’d chosen him. They belonged together, and tonight, they were going to prove it. But first…

Rey let her free hand trail over his legs, enjoying the feel of his tight muscles through the exquisite fabric of his pants. She couldn’t wait to get those pants off, couldn’t wait to see what those legs felt like bucking up against her ass as he fucked her from behind.

“Ahh,” Ben let out a little hiss. “What makes you think I’m going to let you hide that beautiful face of yours from me?”

In response, Rey sweetly sucked on the thick crown of his dick while her hand twisted and moved along that length. He’d give her everything she ever wanted, Rey knew that. And if she wanted him to fuck her from behind, he’d do that. He gave and gave and gave until her mind was drunk with the possibilities of all that he’d do to make her happy, and everything he’d do to make her come.

He was long and wide, the length of him flushed pink and slick from her mouth. Rey smiled around his cock before sucking him in deeper. Her jaw ached a bit, but it was so heady to watch his hips thrust _just a little _while she worked him with her mouth. The moans and gasps and the soft curses that spilled from his lips were more intoxicating than wine, and she only wanted more.

Her hand tightened around him, lips sucking harder as her head bobbed, mimicking the tight feel of sex around his cock. And that, combined with the sweet little purrs of pleasure that _she _released, was more than enough for Ben.

“F-_fuck_, _Rey,_” he moaned, his hands in her hair tightening as his hips shifted, giving tight little thrusts into the warm pleasure of her mouth.

Rey looked up at him, eyes rapt as she watched. His lip was caught between his teeth, eyes slipping closed as the muscles in his neck flexed enticingly. A light sheen of sweat dusted his brow and the thick length of his dark hair had curled from the heat of his desire.

_She _had his cock in her mouth, but he was the one that looked wanton and needy. And, Gods, it was a good look for him. Color suffused his pale skin, rising into his rosy cheeks as he took a deep breath and _finally _came with a low groan.

Beat for beat, she sucked and pulled him into her until he was spent, swallowing the sticky-salty taste of him down and down before releasing his cock with a gentle pop. Ben looked almost embarrassed and Rey got the impression that, as much as he had a scandalous reputation, he didn’t let anyone see him like this very often.

After a moment, he collected himself and gingerly tucked his dick back into his pants.

“Sensitive?” she asked.

“Very.”

“Oh, is that going to be a problem later?” Rey teased.

Ben rolled his eyes. “Absolutely not, unless you plan on only sucking my cock for the rest of the evening?”

Rey shrugged. “Maybe, I kind of like you all needy and squirmy like that.”

His eyebrow quirked. “Oh, really? Wicked smuggler, haven’t you ever been warned about playing with fire?”

“Are you trying to warn me away?”

Ben grinned. “Last chance before I get you back to my place and edge you so mercilessly that you’ll be begging me to come.”

“We’ll see,” she replied with as much bravado as she could muster, because she absolutely could imagine Ben doing just that. Somehow, she knew that sex would change things irrevocably between them, which was precisely why she’d waited for so long.

Sex was… rare in her life. And the last thing she wanted was to feel used up by someone who didn’t care. But used up and thoroughly fucked by someone who _did _care? Someone like Ben? She might be into that.

“We most certainly shall,” he said while his hand dug into the breast pocket of his jacket. Ben pulled out a handkerchief and reached forward, gently rubbing at her lips and then her chin. “I’m never going to forget the look of you like this.”

Rey’s tongue darted out. She could taste him on her lips. “Likewise.”

“C’mere,” he murmured while drawing her up from the floor and into his lap. His arms wrapped tight around her as he pressed indolent kisses into her neck. It was almost as if he was trying to soothe her, but that was the last thing she wanted.

“Ben, please.” She wanted _him_. Wanted him so badly it almost hurt.

Ben smiled against her neck. “I am not going to fuck you for the first time in a shuttle. Be patient, for me?”

Her eyes slipped close as his teeth rasped against her skin. “I… Okay.” Rey was a patient person, but even this was testing her limits and she couldn’t stop herself from letting out a low whine.

And he knew, of course, he knew, he could _sense _it from her. And she could feel how hard he was _again, _despite all she’d done to him.

“You’re insatiable,” she grumbled.

Ben shook his head a little. “It’s you, Rey. Just you.”

And, for what it was worth, she believed him because it was the same for her. Though relationships were fleeting in her life, nothing had even come close to making her feel the way Ben did. It was… It felt like something as intrinsic as breathing as if for her entire life, she’d been just beneath the waves of existence only for Ben to pull her through, lungs filling with a terrible ache as she finally, _finally _found what she’d always been looking for.

It was love. And though they hadn’t admitted it to each other, she could feel it in his touch, in the way he cared for her. If she were braver, she’d tell him, but a lifetime of betrayal and heartache had made her cautious. Some said fear was for the weak, but it had also kept her alive. But with Ben, it was starting to feel like she could let go of some of that anxiety and just let herself live and love.

_Soon, _she told herself as she leaned forward, resting her head on his broad shoulder. Here she was, _snuggling _with someone! It was almost laughable how much things had changed for her because of Ben. From the first moment she met him, she knew there was something about him, but she’d assumed it was all bad. But she’d been wrong, so wrong.

He was more than anyone realized—more than _she’d _realized. And she’d not made it easy for him, either. She’d pushed, and he’d pulled, though they’d both seemed to believe there was wisdom in staying apart. Now, she couldn’t deny the connection that ran through them both. It was so much more than lust or curiosity.

“Ben,” she said, lips brushing softly against his throat.

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For… I dunno, all of this. I had a nice time tonight with you.”

Ben’s fingers traced low on her hip, voice a gentle rumble against her cheek as he replied, “Anything for you. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

“Though, maybe next time we can skip inviting Cirraen and her… friend?” she teased.

Ben chuckled. “Absolutely.”

Rey settled into his arms and let his alluring scent and warmth relax her. And in the quiet of the shuttle, Rey realized that she’d never felt quite so happy or safe before. It was more than she’d ever hoped to dream of—it _was _a dream. And as they drew closer to Ben’s apartment, she wished that the night would never end.

Her thoughts must have come through because Ben placed a soft kiss on her brow and assured her, “Our night is only just beginning.”

Rey swallowed thickly, mind suddenly racing with all that was yet to come. She was scared, she was excited, but mostly she was curious. Fortunately for her, Ben was _very _good at sating her curiosity, so whatever he had planned next, she knew it was most definitely worth waiting for.

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

Work’s been aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lately. I’m gonna do my best to get something up closer to xmas or NYE so you all don’t have to wait too long for the fucking LOL. I don’t know what it is, but I definitely obsess way more over sex scenes than anything else. And by obsess, I mean agonize. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and for all the lovely comments. You all are so kind and I hope life is going well for all of you (as best as can be in the present circumstances) and that you’re able to find moments of joy in all of this. Happy holidays and take care! Here’s hoping 2021 isssssssssss better lol. Poor pple on ffnet lol they're gonna have to wait a few days for this because there's a lot of smut here that I gotta edit out and I don't have time today.

Basically describing [this gorgeous](https://www.popsugar.com/celebrity/photo-gallery/47036846/image/47036803/Kelly-Marie-Tran-at-London-Premiere-For-Star-Wars-Rise-Skywalker) Phuong My dress for Rose, and I just scrolled endlessly through Kpop twitter to find [this jacket](https://twitter.com/Bangtan_Style07/status/1338656339220811776) by Givenchy again because I adore it and forgot to save the link, but I also saw a great jacket by [Alexander McQueen](https://twitter.com/Bangtan_Style07/status/1339426942596964355?s=20) and now I'm pissed I didn't see that first. God, I have half a mind to go back and change it to this because it'd work SO WELL. Maybe next edit lol.

Title of this chapter is taken from the song [Innerbloom by Dustin Tebbutt and Lisa Mitchell](https://open.spotify.com/track/3Dw7r2ahkI2qQWbHLXWVVm) which I listened to on repeat while writing this (most of the chapter titles are song titles or lyrics from my random playlist for this story).

Edit: HAHAA just got reminded it's a year since TRoS lol. Fanon forever hahaha.

Cheers!

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**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend,** **or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading!**

**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom [@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media for 2020 :) (and I'm actually doing better at this YAY lol).**


	22. Your Compliments Look Good On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey make it back to his apartment after the Opera and have a quick snack before moving on to the main course... *WINK*

_Rey settled into his arms and let his alluring scent and warmth relax her. And in the quiet of the shuttle, Rey realized that she’d never felt quite so happy or safe before. It was more than she’d ever hoped to dream of—it was a dream. And as they drew closer to Ben’s apartment, she wished that the night would never end._

_Her thoughts must have come through because Ben placed a soft kiss on her brow and assured her, “Our night is only just beginning.”_

_Rey swallowed thickly, mind suddenly racing with all that was yet to come. She was scared, she was excited, but mostly she was curious. Fortunately for her, Ben was very good at sating her curiosity, so whatever he had planned next, she knew it was most definitely worth waiting for..._

* * *

This wasn’t Rey’s first time having sex, but it was the first time she’d ever been in love with someone she’d be having sex with. And that made things about a thousand times more frightening for her. Fortunately, Ben seemed like he hadn’t noticed her worries yet and was making her something to eat.

It was late, and while she’d had snacks at the opera and more than her fair share of drinks, by the time they’d gotten back to his place, she’d realized how hungry she was. Actually, that wasn’t quite how it happened. It was more honest to say that while Ben had her pressed up against the inside of his shuttle, leg slotted between hers as his hands did the most wicked things to the underside of her breasts, her stomach had growled so loudly that they’d both heard it.

“Other things on your mind?” Ben’d teased.

“No,” she’d grumbled right back while trying to pull him close again.

But he’d gently taken her hand in his and tugged her along until they were back in his place. After taking a few moments to remove their shoes and masks, he’d pulled her right into the kitchen, grabbed her by the hips and placed her on his high counters before getting to work. The kitchen was as bright as the rest of his apartment, and everything seemed to be a strange mix of state-of-the-art and vintage.

It was a strange look that made the entire place—no, the entire city—feel like it was a little outside of time. She liked it, though. Liked watching Ben move within this world even more. His muscles shifted as he cooked for her, toe-tapping as he hummed a song, off-key, which was hopelessly endearing. Where he moved, her eyes followed. She was a strange mix of hungry and horny. But, she had to admit, it was really sweet that he wanted to cook for her. And surprising.

“I didn’t take you for a cook,” she admitted. Not that she was much of a cook either. Her cooking consisted of burning things, nanowaving precooked foods, scavenging from friends, and takeout. That was about it.

Ben shrugged. “I can keep myself alive, but I wouldn’t say I’m good at it. How do you like your eggs?”

“Hmm, over medium?”

He obliged her, and the eggs were perfect. As was the buttery toast and nuna bacon. Ben stole bites from her plate while Rey sat, high enough that she was taller than him for once, and munched on her food. And it was nice, the way he took care of her. She wasn’t used to someone wanting to take care of her. A girl could get used to this kind of thing. And just as she was about to take her last bite of toast, Ben slipped between her legs and parted his lips.

Rey frowned but placed it where he could lean forward and grab it with his mouth. And he did, right after he reached up, grabbed her hand, and held it tight as his lips descended. Ben slipped her fingers and the toast into his mouth and pulled back with a _pop! _and a smile on his lips as he chewed.

“Tasty,” he purred. “I wonder what other flavors I’ll discover on you?”

Rey swallowed thickly. Just like that, the mood shifted. Just like that, the only thing she was thinking of was getting out of her dress and into his bed. Fortunately, Ben was on the same wavelength because he reached out, grabbed her by the hips, and pulled her tight.

Her legs wrapped around his taut middle as he carried her down the hall. Somewhere along the way, he’d lost his jacket, and belt, and various other articles of clothing. His shirt hung open, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of his pale chest. And because it was so tantalizing, Rey indulged herself by softly skimming her fingers across his skin.

His skin was warm, smooth, and she just couldn’t wait to suck some obscene marks into it.

“I like where your mind is at, smuggler,” he purred, reading her thoughts as the door to his room slid open with a soft _hiss_. It was just as cavernous as the rest of his place and decorated in the same gleaming white décor. His bed was plush and obscenely large, so tall she was certain she'd have to jump to get into it. A soft-looking, leather headboard adorned the top, while white and gray bedding was tucked tight into the mattress. They were absolutely going to mess that pristine bed up.

Ben set Rey down and then placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “Anything you need?”

“Just you.”

Ben winked. “And you’ll have me. In a moment.”

He moved slowly, hand coming up to gently skim along her cheek like he had all the time in the world to enjoy this. And maybe he did. For the moment, Rey pretended she did too. Pretended that the only thing she had to worry about was whether he’d be disappointing in bed or not. Given her experiences so far, she was certain what the answer would be, but she was looking forward to having her suspicions confirmed.

He walked away from her and made his way across the room and into a mirrored alcove. Then he painstakingly pulled every piece of clothing he had off until he was standing there in only his scant, dark underthings.

Ben’s pale skin caught the low light of the room, almost glowing in the dark of the night. It was bewitching, how alluring he was. Almost looked like he was dipped in starlight and she ached to reach out and trace the constellations of freckles on his skin.

But Ben was slow. And she was impatient. The way he was looking at her made Rey feel like he was just on the verge of swallowing her whole. It was thrilling, even a little frightening, the depths of his desire for her.

He’d told her earlier that he wasn’t a patient man, but he didn’t rush her as if a lingering part of him was still worried that the scavenger in her—hungry, perpetually afraid, eternally fighting for existence—was just about to come out and bolt. Nothing could have been further from her mind, and nothing made her feel more complete than being here with him right now.

Finally, the underwear slipped off his hips, leaving him gloriously nude. Rey took a breath and tried to keep her mouth closed as she stared.

“Need help with your dress?” he asked before moving closer to where she stood.

Rey was having a hard time focusing on anything other than the sight of Ben naked, but she managed a nod as she popped the clasp on her wide, golden belt. It took a while to get the dress off. The intricately beaded portions looked beautiful but weren’t the easiest to unclasp.

Fortunately, Ben’s fingers were strong and nimble against her body, and truthfully, he had more experiences getting out of fancy dresses than she did. Eventually, the ruby-colored dress pooled around her ankles and she stepped out of it, only for Ben to lift the garment and gently place it on the back of a hover-chair for safekeeping.

This left her wearing nothing but Ben’s gift. Her bracelet was a slight weight against her wrist, a sweet reminder of him. He’d stolen her underwear at the opera house, and she’d not bothered with a bra for her elaborate dress.

Rey nibbled her lips and rubbed at her arms as her insecurity settled in. What was she, when compared to someone like him? He was someone whose beauty and grace seemed to seep from every pore. But before she had a chance to think of anything further, Ben had her wrapped up in his arms and tight against his body.

“You’re beautiful,” he assured her. “A true light in the darkness of the galaxy.”

“You old smoothie,” Rey joked, but she let her arms settle around his middle, cheek pressed against his chest as his warmth spread to her.

It was nice to be held like this. Simple comforts from a beguilingly complicated man. But she wasn’t here just for hugs. Soon enough, her thoughts returned to how dizzyingly, wonderfully naked he was, and how good it felt to have him pressed up against her, and she needed more.

“Tell me what you want,” he demanded.

Rey nibbled her lip. He would make her say it, even as she stood before him completely naked. She knew he was making sure he had her consent, and she appreciated that, but she also hated being vulnerable. And he was very good at making her feel vulnerable.

Still, she wanted him. And she knew that if she was going to get him, she’d have to tell Ben what she wanted. But she wasn’t going to do this without getting something in exchange. Rey gave him a wolfish smile.

He was her prey tonight, or maybe she was his? It didn’t matter. They’d been running circles around each other for what felt like an eternity, and tonight was the night. She was going to find out whether the rumors of Ben Solo’s prowess in bed were exaggerated or not.

“They’re not,” he smugly assured her.

Rey pressed her palm against his chest. “Gonna have to prove it, Solo.”

With her hand flat on his broad chest, she backed him toward his massive bed. With his thighs against the edge of the mattress, she gave a little push, only for him to fall back into the plush covers. Rey stared down at him while Ben slowly shifted, resting on his elbows.

He looked like he could double as one of the old Gods, his muscled body tight and decadent as he waited for her. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen him naked before, but there was something untamed about his body. Whether wrapped in silks and gowns or caped and cowled, his power was undeniable. _He _was undeniable.

Ben’s legs were spread slightly, the thick length of his cock already stiffening under her gaze. Gods, how she wanted to dive onto the bed and take him into her, but she was determined not to fuck this up, even though it went against all of her instincts.

_Act now. Don’t hesitate. What if this is all a dream?_

Rey shook her head a little as she forced herself to look at all of him, his strong legs dusted with dark hair, broad chest slowly expanding and contracting, the flushed pink of his nipples. Her eyes roamed over the line of his neck and noted the little curve of his smile in that pale, handsome face. No, this was real. _He _was real. Somehow, she’d managed to capture the attention of the one man in the galaxy that everyone seemed to want.

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? They wanted the status that went along with Ben’s lifestyle, while she wanted the man behind that charming façade. He was more than he appeared to be at first glance. He was careful, calculated, but also kind. He gave off an air of indifference when in public, but anyone who knew him understood it wasn’t true. He cared, deeply.

_“I would do anything to protect the people I love. To keep them safe. Wouldn’t you?”_ His earlier words echoed in her mind. And she was someone he cared about, maybe even loved. Now, she was going to have a taste of him and her mind still couldn’t quite wrap itself around that truth. It all felt so unreal.

Ben held his hand out for her. “Come to me,” he murmured. “Let me taste you. Let me prepare you…”

Rey swallowed around the sudden thickness in her throat. “Prepare me?”

Ben’s eyebrow quirked as his hand slipped low, and he gave a few slow, tight pumps of his cock before shrugging. “I’m a lot to handle.”

Rey blinked. She remembered the slight ache of her jaw as she’d taken him between her lips. He _was _pretty fucking massive, and he was probably right about her needing to be ready for him, but one of the things _he _loved about her was how she pushed—just a little. And unlike everyone else in his life, Rey so rarely told him what he wanted to hear, and that wasn’t about to change now.

“Well, you’ve never had me before,” she quipped.

“No, but I have had my fingers up in that sweet cunt of yours, and unless you’ve been having fun on the side, I promise that you need to be wet. _Sopping_, really. So come over here and let me make you come.”

Rey gasped. He didn’t curse often, but when he did, it sent a thrill right through her. Though they’d shared more than a few clandestine moments, and fantasies through their holo-calls, hearing him and seeing him the way he was now was more powerful than she’d realized it would be. She _was _getting wet, and she _did _want more from him.

“Rey,” he growled softly. “Come here.”

“How?” she finally managed.

“Crawl. Put your knees on either side of my head and hold on to the headboard.”

Those plush lips were made for one thing, and one thing only. Rey blushed as she tried to keep her errant thought to herself, but the smug look on Ben’s face as she moved closer told her he already knew. She’d have to practice putting up walls as Ben had demonstrated, but for now, she didn’t mind that her loud thoughts seemed to be picked up by him with ease.

Let him know how much she desired him. Let him be as crazy for her as she was for him.

“Do I not look like I’m going crazy here?” he asked.

“You look so collected that it’s driving me a little nuts,” she replied.

Ben took a long breath, eyes curiously dark as they eyes slowly trailed over her—hitching between her legs, at the soft, slight curve of her breasts, on the fullness of her lips. She could feel how he felt when he looked at her—was he doing that? Probably. She could feel how every fiber of his being felt like it was on fire for her, and that if she spent just one fucking second more away from him, he was going to launch himself off the bed and…

_Oh._

“Oh,” he replied. “Please, Rey.”

Rey swallowed thickly and did as she was asked. His bed was high, so she did have to hop a little to get on top of it, and she’d underestimated its softness, so she ended up steadying herself with a hand on his thick thigh. Which was very distracting–distracting for him, too, if the slight jerk of his cock was anything to go by.

_What if I just… _she started to think about all the things she’d like to do to him, and Ben picked up her thoughts easily.

“If we start _that_ way, I’m going to finish embarrassingly fast, so just come here,” Ben teased.

“Okay, fine,” she pouted. He had _really _nice thighs. Thick and muscular and great for grinding.

_Maybe later, _she thought, because the way he was looking at her—like she was a treat that he wanted to gobble right up—had her remembering just how talented his tongue was. With a little sigh, Rey crawled beside Ben and carefully positioned her knees on opposite sides of his face.

“Gonna ruin your pretty hairstyle,” she commented while looking down.

“Good, I can’t wait to get my fingers into yours, too,” he replied while his hands gently skimmed over the full curve of her ass. “Can’t wait to get my fingers into a few things, actually.”

“Ben!” Rey chided, cheeks flushing despite how she was positioned over his face.

His hands tightened in response, and he grinned before pulling her closer. Just before her core felt the press of his tongue, she thought he whispered a pained, “_Finally._”

And then the only thing she could think about was how unfair it was that his tongue was so thick and hot and slick against her clit. And how unfair it was that all she could do was hang onto his headboard and let him tongue-fuck her within an inch of her life.

He was very, _very _good at fucking her with his tongue. Long swipes with the flat of his tongue teased her entrance. Soft, darting licks and sips at her clit made her writhe. He slipped a finger in, and then another. Fluttered those long, thick digits as she did her best not to grind right into his fucking face.

“Do it,” he rasped between sucks.

“Oh, but…”

But as his fingers curled, and his tongue _dipped,_ her body tripped forward. Rey’s hands clenched on the headboard, holding tight enough that she was sure she’d leave nail marks in the plush leather.

“F-fuck, Ben!” she said with a groan, eyes tightly closed as her senses flooded with all he was doing to her.

It was more than his how his hands were on her and in her. More than the feel of his tongue diving and slipping, pushing her higher and higher before backing off, teasing and stopping before she crashed over that wild peak. It was the feeling of his subtle power as it flowed over her.

She could feel it better now when there was nothing between them. Skin to skin, that strange sensation she’d felt before and in his dressing room flowed over her, amplifying his touch until her entire being felt full of _him._

_Soon you will be full of me. _She heard his cheeky thoughts. Even his thoughts were clearer now, mind and body joined by their strange connection, amplified by his wicket touch and tongue.

Finally, just when she felt as if she was at the breaking point, he let her come. And this time, as the pleasure radiated from her core, she couldn’t keep herself from grinding into him. She could feel his amusement—his pleasure—as one hand slowly fucked her through the orgasm while the other held her—tight against his face, right where he wanted her.

Ben slipped his fingers out of her as she came down from that high, and she felt the loss of that contact in her soul. She was greedy, wanted more of him, wanted every single bit of him against and inside of every single bit of her. It felt impossible, how badly she wanted him.

“Anything’s possible with the Force,” he teased as she slowly climbed off of his face.

Her legs trembled, and she had to brace her hand on his shoulder and bed to keep from falling over. If she was this fucked up from his tongue, what was his cock going to do to her? Rey settled herself beside Ben. He grinned up at her as she stared—smug, full of himself, and for good reason.

“Ready for more?” he breathed before reaching up to wipe at his mouth with the back of his hand.

Rey let her gaze trail over his body. His cock was stiff against his hard stomach, legs spread indolently. Eventually, his hand slipped low and encircled his length as she watched. He was a feast for her eyes.

“My turn to repay the favor?”

His lips curved into a wicked smile. “Maybe later. For now, I’m hoping for something different. Do you prefer to be on top or the bottom?”

Well, now wasn’t that a question? Rey’d never really thought about it, specifically because she’d spent more time thinking about surviving than what she enjoyed in bed.

“I don’t know if I have a preference. Maybe on top? What do you prefer?” Maybe this would be easier if she just turned his question back on him.

“I’m a bit of a pillow princess,” he drawled before a laugh escaped her lips.

“I have a really hard time believing that.”

“Oh?” he said as if he was remarking on the weather and not slowly stroking his cock under her ardent gaze.

“Oh, _yes_. Sometimes, it seems like you’re trying to make me think of nothing other than your touch. It’s a little…”

“Torturous?”

“I was going to say overwhelming, but a pleasurable kind of torture, sure.”

“Well,” he said while making a quick gesture with his free hand. Rey felt a slight pressure against her shoulder, and she let him push her back into the bed. “Let me get back to it, then.”

Rey bit her lip and watched as he slid between her legs. His big palms pressed tight into her thighs and his cock curved enticingly, bobbing slightly as he moved.

“I’ll go slow,” he promised.

“I’m pretty wet…,” she started to say, but he laughed a little before shaking his head.

“I’ll go slow.”

She’d duck to his experience on this one. Because _f__uck _if he didn’t make her feel good—better than anyone else ever had. Though Rey had only ever had a few lovers, and not one of them had ever made her feel the way Ben did. He didn’t even have to try; it was all so effortless.

Rey had the presence of mind to wonder whether he used his strange magic tricks to see what she wanted more of, but she also thought that he was a skilled and obliging lover.

He _always _made sure she came before him, and she couldn’t say that for literally any of her other lovers. It was like he tried to erase every memory—every shitty, boring, unsatisfying memory—she had, only to replace them with memories of him and what he did to her.

Rey bit her lip, suddenly nervous about what was going to happen. He was right, he was big, but more than that was the fear that things would change between them. This wasn’t casual, and the tension that ran between them was undeniable. She cared for him, and he for her. Rey was certain that this moment would change everything, but would it ruin it?

Ben tipped his head to the side and held her gaze. “Stay with me.”

Rey took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay?” he repeated while taking his cock in hand. His thick crown was slick, leaking. Had he not been between her legs, she’d have curled down and sucked him clean. Ben’s throat bobbed. His jaw clenched. He must have heard her obscene thought.

“Stop trying to distract me,” he managed before shifting closer. He notched his length along the seam of her opening and waited. “Okay?”

One last chance to back out, but Rey wanted this—wanted him. “Please, Ben. Don’t stop.”

“Whatever you want, sweetness,” he replied before slipping in, just a little.

Rey swallowed thickly. Okay, so he was right. It wasn’t just that he was long, he was also thick, and it was—he was—a _lot._

“_Oh_…!”

_Fuck, _she thought as he shifted again. Inch by thick inch, he moved. Lip caught between his teeth, pale skin glistening as he held himself back for her. Finally, he let out a slow, shaky breath as he pressed forward and seated himself entirely within her. Rey whined softy, hips twisting at the sensation of being stuffed full of him.

Ben stopped, arms braced on either side of her as he stared down, waiting.

“Ben, it’s…”

“I know,” he murmured between lingering kisses against her chest. “I know.”

Finally, when the overwhelming feeling of fullness subsided, leaving a pleasurable sort of ache in its wake, Rey moved. Her hips shifted as she tested out the feel of him.

“I need... _Oh..._” her voice trailed off as he _moved_.

_That… more of that… _she thought, and he heard her. She knew he’d heard her.

His arms slipped under her, holding tight as he rolled his hips. Heartbeat against heartbeat, he controlled the pace and depth of his cock while Rey wriggled beneath him. Her legs and arms came up and slipped tight around his back in an obvious attempt to spur him on, but Ben just smiled against her neck and continued his slow, methodical fuck.

It felt like madness, the way he was taking her, the control he had over them both as he gave her everything she didn’t know she wanted. His brow pressed against hers as he kissed her—hard. She could taste herself on his lips, and the possessive feeling that overcame her at that was almost feral.

Here he was. Inside her. Ben Solo. _Hers_.

_Mine, _Rey thought before she could stop herself.

“Yours,” he agreed.

With his arms wrapped tight, he gave a quick jerk, quickly seating her in his lap as he shifted their position. He was buried so deep within her that Rey couldn’t think around how stretched and filled she felt.

For a moment, they sat together, only their heavy breaths and erratic heartbeats breaking the silence. Ben stared into her eyes and she into his. It felt like she could fall into those honeyed depths and lose herself in him. In this.

“Move for me,” he sweetly urged, big hands tight and insistent on her hips as he held her.

Ben leaned forward, forehead against hers as she rolled. He caught her gasp with his lips, pulled her tight to increase her slow grind, and between them both bloomed something… different. Something wild and untamed and infinite as the galaxy itself. Sensation surged between them, and Rey had just enough presence of mind to wonder whether he’d been augmented _there._

“Don’t be afraid. I feel it too,” he soothed.

“Ben it’s….” Rey’s words ended on a low moan, words stolen from her as that sweet power curled and coiled within her.

It was too much. Frightening even, what flowed between them. And he felt it too. Was it as overwhelming for him as it was for her? For a moment, power surged inside of her, bright and brilliant as a star. In his gaze, she could see something as endless as the galaxy. It was this moment. It was the past. It was the future. It was… _his lips on her body, branding her soul, his cock within her, his sweat against her skin, his taste, his…_

It was everything. Tears slipped from her eyes and her mouth parted as a slow whine slipped from between her lips.

_Ben, please, _she thought—she begged. Knowing and trusting him to give her what she needed and to keep her safe from whatever was happening. His hand skimmed from her hip and up her sweat-dampened spine, notching at the back of her neck and holding tight.

“Be with me. Now,” he said, grounding her and taking away some edge off that frightening, endless feeling.

Rey took a deep breath, and then another. His heat and scent and strength pulling her back into their shared present. This was Ben. And this was something she’d wanted for a very long time. Now that she’d had it, it was so much more than she’d ever thought it could be.

Love was frightening. Love was powerful. She loved him. And that was all that mattered right now. Her head lolled as she gave herself over to Ben—to whatever it was that was flowing between them. Rey’s hips rolled as she found her rhythm. He was so fucking big that it didn’t matter how he took her. She could feel every thick, delicious inch of him pressing up against every needy place in her.

His hand dug into her hip and neck, pulling as he fucked up into her movement. The pleasure mounted in her. And soon the insistent pressure within, combined with the strange swirling sensation of his power without, had her on the precipice again.

Ben pressed a tight kiss to her lips. “Just a little more. Can you do that for me, sweetness?”

“Ben—I…” Words were _hard._

_I need this. Please, give this to me? I need you so badly I can’t think around it. I just know that I need it—deserve it? Please. Please. Please. _Harried thoughts cycled through her mind as Ben pushed them both to the limit. Could she do it? Could she hold on for him?

“Ahh,” he groaned softly. “My good girl. I’ll give you everything you want and more. Stay with me,” he managed.

But as his hand slipped from her hip to her core, thumb gently swirling over her swollen, slick clit, she didn’t think she’d be able to hold out much longer. Rey locked eyes with Ben, hands coming up to thread into his damp hair as she ground herself into his lap recklessly, muscles clenching _hard _around his cock as she moved.

If he was going to keep pushing her, the least she could do was return the favor. And her ardor was rewarded. His full lips parted on a soft gasp, hand clenching at her hip like it was a lifeline.

“Rey,” he ground out.

“Ben?”

“Oh!—_Do that again,_” he said, magic and lust shifting the tenor of his words into something almost inhuman.

So, she obliged him. Body moving almost of its own accord as she fucked herself on his length. And it was too much, and it was exactly enough. Sweet sensation pulsed as their bodies finally let go with a liquid-hot surge as they came together.

* * *

_ **…And in the newest blast from celebrity gossip holonist, Galaxy Glitter…** _

_Buckle up, darlings, because do we have a story for you! _

_Now, we know that you’re here for the goods about Ben Solo, and Gods, aren’t we all? And today, we deliver. We accept jewels, fresh and exotic fruits, and credits as compensation for our unending dedication to gossip._

_But we all knew how things were supposed to go. The stage was set, and all the players arrived at the opera… except! Ben Solo was supposed to be on the arm of Pantora’s darling, Cirraen Lindet, but we all know how fast plans can change in the galaxy._

_Instead, Ben was caught kissing a mysterious and masked mistress—how scandalous! Though there are no photos of the alleged incident, trusted sources assure us that it did, indeed, happen. And darlings, we are livid that we don’t have holos to replay on repeat. Ben Solo, kissing someone in public? Is a black hole going to suck us all up, next? Gods know how much we’ve dreamed about that mouth, but that’s beside the point. Because kissing is a very big deal, darlings._

** _**Is Ben Solo getting serious?**_ **

_Has he not taken our many notes and holos as a sign of our eternal love and devotion? And who is this mystery sentient? Surely, no one we’ve ever heard of. And if it’s no one we’ve ever heard of, how can they possibly be worth knowing?_

_We’d cry, but that might ruin our skin, and we can’t have that. We will soldier on…and, more to the point, we’re not through with the gossip! Though Ben may be one of the galaxy’s shining stars, he was far from the only source of scandal at the opera in Bespin. Our sources say, Cirraen Lindet arrived on the arm of a handsome (and dangerous) date. Someone whose name we dare not repeat, though you should be able to find it easy enough._

_Even we have our limits. Was Cirraen looking to make Ben Solo jealous at what was to be her auction-awarded event? Or is there more at play here than even we know? All we can say is this: we shall be watching with bated breath for what’s yet to come. Scandal! Heartbreak! you know we love the sordid details and will surely be here to report on the best and worst of all that happens in the galaxy._

_GG out and watching!_

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**Author's Notes:**

Hey all! Holy 2021 lol. Been pretty busy with work, but I have most of the next chapter written too (and some beyond), so it shouldn’t take too long to get the next out 😊 Thanks for all of your love. Big hugs to you and hope the year is treating you kindly. Oh ho ho ho. You forgot the rest of what Ben said, Rey!

_“For the right person, I would burn down the galaxy.”_

I loved that about the Skywalkers/Solos. They’re so fucking messy and single-minded in a lot of ways. They do what *they* think is right, damn the consequences! And that makes for such interesting stories. I wish the (new) movies leaned into this, but they don’t really seem to think being a Skywalker is nothing other than a name. Which it’s not. It’s the family behind those characters, and not some fucking mantle to be passed around.

ANYWAYS. Got some wild family news recently, so things have been weird lol. Doing my best here. Next chapter shouldn’t take so long to get up because I worked on this and that together. Here’s hoping I can get something up again for the week of the 8th (that’s my birthday week, so happy birthday to me).

*CONGRATS ON THE SEX, BEN AND REY!* It only took uhhh 22 chapters. It doesn’t count as a slow burn if they do everything else under the sun lol. Anyway, it’s a good thing Rey wore a mask at the opera, let’s just go with that. Too bad someone seems to realize that she’s more important than she seems—or maybe that she’s more important to a certain someone (Ben) than they want to let on? Never let your guard down in this galaxy, that’s for sure. Anyway! Thanks for being awesome and I’m gonna keep tap tap tapping away at this. 😊

**OH and just so nobody’s disappointed later, there’s no pregnancy/kids in this fic. So you can imagine that both Ben and Rey have birth control implants and that this is in the GFFA where space magic keeps you safe from real-world consequences, and they had a long chat about it all and are definitely both on the same page about everything, the end 😉 Any mistakes are my own. I've been working like a maniac, so I'm doing my best here 😊 ALSO I JUST NOTICED, but this is officially the longest thing I've ever written lol 😭😭😭😭😭**

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**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend,** **or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading!**

**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom [@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media just in general. Take care of yourselves!!!**


	23. Only You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben have a relaxing bath and an unexpected surprise after a long, long night.

Ben snored while he slept. Not loudly, just a soft snort on each exhale from his long nose. It was endearing, even though it woke her up. Or was she woken by him reaching out for her while he slept? The soft caress over her middle, and sleepy movement of his hand as he tugged blankets higher around them both.

Rey blinked as the room came into bright focus. Light streamed in from the large windows, and though the sunrise was muted by the electro-tinted glass, it was still brilliant. Takodana had remarkable sunrises too, but Rey’d have to leave the valley where Maz’s castle was to appreciate it. Here, on a clear day, Bespin was all endless sky. As Ben slept, Rey tried to imagine what it’d be like to wake up like this every day.

She wasn’t even sure she’d ever actually woken up next to someone before. And it was… really nice, even if he was a bit warm. Still, having Ben’s arms around her—beneath her head and around her stomach—was comforting, even as she thought of all the reasons why it wouldn’t be a good idea to get too attached to waking up next to him.

Even if things did change now, he still had his life of glitz and glamor and she was, at best, a bodyguard with a dubious past. He made time for her, she knew that, but how often would that continue to be the case? Ben stirred in his sleep, arm tightening around her as if in response to her thoughts.

Rey sighed. For the moment, at least, she should enjoy this, shouldn’t she? She could snuggle in, just a little, and let herself dream. Rey curled her arm up, and Ben’s gift gleamed in the golden light as it jiggled on her wrist.

Would Finn and Rose notice his present? It wasn’t like she was known for wearing jewelry. Normally, she’d make up some story about who and where it came from—or where it was stolen from, but she’d already gotten drunk and talked too much with those two, so it wasn’t like they’d be surprised to hear that Ben got her something.

Maybe they wouldn't even ask? A smile worked its way onto her face. No way Rose wouldn’t notice. She noticed _everything. _It was one of the reasons she and Finn were so successful in their missions. Rose seemed to have a second-sense about things.

Gods knew, she’d saved Rey’s ass on more than one occasion because of it. Finn too. Growing up on the fringes, they’d all struggled to stay alive, so it wasn’t surprising that they’d sharpened their survival skills. Speaking of which, given how Rey was constantly moving and anticipating a fight, she was surprised to realize that she was _really _sore. In a few places, actually.

Rey looked over at Ben, watching him snore softly as she thought, _Well, I guess it has been a while, and… he is…_

She thought she saw his lip quirk, but he was definitely still sleeping, so her attention returned to the slight weight around her wrist—Ben’s gift. Rey wasn’t sure what the bracelet was made of and it would probably be rude to ask, but she assumed it was an expensive metal.

It gleamed like Beskar, but that was far too rare to be used as some trinket for her. As she looked closer, she realized the strand around her wrist wasn’t solid, but intricately braided with many long, thin strands.

Rey couldn’t imagine the kind of talent it would take to make something so intricate, and she was half-terrified that she’d end up breaking it or catching it on something. Still, it was nice, both that he’d thought of her and wanted to give her a gift, and the gift itself. It ranked as one of the nicest things she owned—just slightly behind her blasters.

_I wonder where it was made… _she thought. Rey’d never seen anything quite like it before. It looked almost antique.

“It’s Alderaanian,” Ben said sleepily, answering her thoughts.

“Does it have a meaning?” Rey knew enough about the tragic planet and its history to know that, for the descendants of Alderaan, everything had a meaning.

“It does,” he said after a wide yawn.

“What does it mean, then?” Ben smiled and said nothing.

Rey glared because she had her answer. “One of these days, I’m going to decode all your secrets, and then you won’t be able to play the dashing, secretive prince any longer.”

“You think I’m dashing?”

Rey sighed. “You really are the worst.”

“And you bring out the worst in me, but that’s why you love me, isn’t it?”

“What makes you think I love you?” Rey hedged. She most definitely was in love with him, but she’d be damned if she said it first.

“Your thoughts betray you.”

“My thoughts do not.”

“Sure thing, smuggler,” he said before scooting close to press a soft kiss to her brow. “It’s okay. I know there are many kinds of love.”

So maybe he didn’t _quite _know how much she loved him, but he did think there was something there. And he was right. But she wasn’t ready to let him know that it was the kind of love that had the potential to utterly destroy her.

But maybe that’s what it was about? Opening up and making herself vulnerable in a way unique to love. How could she love without opening herself up to heartache? She couldn’t. If he were hurt. If he betrayed her. If things all went to shit and she was left alone, again. It all had the potential to break her.

Ben could break her if he wanted to. He could draw her into his little world and make her believe every lie she’d ever been told. He would tell her such beautiful lies, she was sure of it. He could make her believe the galaxy existed just for the two of them. And he could take that beautiful world, turn it on its head, and make her heart bleed.

She was afraid, and she knew he could sense that. His hand on her hip traced gentle, soothing patterns into her skin. He cared for her. Did he love her? _Could_ he love her? When all was said and done, and they stood at the end of their story, what tales would be told about the Prince of Alderaan and the smuggler? Would the storybooks even remember someone like her?

It was a lot to think about and too much for the moment. So Rey did what she did best and avoided thinking about the complicated things until she had to. Instead, she focused on a random question she wanted an answer to. Things had been different between them—intense, really. More intense than normal and there had to be a reason for it.

He _had _to have some sort of augmentation. There was no other explanation for what she’d felt last night when he’d been inside her, right? No logical explanation, anyway.

“So,” she started as casually as she could muster, “how long have you had the cock implant?”

Ben had been in the middle of sliding off the edge of his big bed when he stopped, laid back down, and rolled over slowly.

He looked her in the eyes, and blinked _twice_, before asking_, _“How long have I had _what_, exactly?”

Rey’s breath caught in her throat as she thought back to _that _moment again. _Don’t be afraid, I feel it too, _he’d said. But did they feel the same thing? She laid there, spiraling for a moment as Ben reached over and gently traced a finger along her cheek.

“Well?”

She turned her head a little to hide her face in the pillow, muffling her voice as she repeated the question.

“There’s nothing implanted in my cock, Rey,” he replied, clearly amused.

“Are you sure?” she blurted.

“I’m sure.”

“But then what was…?”

Ben took so long to answer that she finally turned her face away from the pillow to look at him, which must have been what he was waiting for. He was grinning, which pissed her off but also made her a little breathless. It didn’t matter how many times she’d seen it, Ben was fucking stunning with a smile.

“What was that unbelievable moment that we shared?”

Her cheeks flushed. He was drawing this out to tease her, she just knew it. “Yes. That.”

Ben nibbled his lip thoughtfully before answering, “The Force.”

Rey snorted and rolled her eyes, but Ben just shrugged. “No, wait. You’re serious? There’s _no way _that’s something the Force can do!”

“Why do you think that?”

“I mean… isn’t it just some mystical power where people lift rocks or something?” She tried to remember what she’d heard about the Jedi over the years and was coming up with a whole lot of nothing.

“Lifting rocks. Well, I was rock _hard_, if that’s what you mean.”

“That is most definitely not what I mean. Ben, you have more experience with this kind of thing. Are you fucking with me?”

“No. I mean, yes? But not really. I think… whatever this is between us, it’s something else. Something that I haven’t experienced before.”

“I mean, sometimes it’s like you’re in my head, but this… It was like you were _in _me.” Ben’s lip quirked and Rey cut him off before he could say what she knew he wanted to say. “Yes, I know you were _in _me, but _all _of me. My whole being felt filled up with you.”

Ben took a moment and seemed to be thinking over what she’d said. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe it was all in _her _head?

“Maybe I’m trying to find the right words?” he said, answering her worries.

“Sorry, it’s a lot.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is. I don’t know what to say. Like I said, it’s not something I’ve experienced before. I could ask my uncle, but things are a little strained between us so….” He trailed off.

“It’s fine. I don’t want you to do anything that’ll make you uncomfortable.”

Ben smiled again. “I’d do anything for you, but I think I have an alternative,” he added the last part quickly, though her mind _did _catch on the first part of her sentence.

It almost felt like… But no, her emotions were her own and she didn’t want to pressure him into saying anything before he was ready, but still. It did seem like he meant something else when he said that he’d do anything for her.

“What alternative?” she finally asked.

“My library is on Corellia. I could visit my home there and see if there’s anything in the texts I’ve collected over the years.”

“Texts? Like datapads?”

Ben shook his head, long locks of dark hair falling into his eyes. “No, books—paper books. Bound.”

“Holy shit,” Rey marveled. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen a real book, let alone held one. Sometimes, they turned up as curiosities or as weird requests for Maz’s clients, but that was about it.

“Yeah, they’re special to me. They’re in a controlled environment so they don’t deteriorate. But maybe there’s something in them? And, if not, there’s always Luke.”

“The uncle you’d rather not talk to?”

“That’s the one.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

Ben shook his head. “No, not now anyway. I have better things on my mind.”

“Like what?”

“Have you ever had a bath?” he asked and Rey just _barely _kept herself from scoffing.

“Of _course, _I have. We have sonics on Takodana.”

Ben laughed. “No, of course, I know you _shower _but have you had a bath in a tub—with water?”

Rey blinked at him. Of fucking _course_ she hadn’t. What was she made of credits?

“A little too decadent for my lifestyle. Water is too precious a resource to waste.”

“It’s recycled on Bespin. At least, some of it is. We might be decadent, but we are environmentally minded, as if Uncle Lando would have it any other way...,” Ben muttered.

Rey laughed. “Understandable given the living conditions. So, why’d you want to know about my bathing habits?”

“I was wondering whether you wanted to have a bath—a real one. With me.”

Rey hummed. “You mean, you were _hoping _that I’d want to take a bath with you, isn’t that right?”

“Yes, well. You did ‘ruin my pretty hairstyle,’ and you’re a little messy yourself,” he drawled.

Rey frowned. “Yes, well. Sex with you is pretty messy.”

Ben caught his tongue between his teeth. “Yes, and that’s why it’s so good,” he bragged.

Rey rolled her eyes but didn’t disagree. As messy as it might have been, it was pretty fucking great. No, better than great. It was the kind of fantastic that had pretty much ruined her for all other sentients in the galaxy.

_What a shame that I’ve gone and set my heart on him, _she thought before she could stop herself.

To his credit, Ben smiled but didn’t offer her platitudes. Just reached out and caressed her cheek. For a moment, he looked at her with a confused expression on his face, and she was just about to ask him what was wrong when he reached up and plucked something from the middle of her forehead.

“This doesn’t go there,” he said, staring at the artificial beauty mark that was once high on her cheek.

“Oops. I guess this is what Rose is talking about when she says you should always wash your face before going to bed.”

“Yeah, it’ll give you wrinkles if you forget to do it too often,” he offered. “And ruin your complexion—and you have such a lovely complexion, sweetness.”

“Yes, years of wind and radiation damage will do that to a girl,” she joked. Between the two of them, Ben had her beat as far as self-care went.

“Ahh, maybe you’ll get lucky and some of my good habits will rub off on you—maybe we should try a little more rubbing, just to see?”

Rey laughed. “Yes, well, so far, seems only your bad habits have rubbed off on me.”

Ben perked up. “Oh? Like what?”

“Well, I’m getting more vain.”

“Brushing your hair in the morning is not vain, Rey,” he interrupted.

“And I’m starting to rethink this whole loner thing.”

“Still not seeing any negatives here.”

Rey huffed, stalling. It wasn’t like he was that bad of an influence. Self-indulgent? Sure. Vain? Well, it was part of his ‘job.’ But he cared—a lot. And it was obvious to anyone who knew him how deeply he loved his friends and family. That was strange to Rey, who’d just barely opened herself up enough to consider Finn and Rose as friends. But now… she had Ben, too. It was frightening.

“You make me feel so… seen. And it’s scary,” she finally admitted.

“Ahh,” he said, and nothing more. Just opened his arms and let her snuggle up into him.

“I don’t trust easily,” she explained.

“I know.”

“And I’ve been broken, you know? It’s just… not easy to forget the past.”

Ben pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “I don’t know that I can promise that I’ll never hurt you. But I’ll never purposefully hurt you, and if I do, I promise that I’ll make it worth the pain.”

“Not much of a reassurance there, Ben.”

“I know you. You know the truth about how things work in the galaxy—how things change as quick as a flash. I can’t control what happens, but I can do my best to be there for you even if things go sideways.”

“They always manage to go sideways,” she murmured against his chest. “Always.”

His hand traced soft circles into her back. “Then we’ll just have to learn to defy gravity, won’t we?”

“And how are we gonna do that?”

Ben laughed, a soft rumble against her cheek. “The Force.”

“You and the Force! That’s your answer for everything!”

“Well, it’s because the Force _is _everything and everyone.”

“You’re starting to sound like the old mystics on Jakku,” she teased.

“Oh? And how were they about their skin routines?” he joked.

Rey laughed, she couldn’t help herself. He was so easy to laugh with.

“Back to skin routines, then? Rose would be so happy.”

“Unsurprising, considering she always does have the best advice,” Ben mused.

Rey wondered how he knew that and just how well those two knew each other. Of course, Ben and Finn had more than a few encounters and Rose had said something about Ben saving her ass once, but this almost made it seem like they were friends.

Maybe they were. There were certainly still things that Rey didn’t know about Rose, Finn, Maz… and that probably extended to Ben, too. Though she’d been with Maz’s company for a while now, she realized that trust was slow to bloom amongst people who made their living by being untrustworthy. And anyway, it was something she could bring up another time.

Because right now, she had more important things to worry about, like the way Ben was gloriously stretched out and nude alongside her.

“So, you were saying something about a bath? I should probably get this color out of my hair…”

Ben pressed a quick kiss to her brow. “‘Fresher first, and then bath.”

“Double washing? Seriously? How decadent are you?”

“Very, but also I just like to clean myself when I’m clean.”

“That makes no sense,” Rey started.

“Well, let me put it this way. If I don’t use the ‘fresher, I feel a bit like a happabore that’s drinking out of the same water as every other happabore.”

“I dunno, happabores look pretty happy to be drinking _anything,_” Rey mused, before giving him a firm poke. “I’m gonna chalk this one up as some sort of Aristo thing.”

“Once you try it, you’ll wonder how you ever had a bath any other way.”

She was not going to remind him that this would be her _first _real water bath, because that was the kind of thing that served to make the divide between them even wider.

“Mind lending me a shirt? I don’t wanna put that dress back on.”

She could have gone to her room—it was connected to his—but she didn’t want to leave him. Fortunately, Ben had something to spare. After disentangling himself from Rey, he dipped into his closet and came back with a long, white shirt. At least, it was a long shirt for _her. _On him, it’d probably look normal.

She took it from his hands and slipped it over her head. It barely obscured her body, but Ben assured her that it was only the two of them, “And 3PO.”

“Well, I’m not interested in scandalizing your droid,” she mumbled. “Aren’t you going to put something on?”

Ben shrugged. “Do you want me to cover up?”

Rey tilted her head and considered. No, she didn’t, but she wanted him to be comfortable, so she shrugged and told him exactly that.

Ben leaned in conspiratorially, “Well, I’ve grown fond of how you can’t keep your eyes off of me, so I think I’ll keep things the way they are.”

“3PO won’t mind?”

Ben chuckled. “No, it might not seem like it, but 3PO is _quite _the adventurer.”

“Your fussy droid is an adventurer?”

“Fussy and _great _at playing protocol droid during negotiations,” Ben assured her with a wink. “But enough about him. I want to show you my bath. But first, the ‘fresher.”

Rey shook her head a little, but let him lead her across the room, and into the attached refresher. He’d let her go into the ‘fresher on her own, though the space was big enough for both of them.

It was probably for the best. That close, it’d be hard to keep her hands off of him and they might end up not making it very far from the ‘fresher, and he seemed to set on showing her his bath. Rey tugged Ben’s shirt back on as she waited for him to get clean. It didn’t take long. ‘Freshers were remarkably fast and economical.

Afterward, he led her out of his room into the long hallway, and further into his place. It was big, cavernous, really, but then all of his places felt much too big for someone who’d gotten used to living with barely anything to call her own.

At the end of the hall, he pressed his hand into a scanner and a door slid open, revealing what was most definitely more than just a ‘fresher. It was a _grotto, _complete with a waterfall. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would take to construct something like this on Bespin, but with enough credits and the right connections, it seemed like nearly anything was possible.

She just barely bit back a soft, _Damn Aristos, _but she noted Ben’s smirk out of the corner of her eye, so she’d thought it too loud, anyway.

Ben pulled her through the entryway and into what looked like a cave of light. High, crystalline walls curved upwards from a marble floor and glittered under the unfiltered sunshine of Bespin. Rainbows shimmered against the stone and water, while soft, bubbling sounds echoed as the waterfall dripped languidly into the large pool—because, of course, there were several pools. Three smaller pools were adjacent to the main one, though they main looked big enough that she could have swum in it if she wanted and knew how.

A stone formation dominated the far side of the grotto, and beneath the waterfall, it looked as if there was a cave within. All in all, it was a bit much, though Ben seemed proud of it so she didn’t want to tease him too badly over it.

“_This _is a bathtub?” Rey managed.

Ben grinned. “Of a fashion.”

One day, she would get used to the sight of Ben naked, but today was not that day. She was staring, she _knew _she was staring, _he _knew she was staring, but he didn’t mind. If his thickening cock was anything to judge by, he was enjoying her gaze.

He still had marks on his back from the tight leather belt he’d worn—even hours later. Red lines marked his skin, and he hissed a little as he moved while dipping a foot into the water. It must have rubbed against the fabric of his shirt. And then he’d let her sit in his lap and grind into him while he… And he’d not said a damn thing! He should have at least told her he was in pain.

“Does it hurt?” she managed to say, though her voice thick. “Why didn’t you say anything last night? I’m pretty good at first aid, you know. And I’m sure 3PO could get us some bacta.”

Ben waved her off. “I would die for fashion and, besides, a little pain is good for me.”

“That’s ridiculous. How can you even think that?”

Ben looked over his shoulder before he shrugged, and Rey swallowed as she watched the muscles in his back flex and play with the casual motion.

“I was thinking that it was the perfect complement to my outfit and that, if I was going to die, I wanted to die gorgeous.”

Rey groaned. “Ben, you need to take your safety and health more seriously. If you got hurt or died, who’d be able to replace you?”

_Oh, shit. _She didn’t mean to say that. It wasn’t like Ben didn’t know he was special to her, it’s just that maybe she didn’t have to go out of her way to say it quite so bluntly.

Ben cocked his head to the side. “Am I that irreplaceable to you?”

“Well, there isn’t anyone else in the galaxy that gets me into as much trouble as you do,” she said, definitely trying to keep the thoughts of how much she loved him to herself.

The last thing she wanted to think of was Ben in any sort of trouble, and fortunately, he was preoccupied with being naked and gorgeous. So she similarly let herself be preoccupied with the little dips in his back that led into the curve of his ass, the thick muscles of his legs… the way she could _just _see the tip of his cock swaying as he walked. Yes. She had nicer things to focus on right now.

“Mmm, I like that. Keep it up,” he replied before dipping further into the water.

“Keep what up?” she asked while picking at the edge of her shirt. She didn’t have a bathing suit to wear, so either she walked into the “bath” with his shirt on or she went in nude, like Ben. “I’m keeping this shirt,” she mentioned.

“Go ahead. I seem to recall I owe you one after ruining yours,” he drawled, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

Rey bit her lip as her thoughts returned to the time when she’d gotten him off and she’d used her shirt to clean his spend off of his ample chest. He knew exactly what she was remembering, so she pulled his shirt off with one quick tug to give him something else to think about. He stared a little, eyes wide and lips parted.

Eventually, he composed himself enough to continue teasing her. “Keep up pretending like you don’t love being around me.” It was strange. She didn’t feel like anything special, but whenever Ben looked at her, she felt as if she was.

Rey sighed before sticking her toe in the water. “Well, I can’t make things _too _easy for you. And you do spice up my life, that’s for sure.”

Ben crossed over to fiddle with some bathing amenities while Rey sat down on the cool stone and dipped her legs in. The water was lovely, and she let the soft sounds of the waterfall relax her until an errant thought floated into her head.

“Is this a private grotto, Ben? Or do you always fall asleep on top of your partners and then insist on bathing with them in the morning?” Rey joked.

At least, it was meant to be a joke, but Rey’s gut clenched at the thought. She wanted to be the only one he looked at. The only one he thought of. _His_. Despite herself, he was most definitely hers, whether he knew it or not.

Still, Ben gave her a curious look before wading over to where she sat on the edge. It was hard to take him seriously when he was so gloriously nude, but she tried. He was taller than her, even seated as high as she was. With a sigh, she let her head fall back and stared up into his warm gaze.

“I’ve never taken anyone else here. Never had anyone other than you and my Uncle in the apartment, actually,” he assured her.

“What about 3PO?”

“Goes without saying.”

“Just me?”

“Just you.”

The water lapped at her legs. It almost tickled. It was different from the shower she’d taken in Ben’s place on Arkanis, more decadent. People died for this kind of thing on Jakku. In many places, they fought wars over control of resources, and here on Bespin, it flowed freely. Things were so different for Ben.

It was hard not to resent him a little. But she also loved him. Her heart was wrapped up in complicated thoughts of _him _and so much longing. He was so much and so different from she thought someone like him would be. Beautiful inside and out. It hurt her heart to think about how much she cared about him. He could break her now if he wanted to. But he didn’t want to. He wanted…What did he want?

“You, Rey,” he answered her thoughts.

It was all she’d ever wanted—for someone to choose _her. _Even her parents had abandoned her. Nobody came back for Rey. Nobody wanted her for anything other than what she could do for them. But not Ben. And she wanted him the way he wanted her, despite their circumstances. There wasn’t anyone else in the galaxy more perfect for her, despite how different they were from each other.

Her eyes were a little bleary. His angular features blurred as she stared at him. “Ben, I…” She couldn’t finish. She wanted to, but the words stalled on her lips. _I can’t say it first. I can’t, but he knows, but I just can’t…_

Ben reached out and gently pulled her off of the edge and into the water. He tugged her deeper and deeper as the water flowed and flowed over her skin. It was overwhelming, a little frightening, but Ben was there to guide her and keep her safe. She trusted him to keep her safe, and the revelation was nearly as scary as the thought of not being able to tread water.

“Hold me,” he directed while tugging her close.

As Rey slipped her legs around his middle, his arms wrapped around her bottom, pulled her tight against him, and held her. Soft bubbling and their breaths were the only sounds. His body was taut, warm against hers—smooth, slick. It was rapturous to be held like this.

“So, this is why people have baths together,” she marveled. His body felt even better—wet and hard against her.

“Do you want me to wash your back?” he offered while wiggling his eyebrows, and the look was so silly that Rey couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re ridiculous,” she said, holding tighter. He’d gone far enough out into the water that his chest was nearly covered, which meant she probably couldn’t touch the ground unless she was on her tippy toes.

“Scared?” he asked, maybe sensing her shift in mood.

“I can’t swim,” she admitted. “Not a lot of need for it growing up, and Takodana has too many strange things swimming beneath its waters.”

Ben cocked his head to the side. “Wanna learn?”

“Maybe some other time. I’ve got something else on my mind right now.”

“Oh?” he said, so innocently she could almost believe that his cock wasn’t rubbing into the underside of her ass.

“I think you do too,” she murmured.

“Well, if this is your first time in a bath, I have to expect that there’s a whole laundry list of things that you’ve never done in here before.”

“Okay, first of all, this isn’t a bath, it’s a pool. And second, you’re right.”

Ben chuckled. “Oh, my little water virgin Rey. Come now,” he said as his big body shifted them closer toward the waterfall. “Let me show you the best part…”

Warm water misted their faces as Ben slowly moved, curving around the flow of the falls as he carried her behind. It _was _pretty nice. A low bench was carved into the curve of the structure and sat beneath the water. Atop the bench, a dimly lit nook peeked out where soft pillows, throws, and towels were placed.

She was just about to ask how the hell anyone got in there to replace anything when Ben admitted, “There’s a door at the back that’s accessible from inside, but it disappears into the wall well enough.”

“And I’m the only one you’ve ever brought here?”

“My one and only,” he assured her.

Rey grinned and teased. “So, you’re just as much a virgin here as I am.”

Ben looked thoughtful for a moment as he stopped just short of the bench. She thought he was going to tease her back, but he surprised her by agreeing.

“I guess that’s right. Shit…”

“What?”

His tongue peeked out slowly before his mouth curved. “I’m surprised at how hard that makes me.”

“What? Little virgin Ben likes the thought of getting ravished in his secret grotto?” Rey teased.

Ben hissed softly, hands tightening on her body. “Yes. That.”

“_Oh,_” she said thoughtfully. She’d thought he was joking, but the look on his face was anything but humorous. It looked like he wanted to devour her.

“In a manner of speaking,” he purred, again answering her thoughts as he let her slip from his arms.

Behind the waterfall, the water came up to his hips, so it lapped gently around Rey’s middle as she waited. His hands guided her, turning her around until she faced away from him. With his power, he pulled the plush pillows closer to the edge and Rey realized what he was doing.

Not to be outdone, she threw a look over her shoulders before walking over to the bench and hitching her hips up and over the side of the pool, resting her slick body against the soft pillows.

Ass high and perfectly positioned for him, she asked, “Something like this?”

She could almost see the gears in his mind working as he blatantly stared at her ass. “Gods, Rey,” he growled.

His hand clenched at his side and she knew he was resisting the urge to fall on her and fuck her senseless. Ben had a slavish devotion to her pleasure, and as much as he wanted her, he seemed to want her enjoyment even more.

He stepped close, hands reaching out to massage into the flesh of her bottom while Rey purred softly. Every so often, his fingers would dip and skim along the soft seam of her sex—not penetrating, no. Just a soft press that only made her want him more. A few times, she pressed her hips back in response, only to realize that he was holding her steady with his power as he explored her wet body.

“Stay still for me, okay?” he murmured soothingly. “I want to burn this moment into my memory.”

His breath shimmered against her back, lips dipping into the curve of her spine as he kissed a trail lower… and lower. His lips pressed against her core and Rey yelped a little in surprise, but his touch and power soothed her as his tongue gently delved.

A hand joined his mouth as he sweetly teased her—_readied _her. Soon enough, she was shimmying back into that insistent mouth, twisting as his tongue delved inside her, moaning as his fingers found that hidden tangle of nerves.

Then Ben pulled back, earning him another cry from Rey, but this time in dismay.

“Finish what you started!” she grumbled, uncharitably.

Ben’s laugh rolled over her, breath ghosting across her skin as he shifted and positioned himself behind her. “That’s my smuggler. I’ll give you what you want.”

The thick press of his crown nudged insistently against her core, slowly spreading her as he slipped within. She took a breath, readying herself for that sweet intrusion as his cock filled her. He took his time, made sure she was panting and practically begging before he bottomed out inside. Then, he hitched a hand on her hip, leaning his big body over hers, holding her _tight._

Rey let out a slow, shuddery breath as she waited, still somewhat pinned by his power. Every cell in her body cried out for more and wanted friction, wanted him to _fuck _her, and he knew it. She knew he knew what she wanted, which was exactly why he wasn’t giving it to her.

“So beautiful,” he murmured before pressing a kiss between her shoulder blades.

His lips moved, trailed a path along her shoulders, along the column of her throat before one of his big hands gently shifted her head. His lips caught hers in a rough, frantic kiss. Such a wicked contrast to the slow movement of his body within hers.

Finally, he pulled back and _really moved. _And it was bliss, the slight curve of his cock within her, angling and moving within. She loved it, the way his hips snapped, the tight press of his front against her ass, his hands on her body. All of it.

He possessed her. Claimed her like this. And, at least for the moment, all she could do was lay there and give herself to him. She’d always been a fighter, always needed to come out on top, no matter what the circumstances, but submitting like this—just a little—almost like a heavy weight was off her shoulders.

Here, she could trust him. Here, she could let him in. And he’d show her everything she’d never known to crave and so much more. Rey’d thought that being fucked by him from behind would feel more impersonal, but the way he held her—so tight, one hand on her hip, the other gently splayed across her chest—and the soft way he let her know how he was feeling and what _she _was doing to him made it so intimate.

_“So good, you’re so good, Rey. Your sweet body and those sexy little moans? I’m never going to forget it. Gonna make you come so hard that you never forget it either.”_

Over and over he praised her, made her wicked promises that she knew he’d keep. Tore her into little pieces and then put her back together again. His hand trailed low, skimming over her clit with soft little strokes as he fucked her. His power flowed over her, heightening the sensation of his lovemaking. It swirled over her skin, pulled at the tips of her nipples, and nestled in every secret, pleasurable space she had.

Every secret need she had was laid bare before him, and Ben seemed to be making his way through that list of needs, sating her desires until every thought she had was consumed with him. It was heady and powerful. A kind of connection that she didn’t think was possible until him. Maybe he was right? Maybe it was the Force.

Or maybe it was that after all this time, she’d finally found someone she loved. And perhaps that love was being reflected. Maybe that made all the difference. In the low light of his secret grotto, Rey gave herself to Ben and with his lips and hands and body, he gave her everything in return.

* * *

Much later, they got around to bathing and Ben _did _wash her back… and several other places on her body as she sat, back against his front, legs splayed over his while his big hands tripped over every single sensitive spot. She returned the favor, seating herself on his lap and slowly bouncing on his cock as she “washed” his chest and back. More like dug her nails in—just a little. But it counted, right?

Here, she took control and was more than pleased to find that Ben was just as willing to relinquish power as she. His arms spread back against the edge of the pool, full lip caught between his teeth as he watched her take her pleasure from his body. Finally, when they were both fucked, washed, and slightly famished, Ben suggested they get out of the water and Rey reluctantly agreed.

“I guess my fingers are getting all soggy,” she mused while staring at her hand.

“Gonna have to shift out of here,” Ben said pointedly. He was still semi-hard inside of her, so she gathered his meaning and pulled herself off of his cock, soft residual pleasuring zinging through her as she did.

“You sure we have to go…?”

“I’ll bring you back here as many times as you want, I promise. But I’m so hungry, I could eat a whole Grimtaash.”

“What’s a Grimtaash?”

“The Grimtaash. It’s a symbol of my Alderaanian family. It’s said to be a protector of our family—symbolizes loyalty, determination, warding off traitors, that kind of thing. A carving is on the entrance to this place.”

“Oh, I remember. The big fearsome thing that’s fighting some warriors?”

Ben shrugged. “Maybe. I always thought it looked more defensive, but it’s an old story. The Grimtaash would do whatever it needed to keep our family safe. Kind of a trait that’s passed down,” he finished before scooping her up into his arms.

“Hey!” she squawked. “I can walk, you know.”

“I know, but I’d rather keep you close. Is that okay with you?”

She guessed she didn’t mind being carried by Ben, so she gave a little nod and his arms tightened while he moved them both through the water.

“Ready?” he asked.

“For what?” she said, but he only grinned.

This time, he pulled them both through the stream of the waterfall. And it was more forceful than she’d expected. Probably would be good for sore muscles in the back.

“It is,” he assured her as they pulled away from the strongly flowing water.

“Well, another thing you can show me later?”

“That and so much more,” he purred.

Rey nibbled her lips, suddenly filled with a different kind of hunger. “Do we really…?” she started to say, this time intent on keeping Ben and his big, broad, soaking wet body in the water with her for another round... or three.

At least, that was what she’d been planning, at least until a booming voice interrupted them.

“Ben! Are you here? 3PO is going on about something and… Oh, what have we here?”

Ben let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a cry while Rey slipped from his arms and immediately pulled herself behind his body because they were most definitely no longer alone.

“Hi, Uncle,” Ben said, voice a little hoarse and ears just _slightly_ tinged pink.

And that was how Rey, completely nude and freshly fucked, met the infamous pirate, Baron Administrator of Bespin, and Ben’s uncle, Lando Calrissian.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Haha. I love Lando and I wish he and Ben interacted in the movies, but I wish for a lot of things that I’m never gonna get in that regard, so I guess that’s why I write! Anyway, a little longer than usual, so accept that as my apology for not being able to get this out sooner 😊 Just as an FYI, I’ve been sticking little updates in the description of this story. So if you’re ever curious about where I’m at/alive, you can check the description and see if I’m still kicking lol. Otherwise, I’m on twitter or you can anon on tumblr.

ALSO! I’ve read all of your lovely comments and thank you so much! I’m gonna try to get to them all today. I’m sorry it’s taken so long. I’ve just had no energy for anything, but I always read (and often reread) them all. Honestly makes it so much easier to keep writing with all of your support, so thank you so much for being so kind <3

I FORGOT! the cock implant part (because implants and enhancements are most definitely a thing in this world) was somewhat inspired by force lightning dick and if you know what that is, you've been here too long and I love you lol.

* * *

**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend,** **or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading!**

**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom [@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media just in general. Take care of yourselves!!!**


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